Chapter 11
Li Wenjian scrutinized Zhao Heng's watery eyes, trying to discern a hint of coquettishness.
However, there was none, her gaze was clean and clear.
Instead, her eyes now revealed an unyielding determination, emitting a captivating radiance.
"You don't want to stay in the Eastern Palace?" Li Wenjian asked.
The wound on Zhao Heng's hand began to itch again, her fingertips trembled, but she suppressed the urge to scratch. When a wound is healing, it shouldn't be touched carelessly, or it could worsen.
"No," Zhao Heng's heart pounded like a drum, she lowered her head again, avoiding direct eye contact with Li Wenjian.
"Why is that?" Li Wenjian pressed for an answer.
Although Zhao Heng kept her head bowed, she could feel his oppressive presence slowly encroaching. His breath enveloped her like an impenetrable net, making it hard to breathe. Her hands subconsciously clenched tightly in her sleeves, knuckles turning white.
"I am as lowly as dust, I dare not covet the brilliance of a pearl," Zhao Heng finally spoke softly.
Not just in the Eastern Palace, but among all the nobility.
No one could protect her for life, so she had to protect herself. The Eastern Palace was like the biggest whirlpool in the whole world, and she knew she was insignificant. She didn't have the strength to break through the waves or the ability to retreat unscathed from the torrents.
Li Wenjian's gaze fell on her slightly curved back. He saw her delicately lifting her skirt, as if afraid of dirtying the slightly stiffened fabric from washing, then kneeling in front of him, saying, "I know my low status, I dare not aspire to serve the Crown Prince. I lost my parents at a young age and relied on my elderly grandmother for survival. I entered the palace seeking food and shelter, never harboring any unrealistic dreams of climbing up the social ladder. My grandmother outside the palace is getting older, still waiting for me to reunite with her. Your Highness, please allow me to leave the palace to take care of my grandmother in her old age. When she passes away, I will go to the Qingxu nunnery to practice as a nun. Please grant my request."
Li Wenjian's lips curved slightly, and he asked, "Would you rather shave your head and become a nun than stay in the Eastern Palace?"
Zhao Heng's heart skipped a beat, but she eventually looked up at him and nodded firmly.
"Very well," Li Wenjian agreed readily. "I will send you out of the palace."
At these words, Zhao Heng looked up at Li Wenjian, meeting his eyes. They exchanged only a few glances, and due to his limited understanding, she couldn't discern his emotions. However, she felt that Li Wenjian had no reason to deceive her.
After a moment, she sincerely bowed to him, "Thank you, Your Highness, for granting my request."
Zhao Heng took her leave, and Li Wenjian watched her departing figure without much emotional fluctuation.
He didn't feel obligated to keep Zhao Heng by his side.
He felt guilty and pitied her, but there was no admiration or love in his heart.
She said he possessed the brilliance of a pearl.
But every time he faced her, he felt ashamed.
Although her face was calm, her gaze gentle and devoid of sharpness when meeting his, he always imagined her with tear-filled eyes, beautiful yet filled with despair.
Therefore, he was willing to fulfill her wishes, allowing her to seek what she desired and also fulfilling his own wishes.
Zhao Heng had a wound on her hand, so she didn't have to go to the medicine room for work. She lay down in her clothes, but sleep eluded her as she sighed quietly.
Eventually, she got up and started preparing the materials needed to make shoes for Bai Yu.
She didn't have many worries in the palace because she didn't seek attachments. She knew only a few people and had even fewer friends. The only ones she could talk to were her roommates Lian Zhou and Bing Tao. Besides them, there was only Bai Yu.
Perhaps because genuine care was rare, Zhao Heng cherished Bai Yu's sincerity even more.
But she knew that all the past thoughts she had shouldn't have existed, and she had to put them all away. Because of Li Wenjian, she knew that she would never marry again in her lifetime.
She felt very uncomfortable in her heart.
Bai Yu's intentions towards her, she could see it all.
They were impossible, even if she left the palace, it was no longer possible.
If things were not cleanly cut off sooner rather than later, it might harm him.
