Chapter 49.1
Li Wenjian was taken aback by her words, then looked at her with confusion, his gaze calm, waiting for her to continue.
"Heâ¦" Zhao Heng looked down, straightened up, and found Li Wenjian staring at her. Unsure of how to proceed, she slowly played with the belt of her nightgown, her voice gradually lowering, "I..."
Zhao Heng pursed her lips, unable to continue for a moment. With a sulky glance at him, she lowered her head again.
"Do I know him?" Li Wenjian asked.
There was a moment of avoidance in Zhao Heng's eyes as she tilted her head, "You might know him, his name is Bai Yu."
Li Wenjian lightly flicked the emerald ring on his finger, pondered for a moment, and said, "Yes, I do know him. He's a handsome eunuch."
Zhao Heng fell silent for a moment, softly responding, her fingers tightly wrapped in the belt of the nightgown, the pressure turning her fingertips a rosy red.
"In the past, when I was at the laundry bureau, he took great care of me." Zhao Heng lowered her eyes, her long lashes casting a shadow.
After a moment's hesitation, she straightened up and looked into his eyes. "I've known him since I returned to the est palace from Jiang Jin's mansion, and it's been five or six years now. I really like him."
Zhao Heng confessed everything in one breath, finally feeling relieved, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her chest.
"Mm," Li Wenjian's face was expressionless. "How much do you like him?" he asked.
Zhao Heng hesitated. How should she answer this question?
Between her and Bai Yu, no words had ever been spoken, all their affection had been silently surging. How could she describe to His Highness the unspoken understanding between them?
"I know I've never been very successful. Before, I just wanted to live out my days in the palace and find a kind and gentle man to live with and take care of my grandmother in her old age." Speaking of these things now, she was much calmer, but her voice still trembled slightly.
She paused and continued, "I used to think that once I left the palace, if he was interested too, I would be willing to spend my life with him."
As soon as she finished speaking, Li Wenjian immediately looked up at her.
Zhao Heng met his cold gaze and was slightly taken aback. She looked at him and suddenly became flustered. "These are all my wishful thinking," she said. "He doesn't know."
"He doesn't know," Li Wenshan repeated her words with a smile.
Zhao Heng looked up at him in surprise, feeling that his meaning of "he doesn't know" was different from hers.
Some things, once said, are said. She pursed her lips. Originally kneeling on the bed, she moved forward on her knees and sat beside him.
She reached out and took his arm, continuing to speak softly, "After I found out about your identity in the Duke's mansion, I... I just let go of those feelings. I originally planned to leave the palace while he was away in the south to cut off all ties. But you know what happened next, I ended up staying in the Eastern Palace by chance."
"You could have kept this a secret, why tell me?" Li Wenjian asked after a moment of silence.
Zhao Heng secretly looked up at Li Wenjian, but met his direct gaze. She didn't look away, her clear eyes meeting his steadily.
"Because there is no such thing as an airtight wall. His Highness will find out about this sooner or later. Rather than letting His Highness hear about it from him, I would rather tell you myself." Saying this, she felt a sense of confidence in her heart. "Just as His Highness said that day, you shouldn't trust what others say. If you have anything to say, you can ask me directly. You are honest with me, and I don't want to hide anything from you either."
By this time, she had unknowingly lost the nervousness and apprehension she had felt earlier.
"You'll tell me everything?" Li Wenjian looked at Zhao Heng, who was sitting on the bed.
Zhao Heng nodded seriously.
Li Wenjian asked, "Have you ever embroidered pouches for him?"
Zhao Heng was taken aback for a moment, then thought about it and said truthfully, "No, I just made him a pair of shoes before he went south."
"Nothing else?"
She nodded seriously and said, "No."
Then, she heard Li Wenjian let out a low chuckle, and before she could react, her face was cupped in his hands as he turned to the side. He had just washed up, and his kiss, with the scent of green salt, fell on her lips with a vengeance.
There was no gentle prelude, just a forceful intrusion that made her lips numb.
A forceful touch originated at the corners of her lips, rippling in concentric circles, gradually washing over her entire body, culminating in a quivering sensation in the soles of her tightly curled feet, before exploding with a gentle yet swift intensity in the depths of her heart.
