Chapter 111.2
But Li Wenjian stayed, standing in the center of the room. Having just come back from a formal banquet, he wore a bright yellow palace costume, well-tailored to accentuate his broad shoulders, narrow waist, and lean back, appearing as the epitome of a mature man.
He gazed downward at her, his thick and black eyelashes lowered, casting a shadow in his eyes.
And it just happened to meet her gaze.
Zhao Heng took a few steps, attempting to avoid his eyes.
"Why aren't you hiding under the bed?" Li Wenjian asked.
"I didn't." Zhao Heng stubbornly denied, but her ears betrayed her, turning as red as a hawthorn fruit after rain.
Zhao Heng had been living with Li Wenjian since she was seven years old, and half of her life had been spent with him. When she was young and scared of nightmares at night, she would hide in his bed to escape the demons.
He would hold her and comfort her, appearing to her as a tall and unreachable adult. Now, as she recalled his warm chest and hands gently stroking her back, her heart would race and her face would blush.
Yun Feng said that with the monthly message, it indicated that a woman was able to conceive life and was maturing.
With a man.
It suddenly dawned on her that she had grown up, and the precious sense of shame had also grown overnight.
âWhy have you been avoiding me lately?â Li Wenjian saw the steaming milk tea on the stove, poured himself a cup, took a sip, and then noticed Zhao Heng standing by the bedside hesitating. He added, "Don't say you haven't. Have you not come to see me in the past ten days?"
"We can't be like before." Zhao Heng replied.
Li Wenjian felt a headache coming on, "Why?"
"To avoid suspicion." Zhao Heng remembered Yun Feng's words and thought of this term.
"What suspicion do we have to avoid?" Li Wenjian was puzzled. Thinking of the night she cried and came to him for comfort, he added, "Are you shy?"
Zhao Heng shook her head as she looked at him.
Li Wenjian calmly said, "Every woman experiences this kind of thing. It is through this that women can conceive life. You don't need to feel ashamed of it, let alone feel ashamed because I know about it."
Zhao Heng's fingers clenched the ribbon of her clothes, turning white from squeezing too hard. She struggled to say a few words, "It's not..."
"Not what?" Li Wenjian lifted the foam off his tea cup and took a sip.
Zhao Heng sighed suddenly, wrinkled her nose, touched her belly, and looked at him pitifully and helplessly, "I'm afraid of getting pregnant."
Li Wenjian, who was drinking tea, almost sprayed it out.
Was he the God of Fertility?
Just looking at him would make her pregnant?
"What's wrong?" Zhao Heng looked at him in confusion. Li Wenjian, who was always elegant and composed, had almost spewed out the milk tea from his mouth. She took out a handkerchief to wipe the tea off his chest, but he caught her wrist.
Li Wenjian gently pressed his forehead, "Stop overthinking!"
Not sure what she was thinking, Zhao Heng remembered what Yun Feng had told her. If a woman has monthly cycle, it means she can conceive life and having physical contact with a man in secret might result in pregnancy.
Although Zhao Heng didn't know what exactly it meant to have a child, she knew that getting pregnant out of wedlock meant disgrace and was not accepted in society.
Li Wenjian was a crown prince of a country, known for his integrity. If something were to happen between them, the gossip from the officials in the palace could ruin him.
No matter what, she couldn't let him suffer because of her.
With this in mind, Zhao Heng tried to break free from his grasp, but he tightened his grip and it hurt a little. Frowning slightly, she said earnestly, "I'm doing this for your own good. You know, I may not have much to lose, but you're different."
Li Wenjian chuckled at her words and looked at her lips.
After she finished speaking, Zhao Heng felt a bit embarrassed, lowered her head, fidgeted with her fingers, and occasionally glanced at him when she felt his constant gaze and smile, feeling a little uneasy. "What are you laughing at?"
"I'm laughing at how someone who is usually quite clever can act foolish now," Li Wenjian replied.
She pouted in discontent, "What do you mean?"
Li Wenjian couldn't help but touch her cold and soft hair, "Last time, when I was grading papers alone, you were lazy and sent Ying Que to bring me soup. And the time before that when I asked you to grind ink, you ran out of the palace to find Wei Wanyu, with Ying Que assisting with the writing materials. And the time before that..."
Confused, Zhao Heng lifted her head from his palm, "Why are you saying these things?"
"I mean, if a man and a woman have physical contact, they could conceive a child. So wouldn't I have had children by now?" Li Wenjian couldn't help but laugh.