Even if she couldn't say a proper goodbye, she should at least see him, hand him the shoes, and convey her sincere intentions to him; at most, it would only be ten days, she had survived ten years, and a few days wouldn't matter.
Therefore, when Qin Zhao came in the afternoon to ask when she planned to set off, she said the affairs at the laundry room still needed time to hand over, so she would stay in the palace for another half month or so.
Qin Zhao had just been ordered to tidy up the Changqiu Hall for Zhao Heng to stay in the morning, and in the afternoon, he received a command from Li Wenjian, instructing him to find a clean manor in Jiuyue Mountain, clean it up, and prepare to take Zhao Heng and his grandmother over there.
In a half day, there was a world of difference.
*
Zhao Heng was injured on her hands, so Yun Feng let her go back to the palace first at night.
The time was too rushed, and Zhao Heng hastily bid farewell to Hui Niang and set off.
The dazzling palace lanterns lit up one by one, the drab sky pressed down under layers of dark clouds, and the afterglow of the setting sun had dispersed, seemingly brewing an upcoming spring rain.
After returning to the palace, Zhao Heng went straight to Aunt Chen's room.
Fu Ling happened to be in Aunt Chen's room, the two nieces were talking about something, and when they saw Zhao Heng come in, Fu Ling glanced at her displeased, hummed lightly, and turned her face away.
Zhao Heng ignored it, reported on her work over the past few days as usual, and left.
Fu Ling sat under Aunt Chen, coldly watching Zhao Heng leave, her graceful steps swaying her skirt elegantly, her movements graceful and charming.
Thinking of the jokes the palace maids made, saying that Zhao Heng was the pearl fallen into the laundry room, she rolled her eyes and said, annoyed, "Why is her luck so good?"
Aunt Chen carefully watched Fu Ling's expression. Her own niece, she was also well educated, and said directly, "Do whatever you want, but don't provoke her here."
"Why not?" Fu Ling was defiant.
"Because I don't allow it."
"Aunt, you're biased!" Fu Ling was frustrated. "Do you know this time the prince is going to the Duke's Mansion, so you agreed to let her go? Giving her the opportunity to show off in front of the prince? Aunt, don't forget, who is your biological niece!"
Aunt Chen had a headache, she knew her niece very well, after her father died, Fu Ling had entered the palace and had always been under her protection, living comfortably in the laundry room.
But now, this shameless niece actually said such words, which made her angry, she slammed the table in anger, "Nonsense, back then, it was you who refused to serve the Duke, insisted on having me send someone else. And now you come to me feeling unhappy."
Fu Ling's eyes were stinging from being yelled at.
She heard that His Highness personally went to the Duke's Mansion to attend to an illness, and many palace maids who accompanied him this time showed up in front of him. Feeling upset, she let out her emotions with Aunt Chen. When Zhao Heng returned, her aunt scolded her again, making her even more miserable.
"Go back and think about whether you should speak to me like that!" AuntbChen was also in a fit of anger.
Fu Ling pouted, with red eyes, sullenly returned to her room.
Aunt Chen's head was throbbing.
She had her reasons for telling Fu Ling not to provoke Zhao Xiang, all for her own good.
When Zhao Heng entered the palace that year, all the slightly prettier palace maids were transferred elsewhere, leaving only the round-faced Zhao Heng for her.
Later, Zhao Heng somehow changed slowly, the swelling on her face gradually disappeared, and she blossomed into a beauty.
At that time, she was only ten years old, but already had the appearance of a beauty.
Aunt Chen had been in the palace for over twenty years, working hard in the harem for many years without achieving much. Seeing Zhao Heng, she had evil thoughts.
She hid Zhao Heng, pampered and indulged her, allowing her to live a sheltered life. After a few years, the beauty had a slender waist, with bright and clear eyes like shimmering water.
Aunt Chen decided to give her to Jiao Jin, the most powerful eunuch in the New Dynasty.
She thought that after being with her for four years, Zhao Heng, who was always obedient and gentle, would comply with her wish to go to Jiao Jin. However, Zhao Heng was extremely determined; she went on a hunger strike for seven days, refusing to go and serve Jiao Jin.
