Chapter 114: Rising Jealousy

“Is there space for another?”

Maya tilted her head back, her gaze meeting Julian’s as he sauntered towards her, hands buried in his pockets. She held his gaze for a moment before straightening up. “Feel free,” she responded, lifting her warm, aromatic coffee mug to her lips.

~She hadn’t slept a wink.~

He shuffled his feet across the porch before settling down beside her on the first wooden step. He slumped next to her, his gaze wandering towards the forest ahead. Julian leaned back on his arms, his shoulders relaxed.

“Worried I might pounce on you again?”

She let out a soft laugh. “Afraid of you?” Another sip of her coffee. “Don’t be ridiculous. I can handle you. You should remember that.”

“Duly noted.”

“You were a nuisance though. Tossing and turning. Then, when you finally dozed off, I couldn’t sleep because… you ~snore~.”

“I don’t snore.”

“Like you would know, Mr. I-can’t-remember-my-own-name.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Not a chance.” She placed her dark blue mug beside her and clapped her hands on her thighs. “So, are you going to behave long enough for us to discuss your escapade with Alex and whatever the hell caused your panic last night?”

Every time he had stirred last night, she had been jolted awake. Not out of fear, but because she thought she might need to restrain him. She had managed to fend off Alex once, but she wasn’t sure she could do it again.

“It’s fine.”

Maya rolled her eyes; he was such a stubborn ass. “Okay,” she said, sliding closer to him. “Can we get one thing straight?”

He nodded.

“I don’t need help, I’m not traumatized, and you don’t need to look like a kicked puppy, okay?” She threw her hands up. “Now that I know you’re a sleep psycho, I’ll keep one eye open at night. If you mistake me for a hunter again, I’ll kick you in the balls until you’re crying like a baby.”

“Good to know.”

“So, want to talk about it?”

“About what?”

“Everything. The wild goose chase with Alex. The nightmare. It’s not like anyone else here is putting up with you.”

She could ask Alex, but she didn’t feel like it. Most of what he would say would be biased against Julian, and that wasn’t what she wanted. Besides, Julian had kept her up all night, worrying about this.

Whatever it was, it must have been bad enough that he thought he had to strangle ~whoever~ he mistook her for. Was she surprised? ~No~. They had found him half-dead, surrounded by bodies. She tried not to dwell on it.

“We went back to the… place we found. One of the smells seemed familiar… we followed it and it led to a dead end. That’s all.”

“Familiar in a good way, or bad?”

“I don’t know. I recognized it, that’s all.”

“Okay, and the big meltdown last night?”

“It wasn’t a meltdown.”

“My neck would beg to differ.”

A flicker of regret flashed in his eyes and she felt a ~twinge~ of guilt. “Don’t worry, you’re kind of weak, so. No marks,” she added, tugging at the collar of her shirt to reveal her unblemished neck. ~She had checked in the morning~.

“I really don’t know what it was,” he replied, resting his elbows on his knees. “Parts of it felt strange, maybe a nightmare, but some of it…”

“Felt familiar?”

“Can I say that even though I don’t remember anything?”

She chuckled. “Sure.”

“Yeah, well, it felt familiar enough. I don’t think dreams are supposed to have smells and sensations like that. It was too real.”

“Okay, so what happened in this nightmare?”

She watched him swallow, his throat bobbing. ~Oh boy~. Nothing good, that was for sure.

“I think—I’m not sure. I was watching someone—some people… being killed. Murdered.”

"By who?"

“I don’t know.”

His response had a certain aridity that made her suspect he wasn’t being entirely honest. Maybe he couldn’t recall the details, or perhaps they were too painful to share. ~Or he just doesn’t trust you~.

She wasn’t exactly brimming with trust for him either.

Granted, he had attempted to strangle her, so he should be the one trying to ~resolve~ whatever was going on, rather than brushing it under the rug or bottling it up.

“That’s all? Nothing more?”

“Nothing.”

“You know,” she said, playfully jabbing a finger at him. “Bottling up isn’t healthy.”

She wasn’t exactly a pro at this. Sure, she could vent with Liv over a bottle of wine. Listen to her woes and romantic escapades—but she was inebriated. And there was nothing on the line. Those two idiots eventually figured things out. ~With a little nudge~. But they did.

This was different.

“You think you’re the pack’s therapist?”

“God, no. If anything, ~I~ need a therapist." She scowled. "Not that I fancy spilling my deepest secrets to some bespectacled stranger on an ugly brown couch."

“So what’s your role here?”

“My role?”

“Yeah, there’s the medic. I’ve seen a few on patrol—always the same faces. What’s your job here?”

Why this sudden obsession with labels? ~She was his caretaker~. That was a job in itself. ~Oh~ and now she had to play peacekeeper between two hot-headed Alphas. She had her plate full.

“I-I’m filling in for Olivia. She started this patrol thing, then got pregnant. So I stepped in.”

“She had her baby, didn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“She hasn’t resumed her duties?”

“No, not yet.” ~Much to Maya’s dismay.~

“I see.”

“I see? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. If you miss it, I can accompany you. I’ll behave,” he said, winking at her.

~Sure you will~. She’d need a leash to keep him in check. ~Maybe even handcuffs~. No—she wasn’t going there. ~Well. ~Not just yet. “No, thanks. I’m enjoying the break.”

“So you don’t like it?”

“It’s not really ~my~ cup of tea.”

“So what is?”

“You know, I think we’re supposed to be discussing your hidden demons. Not mine.”

“Want to know what I think?”

He was evading. Instead of confronting his issues, he was trying to shift the focus onto her. The problem was, she couldn’t tell if he was doing it because he wanted to avoid the subject, or because whatever it was stirring within him—~it was terrifying him~.

“You’re going to tell me anyway. So go ahead.”

He laughed. “I think you’re unhappy.”

She laughed heartily. “That’s rich. Unhappy, am I?”

“You seem discontent.”

“Really? And you deduced that in the ~extensive period~ you’ve known me?”

"I was just making an observation. All your friends are inside, having breakfast together. You're out here alone."

She was exhausted and irritable—she didn’t want to be around noisy people. “Yeah, some jerk kept me awake all night. I need my coffee before I can handle social niceties.”

“So I’m the cause of your misery?”

Why did he have to probe so much? Couldn’t he just let things be? Even he must realize that this situation was a clusterfuck. Every day added a new layer of complexity. The nightmares were a new addition, and already a nuisance, but…

If it meant he was regaining his memory, she could tolerate a few nocturnal tussles.

“It’s complicated.”

“I’m complicated or you’re complicated?”

“~You,” she retorted, throwing her hands up. “You’re the problem. This isn’t supposed to be difficult. It’s not supposed to be complicated. ~You find your damn mate~, you fuck ‘em, you mate, you move on with your life.”~

“So why are you complicating it?”

What was her next move? Pounce on him and hope for the best? She was usually spontaneous, but this was a lifelong commitment.

“How am I the one complicating things? You’re the one who can’t remember a thing. You’re the one who doesn’t know his own identity.”

“Is that the only reason?”

She bit the inside of her cheek. “Why do you care about my actions? Do you think you have your life all figured out? You can’t even recall your own life. For all we know, you could have been a pathetic, half-assed Alpha who got what was coming to him.”