Chapter 143: Absence

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“Maya?”

~Damn him.~

~He was supposed to be dead.~ Alex had ~assured~ her that the hunter was practically a goner.

So why hadn’t Julian finished him off? Why hadn’t he been more cautious? Why hadn’t he retreated?

~Silver fragments.~

Maya had lingered long enough to see Olivia extract the first few from Julian’s flesh. But she couldn’t bear to stay any longer.

Her emotions were in turmoil, and the whirlwind of feelings was too overwhelming.

Unexpectedly, Alex had stayed back to assist Olivia. To ~aid~ Julian. That didn’t make sense to Maya.

Perhaps he had felt sorry for Maya. Maybe she had appeared utterly distraught. It wasn’t her fault. Well, ~fine~. She had bitten ~first.~ But she hadn’t anticipated it would feel like this.

As if her heart was being ripped apart. As if her chest was being torn open. As if there wasn’t enough oxygen to fill her lungs.

So, like a damn coward, she’d left the room.

“Maya!”

She jerked her head up, strands of red hair veiling her face. “What?”

“You need to eat. Or sleep,” Olivia suggested, settling next to her on the sofa.

Truthfully, Maya had lost track of time. Had she eaten? Drank? Slept? Judging by Olivia’s comment, she guessed not.

“It was…so uneventful,” she responded, disregarding Olivia’s advice. “He was a mass murderer. He could have killed me in an instant. But now he’s dead.”

Olivia patted her arm, offering a sympathetic smile. “Maybe he knew better than to attack that night.”

“But why hadn’t Julian taken him down before? I know he was stronger with Alex…but really?”

Two alphas together were a force to be reckoned with. It was rare to find two together, unless they were kin and one was waiting for the other to come of age before departing.

But that wasn’t the situation here.

“Maybe. Or maybe Julian was unaware.”

~Perhaps.~

Still, she half-expected another threat to emerge and the nightmare to resume. Nothing had happened yet, but she knew revenge could take time.

What if they had just escalated the situation?

“I suppose.”

If only he knew…if only he could recall ~something, anything.~

“I visited Willow,” Olivia mentioned.

“Why should I care?”

Olivia laughed. “Because we can’t keep her confined forever. Especially now that we’ve dealt with the hunter.”

Likely. But what would she choose to do? Remain in Julian’s pack? Maya couldn’t prevent that.

Willow had been a pack member before Maya even knew Julian existed. And pack members often engaged in such behavior. It wasn’t unusual. It was a fact of life.

Yet despite knowing this, Maya wanted Willow as far away from Julian as possible.

“I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Olivia’s eyebrows shot up. “She could die?”

“Eh! That’s life.”

“Maya!”

She rolled her eyes before sighing in resignation.

“Alright. Fine. We can let her make her own choices. Besides. Julian’s probably on his way out. So. She’ll have to figure something else out.”

“He’s not dying.”

“Is he conscious?”

~Silence~. Just as she thought.

A silver-inflicted wound to the head. A head that had already suffered severe trauma. At this point, she was fairly certain that even if he did regain consciousness, he wouldn’t remember anything.

Perhaps his brain would be damaged and he would be, essentially, a living dead man.

~She had no expectations~.

It was better not to hope. That way, the disappointment would be less painful.

“You should visit him,” Olivia suggested.

Maya shrugged. “I’m not really into the whole ‘watching comatose people’ thing. Not my thing.”

She had already been at his bedside once. When she’d discovered him. This was the ~second~ time she was faced with a nearly dead Julian.

Even now, as Alex had brought him back to the packhouse, she could recall the sinking feeling in her heart, and transforming back into her human form.

Their bond was the only reason she had been able to reassure herself, knowing she would sense if he died.

~But he might as well have been dead~.

His face was a mess of blood and wounds, the puncture...the gleaming shards.

~No,~ she refused to think about it.

“Maya, you’re one stubborn woman and I adore you for it. But he was there when you needed him. It wouldn’t hurt you to return the favor.”

“It might!” Maya’s voice rose in protest. “It might, Liv! I don’t know. Alright? This is all new to me,” she confessed, her hand thumping against her chest.

“What am I supposed to do? Sit around and hope? Hope that I’ll have even ~less~ of him than before? Hope that he hasn’t lost his memories again? At least the first time, there was nothing between us.

“Now, I’ve bitten him. So, if he wakes up and doesn’t remember me, what am I supposed to do?”

Was she expected to start all over again? Explain everything to him? What if he remembered even less this time? What if he didn’t know about werewolves?

