Chapter 17
A slight frown creased Zhao Heng's brow as she paused for a moment, her eyelashes fluttering subconsciously.
She pinched the palm of her hand with her sharp fingernails, feeling a slight sting.
After a long while, she let out a soft sigh and finally gathered her courage to bow to him. "Yes, Your Highness."
"When are you ready to leave the palace?" Li Wenshan's voice was calm, devoid of any emotion.
"Yes," Zhao Heng replied. "In the next few days, whenever it is convenient for Your Highness."
Li Wenshan pondered for a moment, his gaze fixed on her eyes. "Have you thought it through?"
Zhao Heng nodded, her initial gentle nod firming into a resolute one.
A peculiar silence descended upon the room, heightening Zhao Heng's senses, making the rhythm of her heartbeat distinctly audible.
Li Wenshan said, "Very well. I have prepared a manor for you in Jiuyueshan. Mu Gui is in charge of the arrangements. He has been tied up with military affairs these past few days, but he will send you out of the palace on the day after tomorrow."
Zhao Heng was taken aback by Li Wenshan's arrangement. With a manor and land deed, she would not have to worry about her livelihood after leaving the palace, allowing her to better care for her grandmother and ensure her peaceful old age.
She bowed deeply and sincerely said, "After leaving the palace, I will surely enshrine a Buddha statue and pray for Your Highness's longevity and good health every day."
Her gaze was always pure and clear from the beginning. Li Wenjian looked at her, remaining silent.
Towards her, he always felt guilty.
The more she expressed gratitude, the deeper his guilt became.
"You don't need to be grateful and remember my favors. If you ever need anything in the future, feel free to come find me," Li Wenjian stated.
"Your Highness." A sudden surge of courage filled Zhao Heng's heart as she saw his clear gaze, staring directly at her with eyes so deep one could hardly fathom. Her heart raced erratically, but she took a deep breath and spoke earnestly, "Once we leave the palace, we'll be even."
Li Wenjian was slightly taken aback.
Zhao Heng was not dull-witted; she probably understood why Li Wenjian treated her so generously, not only escorting her out of the palace but also providing her with an estate.
After a pause, she continued, "Your Highness, you don't need to show any more kindness towards me. By granting me freedom and a manor, allowing me to fulfill my wishes, itâs already a great gift to me. You donât need to dwell on past matters. My background is humble; I don't care much about purity..."
Growing up in a village, she witnessed many things considered unethical by noble families.
Brothers inheriting their deceased siblingâs widow, uncles plotting against nephews for their beautiful wives...such incidents occurred frequently.
For her, purity was far less important than life itself.
She even felt that the concept of purity was like a shackle imposed on women.
Since childhood, she had been perplexed by why a widowâs remarriage was condemned while a widowerâs second marriage was accepted.
On that night, she was first and foremost afraid of losing her life due to the incident and felt abhorrence towards the coercion.
"Let the past be the past," Zhao Heng said solemnly. "Let us return to dust, and to the earth."
She didnât want to be entangled in gains and losses any longer, nor did she want any ties with the East Palace.
She simply wanted to live a peaceful and quiet life.
Her words were not only to ease Li Wenjian's mind, but also to sever ties cleanly.
"Alright." Li Wenjian readily agreed, "I won't disturb you anymore."
Having said all that needed to be said, Zhao Heng felt much lighter in her heart and gave Li Wenjian a faint smile, "Thank you for your understanding, Your Highness."
Li Wenjian reassured, "This is my promise. If you need anything, you can always come find me."
Zhao Heng knew she never would. She would never come looking for him again in her lifetime.
"Your Highness, then I will take my leave..."
Li Wenjian glanced at her, noticing she was still wearing his clothes, her slender body under the robe resembling delicate willow leaves.
He stood up and walked out of the warm pavilion.
Seeing him close the door, Zhao Heng slowly untied the belt of the robe.
Taking off his soft and fluffy sleeping robe, she exchanged it for her rough, bleached white clothes.
She felt no trace of nostalgia.
Shortly after, she changed into her clothes and pushed the door open, only to find Li Wenjian standing under the eaves, facing the door with hands behind his back, watching the rain.
Upon hearing the door open, he turned around, holding an umbrella which he then offered to her, saying, "You didn't bring an umbrella when you came."
The spring rain was persistent, falling densely.
Zhao Heng accepted the umbrella graciously, opening it and stepping into the rain curtain.
Li Wenjian watched her silhouette disappear from his sight before entering the warm pavilion.
On the couch lay the old clothes Zhao Heng had just worn, neatly folded with every crease smoothed meticulously. Imagining her folding the clothes so carefully, his gaze softened.
*
That night, Zhao Heng couldn't sleep. Since entering the palace, she had been anticipating this day.
So, now that the day had arrived, she felt a kind of dishonest happiness, tossing and turning unable to sleep, eventually sitting up.
The cool moonlight streamed in through the window, illuminating the umbrella resting on the table. She was momentarily stunned, involuntarily recalling Li Wenjian.
That terrifying nightmare that had haunted her for so long.
Even now, the mere thought of it sent chills down her spine.
In her deepest fears, she would wake in the night, haunted by his crimson eyes.
Why would the usually kind and noble Crown Prince do such a thing to her?
Was it because he had been drinking?
She did smell alcohol on him that day, but it was faint, almost imperceptible.
For a Prince accustomed to attending various banquets, such a small amount of alcohol shouldn't have clouded his judgment.
And why had he shown up in his everyday clothes in the abandoned hall?