Zhao Heng tasted the bitter tang of sea salt on his tongue, her eyelashes fluttering as she opened her eyes, struggling to push him away.
Sensing her resistance, Li Wenjian raised his hand and pressed it against her slender neck, like a domineering intruder, heavily bearing down, attempting to pry open her tightly guarded defenses.
After a long while, the Crown Prince released her lips, his long arm sweeping her into his embrace once more. She was enveloped in an immense warmth, Li Wenjian's hand soothingly patting her back. Her chin rested weakly on the nape of his neck, her delicate jade-like profile pressed against his cheek.
Li Wenjian's voice, soft and cold, reached her ears, "Ah Heng, are you truly not afraid of my jealousy?"
Zhao Heng could not see his expression, her eyes downcast, she absorbed the fragrance of orchid and cassia wood emanating from him.
Zhao Heng frowned slightly, her voice soft, "Your Highness, he is an eunuch..."
To be jealous of an eunuch...
"I only know that he is a person, a man," Li Wenjian suppressed the gasps escaping his chest, "A man you once loved."
Despite her timidity and aversion to conflict, she dared to openly admit her affection for him.
Both candid and cruel.
Zhao Heng lowered her gaze, her eyes vacant as she stared at Li Wenjian's long hair cascading down his back under the moonlight, a pang of sadness welling up within her. She slowly closed her eyes, her voice barely a whisper, "It's all in the past, a long, long time ago."
She no longer loved him, and she dared not love him.
As Zhao Heng lay asleep that night, Li Wenjian's eyes, as dark as ink, gazed serenely at her slumbering form. The moon traversed the sky, from east to zenith, and then westward, yet his gaze never wavered from Zhao Heng.
What was she like when Bai Yu first met her?
She was younger then, perhaps more vivacious and prone to laughter; though perhaps she couldn't smile then, having just narrowly escaped Jiang Jin's clutches.
No matter what she was like, he had missed her forever.
In that time, another man had been by her side, warming her, comforting her, caring for her.
He was the marauding conqueror who had brutally torn them apart.
Gradually, the moon gave way to the rising dawn, the candlelight outside the eaves extinguished. Li Wenjian lowered his gaze to her furrowed brow, his thoughts slowly returning.
At least the rest of their lives were long, offering him some solace.
*
In the blink of an eye, the Mid-Autumn Festival arrived, and the palace was adorned with colorful lanterns. A gust of wind swept through, causing the lanterns to sway, their vibrant glow casting a festive atmosphere.
As Zhao Heng and Lian Zhou strolled through the Fangchun Garden, they were suddenly greeted by a burst of laughter. Following the sound, they spotted four or five young palace maids shaking an osmanthus tree, sending a shower of petals fluttering down.
These palace maids were about eleven or twelve years old, similar in age to Zhao Heng when she first entered the palace. Their cheerful faces, bathed in the warm autumn sunlight, were particularly beautiful.
Lost in thought, she couldn't help but reminisce about her childhood days in the village.
Their old home had a towering osmanthus tree, its branches laden with fragrant blooms each year, nestled amidst the dense foliage, their sweet perfume wafting through the air.
As the Mid-Autumn Festival approached, her grandmother would gather the blossoms to make traditional pastries.
Disdaining the flowers that had fallen to the ground, she would always climb the tree trunk, venturing into the canopy to find the most pristine blooms. Her grandmother would always scold her, her face etched with worry, urging her to come down before she fell.
From her perch amidst the lush branches, she would gaze back at her grandmother's concerned eyes.
The joys of those days were so simple and pure.
"My Lady?" Lian Zhou noticed her stillness and gently reminded her.
As Zhao Heng's consciousness returned, a faint smile graced her lips. The children's joyous laughter echoed through the garden, its infectious merriment tugging at the corners of her own mouth.
Shaking off her reverie, Zhao Heng returned a soft smile. The children in the garden continued their merrymaking, their joyous laughter infectious, bringing a smile to her own lips.
"The osmanthus blooms are particularly beautiful this year. Let's gather some to adorn our chambers," she instructed Lian Zhou.
One cannot forever dwell on the past; life must move forward.
