Chapter 68
Meizhou is close to the border, with a civilized and liberal society. People there do not rely on marriage certificates to maintain their relationships. If a couple loves each other, they will stay together for a lifetime. If the love fades, they part amicably.
Ning Wanzhi grew up in Meizhou, influenced by the local customs. With her father having four sons and only one daughter, she was raised like a boy, often taken to the military camp to toughen up, making her spirited and adventurous, unafraid to get her hands dirty.
While noble ladies in the capital city were kept in seclusion, rarely seen in public, she rode alongside her father as they entered the city. Sitting on horseback, she waved to the people lining the streets, but she could hear whispers in the crowd about her being "uncultured" and "lacking manners."
She didn't belong to the capital city, and she didn't love it either. She only loved An Xuzhi, the young master from the An family in the capital, whom she traveled far to marry.
She mimicked the noble ladies of the capital, wearing wide-sleeved long dresses and embroidered shoes, pretending to be a lady in front of him.
Her embroidery skills were lacking, but she spent hours making ugly items for him.
An Xuzhi excelled in his studies, and to get closer to him, she tirelessly studied ancient classics day and night, just so she would have something to talk to him about.
In order to please his mother and grandmother, she even attended tea parties with noble ladies from the capital, enduring their snide remarks when she couldn't appreciate the finer teas.
When she stumbled and almost fell, Xiao Silang told her that she looked beautiful even in casual attire, and he preserved all her poorly embroidered items without discarding them.
He told her that reading was about enriching knowledge, and she could share her experiences from her travels rather than forcing herself to read books.
He would always protect her with restraint and propriety. She knew he was too good for her, but she never dared to shatter the illusion, living in a pretense of bliss. Until one day outside the palace gates, she found out about his feelings for someone else, and her heart broke.
The perfect Xiao Silang, the one she had longed for but could never have.
Now, standing in the silent mountain forest, she was being asked to marry him.
The moment she had yearned for many years suddenly arrived, but instead of joy, she felt a sense of unease.
After a long silence, Ning Wanzhi looked up at An Xuzhi and hesitantly asked, "Do you like me now?"
An Xuzhi met her gaze, a fleeting avoidance in his eyes before he replied, "I will be very good to you."
That meant he didn't like her, Ning Wanzhi thought.
"What about the person you love? Do you no longer care for her?" she asked, her eyes searching his.
An Xuzhi hesitated, then said, "I no longer feel anything for her."
That meant he hadn't let go yet.
Ning Wanzhi sighed deeply, her beautiful amber eyes blinking softly, the slender girl standing in the forest like a graceful crane.
"I can't marry you," Ning Wanzhi said firmly.
She questioned him further, "Are you thinking of marrying me out of guilt for what happened at the Marquis Xie residence?"
An Xuzhi lowered his eyes, recalling the gossip he heard while walking down the long street and rumors spreading in the teahouse.
The malicious rumors tarnishing Ning Wanzhi's reputation and casting doubt upon her virtue were like invisible daggers, piercing him to the core. A woman's reputation was crucial, and seeing Ning Wanzhi's honor tainted in order to save him, grieved him deeply.
"Are you seeking to marry me out of obligation?" Ning Wanzhi's voice was calm, "Wouldn't that make me a pawn in your guilt-ridden game?"
"No," An Xuzhi looked into her amber eyes, "I do this willingly."
"But that's not acceptable," Ning Wanzhi shook her head, "It's hard to marry someone who doesn't love you, Xiao Silang."
Raising her gaze, she met An Xu Zhi's eyes and declared, "I refuse to be bound by a marriage of obligation and guilt, nor do I wish to be the villain who separates you from the one you love. Even if it wasn't you that day, I would have acted the same way. Besides, we agreed to be friends, and isn't it a friend's duty to stand by their side through thick and thin?"
"I know there are many people talking behind my back right now. You... don't take it to heart. I don't care what they say. Let them talk if they want, it's not like their words can hurt me. Besides, I'm leaving for Meizhou soon, and the men there don't care about such gossip. I'll be fine!"
An Xuzhi listened silently as she spoke, his brow furrowing even deeper.
"But..."
"No buts." Ning Wanzhi suddenly whipped out the nine-section whip from her waist and swung it towards his face. The long whip swept past An Xuzhi's cheek, leaving a burning sensation.
He instinctively raised his hand to touch it, his fingers brushing against a few drops of blood. An Xuzhi, perhaps caught off guard by Ning Wanzhi's sudden attack, looked up into her slightly flustered face.
Ning Wanzhi held the whip, wrinkling her nose slightly, "Don't you feel indebted to me? By shedding blood as repayment, you won't owe me anything in the future."
An Xuzhi suddenly fell silent, allowing the blood from his cheek to drip onto his pale white garment.