"Won't you get pregnant?" Zhao Heng asked, surprised.
Upon hearing this, Li Wenjian shook his head.
She then let out a relieved smile, "So I can still come to see you?"
Li Wenjian patted her forehead, "Just like before."
*
The Night Snow in the Beast (Wanshou) Garden Never Stops.
The indigo blue sky tinted the entire Beast Garden with a heavy layer of dark blue.
Inside the house, the candlelight flickered high, and the night wind blew in through the slightly ajar window, causing the candlelight to flicker. The shadow of the pear tree on the window screen also swayed along with it.
"Click," the window was pushed open from outside, before Yue Li could react, a figure flashed towards her from behind, a thin hand covering her mouth.
She smelled the familiar scent of Wei Zhan and the strong smell of alcohol.
"Ah Li, are you still mad at me?" Wei Zhan spoke, his alcohol-laden breath spraying on the back of her ear as she leaned back. He held onto her shoulder tightly and kept her captive in his arms.
Yue Li said irritably, "I'm not."
Wei Zhan let go of her, moved in front of her with a smile on his lips, and took out a chestnut from his pocket, "I got this for you from Xiao Heng."
Yue Li glanced at it, noticing that the chestnut had already been peeled.
She could imagine how the young general had snatched the chestnuts from Zhao Heng's hands and peeled them on the way to the Beast Garden, just to give her the meat of the chestnut.
Seeing her reluctance to take it, he took her hand and stuffed all the chestnuts into her palm.
"Why didn't you come to the tower to meet me?" Wei Zhan asked.
Yue Li ate a chestnut and walked to the desk to tidy up the beast medicine she had just prepared.
"The Beast Garden has been busy lately, and I can't find time to break away," Yue Li replied offhandedly, the dense aroma of the chestnut filling her mouth as she made up an excuse.
Does Wei Zhan not know that the Beast Garden has been busy lately?
He knew it was an excuse made up by Yue Li, but he couldn't do anything about it and could only pat her head with a wry smile, "It's better that you didn't come. It's windy on the tower, so I don't want you to get cold."
Yue Li turned to look at him and felt a sudden flutter in her heart as she saw him smiling. He always had no barriers in front of her - in the early years when she followed him in the military camp, he was authoritative and cold in front of his subordinates, but would turn around and joke around with her.
"I heard that you fought a great battle." A smile appeared on her lips.
Wei Zhan looked very pleased and went on to talk incessantly about the battle on the battlefield. Yue Li sat on a small stool, propped her chin on her hand, and imagined how thrilling and intense the battle must have been from his words.
People said that Wei Zhan was a natural born military talent - bold and daring, using aggressive and unconventional tactics in battles, the barbarians from the north even called him a mad dog.
A mad dog.
Yue Li thought this description suited him best.
In the third year of Xuanhe, they were still in Jingzhou.
On the eve of the battle with the northern barbarians, Wei Zhan exposed the spies from the enemy in the army to boost morale, and in front of the entire army, had those ten-plus people beheaded.
In the camp, she heard the curses and insults of those ten-plus people, saying the filthiest and most vicious words to Wei Zhan.
But in the blink of an eye, heads rolled, blood flowed like a river.
At night, she had that terrible nightmare again.
As the great battle approached, she heard the enemy spies cursing in the daytime, and in the dark night, she dreamt of Wei Zhan being pierced by countless arrows, and his body hanging beneath the city tower, turning into a pile of bones in the yellow sand.
She woke up in a cold sweat, screaming in fear from her sleep.
"What did you dream about?" A pair of strong hands held her shoulders, with a silent encouragement and comfort surging through her.
In the darkness, she couldn't see the direction clearly, but following the sound of his voice, she turned her face towards him, wanting to face him directly.
A sudden warmth caught her off guard and imprinted itself on her forehead, with a temperature that was completely opposite to his stern expression.
"What are you doing here?" Her heart was a bit flustered; they were going to battle with the Northern Barbarians tomorrow, and at this time he should be in the camp preparing.
"Did you have a nightmare?" Wei Zhan asked.
Thinking about the dream she just had, about the dozens, maybe hundreds of bullet holes in his body, the wind and sand gradually erasing his flesh, revealing the bony body beneath. Her heart felt like it was pricked by something, and she nodded slightly.
Wei Zhan lit a candle, then walked to the desk and poured a glass of warm water, handing it to her.
"As the battle approaches, I had to execute them in front of the troops to boost morale, I'm sorry I scared you," he explained.
Yue Li knew he had misunderstood.
