So I've never caught a live grenade
with my bare hands.
So I don't know exactly how it feels,
but I imagine it's a lot like getting a text
that says, "Hey, we really need to talk."
The last time I received one of these
messages, I called immediately
and she said,
"I'm going into labor."
My initial thought was,
I don't know much about unions,
but that seems like a good idea.
Before I couldn't actually say that,
she continues with,
"I know I should've told you sooner
...we're having a baby.
Can you come to the hospital?"
And this is how I found out
I was becoming a father.
Most men have nine months to get ready
for something like this, but I had
about nine hours.
I tried to smile in my first family photo,
but complete shock was still the only
outfit my face could squeeze into.
After the picture was taken. I looked down
at my little girl and I said,
"Welcome to the family. Wow.
You sure know how to make an entrance."