Chapter 29.1
Li Wenjian crept to Zhao Heng's bedside, his gaze drawn to her tear-streaked face etched with a deep frown.
Despite the strong facade she presented to the world, here she was, raw and vulnerable, yet she dared having inflicted such a cruel self-sacrifice.
It was a stark contrast to the fragile peson beside her, haunted by nightmares each night, unable to find solace without assistance. Humans, he mused, were a tapestry of contradictions.
He settled onto the chair beside the bed, his eyes lingering on Zhao Heng's trembling form.
Perhaps even she wasn't aware of the heartbreaking symphony of sobs that escaped her lips each night, a stark counterpoint to the resolute exterior she wore by day.
She wouldn't allow herself to cry like this.
Before bringing her back to the Eastern Palace, Li Wenjian never imagined that one day he would sneak into a lady's chamber in the palace like a thief.
Zhao Heng belonged to him now, and he could have rightfully visited the Changqiu Palace.
Not only that, he could ask for more. Many things were his responsibility towards her.
If he told Zhao Heng that he wanted to spend the night at the Changqiu Palace, would she refuse?
She wouldn't.
She would even hide and suppress all her discontent, lowering her head and obeying him as he dressed her.
But was this really what she wanted?
He knew deep down it wasn't.
He knew this wasn't what he desired either.
Intimacy should be explored together with a beloved partner.
He had always upheld his principles and ideals, not giving in to his desires even at the age of seventeen or eighteen when passions ran high. He believed that being responsible meant allowing her to live as she wished, not confining her to the life he wanted to give her.
It was clear that Zhao Heng only saw him as a temporary refuge from the storm.
She had come to him when she had no other choice, and he had sheltered her, treated her well. But she was free, always.
Since they hadn't given their hearts fully, hadn't made a lifelong commitment, a certain distance between them made them more comfortable.
Li Wenjian lifted his hand, as usual reaching to the back of her neck and pressing on the familiar pressure point.
"Your Highness..." Just as he was about to press down, Zhao Heng murmured in her sleep. Li Wenjian's hand paused slightly, as if waiting to hear what she wanted to say next. But she furrowed her brows and eventually remained silent, not saying anything.
"Sweet dreams." With his deep voice, his slender fingers pressed a bit harder.
*
The next day, Zhao Heng woke up very late, almost at lunchtime.
Stretching out a long yawn, she felt a strange sense of contentment in her body, having slept so well. The incense from the prince really worked wonders, the sleepless night felt so blissful.
At the same time, she was grateful that there was no Princess Consort in the Eastern Palace for now. She didn't have to wake up early every day to serve the main mistress or attend to the Crown Prince.
With the doors of the Changqiu Palace closed, she could wake up and do as she pleased, be as free as she wanted to be.
Sometimes, she would wonder about the future - what kind of Princess Consort would the Crown Prince marry?
Where would she fit in?
Was it important to bear a child in the palace to secure her position?
But since the Crown Prince had yet to take a consort, was it wise to have a child out of wedlock?
She immediately halted the chain of thoughts.
What will be, will be in the future. No need to worry ahead of time.
*
Zhao Heng had already finished studying a book called "Shan Weng Yun". When she went to the Chengming Palace to borrow more books, Feiyu was surprised. While others entered the palace to compete for favor and love, she was focused solely on her studies.
He could only silently mock in his heart, and then respectfully went to the study to bring back some enlightenment reading materials.
In a short while, her grandmother's fifty-seventh birthday would be over.
She would soon be going to the academy to continue her studies, and she wanted to learn more characters before then. Princes and princesses in the palace started their education at the age of two or three, and she hadn't learned as many characters as the Eighth Princess yet.
She worried that she wouldn't understand the lessons when she started her education, falling too far behind.
Upon returning to the palace, a palace maid named Chongchun ran over to Zhao Heng with a cheerful smile: "Master Zhaoxun, Miss Ning is in the palace. The Eighth Princess wants to see you in the Pearl Mirror Hall."
Zhao Heng, busy with last-minute preparations before starting her education, hadn't seen Li Nanxi for a few days. After some thought, she asked Lian Zhou to bring the handmade pouch for the two of them and headed to the Pearl Mirror Hall.
Ning Wanzhi was lying on the bed, sighing and looking melancholic. She tried to turn over, but Li Nanxi was blocking her.
She nudged her arm, saying, "Move over."
Li Nanxi shifted, and she repositioned herself to lay face up, the little bells on her hair tinkling, creating a pleasant sound.
Another long sigh escaped her lips.
Li Nanxi said, "Xiao Ning, you've sighed seventy-one times."
Ning Wanzhi turned her body, looking at Li Nanxi with a pained expression, reaching out to pat her head: "I envy you, carefree and unaware of how painful lovesickness can be."
Li Nanxi rose silently, propping her head against the bed, watching as Zhao Heng's graceful figure approached from a distance.
Her steps were elegant, like a unique color in the world.
"Xiao Ning, get up quickly, my sister-in-law is here." Li Nanxi patted her waist.
Ning Wanzhi didn't move, her heart taken away by the arrival of the young nobleman. She couldn't muster interest in anything.
When Zhao Heng entered the room and saw the two figures on the bed tussling with each other, she was surprised.
She had assumed Li Nanxi's good friend was likely a seven or eight-year-old girl, but Ning Wanzhi was already fifteen or sixteen years old. Dressed in red Hu attire, her fair skin, curved eyelashes, and long black hair woven into a thick braid adorned with rows of long gemstone bells that jingled and chimed as she moved.
Ning Wanzhi blinked at her and said, "Wow, Little Xi, your sister-in-law is really beautiful."