The blood of a few traitors wouldn't cause her to have nightmares; she was worried about him.
This wasn't the first time, and she didn't know when it started, she repeatedly had this frightening dream. She lowered her head, unable to explain.
"Can you still sleep?" Wei Zhan asked her.
She hesitated, and said, "You don't need to worry about me, go to sleep, we have to go to the battlefield tomorrow."
Dressed in splendid attire with eyes as deep as ink, his eyebrows slightly raised, he said casually, "I don't care about you, who else should I care about? If you can't sleep, get up, I'll take you somewhere."
He pulled her up from the bed, wrapped her in a cloak, and led her to the stable to get a horse. The two of them, along with a horse, headed up the mountain.
Looking back at the mountain and the distant sea of clouds, surrounded by thick fog all year round, amidst the green mountains, was a blessed land known as Linxian.
There was an ancient temple in the mountains, where it was said that enlightened monks practiced. Wei Zhan didn't believe in ghosts and gods, she didn't want any trouble, she often heard about the name of the great monk but never had the opportunity to meet him.
They went at a perfect time, coinciding with a clear and sunny day, with the sunrise breaking through the eastern sky.
Wei Zhan watched the roiling sea of clouds, pointing at the sun breaking through the thick clouds, and said, "This is a good omen."
Her face cleared up slightly.
Early in the morning, when the mountain temple had just opened its doors, Wei Zhan took her to visit. The presiding monk, with a kind and compassionate face, informed them that the morning incense had not been lit yet, so they couldn't pray and ask for blessings.
The young general pressed his sword against the neck of the white-bearded monk, forcing him to immediately light the incense.
Yue Li was filled with anger; how could someone act like this?
She pulled down the sword in his hand, continually apologizing to the monk. The monk, with compassion and forgiveness, pardoned the young man's recklessness and allowed them to enter the temple to pay their respects.
Wei Zhan showed no respect for the gods and Buddhas, instead, he was interested in the towering lotus flowers on the temple wall, urging her to pay respects while he walked towards the flourishing corner of the garden.
As Yue Li entered the main hall, she respectfully knelt before the Buddha and prayed for Wei Zhan.
The high monk silently appeared by her side, smiling gently, "All life and death are due to reincarnation. His final resting place is not here. Miss, there is no need to worry about him now."
No need to worry now...
Prayer flags hung from the temple roof, fluttering in the wind, making a rustling sound as if an invisible hand was writing each person's fate on paper.
Yue Li turned back in amazement to the high monk, "Master, I heard that people say you can see the past and predict the future. Can you alleviate my worries?"
The young man called her, she looked up, and he picked a flower and stood outside waiting for her, holding it in his arms with a seductive red, fiery, like blood.
It reminded her of the dream where he was covered in blood.
The monk took a handful of incense ash, placed it in a lucky embroidered pouch, and presented it to Yue Li, saying, "Destiny is predetermined, some are blessed, and some are not. Whether he can stay or not, depends on whether you can hold onto him."
Yue Li walked out of the main hall dazed and confused, the young man had already grown impatient, he inserted the flower into her hair and said, "What was that old monk blabbering about? Did he trick you into giving him oil again?"
"Ah Zhan, don't say that."
"Why are you on the verge of tears?"
Wei Zhan saw the crimson eyes and the turbulent tears in her eyes, and he suddenly felt a bit at a loss.
"It's nothing," she said hoarsely. "Just the incense ash getting in my eyes."
"Why are you being so silly?" Wei Zhan put his arm around her shoulder, lowering his head. "Let me blow on your eyes for you."
The young man's warm breath sprayed on her eyelids.
It felt even itchier.
She turned away, avoiding his touch, rubbed her eyes, and placed the incense ash given by the high monk in his chest. "You better keep it safe and not lose it."
He chuckled as he patted his chest. "Now you feel better?"
The young general, proud of his accomplishments and disdainful of the world, stayed up all night to bring her to seek the high monk for her peace of mind.
This gesture was more precious than a thousand or ten thousand pieces of gold.
She nodded, tears brimming in her eyes, feeling like it was not enough, she nodded again firmly.
The wick burned, making a "crackling" sound, and Yue Li's thoughts were pulled back. She looked at Wei Zhan and asked, "What did you just say?"
Wei Zhan sat beside the luxurious bed, looking up at the woman. The light shining from the entwined flower lanterns illuminated her face, soft and captivating.
In a deep voice, he said, "I said, this time I'm not leaving when I come back. It's time for you to come back with me, isn't it?"