And at Yan Shan Ju Residence, why did he summon her quietly for the first time, using a scrutinizing gaze when they first met?
In the few meetings she had with the Crown Prince, he indeed left an impression of kindness and generosity as rumored.
But there were many puzzles about him that she couldn't unravel.
Her instincts told her not to ask or touch upon those puzzles.
The Eastern Palace was the vortex of power in the kingdom; even a tiny splash in the turbulent waters could be catastrophic for her.
Seeking gains and avoiding harms is human nature. Hence, she had told Li Wenjian they should go their separate ways from now on.
Zhao Heng sighed heavily, hoping all her troubles would vanish as she returned home.
Thinking about seeing her grandmother soon filled her with joy, clearing her mind of all idle thoughts.
The next day, she packed her belongings in the room.
While rummaging through boxes, she came across a pine wood box.
Lowering her gaze, she took a deep breath before carefully opening the box.
The room was dimly lit, and Zhao Heng felt a pang of sorrow as she peered into the box.
Inside were items Bai Yu had gifted her over the years - rouge from Yingyuezhai, eyebrow powder from Huachung Pavilion, talismans from Mingyue Temple, a dark green peace buckle...
She didn't care much for adornments, leaving many items untouched.
Everything he had given her was of high quality: the rouge and eyebrow powder were highly sought-after in the capital, and the peace buckle glistened like calm water...
Trembling slightly, she ran her fingertips over these items before focusing on a handkerchief tucked in the corner, inside which was the hairpin he had given her on their last meeting.
The image of the young man appeared in her mind.
He was still looking forward to her return.
She took out the hairpin and decided to keep it as a memento, gently inserting it into her hair.
Then she closed the box and set it aside.
At noon, Lian Zhou and Bing Tao returned, and she told them about leaving the palace the next day.
Upon hearing this, Lian Zhou's eyes immediately welled up with tears. "Why so soon?" she asked.
Zhao Heng explained, "I was rewarded by His Highness for my service at Anguo Duke's Mansion, granting me early departure from the palace."
"Lian Zhou, please don't cry," Zhao Heng said as she watched Lian Zhou's nose twitch, tears pooling in her eyes. She tried to prevent her from crying, gently saying, "I have been in the palace for ten years, leaving now is a good thing, you should be happy for me."
Lian Zhou could only call her, "Sister Zhao Heng."
"This is life, banquets come to an end eventually," Zhao Heng gestured towards two parcels on the table. "Inside are gowns and shoes I never wore, as well as some jewelry of little value. Keep them as mementos."
Lian Zhou tried hard to hold back her tears, her eyes filling up despite her efforts. Tears fell down uncontrollably.
Zhao Heng, unable to do much, smiled helplessly, wiping her tears and telling Bingtao, "Bing Tao, please pack up the items."
Bing Tao felt uncomfortable hearing this, rubbed her reddened eyes, and reached for the parcels.
As her sleeve slipped down, revealing a string of white jade beads on her wrist - each bead perfectly round and uniform, their pale light shimmering softly.
Noticing Zhao Heng's gaze, Bing Tao hurriedly pulled her sleeve back up, placing the parcels back in the cabinet.
"Sister, when will you leave tomorrow? We want to see you off," Bing Tao asked softly.
"I'll probably leave very early; the palace officials will come to fetch me. You don't need to come," Zhao Heng replied.
Lian Zhou couldn't help but sob at her words.
"It's okay, Lian Zhou, please don't cry," Zhao Heng wiped her tears. "There's something else I need you to do for me."
Suppressing her sobs, Lian Zhou asked, "What do you need me to do, Sister Zhao Heng?"
Zhao Heng pointed to a box beside the pillow. "If Bai Yu comes looking for me, please hand him this box."
"Doesn't he know?" Lian Zhou asked in confusion.
Zhao Heng shook her head. "The news of my departure came suddenly, and he went south."
"Sister, do you want to leave a clue for him to find you later?" Bing Tao inquired.
After some thought, Zhao Heng shook her head and lied, "He knows where I live."
Bing Tao nodded firmly. "I'll come find you when I leave the palace too."
With matters in the room settled, she had to go and inform the nursemaid.
After comforting Lian Zhou, Zhao Heng sought out the recently arrived Aunt Liu and informed her of the situation. After offering some customary blessings, Aunt Liu sent her off.
As the palace lanterns were lit one by one, the quiet palace walls surrounded her, and she could only hear her own footsteps.
Beyond the distant halls, the sky was a brilliant orange, casting a dazzling light on the glazed tiles, creating a mesmerizing display.
It was Xuanhe First Year when she entered the palace, and now it was Xuanhe Tenth Year.
Lost in thoughts about how quickly time had passed, a figure suddenly appeared from the corner, startling her and causing her to take a few steps back.
"Don't be afraid, Sister."
It was a young eunuch, who respectfully bowed to her. "Are you Zhao Heng from the Washing Department?"
Zhaoheng clasped her hands tightly together, looking around nervously, feeling a sense of foreboding.
"Who are you?"
"I am Laishan, an errand boy from the East Palace. I was entrusted by Fourth... Bai Yu to look after the house in your absence."
Zhao Heng remembered that Bai Yu had indeed told her before he left, instructing someone to look after her grandmother. She felt a sudden sense of unease. "Why have you come to find me?"
Laishan glanced at her and then knelt down, "The old lady is missing."
"Missing?" Zhao Heng looked at him, her eyes instantly turning red. "What happened?"