Chapter 138: Between Two Alphas

“Wait, the hunter’s a werewolf?” Alex questioned.

“That’s a possibility,” Maya countered, glancing at Olivia and Julian for some backup.

“Could be,” Olivia added.

“I think—”

“Nope,” Maya cut Julian off. “Your opinion isn’t needed, thanks.”

Alex’s left eyebrow arched. “Seems like the mating’s going well.”

“You don’t get to comment on matings, buddy,” she cautioned, pointing a finger at him. “Can we return to discussing my brilliance?”

“I don’t recall anyone mentioning that,” Alex retorted, suppressing a chuckle.

“The point is, we should strike when he’s vulnerable.”

“Maya, we don’t have confirmation that he’s a werewolf, okay? What we do know is that waiting for the full moon puts us in danger,” Alex reasoned.

“He’s baiting Julian. He wants him to react prematurely!”

“Or he’s just a lunatic trying to draw him out. If he was a werewolf, wouldn’t your mate have taken him out already?”

“Not if he was avoiding him, or if he was safeguarding his pack. It’s not that simple one on one.”

“He would be if he was a true alpha.”

The growl that echoed from behind Maya made her tense up. ~This isn’t good~.

His fury was so palpable she could almost feel it pulsating through her. ~Shit~.

~She didn’t need this~.

“~Alex~. You’ve messed up in the past too.”

Maya didn’t want to dredge up this crap, mainly because Olivia didn’t need to relive the trauma, and also because everyone had moved past it.

~But~ if she had to use it to get Alex to cool off… Well, she would.

“Maya…”

The low warning came from Julian. Maya took the risk of stepping between the two Alphas, creating a gap between them.

Julian~ should~ back off, given that it was her, and Alex should do the same because—well, likely because Olivia was present.

~She hoped so, at least~.

It was odd because she could sense Alex’s glare, but it didn’t penetrate her the way it used to.

Was it the current tense situation, or was it the mark her alpha mate had left on her neck?

Alex was essentially the only alpha she’d known. She had encountered a few…but not like this, not like it was with Julian.

~Is this what it feels like to be torn between two sides?~

She’d thought she’d heed Alex…well, ~heed and dispute~…but now she wasn’t so certain.

“Listen, all I’m suggesting is to wait it out. Unless you have a superior plan? Oh wait, you did. Your plan was to get my ~mate~ killed by going along with his foolish idea,” she stated, her upper lip curling.

“So now that you won’t do that because as the ~alpha~ of the pack, you wouldn’t kill a pack member’s mate…”

She saw it on his face. It was fleeting, of course—a spark of anger at the blow to his ego. ~But he knew she was right~.

They ~both~ knew this meant Maya and Julian would have to leave. If they survived this, they would have to leave.

But she would deal with that later. ~Not now~.

“So, unless you have another suggestion, I think we should ~try~ to see if I’m correct. Between waiting and dying…and look…” She cleared her throat. “If I’m wrong, I’ll go out there myself.”

“Have you lost your mind?”

Maya half-expected Alex to be the one to intervene, but she was mistaken: it was Julian.

His fingers were gripping her arm, holding on tightly enough that she wouldn’t be surprised to find red marks later.

~Was she crazy?~

~Perhaps~.

Despite knowing it was futile, Maya attempted to pull her arm free. All it did was make Julian grip a little tighter. ~Yeah, she’d seen that coming~.

“So, you can decide to sacrifice yourself and ~not~ inform me, but I can’t? At least I’m giving you a heads-up,” Maya protested.

“~Maya~…”

“~Julian~,” she echoed, mimicking his tone.

“You don’t get it.”

“You’re right. I don’t get it, but you know what? I’m not trying to get it right now. I’m trying to get you guys to ~hear~ my idea.”

“I’m with Maya,” Olivia chimed in.

~Finally, someone with a brain~.

“See,” Maya said, gesturing towards her friend. “Your mate agrees with me, Alex. You’re outvoted.”

“I can do my own thing.”

“Can you, really?” Maya questioned, her head cocked to the side.

“~Okay~,” Olivia stepped in, positioning herself in front of Alex. “Listen. I don’t like the idea of ~anyone~ dying, either. So why not consider Maya’s suggestion?

“It’s not like we had a grand plan, or anything. We don’t. There are a lot of lives hanging in the balance,” she noted, turning to look at Alex.

“Including our son’s. So if there’s a ~better~ way to do this, we should explore it.”

“Alright,” Alex conceded, folding his arms. “But why don’t you try knocking some sense into your boyfriend? Maybe ~that~ would help. If he could remember, then we would know.”

“I don’t think he’s purposely trying to ~not~ remember.”

“Isn’t he, though?”

“Enough,” Maya snapped, stepping back until she bumped into Julian. “Liv, take your alpha and go to bed. I’ll handle mine.”

Olivia gave her a small nod before pulling a reluctant Alex away from Julian and Maya. ~At least someone was thinking straight~. And it wasn’t the ~men~.