How much was she supposed to let him weigh her down? How much pain was she supposed to endure for him?

She didn’t have the answers.

“It’s okay to be scared.”

“DAMN IT, LIV, I’M NOT—”

~Wait.~

Yes.

Maya was ~afraid~.

She was scared out of her wits.

Oh, God. Was this the emotion she had been suppressing all this while?

Fear pulsed through Maya’s veins, filling her with a sickening blend of dread and unease. Her heart hammered against her ribcage as if trying to break free.

Sweat slicked her palms, making them clammy.

Each breath felt shallow, as if the air had turned dense and suffocating. Adrenaline coursed through her, sharpening her senses while blurring her focus.

It was as if the world had tilted, transforming into a maze of shadows and uncertainty.

And Maya found herself teetering on the edge of an abyss, held captive by the paralyzing grip of fear.

~She was afraid it could get worse~.

Because his death might have been easier to bear than what she might discover if he woke up.

A gentle thumb brushed her cheek, just below her eye, and as she blinked, she realized she was crying. Olivia was looking at her, a soft smile on her face as she wiped away Maya’s tears.

~Had she ever really cried in front of Olivia~?

Or anyone else, for that matter?

“I can go with you,” Olivia suggested, her voice barely above a whisper. “Avoiding it won’t make it better. It won’t disappear just because you’re not there.”

Her smile widened a little. “You can even go yell at him. Tell him what a fool he is. That might make you feel better.”

Maya wanted to respond with a witty retort, but the words were lodged in her throat. She was speechless. So, she did the next best thing: she nodded.

Olivia’s hand dropped into Maya’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Maya held on and didn’t let go of her friend’s hand.

A sense of shame was growing within her, as if she was failing by ~needing~ someone.

She had been ~on her own~ for so long. This was unfamiliar. She didn’t know how to handle it.

This pack had been her pack for a long time, but it wasn’t like she had a specific role.

~But~.

That was it.

She bossed Alex around; she goofed off.

But what was she supposed to do with the rest of her life?

For a moment, when Julian came into her life, before the memory loss, her mind had spun a thousand different scenarios.

And then, because life was a cruel joke, there was always something else, and she never had time to think about it.

The time to think was now—but she didn’t know if Julian would wake up. And if he did, what would he be like?

~Damn~.

Maya wanted a simple life. ~She really did~.

She didn’t need a whole pack; she didn’t need a grand purpose. She would be content just lounging around, moving from place to place.

Like Willow had described it. How they never stayed in one place for long. Sure, it was out of fear, but…

What was so wrong with not being tied down?

It sounded…appealing.

“Fine, let’s go,” Maya said, rolling her eyes as she took the lead. Olivia let Maya pull her along as they headed to the room.

Maya could have found it with her eyes shut. ~Julian was everywhere~. Sometimes, she had to suppress her wolf’s whimpers as it ~yearned~ for him.

But until now, she hadn’t given in to any of its pleas. ~It had to understand~.

Her heart pounded like a drum in her chest, and she had to release a long breath as she bridged the gap between them.

He was asleep; she was certain of that. There was no confrontation to be had. Even if she strained her ears, she couldn’t pick up any sound from him.

Just his rhythmic breathing and his slow, steady heartbeat.

Olivia remained silent, and Maya was grateful for that. She didn’t want to engage in conversation. She didn’t even want to be here, but here she was.

The urge to scratch at her mating mark was almost unbearable. Was it just her imagination, or was the mark actually burning?

She pushed the door open gently, releasing Olivia’s hand as she peered inside. The door groaned until finally, the doorknob came to rest against the wall.

There he was, sprawled on the bed. Just as she had anticipated.

From her vantage point, she could clearly see the wounds left by the shards. Even though they were no longer there, it was clear Olivia had to dig deep to extract them.

But he was a wolf. Shouldn’t his healing process be quicker? Yet the wounds were still fresh…

What did that imply?

“I think—I’m not sure I got all of them…” Olivia suggested, as if she had tapped into Maya’s thoughts. “But it’s…it’s healing. It looks much better.”

~She considers this ‘much better?’~

“He looks like he’s dead.” Maya’s words were sharp. “If you’re going to look like you’re dead, you might as well die. If you’re too stubborn to die…then get ~better~.”

That was all she said before she slammed the door shut. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she held them back. ~No, she was not going to cry~.

She shot Olivia a fleeting glance before she walked away.

~She needed a fucking walk~.

And a good sleep.