Translator: Blushy
Editor: delishnoodles
The room I was given overlooked the vast garden.
The Rosenstein garden was filled with lush greenery, flowers in full bloom and colourful, geometric flower beds.
The sky has been cloudy since half an hour ago, but now a few strips of light were emitted from the clouds and lit up the early summer garden as it rained.
The sounds of the rain sounded like a systematic percussion instrument. I listened to the sound as I gazed at the world that had regained its brightness for a brief moment, and I felt my gloomy mood improve a little.
âââ Shall I take a walk in the garden later?
Itâs better to breathe the outside air than be gloomy in a dim room.
I thought as I took my forehead away from the window, and a young man and woman appeared arm-in-arm from the other side of the pear tree.
The lady wearing a deep turquoise dress with a white hat that had a blue ribbon around it as if to match her dress was Diana, and the person escorting her was not Orpheus, but a young servant wearing a black suitâââ Juris.
I often see Diana with Orpheus, or with one of her maids, but I rarely saw her with Juris.
The two of them had their arms linked in a reserved way, and they slowly proceeded through the garden, which was wet with rain.
Diana, with her bright personality, smiled at Juris as if she was a sunflower, and they were happily talking about something.
âââ Come to think of it, arenât Diana and Juris childhood friends?
Juris and his parents served the Rosenstein House for two generations, and his father was currently managing the mansion at the fief, but he was a butler at this mansion before that.
Therefore, I heard that Juris had become Orpheusâs playmate and attendant not long after he came to this house.
They had known each other for a long time, so of course, he would know Orpheusâs cousin, Diana, for a long time as well.
The youth, who always smiled calmly, was holding his stomach weirdly and laughing; probably because Diana had told a joke.
Juris uttered harsh words sometimes, but he rarely revealed his emotions.
It was surprising to see him laugh loudly.
Diana had the mysterious power of making anyone smile, but I knew that there was a different reason for why Juris was laughing.
He was laughing because of the painful feelings, he had hidden in his heart for a long time.
âââ My wish is also his wish.
âDid you find something interesting?â I was surprised by the sudden voice, and my shoulders shook.
I turned around, and Orpheus was standing within reach. He stared at me, curiously.
I didnât hear any footsteps, nor noticed his presence.
A handsome face appeared near me when I turned around. Honestly, this person is terrible for my heart in many ways.
âYes. See look. Your cousin and the butler are walking in the garden.â
Orpheus looked out the window, narrowed his eyes when he saw them and said, âOh.â
The light hit him, and his blue eyes shone like jewels.
âShe must have been bored because itâs been raining for days. Walking in the garden is one of her few pleasures.â
âStrange person. What is she going to do in the garden when she canât even see?â
âFeel the outside air on her skin, smell the flowers and enjoy her other senses.â
âIs that fun?â
âWhy donât you try it? Just blindfold yourself and have someone guide you. I donât know if itâs fun, but your careless remarks will probably reduce a little.â
âShould I not make any careless remarks?â
âNaturally.â
âI see. Iâll do that if you say so.â
I nimbly turned around, moved away from the window and returned to the couch.
Orpheus also quietly followed after me and sat down on the one-seater across from me.
âIs it alright for you not to go?â
âWhere?â Orpheus asked in return with a poker-face, and I replied in amazement, âOf course to where Diana is.â
âShe had no choice but to ask Juris for help because youâre here. How pitiful. You can quickly go and take his place,â I said as I touched my face with my index finger.
The swelling didnât show any signs of reducing, the gauze was still on my face, and it smelled slightly of ointment.
âYou shouldnât touch it too much.â
âI was just curious. I wonder when it will heal.â
âThe doctor said it would take about a week, but it might take longer if itâs bad. If you want it to heal quickly, then donât irritate it and leave it alone.â
âIt doesnât look good. âââ Say, Orpheus. Is it alright for you not to go? Are you going to stay by my side?â
âIf youâll let me.â
âOf course. Stay for as long as you like. Iâm delighted to be with you. âââ Oh, the tea has gone cold, hasnât it? Shall I pour you a new cup?â
I held the cup on the table, threw the cold contents into another bowl, and poured hot tea into the cup.
