Chapter 20: Deception

OLIVIA

“Do you believe ~every~ alpha is evil?”

“Huh?”

She’d played out this dialogue in her mind countless times.

She’d rehearsed it in numerous ways, but she’d ~never~ anticipated this would be how she’d broach the delicate subject.

She didn’t want to seem callous; she didn’t want to accuse him of dishonesty, but she craved the truth. Whatever it might be. She’d been wounded, furious, pained—it wasn’t a stretch to think they were malevolent.

But now, doubt was creeping into her heart.

Will had endured a horrific ordeal himself. One far graver than her own.

He’d lost his parents, he was abandoned. It wasn’t absurd to think that it warped his view of reality. He never elaborated on what transpired. She knew about their murders. That was the extent of it.

Yet, if her friend was shouldering an unnecessary load, she wanted to alleviate that from him. He shouldn’t have to endure this much.

Perhaps he could even comprehend ~why~ everything occurred, and then he could release some of the gloom haunting him.

However, now that he was gazing at her, eyes narrowed and lips pursed…

Well, she was having second thoughts.

~Damn~.

“Forge—”

“Why are you discussing alphas?”

He’d been preparing a meal for him and Jess when she had arrived.

She had finally mustered the courage to have the conversation, and she had decided that dropping by unannounced was the best way to avoid backing out. She hadn’t even contemplated the chance that she might disrupt his evening.

He’d welcomed her in, glad that she wasn’t avoiding him, but now she suspected he might believe he had made a mistake.

“Nothing.”

“Did you encounter another one?”

Ano…oh. Right. Alexander. The one-off alpha.

Well, how was she supposed to be honest with him while he clung to what seemed like a futile resentment? He could still despise the alpha that murdered his parents. Who wouldn’t?

But he had so much to discover about what else existed.

He was more of a werewolf than she was. He deserved a decent pack. He deserved to be content.

“N-no.”

Will scrutinized her, his gaze sweeping up and down, making her uneasy.

“Then why?”

She shrugged. “I—it’s I was pondering, that’s all. All werewolves are in packs. I don’t, I was trying to comprehend why they all remain if it’s so terrible.”

“Packs aren’t terrible. Alphas are. And packs are typically led by alphas.” He straightened his shoulders.

“They’re not like us. They only know how to be werewolves. They can’t abandon their support system. They stay, even if it means living in fear. They’re unfamiliar with the human world.”

It was the same spiel he always gave her. And it had always seemed logical—until now. She didn’t see any wolves quaking with fear.

Granted, she hadn’t seen them all yet, but no one could be that skilled at pretending. Even Alexander—he was the one who pulled away from the kiss.

She’d like to claim she would have stopped him eventually, but honestly?

She wasn’t sure. He would touch her and her entire body would ignite.

~This isn’t the moment to reminisce about that kiss.~

A kiss that had left her as flustered as her own damn hormones during a heat.

That wasn’t typical, right?

~No, Liv, don’t dwell on that. Not now.~

“Are you inquiring because you desire a pack?”

“What? No…”

“I thought we were a pack.”

She fought the urge to roll her eyes.

She knew he had good intentions, but even he couldn’t be that blind to the reality of their small group. “Let’s be real, Will. We’re not truly a pack. We’re more like a couple…and,” she gestured at herself. “A spare wheel.”

He set down the ladle he was using to stir and walked around the kitchen island. “Liv, you’re not a spare wheel.”

“But I am. You have Jess, and I have…me. It’s awkward when I crash your date nights.”

That wasn’t the sole reason it was awkward, of course. The whole deception, their history…that was what made the whole situation awkward.

She got it. If Jess knew about their sexual history, she might not want them to socialize anymore.

Will was her everything. Her rock, her only source of support in this unfamiliar existence… At least, that's how it used to be.

She bit her lower lip. Was she being fair?

Was it right to see Alexander and his pack as a substitute for Will? He had been there for her. He had prevented her from taking an innocent life.

He had cleaned her up, washing away the blood and, most importantly, he had guided her out of the darkness.

She never wanted to become a monster. Finding the strength to live after her transformation had been…challenging, to put it mildly.

He had given her a reason to continue.

But it wasn't the same.

They weren't the same.

Still, after everything that had transpired, she felt as though an illusion had been shattered. Something was off. She just couldn't pinpoint what it was.

She despised herself for doubting him. She shouldn't have to doubt him. There were countless logical explanations, right? Why couldn't he just be honest with her?

Cold hands cradled her face, and she tensed in his grip.

“Liv, I’m not going to abandon you. What’s bothering you? That I’ll eventually cast you aside? You’re my friend.” He leaned in, his forehead touching hers. “Is it the heats?”

“W-what?”

“Are you scared you’re going to make another mistake?”

The word was so casually uttered it should have gone unnoticed, but it didn’t. A mistake? What on earth was he referring to… A mistake. During heats?

He couldn’t possibly be talking about the incident at the hospital, could he? How could that be a mistake? The fact that she worked knowing it was her heat?

“A mistake?”

He laughed lightly. “Don’t worry. I love Jess. I won’t fall for it again. It won’t happen again.”

His words echoed in her mind, but no matter how many times she replayed them; they made little sense. A mistake? He wouldn’t fall for it again? Was she losing her mind or was he blaming her?

No, no. That didn’t add up.

She remembered the morning after. He’d been remorseful. He’d tried to soothe her and reassure her while she’d been in a state of panic.

They knew they hadn’t intended to go that far. She could accept the term mistake. But the rest of it?

He never insinuated that this was her fault. Not until now, anyway…

“What do you mean you won’t fall for it again?”

Her voice was steady, which even surprised her. She could feel sweat trickling down the back of her neck, the heat spreading across her scalp dampening her hair. She was far from calm.