Li Nanxi proudly replied, "I didn't lie to you."
Ning Wanzhi nodded vigorously and approached Zhao Heng, observing her carefully from head to toe.
In another person, such behavior might have been deemed impolite. But Ning Wanzhi was so attractive, with her intensely dark and shiny eyes that seemed soaked in water, sparkling. Zhao Heng found her adorable and endearing.
Feeling a bit embarrassed, Zhao Heng took out the pouch she had made for the two of them. It was a children's plaything, and if she had known that Ning Wanzhi had already come of age, she would have prepared something more appropriate like a sachet.
But to her surprise, Ning Wanzhi was thrilled when she saw the little tiger pouch, her beautiful eyes turning crescent-shaped with joy. She immediately gestured to hang it from her waist, exclaiming, "Wow, it's so beautiful."
Zhao Heng's eyes lit up with surprise as she raised her hand and traced her fingers through the disheveled bells behind Ning Wanzhi's ears, straightening them out with a gentle smile. "If you like it, that's all that matters."
"I really like it, Auntie's hands are so skillful." Ning Wanzhi was overjoyed, almost jumping with happiness.
"Auntie?" Zhao Heng blinked in confusion.
"Yes!" Ning Wanzhi took out several beautiful gems from her sleeve, placed them in her pocket, and shook her head by her ear to hear the pleasant sound. She smiled and said, "Yes, according to seniority, you are Young Master Xiao Silang's auntie, so naturally, you are my aunt too."
Zhao Heng didn't say anything, but instead smiled warmly.
Her smile made the strands of hair beside her temples dance lightly, as if they were dancing with the floating dust in the air.
*
Returning to Changqiu Hall, both Lin Mama and Lian Zhou were carrying various items.
Hearing that she was going to the academy to study together, Ning Wanzhi and Li Nanxi turned the storage room upside down, stuffing it with all kinds of things like ink, paper, gold and silver jewelry, rouge sachets... until they couldn't carry anymore.
As they were leaving, Ning Wanzhi muttered, "The Crown Prince is really stingy. Your auntie looks so beautiful, yet he can't even spare some gold and silver jewels to let her dress up."
She casually took a beautiful string of red agate bells from her head and hung it on Zhao Heng's forehead, the pure red agate shining brightly against her fair skin and black hair.
Zhao Heng touched the agate gently, feeling uncomfortable. She didn't want to receive such valuable things for no reason, so she was about to take it off when Ning Wanzhi stopped her, saying, "Don't take it off."
She hesitated before saying, "I still want to ask for your help."
"What help?" Zhao Heng asked, pursing her lips lightly.
Ning Wanzhi held her hands close to her heart, full of hope, "Can you help me embroider a pouch for Xiao Silang?"
Li Nanxi shook her head repeatedly, "Xiao Ning, you're beyond help."
Zhao Heng smiled and said, "People usually embroider pouches for their lovers themselves, why ask someone else for help?"
"How can I do such delicate work? If I give him something I embroidered myself, he will just laugh at me. Your hands are so skillful, you can definitely embroider a beautiful pouch. Help me embroider one, and we won't tell anyone, we'll just say I did it." Ning Wanzhi held onto Zhao Heng's sleeve, speaking in a soft and coquettish tone, "Please, Auntie."
Zhao Heng's heart softened by her persistence and she could only nod in agreement.
Ning Wanzhi was so happy that she almost danced on the spot in excitement.
Walking on the palace road, the agate on Zhao Heng's forehead gently swayed, and the bells on her head rang crisply and melodiously.
Zhao Heng rarely interacted with such innocent and pure women like Ning Wanzhi, her lively and enthusiastic nature was captivating, making Zhao Heng unable to resist smiling.
"Xiao Ning and Xiao Silang's relationship is really good." Zhao Heng sighed.
Ning Wanzhi never hesitated to express her longing for Xiao Silang, and Zhao Heng had heard her talk about it countless times.
However, Lin Mama said, "What's so good about it? Miss Ning is just a hot-headed girl, and what Sir Xiao Lang likes is not the kind of woman Miss Ning is."
Zhao Heng couldn't help but be surprised, "Oh?"
Seeing the youthful look of yearning on Ning Wanzhi's face, she thought that Xiao Silqng and Ning Wanzhi were already engaged.
"Doesn't her family care?" Ning Wanzhi constantly talked about marrying Xiaolong, almost making it common knowledge.
Hasn't anyone in her family restrained her behavior?
"Who cares about that." Lin Mama smiled, "General Ning treats his daughter differently from others, never restricting her nature. Look at her unconventional clothes and jingling accessories, there is no noble lady in the capital dressed like her. This is fine too. The Empress was worried that Ning's daughter didn't understand manners in the past, so she might have a hard time finding a husband in the future. She had General Ning send her to the palace to be educated by the palace maids for a while, to discipline her. But guess what? He said, 'My daughter can live however she wants, if she can't get married, I'll just support her for a lifetime, it's not like I can't afford it.' Everyone says, the Ning family, from the father to the children, none of them are reliable."
Zhao Heng's lips curved up in a smile, it was no wonder Ning Wanzhi was so cheerful and open-minded, with a father like that, why wouldn't she be happy?
"Other noble ladies think Miss Ning is embarrassing herself by being so forward, they have gossiped about her a lot." Lin Mama added.
But Zhao Heng didn't see it that way, she actually thought Miss Ning was very brave.
She probably wouldn't love someone like that in her whole life, being honest and straightforward, telling everyone that no one but him was acceptable...
No, maybe she would never love anyone in her life.
For someone who crawled out of hell, the only person she loved was herself.
*