âHere you go.â
âThanks. âââ Will you continue the story from before?â
âThe story from beforeâ¦â
My eyes wandered around restlessly.
We were in the middle of a conversation, but I cheered up when I saw the rain had stopped and left my seat. I canât remember what we were talking about.
It was really a pointless conversation that didnât even matter.
âIt was about Viscount Barbara who slept with another woman even though he has a fiancée. Thereâs a continuation, right?â
âAh, oh. Thatâs right. Yes. Well, that woman was Baron Raymondâs wife. Can you believe it? Even as flattery, she isnât a beautiful person, and sheâs highly strung, and most importantly, they have a 20-year difference. Donât they seem like mother and child? Apparently, his fiancée found out, and she fainted from shock. Of course, others were against their relationship as well, and it became a big fuss. But Viscount Barbara didnât break up with Baron Raymondâs wife, and they eventually eloped to Estrandal.â
I did my best to keep on talking and felt miserable, wondering why I was talking about this.
Why must I sorrowfully tell Orpheus about a Viscountâs scandal that caused him to elope to another country?
âI feel sorry for his fiancée.â Moreover, Orpheus was listening with a serious expression and replied seriously.
He also hmmmâd along to the conversation, and his reactions were good.
Better yet, I didnât feel like he was going to stop me by saying, âDonât talk about vulgar things.â
âRight? Sheâs so pitiful. Viscount Barbara should become unhappy.â
As I cursed the strange Viscount Barbara, I wondered how long I would have to keep up this farce and tampered my lips.
I acted unbefitting of Countess Rosenstein because I decided to take this opportunity to see how he would react if I changed my selfish, arrogant and domineering attitude and acted amicably.
In other words, I was waiting to see how he would react before I earnestly started to flirt with him.
With that incident as the impetus, Orpheus began visiting me almost every day to check the swelling of my cheeks and shoulders and persistently asked me if I was in pain.
When he had time, he would have tea with me like this sometimes, would stay for a long time even though we werenât talking much, look at my embroidery, ask about the book on top of the table that I was reading, and behaved as if he wanted to stay with me even if just for one more second.
Perhaps, he felt sorry for me because I couldnât go out because my father had hit me.
Orpheus was still fulfilling the minimum duties of a husband, even though our relationship is broken.
He is a faithful person.
In any case, such opportunities are rare.
Orpheus is a busy person.
If I hadnât gotten injured, then he wouldnât bother to make time to see me, and we wouldnât be spending time together.
It was an excellent opportunity to see what Orpheusâs reaction would be when his wife, who is on bad terms with him, suddenly tried to flirt with him.
Then, I suddenly changed my attitude and approached him. Orpheus had a lovely reaction; âââ he looked at me in surprise and couldnât even speak.
He was splendidly confused.
However, he didnât press me for answers by saying, âWhat are you planning on doing?â probably because he didnât want to argue with an injured person, or because he was worried about me.
He concealed his confusion, touched the swelling on my cheeks, and kept a calm expression on his face without saying or doing anything.
However, Diana was the exception. He would severely chide me if I spoke badly of her, but that canât be helped.
Everyone has things they can stand and canât.
Anyway, Orpheusâs reaction wasnât bad.
I was looking forward to imagining how he would react when my wounds have healed, and I will earnestly try to flirt with him.
The problem is whether my willpower is strong enough or not. Iâm used to playing the bad wife, so thatâs fine, but I felt uncomfortable when I act spoiled or flirt with him, probably because I wasnât used to it, and sometimes my stomach would twist. Cold sweat even comes out.
Itâs probably inevitable since Iâve only gotten started.
I shouldnât feel anything once it becomes a habit.
Just like the days when I wore a mask and felt nothing as I was being scorned and looked at coldly.
âââ Iâll definitely get divorced.
Not just for Orpheus.
But also, for Diana and Juris.