Lian Zhou eagerly complied, approaching a group of young girls and requesting a few branches of the fragrant blossoms. They enthusiastically gathered a generous bunch for her.
Upon her return, Lian Zhou's arms were overflowing with osmanthus flowers.
In the twilight of the evening, Ning Wanzhi, her spirits dampened, arrived at Chengming Hall. With a sigh of resignation, she declared to Zhao Heng, "My heart is broken."
Zhao Heng sat by the window ledge, trimming the osmanthus branches that adorned the table.
"Didn't Little Si Lang return? Why are you still suffering from lovesickness?" Zhao Heng inquired, her lips curving into a gentle smile.
Ning Wanzhi delicately rested her chin on her hand, her eyes wide with surprise. "Has he truly returned? I've been visiting his residence daily, yet I haven't seen him. His servants claim he's constantly out and about."
Zhao Heng's hand faltered, the scissors tilting askew, severing a perfectly good branch in half. She set down the scissors and turned to face her, nodding in confirmation. "He has returned. He visited His Highness the night of his arrival."
Ning Wanzhi let out a soft sigh, her energy draining as she slumped against the windowsill. Picking up an osmanthus flower, she brought it to her nose, inhaling its delicate fragrance.
Another long sigh escaped her lips.
Zhao Heng turned sideways, observing Ning Wanzhi with a thoughtful gaze. Indeed, Xiao Ning possessed an exquisitely delicate face and an endearing personality, qualities that even Zhao Heng found charming.
What kind of man could resist such a lovely maiden?
"Aunt, what are you looking at?" Ning Wanzhi inquired.
Zhao Heng smiled sincerely and replied, "Xiao Ning is such a wonderful girl; she will surely find her heart's desire."
Ning Wanzhi blushed self-consciously, chuckling softly. "Aunt is far more beautiful. When you smile at me, the world loses its color; my eyes are filled with nothing but you!"
Zhao Heng playfully flicked her on the nose and whispered, "Tomorrow evening, Little Si Lang will be attending a banquet in the palace."
Ning Wanzhi's eyes lit up, her hands rubbing together excitedly. "I'll be waiting for him at the palace gates tomorrow!"
Zhao Heng found her enthusiasm amusing, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "You endure such hardship for his sake; do you not feel wronged?"
"Why should I feel wronged?" Ning Wanzhi's spirits soared anew. Twirling around the room, her skirts swirling, she declared, "Little Si Lang is the finest man in the world. Besides, the pursuit of one's desires is a beautiful thing in itself."
Zhao Heng blinked, slowly placing the osmanthus branches into a vase. Cupping a broad leaf, she gazed quietly at the young woman's exuberance, a smile gracing her own lips
As the moon casts its silvery glow over the palace grounds, Lin Mama's soft voice breaks the silence, "My Lady, shall I prepare the evening meal?"
Zhao Heng invited Ning Wanzhi to have dinner with her, but she replies, "No need. Father is alone tonight, and I must return to keep him company during this festive occasion. I shall visit you again tomorrow... and Little Silang."
With a gentle grace, she drapes her cloak over her shoulders, secures the ribbons with a practiced touch, and flutters out of the room like a carefree butterfly.
Assuming that Li Wenjian would be spending the Mid-Autumn Festival with the Emperor and Empress in the Central Palace, Zhao Heng instructs the servants to prepare the meal.
The table groans under the weight of a sumptuous feast, fit for a Mid-Autumn celebration. Yet, Zhao Heng finds herself unable to consume the entire spread. With a compassionate heart, she shares a portion with the palace maids on duty and sends another to the Yueli of the Imperial Menagerie.
Just as she settles into her seat, the gentle voices of palace maids echo through the corridor, "Your Highness."
Zhao Heng rises to greet the Crown Prince at the door, her eyes widening in surprise as Li Wenjian strides confidently into the room. He casually tosses his cloak to her, his gaze drawn to the disturbed dishes on the table. "Couldn't wait for me to celebrate?"
Zhao Heng swallows the remaining bite of her mooncake, her voice soft and apologetic, "I presumed you would be dining with the Emperor and Empress, Your Highness."