She had hoped they might despise each other a little less. But it seemed they had simply agreed on the ~oh-well-if-Julian-dies~ plan.

Which made sense, but she wasn’t exactly thrilled about that…

“So, are you gonna release me, or am I gonna have to fight my way out?” Maya asked, turning to face Julian.

She ignored the way her skin tingled under his touch and instead forced a fake smile onto her face.

She was surprised there was no confrontation between Julian and Alex, but she guessed it could be chalked up to their recent mating.

~Something they hadn’t really discussed~.

Maya wasn’t one to ~dodge~ things. She was pretty direct.

This? She kind of felt like dodging it.

“Are we gonna talk?”

Maya laughed. “Are we talking now? Is that what this is? My mistake. I thought we were brainstorming dumb plans and just going with it. ~Or was I mistaken~?”

“You don’t get it,” he argued, his grip finally loosening. She seized the chance to pull her arm free.

“You’re right. I don’t get it. So, ~talk~.” She folded her arms, waiting for him to say ~something. Anything~.

Up until now, Maya hadn’t known what she imagined her ~mating~ to be like. Before him, after meeting him… it was all a haze of uncertainties.

She had known she didn’t want to find a mate with freaking amnesia but… beyond that? Who knew?

But now she knew.

“What? Got nothing to say? You had plenty to say to Alex,” she provoked, goading him.

“Maya. It was simpler before. I was trying to keep you safe.”

“I swear to god,” she cursed, throwing her hands in the air. “This is the problem with Alphas. You think you have to protect everyone, but I didn’t ask for ~anything~.

“I didn’t ask for your help, I didn’t ask you to keep me safe. You might think I need help, but I’m a grown-ass woman and I can take care of myself. If I want to get hurt, I’ll get hurt. I can handle it.”

It wasn’t that Maya didn’t have feelings. ~She did~.

If he died, she would mourn. Even more so now. Even now, the thought of his death had her wolf whimpering in agony.

“The dumbest part of all this?” she asked, clearing her throat to hide the way her voice was breaking.

“If you had talked to me and told me what ~you~ wanted, instead of trying to force it on me…maybe I would have let you.”

~Was that the truth?~ She might have slapped him and labeled him a fool. But she wasn’t the one pulling his strings. He was his own man, free to make his own choices.

Maya wasn’t always certain about her own desires or the right course of action. If he was, good for him. If he chose to risk his life for a cause he believed in, then so be it.

But they should have talked about it, and they hadn’t.

“Maya, you wouldn’t have agreed, even if I had discussed it with you.”

“Well, we’ll never know, will we? Because you didn’t say a ~word~, you stubborn, arrogant Alpha.”

“You didn’t consult me before you bit me.”

“You didn’t have to bite back.”

“Are you sure?” he questioned, stepping closer, his larger body casting a shadow over her.

Instinctively, she tensed up, wanting to retreat, but she held her ground. “Yes, you didn’t. We could have had an incomplete bond.”

“That night,” he murmured.

“What night?” ~He wasn’t making any sense~.

“The first night I had you. I should have done it then, but I didn’t. We both knew I wouldn’t be able to resist you a second time.”

“That’s on you, not me.”

“You’re right. But I—you saw me when I remembered my sister. I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t know how you’d react.”

Maya’s eyes narrowed as she absorbed Julian’s words, a cocktail of anger and confusion coursing through her.

Her heart hammered in her chest, her defenses crumbling under the weight of his confession.

Her voice quivered as she retorted, her fury tinged with vulnerability.

“So now it’s my fault? You’re blaming me for your decisions?” Maya’s hands balled into fists, her small frame shaking with emotion.

His accusation stung, slicing through her like a shard of glass. If he wanted to wallow in his own trauma, fine. But it was his damn mess to clean up.

Julian’s face softened, a flicker of regret in his eyes. He moved closer, his voice laced with remorse.

“No, Maya, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m not blaming you. I’m just... I’m trying to explain.”

“Explain what? That you decided I couldn’t handle it? That I didn’t deserve a fucking discussion?” Her voice broke, tears welling up in her eyes.

She fought to keep her composure, her anger churning within her.

He extended his hand, hovering uncertainly between them, as if he wasn’t sure whether to touch her or not.

“I thought I was protecting you. Protecting us. I can’t even remember my entire family and... the pain... it was too much.”

Her voice trembled, filled with a blend of pain and longing. “Julian, you can’t shield me from everything.

“I’m not your sister, and I don’t want to be caged or live in a bubble created by someone else.” She moistened her lips. “Mates are supposed to support each other, not do whatever this is.”

~Damn it~. She didn’t want to rely on anyone. She didn’t want her mate to be her entire world.

Now he was forcing her into a conversation they shouldn’t even be having. ~But she’d see it through~.

Maya had seen Olivia and Alex dodge numerous issues and avoid real conversations. She wasn’t going to let this fester. She wasn’t going to let it escalate.

Perhaps it had been spiteful to bite him first, while she was angry, but...