I wonât cry anymore or complain.
That day when I clung to Claire and cried is the last.
Orpheus said he wonât let me go, but I wonât stay by his side.
I have taken a lot from him⦠his future with Diana, a great deal of time, and a large sum of money.
I was occasionally moved by the times he would sometimes shower me with kindness but I canât make the person I love any more unhappy.
We canât go back to how we were.
I can only push towards the end.
Thatâs all I can do.
I donât care about my appearance, no matter how unsightly I might seem.
âOrpheus, is it really alright?â
âââ Even though Juris loves Diana.
White fingers covered a white porcelain cup with a large rose on it.
I asked while gazing at his elegance, and he replied, âWhat?â
I regretted what I had asked while whispering, âAbout Diana.â
âWhy are you asking me about her?â
â⦠I would feel bad if I got in your way. You treasure your walks with Diana, donât you?â
âBecause thatâs the only time I get to talk to her. We have tea together sometimes, but we only walk together once a month, sometimes not even that.â
I looked at Orpheusâs face.
What did he mean when he said thatâs the only time he gets to talk to her?
Donât they meet more often, talk in their rooms, eat together and spend the night together?
âI feel sorry for her because she can only talk to the servants and me⦠but she only talks about you. She misses the time she was on good terms with you. Sheâs proud about what you two talked about, what presents you gave her and how close you two were. Itâs honestly frightening. She persistently asks me what we talk about. Anyway, sheâs really concerned about you.â
âOh my, you donât have to lie to me, you know? You have meals together, go on picnics and do other things together, donât you?â
Diana still thinks of me as a friend.
When I ignored the pain from my chest and smiled, an unusual frown appeared on Orpheusâs face.
âWe donât. I donât even do those things with you. Weâve been eating separately since before you came to this mansion. Diana said she doesnât want to be indecent, so she doesnât eat in front of others. She doesnât leave the mansion either.â
âEven so, itâs a lie that you two only talk when you go on out walks and have tea, right? If not, Diana isâ¦â
âI have you, so why do I need to spend time with Diana?â
âWhy? Becauseâ¦â When I tried to continue, he sighed and interrupted me, âHow many times do I have to say it for you to understand? Diana is my cousin, and sheâs family, but I donât have any romantic feelings for her. I love her as family, but I donât love her as a woman⦠Iâve said this countless times.â
Youâre going on about this again?
Orpheus always tells me white lies like this.
He lies.
Even though he treasures her a lot, laughs like that in front of her, and looks like theyâre lovers, and yet he tells these lies.
Heâs trying to maintain our long-broken marital relationship.
Even though itâs so broken that you canât repair it anymore.
âYouâre as kind as ever. Youâre always considerate towards me like this.â
âIâm not considerate. These are my true feelings.â
I felt like my face was going to stiffen, but I kept the smile on my face.
I smiled fakely at Orpheus.
âââ I wonât be tricked, no matter what you say.
Orpheus stared back at me and cut all emotion from his handsome face. There was a cold light in his blue eyes.
âYou donât want to believe me at all. Do youâ¦â
âI donât hate you.â
ãI loathe you.ã
I declared, easily overturning the words distorting his face.
Orpheusâs complexion didnât look good like that time.
I stared out the window at the sky which was covered in dark clouds again and wondered if it was going to rain.
âI donât hate you. Rather the opposite. Actually, Iâm glad that you didnât go to Diana. I wanted to tell you this. Thanks for choosing me and not Diana.â
I turned back, and Orpheus looked puzzled.
He tightened his lips in a straight line and pondered; probably because he couldnât grasp the intentions of the woman in front of him.
I slouched, rested my chin on my knees, pretended to admire Orpheusâs handsome face, and laughed disgustingly.
âââ Itâs okay. Itâll definitely go well.
âSay, Orpheus. I think we should get along from now on. Because isnât it more fun that way for both of us?â
Orpheus didnât agree or refuse the unnatural invitation, which apparently showed I was plotting something.
He kept his legs crossed without moving and remained silent.