But after four years of soothing her, she was the person Zhao Heng trusted the most, knowing all her weaknesses and used them to her advantage. She threatened her with her grandmother, saying that if she didn't obey, Jiao Jin would kill her grandmother. If she went and served Jiao Jin well, she would surely prosper.
She deceived her; Jiao Jin was a pervert, and no woman liked to leave his bed alive.
He did not cherish beauties; he had an endless supply of them.
She thought Zhao Heng was doomed.
But unexpectedly, one day Jiao Jin suddenly fell from power, all his supporters were imprisoned, and his properties were confiscated.
During that time, Aunt Chen was trembling with fear, unable to sleep at night, afraid that someday someone would find out that she had sent a palace maid to curry favor with Jiao Jin.
She waited in despair for the moment when the sword would fall on her head.
But as she waited and waited, she eventually saw a palace servant leading Zhao Heng back.
She was alive! Not only alive, but when the palace officials investigated, they only said she had been sent to Jiao Jin to make medicine, not revealing the matter of Aunt Chen offering her as a gift.
Chen Mama didn't know how Zhao Heng had survived the cruel and vicious Jiao Jin, but she knew that this girl, who had been respectful and obedient to her for more than four years, had snuck into her room one night, shedding her meekness and revealing a fierce determination, like a lone wolf in the mountains, holding a pointed hairpin to her throat, her voice childish yet menacing: "If you want to live, keep that matter to yourself."
Watching Fu Ling's angry departure, Aunt Chen seemed to be reminded of the chilling sensation of the sharp hairpin against her neck, and couldn't help but shiver.
How old was Zhao Xiang back then?
Fourteen years old?
Or thirteen?
She couldn't quite remember. In any case, she was a few years younger than Fu Ling is now.
But her patience and courage, Fu Ling wouldn't develop even after twenty more years.
Zhao Heng was a sleeping wolf cub.
For these years, the wolf cub had been dangling in front of her, making her struggle to breathe and causing her to feel like she was sitting on pins and needles every day.
Relief washed over her as she realized her impending release from the palace the following year. Finally, a chance to breathe.
"Finally, finally! Thank goodness, thank goodness," she muttered, her voice barely a whisper.
Aunt Chen pressed her fingertips against her temples, then lifted the cooling teacup from the table and took a sip.
Meanwhile, Zhao Heng returned to her quarters, where Lian Zhou was busy dismantling the brazier. With spring in full swing, there was no need for it anymore, and it only took up space in the room. Hearing footsteps, she turned and saw Zhao Heng, her face lighting up.
"You're back!" she exclaimed.
Her gaze fell to Zhao Heng's bandaged hand, her brow furrowing in concern. "What happened to your hand?" she asked.
Zhao Heng set down her bundle with a smile and replied softly, "I accidentally burned myself, but it's nothing serious. I've already applied some ointment."
"Let me see," Lian Zhou insisted, approaching Zhao Heng and gently unwinding the gauze. Upon seeing the large, alarming wound, her brows tightened.
"How did you burn yourself so badly?" she inquired.
Zhao Heng tried to reassure her, "It's fine. It just happened to burn over an old chilblain, so it broke the skin and started to ooze pus. It looks worse than it is, and it doesn't hurt much."
Lian Zhou couldn't shake off the guilt. "It's all my fault. If I hadn't asked for leave, Aunt Chen wouldn't have made you go out."
Zhao Heng patted her hand gently, trying to change the subject. "Well, I brought you both something. Where's Bing Tao?" she asked, looking around but not seeing the girl anywhere.
"Fu Ling called her away this afternoon," Lian Zhou explained.
Zhao Heng's brow furrowed again. "Is she giving you a hard time again?"
Lian Zhou shook her head, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Not really. She's been suffering from dysentery lately and practically lives in the outhouse, so she hasn't had the time to bother us. She was sent to fetch some fabric for spring clothes."
"She always lording it over us, but now she's finally getting her comeuppance," Lian Zhou chuckled.
Zhao Heng joined in with a gentle laugh.