"They prefer their own company for such occasions," he explains, dismissing the matter with a wave of his hand. A palace maid approaches with a basin of warm water for his ablutions.
After a hasty wash, he takes his seat at the table, announcing, "We've been discussing matters all afternoon, and I'm famished."
Zhao Heng dutifully retrieves his chopsticks and bowl, but upon returning to her seat, she notices Li Wenjian already reaching for a dish with the chopsticks.
It's the very pair she had just used.
"Come, sit down and eat," he beckons her.
Zhao Heng nods obediently and settles into the chair beside him.
With a gentle gesture, Li Wenjian fills a bowl with rich, fragrant milk and slides it towards her. "Drink up," he encourages.
Zhao Heng's eyes curve into a smile as she observes His Highness' ravenous appetite, her own lips taking small sips of the warm milk. Its comforting warmth spreads through her, easing the chill of the night.
As the meal draws to a close, Li Wenjian proposes, "Let's forego the calligraphy practice tonight and take a walk instead."
Zhao Heng, imagining a leisurely stroll through the palace gardens, readily agrees. However, as they prepare to depart, Li Wenjian instructs Lian Zhou to fetch Zhao Heng's cloak. "The wind is strong outside," he explains.
Zhao Heng, believing the stroll would be brief, considers the cloak unnecessary and attempts to decline. But before she can utter a word, Li Wenjian drapes the cloak over her shoulders, his slender fingers deftly tying the ribbons into an elegant bow.
Together, they venture out of the East Palace, their footsteps echoing along the deserted palace corridors and roads. Zhao Heng's legs begin to tire as they continue their trek, only to realize they have reached the Zhengyuan Gate, the main entrance to the palace.
Li Wenjian, without hesitation, heads towards the exit, and Zhaoheng, her heart pounding with confusion, hurries to catch up, her voice barely above a whisper, "Your Highness, are you leaving the palace?"
"Didn't I say we were going for a walk?" Li Wenjian replies, turning to face her.
Only then did a jolt of realization strike Zhao Heng. He wasn't clad in his usual dragon-patterned robes, but in a round-necked brocade one adorned with cloud motifs. His hair, typically unbound, was now elegantly tied high with a jade crown, lending him an air of regal stature.
Confused, he glanced back, already halfway past the palace gate. "Let's go," he called out.
Surprised by his own unfamiliar appearance, Zhao Heng hurried after the figure, instinctively falling half a step behind as they left the palace.
Outside the palace, Jian Ning was waiting with the carriage. Seeing them come out, he immediately jumped off the carriage, took out a small stool, and said, "Master, get in the carriage."
Zhao Heng stepped on the small stool and got into the carriage. There was only a small wall lamp in the carriage emitting a faint light, and Li Wenjian's figure in the carriage was only a vague outline.
"Why did Your Highness think of going out of the palace?"
Li Wenjian sat sideways and smiled, "I came out to inspect the people's sentiments."
"But..." Zhao Heng lifted a corner of the curtain, and outside there were people coming and going, carriages and horses like flowing water: "There are so many people, what if an assassin gets mixed in?"
Li Wenjian smiled faintly, "Eating can also choke you to death, but you can't give up eating because of it."
Seeing Zhao Heng's nervousness, he raised his hand and flicked her forehead: "Don't worry, Jian Ning has made preparations, there are more secret guards on the street than there are people."
Zhao Heng couldn't help but smile, hearing him say that, she actually felt a little more at ease. So she simply rolled up half of the curtain and looked at the scenery outside the window. The fireworks of the world are really reassuring, she watched the endless stream of people, and the corners of her mouth slowly rose.
The carriage stopped after going a long way in the bustling market.
In the sky, sparks were brilliant, and in the world, fireworks were at their peak.
In addition to the fireworks that exploded in the sky from time to time, the colored lanterns hanging everywhere illuminated the entire street as bright as day. The crowd was surging, and the lights were flowing like a sea.
Children were chasing and laughing on the street, running to the candy stall one moment and squeezing into the crowd to watch the juggling the next.
Beside where they parked, a man in exotic clothes was performing fire breathing.
The onlookers cheered and applauded.
Zhao Heng stood outside the crowd, tiptoeing and craning her neck to look inside. Just as the man turned his face towards her and sprayed a ball of fire, she still instinctively took a step back.