She glanced at him for a moment, then said, "Your silence implies consent."
"Mm," he barely turned his head, raising his eyes lightly.
Ning Wanzhi suddenly felt melancholic. She lowered her head, not looking at him anymore, and softly said, "Xiao Silang, may you find happiness in the future."
*
"Are you serious?"
Li Nanxi sat in the carriage, stunned by Ning Wanzhi's words.
"Yes."
The handheld stove she cradled rolled down her lap, making a clattering noise inside the carriage.
"I told him not to always remember that I saved him, and I don't want him to remember my favor. I don't want love born from pity and charity," Ning Wanzhi grabbed a fragrant melon from a small tray and forcefully split it in half, handing one piece to Li Nanxi.
"Are you out of your mind?" Xiao Ba held the half melon, taking a bewildered bite and saying, "That's Xiao Silang, don't you like him?"
"I do like him. It's precisely because I like him so much that I don't want to burden our relationship with unnecessary complications," Ning Wanzhi said nonchalantly as she devoured the melon. "Besides, with my current bad reputation, even if he agrees, what would our elders say? The patriarch is already so old; if anything goes wrong, I'll be the villain of the An family."
Zhao Heng's brow twitched as she watched Ning Wanzhi nearly finish the melon in just two bites. She said, "If you're upset, you can come here, and I'll give you a hug."
Ning Wanzhi pouted, wiped her hands on her skirt, then obediently leaned on Zhao Heng's shoulder.
"Will you regret it?" Zhao Heng embraced her, patting her shoulder.
Ning Wanzhi burst into tears, mumbling through her sobs, "A little bit..."
Why was she so stubborn? She should have just agreed, deceived him first, and then figured things out later.
Xiao Ba looked at Ning Wanzhi and then at Zhao Heng, furrowing her brows in confusion.
*
As the sun set, in the study of the Xie residence, Marquis Xie frowned and looked at the man in front of him.
"We can always find a way to earn money if we lose it, but if we lose our lives, we lose everything," after much contemplation, Marquis Xie decided to dispose of the hundreds of barbarian slaves in the Xi Garden.
"With the current situation, it's impossible to smuggle people from the west, so it's a waste to kill them all...," Ren Zhongchun furrowed his brow, suggesting, "Why not contact that person again and sell these barbarian slaves to him at a discount?"
Marquis Xie also wanted to make more money from them, but with the concubine in the palace pressuring him, constantly urging him to resolve the Xi Garden issue quickly, he hesitated to defy their wishes even though he was the elder brother.
"Forget it, that person comes and goes without a trace, doing business without leaving a real name, who knows what's behind it," Marquis Xie made a firm decision, "This matter must not be discussed further. Within three days, it must be resolved cleanly, not a single one left alive."
Ren Zhongchun drew in a sharp breath, "Brother-in-law, there are hundreds of people, and the blades would be worn out from all the chopping. It's not easy to handle them like that."
"Even if it's difficult, it must be done!" Marquis Xie called out, "Xilin."
From a dark corner emerged a man holding a sword, the brim of his hat covering most of his somber face. "My Lors," he greeted.
"My most trusted blade, you may borrow it for a few days," Marquis Xie said.
Ren Zhongchun, seeing his resolute expression, didn't say anything further and left the study with Xilin.
"This brother-in-law of mine is becoming more and more timid. In the past, people have checked the Xi Garden multiple times, and it's always been baseless rumors," Ren Zhongchun scoffed, not caring that Xilin was present, and continued, "Isn't that so?"
Xilin's gloomy face remained expressionless.
Thinking that Xilin was a dullard, he found it uninteresting and stopped talking, crossing his arms behind his back as he walked out.
*
A rain shower in the evening cleansed the cold courtyard. Zhao Heng sat on the veranda for a long time.
In the twilight, as Fei Yu prepared charcoal in the study, the swift wind bird perched on the eaves. Suddenly feeling warmth on her back, she turned to see Li Wenjian draping her cloak over her.
"What are you looking at?" Li Wenjian hugged her from behind, asking gently.
Zhao Heng held his hand, wrapping the cloak around her chest, turned her head, and whispered, "Come see."
As the study door opened and closed, Fei Yu walked out, and the bird that originally perched on the eaves followed, fluttering its wings.
"It's been following Fei Yu."
"It came for me," Li Wenjian said.
Zhao Heng lowered her eyelids, turned her head and asked him, "Do you want me to knock it down?"
"No need," Li Wenjian took her hand and led her into the study.
The silvery moon shone outside, and the room was illuminated by a silver thread charcoal fire, warm like spring.
"Sit," Li Wenjian pressed her shoulder to sit at the desk. He spread out her paper and pen, and casually said, "You haven't finished reading today's book."