She hunched her shoulders, her chin quivering. A wave of intense shame surged in her chest as she felt him pull away from her.

“It’s not really your fault,” he said, offering a half-smile.

“Omegas get really out of control during their heats.”

~Omegas.~ He was fucking blaming her.

“You’re saying it’s my fault we had sex?”

His hands fell from her face, hanging loosely at his sides.

“Liv, don’t be like that.”

“Don’t be like what?”

Will ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. “Look, I thought you were worried about us going behind Jess’s back. It’s not gonna happen.”

“It won’t happen because you’ll resist me no matter how much I apparently throw myself at you, right?”

“Liv—”

“If it’s my fault, why did you apologize?”

“When?”

“After we had sex, after you took my ~virginity~, you said sorry.”

“Liv…” He shoved his hands in his pockets, a sheepish expression on his face. “What did you want me to say? You were crying. I didn’t—I didn’t wanna make it worse.”

She slammed her hands down on the counter, her blood pounding in her veins.

“So what, you were a poor victim. You tried to reject me, but I ~just~ wouldn’t leave ~you~ alone? You were saying no the whole time, but I couldn’t stop?”

“Liv, that’s not what I’m saying and you know it. Why are you being like this?”

“No, I don’t know what you’re saying, Will. That’s the problem. And being like what? Like I’m trying to understand?”

He was rewriting their shared history. This wasn’t the version she knew. In truth, she’d depended entirely on his account. Her recollections of her first heat were foggy at best.

He had assured her it was normal.

The initial rush of hormones was intense, and he had experienced the same when he hit puberty. He’d painted a picture of the event, and she had trusted him.

Now, he was claiming it was all a fabrication?

Her heart pounded in her chest and her stomach roiled with nausea. What else was a lie? She was confused. Will was her ally. Her confidante.

“An omega is hard to resist, okay?”

“We both messed up,” she countered, hoping he’d concur.

But he didn’t. He remained silent.

Her mouth opened. Then shut. Words eluded her. She brought a hand to her mouth, balling it into a fist against her lips.

She tapped her fingers against her lips, but couldn’t articulate her thoughts.

It felt like she’d been sucker-punched. She’d come here hoping to convince him he was mistaken. Instead, he was upending everything.

“I need to leave.”

“Liv…” He extended his hand towards hers, but she yanked it back before he could touch her.

“I’m going.”

As she bolted towards the front door, she could hear his footsteps trailing her.

A few more strides and he’d undoubtedly catch up. She didn’t want to listen.

The word lie echoed incessantly in her mind. All this while, he’d been shifting the blame, the guilt onto her.

How could he claim that he had lied for her benefit? It was for his own benefit. And for the sake of his relationship.

~Jess~.

It had been just the two of them until she entered the picture. It was like a wrecking ball had demolished their walls.

She cared for Jess; truly, she did. It wasn’t her fault that Will loved her.

It wasn’t her fault that Olivia had leaned on him so heavily. She hadn’t done anything wrong. They were in love. She was happy for them.

It had compelled her to step back. It had been beneficial.

It was just a sudden shift. One day, she heard her name for the first time. The next, they were a couple.

Love at first sight. Or something like that.

“Olivia.”

Her name was a soft murmur on his lips, but she didn’t let it deter her.

She grasped the door handle and flung it open, prepared to sprint out of his apartment. Except she couldn’t.

When Olivia opened the door, she was met with Jess’s face.

There she stood. Her brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, a puzzled look in her dark eyes. Right. He’d been expecting her. Planning their date.

And why shouldn’t he? She was his girlfriend.

“Liv, are you alright?”

It wasn’t an act. It wasn’t for Will’s benefit. Jess was genuinely concerned for her.

Regrettably, Olivia didn’t have the strength to maintain a pretense. Not at this moment.

She was barely keeping it together. “Yeah, sorry,” she managed before clearing her throat. “I’ve gotta go. You two enjoy.”

This time, it wasn’t just one voice calling out to her; it was two.

But she disregarded them both as her legs quickened their pace. If she put enough distance between them, Jess would halt and Will would relent.

He wouldn’t want to discuss this in front of her. Never.

She raised her eyes, focusing on the corner of the street; she had to reach it.

Concentrating on her target, she ignored the burning sensation in her lungs, and she continued to run. Once she arrived at her destination, she halted.

The stop was so sudden, she almost stumbled off the sidewalk and onto the road but caught herself just in time.

Her hands were shaking as she clutched her stomach.

She attempted to take a few deep breaths, but it felt like her lungs wouldn’t fully inflate.

Olivia tugged at her collar, pulling it down as if it would help. Futile. It was futile.

She shook her head, feeling the end of her ponytail sticking to the sweaty skin of her neck. She needed to get away. She couldn’t be this close to him. She had to go somewhere.

It was irrational. She knew it was.

But she couldn’t return to her apartment. Will might show up. She had to go somewhere he wouldn’t find her. As she took out her cellphone, her fingers barely grazed Alexander’s name before she hit the call button.

She waited as it rang, her foot tapping the ground impatiently. Come on.

It was ringing too many times.

He must be occupied.

~Or he was avoiding her call.~

A single thought was enough to make her heart ache as if it was being squeezed. Why did it have to be this way?

Just as she was about to give up, she heard it. The call connected.

“Alexander, I’m sorry—”

~“Liv?”~

That wasn’t Alexander.

But she recognized that voice. “M-maya?”

Suddenly, Maya was speaking quickly, bombarding her with explanations. But only one word truly registered.

“Gone?” He had left? He had left without his phone?

“O-oh okay, I’m sorry—” No. Nothing had changed. She couldn’t stay here. “Maya…could you pick me up?”

This was madness.

~She~ was madness.