She bumped into a chest.
She turned her head and said softly, "Sorry."
Li Wenjian smiled and dusted off the dust on his shoulders, not taking it to heart.
Squeezing out of the fire-breathing stall, Li Wenjian lowered his head to Zhao Heng and said, "There's a candy painting seller over there."
Zhao Heng took a look and saw that the candy painting stall was crowded with children. She whispered, "I'm not a child anymore."
Li Wenjian didn't respond, a smile appeared on his lips involuntarily, he asked Jian Ning for a handful of copper coins, turned his head and asked Zhao Heng, "Which one do you want?"
Zhao Heng and Li Wenjian stroll through a lively market, their eyes drawn to the colorful array of stalls. As they approach a vendor selling sugar paintings, Zhao Heng's gaze is captivated by the delicate artistry of the designs. With a hint of shyness, she points to a lotus flower painting and asks, "May I have this one?"
"Sure." Li Wenjian smiles warmly and hands over a few coins to the vendor, requesting the lotus flower. However, the vendor surprises them by pointing to a wooden spinning wheel, explaining, "Young master, our sugar paintings aren't chosen, they're spun. Whatever you spin to, that's what you get."
A crowd of children gathers around, their eyes wide with anticipation. They've just spent their allowance on other treats and are now watching the spectacle with amusement.
Li Wenjian hands over more coins to the vendor and encourages Zhao Heng, "Let's see your luck!"
Zhao Heng takes a deep breath and spins the wheel. The pointer whirls rapidly before settling on a section adorned with a majestic dragon. Gasps and exclamations erupt from the onlookers, as the dragon motif is the largest and most challenging to obtain.
Just as Zhao Heng prepares to collect her prize, Li Wenjian interrupts, paying the vendor once more. "Didn't you want the lotus flower?" he asks gently.
Zhao Heng nods and spins again, but this time, her luck isn't as favorable. Undeterred, Li Wenjian patiently continues to pay for each unsuccessful spin.
Unfortunately, Zhao Heng's luck seems to have deserted her, as she fails to spin the lotus flower even after ten attempts. The children's initial admiration gradually shifts into mockery, with one small boy whispering to his friend, "This sister is so unlucky!"
Overhearing the boy's remark, Zhao Heng feels a pang of embarrassment. She tugs on Li Wenjian's sleeve, pleading, "Please, let's just go. I'm fine with these other ones."
She gestures towards the pile of sugar paintings they've accumulated, a forced smile masking her disappointment.
Li Wenjian, ever the gentleman, insists on trying his hand at spinning the wheel for her. He clears a space, crouches beside her, and gives the wheel a spin.
The crowd watches with bated breath, but the outcome is no better â the pointer lands on a different design once again. The children's laughter echoes through the air, their amusement reaching a crescendo.
Zhao Heng glances at Li Wenjian's sheepish expression and finds it impossible to suppress her own laughter. She tries to apologize, but the corners of her mouth keep twitching upwards.
"Never mind, never mind," the vendor chuckled, unable to resist. He quickly removed the lotus candy painting and offered it to Zhao Heng.
Li Wenjian straightened his robes, a hint of amusement playing on his lips.
Zhao Heng, unable to contain his laughter, distributed the remaining candy paintings to the gathered children. They beamed their thanks and vanished quickly into the crowd, clutching their sugary treasures.
"Enjoying my humiliation, are you?" Li Wenjian turned to Zhao Heng with a playful glint in his eyes.
Zhao Heng tries to stifle her laughter, but it's no use. She can't help but grin and offer a half-hearted apology, "Sorry."
To lighten the mood, she takes a bite of the lotus flower candy, the sweetness melting on her tongue. "It's delicious," she exclaims, genuinely savoring the flavor.
Li Wenjian asks, "Do you like it?"
Zhao Heng nods enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling with delight.
In an instant, Li Wenjian lowered his head and took a bite from the spot where she had bitten earlier, commenting, "Hmm, it's quite sweet."
Zhao Heng lowered her head, looking at the missing flower petal on the sugar painting, and thought to herself, "His Highness is becoming increasingly... uninhibited."