Zhao Heng opened her mouth, seeing that he didn't want to discuss it further, obediently sat behind the desk and started reading.
The more she read, the more she felt it wasn't enough. Li Wenjian didn't restrict her reading choices; he offered a variety of books, from challenging historical texts one moment to travelogues the next.
Currently, she was reading a book about agricultural timing.
As time passed, she didn't notice the passage of time initially when she was focused, but after a while, fatigue set in. Glancing aside, she noticed that Li Wenjian, who should have been reviewing official documents seriously, was periodically looking up at her.
She initially thought it was her imagination and turned to look with a book covering her face, only to meet his direct gaze.
In that brief moment of eye contact, she averted her eyes as if feeling guilty.
Li Wenjian couldn't help but find it amusing, sitting upright, he said, "If you want to look, look openly. Why sneak around?"
Upon hearing this, Zhao Heng thought this person was really good at turning the tables, murmuring, "Clearly, you were the one who looked at me first."
Li Wenjian chuckled again, his voice clear, and extended his hand to her, "Ah Heng, come over here."
She stood up and walked to his side as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close to him without any extra movements, simply pointing to the painting on the desk, saying, "Look."
Zhao Heng looked at the desk and saw that tonight, Li Wenjian was not reviewing official documents; he was painting.
The painting depicted a slender figure, sitting serenely behind the desk with a book in hand. Behind her was a fragrant yellow rosewood desk, with incense curling up in wisps. The beauty was reading with a dignified and graceful posture.
Zhao Heng smiled and turned her head to gaze at him, "Why did you suddenly paint me?"
"It looks good," Li Wenjian said, brushing his finger over her cheek.
Zhao Heng reached to lift the paper off the desk, but Li Wenjian held her, not letting go, pulling her back into his arms.
Her face pressed against his chest, she could hear the strong heartbeat inside.
"Not for you," Li Wenjian said.
Zhao Heng pursed her lips, frowned slightly, and asked in return, "Then who is it for?"
Li Wenjian gazed at her, and after a while, he said, "It's for my grandmother. She has always been the one who loved me the most since I was a child. In a few days, it will be her birthday, and I plan to burn this painting for her."
Upon hearing this, Zhao Heng's eyes slightly teared up. She hugged him quietly, staring at the painting for a while, furrowing her brows and jokingly said, "Why didn't you remind me? Look, I'm not sitting properly, and my back looks hunched. When she sees it, she might think you chose a hunched back by mistake."
"It's okay. My grandmother is a very gracious person. She will like it even if it's hunched," Li Wenjian replied.
Zhao Heng untangled his hand, walked to the desk, moved her portrait aside, looked back at him, dipped the brush in ink and started painting on the paper.
With a few strokes, Li Wenjian's rough outline appeared on the paper. However, her drawing skills were sloppy, and while the figure looked somewhat like him, none of the facial features resembled him.
"My grandmother is also a kind person. Even if you had a crooked nose and a skewed eye, she wouldn't mind," she said with a light chuckle.
Li Wenjian laughed softly, "Show this drawing to my grandmother, and she might end up mistaking someone else afterward."
Zhao Heng turned to him, straightened up slowly, tilted her face up, lightly leaned in, and planted a gentle, feather-light kiss on his thin lips, saying, "After the winter hunt, shall we go visit my grandmother together?"
Li Wenjian felt a tightness in his heart.
"I want her to bless you. She may not be able to ensure world peace and prosperity, but I hope she can bless you with good health and smooth sailing. I don't have your painting skills, unable to capture your outstanding features. I'm afraid she might truly mistake someone for you and bless the wrong person. Will you accompany me, is that okay?"
A tinge of moisture swirled in her eyes, adding a layer of damp mist.
With Zhao Heng's gentle words, Li Wenjian felt a surge of guilt rising like lava in his heart. Her grandmother had lost her husband and son at a young age and had suffered for many years. Soon, Zhao Heng would be able to leave the palace and reunite with her, but she had experienced such a tragic death because of him.
Li Wenjian never dared to think of that scene.
Sensing his low spirits, Zhao Heng felt that he was too self-afflicted. He always found fault within himself, always filled with guilt.
But it wasn't his fault at all.
She wouldn't let the instigator return from the winter hunt alive.
Zhao Heng quietly rested on his shoulder. Unable to hold back, her eyelashes trembled slightly, and she held his face, gently kissing the corner of his eyebrow.
"Grandma will surely like you," she said, a smile tugging at her lips, looking at him earnestly, "Just like how I like you."
Outside the window, the few remaining tree leaves swayed gently between the cold wind and moonlight, and the last leaves fell off the branches, swirling in the wind before softly landing on the ground.
âââ
The author's note:
Xiao Ning: I hate it, I hate it. If the opportunity presents itself, one should seize it. Why am I so foolish!