~She needed him to understand~.

“If you die, it’ll fucking hurt. But if you just go and die without—without trying to understand, without trying to talk to me... then it’s just fucking senseless.

“What if I could have done something to change it? I get to decide if I want to be hurt. Not you,” Maya asserted.

He dropped his hand, his shoulders sagging under the burden of his actions. Julian was no longer meeting her gaze. Instead, he stared at the floor.

It wasn’t a grand gesture, but for an Alpha...

“I understand that now. I messed up, Maya. I should have trusted you, respected your right to make a decision.”

She took a deep breath, her anger slowly ebbing away, replaced by a glimmer of hope.

She didn’t want to let the issue balloon out of control. It was easy for him to say the right things now that he’d messed up and was cornered.

“Trust is a two-way street, Julian. We have to talk to each other, or we won’t be anything.”

His eyes softened, his voice heavy with regret. “I’m sorry, Maya. I didn’t mean to push you away. I’m just... scared. I’m fucking scared.

“I can’t remember anything—and what I do remember... It’s dark. It’s fucking dark and bloody.”

Julian cocked his head, looking at her with pain etched across his face.

“I don’t think I leaned on people much. I had a small pack. I didn’t share much with them. Was it because I was hiding something? Because I didn’t care?

“Or because I made all the decisions myself? I don’t even know,” he admitted, a bitter chuckle escaping him.

He raked his fingers through his hair, taking a few deep breaths. “I can see it in your eyes.”

“See what?”

“You think it’s a lame excuse.”

She tried to suppress a smile, but it tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Well, it ~is. I mean~, we already know you can’t remember shit. Are you going to keep playing the ‘poor me, I don’t know who I am’ card?”

“I didn’t realize there was a use-by date on it.”

“There is. It’s today.”

“Maya…”

Maya’s shoulders dropped a little as she took a cautious step towards him, closing the gap between them.

“I get it, okay? You’re scared. Alphas don’t like to admit they’re scared. Whatever.”

Even now, she could feel it, a nagging sensation in her chest: she was angry, but she also wanted to be close to him. That was a new feeling for her.

Maya had always been part of a pack, but she’d also always been fiercely independent.

She’d constantly challenged Alex. She’d always done things ~her~ way. Maya spoke her mind, no holds barred.

Needing someone, feeling different when she was ~with~ that someone? It was both suffocating and exhilarating.

Maybe she hadn’t thought this through. Maybe she hadn’t considered all the implications.

~But could she have? Could she have ever known enough to predict it would come to this~?

She couldn’t change the past. The only thing she could control was how they moved forward, and what she allowed him to do.

Lying and making decisions without her input wasn’t on the list.

“You can’t shut down. I know you didn’t choose to lose your memories, but sometimes, it makes it hard to trust you.

“I don’t know who you are. ~You~ don’t know who you are. Even the people who knew you seem to be in the dark…”

~Not that she wanted to drag Willow into this~.

“So if we’re going to do this—and you’re out of luck because we ~have to do this~.” That was her fault, but there was no need to rehash that, was there? ~Oops~.

“You can’t pull this shit. And don’t think being mated means I can’t fucking kick your ass or make you wish you were dead.”

Threats usually did the trick, right? ~Well, maybe not with Alphas, but… ~Being mates might change that.

He reached out, gently tucking a strand of her fiery-red hair behind her ear, his touch soft and apologetic.

“You’re right, Maya. I promise to be more open, and I won’t make decisions for you—ever again.”

Her emerald eyes met his, a spark of hope reigniting within her.

“Okay. Maybe I won’t bring it up every five minutes. But we can’t keep secrets from each other, Julian. We have to be honest, even when it’s hard.”

She wouldn’t lie to him. She wouldn’t hide the truth.

He had to do the same, or this was doomed. They would be doomed.

They probably had ~one~ shot at this, and there were no do-overs when it came to being mates, so this was it.

He nodded, his face a blend of gratitude and regret. “I know, Maya. I’ve learned my lesson. I swear, you’re more stubborn than an Alpha bitch.”

“Then you better remember that.”

Maya felt a surge of hope as she laced her fingers with his. She didn’t glance his way or utter a word, she just led the way down the corridor.

~Right there~.

It was far from ideal. It was a damn disaster, but that was irrelevant.

Their destinies were intertwined, for better or worse.

If she was correct and everything fell into place, she’d have to follow him away from their group. Regardless of his lost memories.

If she was mistaken and he didn’t survive…well, they’d likely all perish too, and none of this would matter.

She dismissed the comforting warmth spreading through her chest. Her inner wolf was significantly more content than Maya herself.

~Because if they were to die, at least she’d have the knowledge~.

She’d know what it felt like to have someone else’s feelings pull at her heartstrings, to experience a sense of purpose she’d never felt before.

Deep within Julian, there was a will to resist, to survive.

Since he was disregarding that inner voice, she’d have to be that voice for him.

It was a damn good thing she was as loud as ~hell~ then.