The movie was over and I did not pay attention to half of it. We got up and started moving. There was a bit of crowd and I ended up clutching his arms so that we wouldn't be separated. He noticed that and smiled at me.
Oblivious to the storm brewing inside my head, he was talking about the usage of the ship as a metaphor for life. Was there even a ship?
I just nodded and added 'ohh's and 'hmm's whenever appropriate. He stopped abruptly and looked at me. "Are you really not feeling well, baby? Or the movie wasn't up to your taste? I'm sorry if I dragged you along"
God! I didn't mean to worry him. Heck it was not his mistake to be oblivious about my feelings when I didn't show it or tell him about it.
"No, Dean. Please don't apologize. It's not your fault. The movie was good but I was preoccupied by some work-related things. Really, I am fine".
He seemed to consider it for a moment. "Ok, next time, please tell me how you feel so that we can change our plans according to it".
"Sure". But I was not sure what he would do if I was honest about my feelings. Would he run away?
As cliche as it sounds, I didn't want to lose him. Did I want to hang out with him even if it was going to hurt me in the long run?
This was not good for my heart. I needed to keep my distance. I have yelled at many characters from books and movies for being dumb and not having the courage to confess and move on.
But once I was in the same situation everything the protagonists did made sense. But the difference was that in fiction their love interest would always return their feelings sooner or later.
But this was real life. He was not going to magically develop feelings for me. We weren't the protagonists, right?
He insisted that he would drop me at home so that I could get some rest. I nodded and got on his motorcycle.
The ride calmed me down somehow and I realized that I let the overthinking take over me and lost some precious time with him.
We reached home and he walked me to my door as usual. "Dean, I am really ok. Don't worry" I tried to convince him with a smile.
"Ok, Alex. I thought of taking you somewhere for dinner. But maybe next time".
Dinner. I completely forgot about that. "You want to come in? I can make some dinner for us". My mouth seemed to be disconnected from my brain. Temporarily or permanently? I didn't know.
"Really? That would be awesome. I mean that would be nice". He looked embarrassed at his choice of words. I chuckled at that and went inside.
He was looking around when I prepared dinner. My dinner was nothing fancy but reheating the leftover lasagna from the morning.
I asked Dean and he was more than ok with it.
I started whistling a tune while I prepared the table for our dinner. Dean heard it and started singing random lyrics for my tune.
"Yeah, baby! Cleaning the kitchen and putting the towels away! I can see you smiling so there is a way!"
"You didn't tell me you were a singer".
I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud. I noticed that I have been laughing more when he was around.
Stop. Don't make it awkward. I begged my mind. Dean made his way to the kitchen and asked, "Do you need any help?"
I told him that I got it and suggested him to watch some TV if he wanted. He was already comfortable like it was a regular occurrence for him to sit in my sofa and swiped through the channels.
He settled on a old cop movie and made small talk with me while the movie faded in background.
There was only one thought on my mind for the whole time. I could get used to Dean being at my home. There was a sense of comfort and warmth that he brought along with him. And I liked it. Maybe more than I should.
We had dinner and he complimented me on my cooking skills. I have told him the stories from my childhood and how I started helping my mom and learned cooking from her.
"So that's why the lasagne tastes so good. Is the secret love?" He teased me.
"I don't know about where to buy that mysterious 'love' ingredient but my secret is cinnamon".
"Now that I know your secret, do you have to kill me?"
"No, but my lasagne will take care of that". We both laughed and I felt lighter. See, it is easy to spew nonsense than to talk about real feelings.
He left after getting a call from his father. I was alone with my thoughts which was a dangerous thing for my sanity.
I started analyzing each word he said and every touch that happened. And I finally arrived at the conclusion that I had no clue how he felt.
Eventhough I could say that he liked spending time with me, I wanted to wait till I hear it from his own mouth.
Will he ever say it?
A/N: What? Come on, Alex. I can't believe y'all are still not dating.
Do you think Dean should make his intentions more clear and not confuse poor baby Alex?
If you have made it this far after few cliche chapters and my cringey notes, here's the dedication for YOU.
P.S. I still love my cliche chapters and cringey notes. Would not delete it for the world :)