Chapter 36: Unspoken Words

Every time she did something, she wondered if he’d interpret a hidden meaning behind it. And then she wondered if there was even a point to her resistance.

It wasn’t like she was actively resisting but, unlike him, nothing was compelling her to throw herself at him.

Above all, she didn’t want to hurt him the way she’d been hurt.

She slid off the stool and stood up. As she started towards the stairs, he followed closely behind. Even though they weren’t touching, she could feel the warmth radiating from his body.

The man was practically ~naked~. Walking behind her. Watching her; she could feel his gaze on her. She tried to remain calm, taking deep breaths, trying to slow her racing heart, but she was failing miserably.

His footsteps echoed hers. One step at a time until they reached the second floor. As the door to ~his~ bedroom came into view, a knot formed in her stomach.

Would the nightmares return the moment she tried to sleep again?

Would she smell the blood, feel his hands, feel the lifeless weight of his body when he collapsed on top of her? Would she wake up drenched in sweat and tears?

“Olivia?”

She looked up, finding Alexander much closer than he’d been a few moments ago. He reached out and gently held her chin between his thumb and forefinger.

She allowed him to tilt her head back, his eyes locking with hers.

“I can’t read minds, Olivia. If you want something, you’re going to have to ask.”

How did he know?

Could she ask? Wasn’t that selfish of her? She didn’t even know if it would work.

Yes, she’d found a restless sleep in his arms, but it might have been a coincidence.

He’d been patient this whole time. Was it fair to ask him to give more than he’d receive?

She knew what they were supposed to be to each other, but she hadn’t felt it yet and her mind was a mess. Especially tonight.

“I—”

“Words, Livy. Use words.”

His voice reminded her of a tone he’d used before. One that had made her feel like he had control over her body, like she had no choice but to obey the words he spoke.

“I-I don’t want to be alone tonight. I-I get nightmares.”

“Maya’s in the next room.” His thumb traced her lip, pulling it down gently. “Isn’t that enough?”

She found herself unable to look away.

Her heart pounded in her ears, and she was acutely aware of the warmth of his fingers on her skin. She wasn’t naive.

She felt the chemistry between them.

He’d kissed her once, making her knees buckle, and she found it hard to resist him.

But she wasn’t about to make a life-altering choice ~tonight~. “I’m not saying I don’t—I just—I don’t want to…”

“I’m not a kid, Livy. I’m a grown man.” He leaned in, his nose brushing against hers. “I’m not some desperate puppy begging for attention.”

His hand moved from her lip to cup her cheek.

Almost instinctively, she leaned into his touch. “If I wanted to touch, Livy, I would. I don’t think you’d object.”

He moved closer, his lips almost brushing hers. His scent was all around her, filling her senses, overwhelming her.

“So, tell me. What do you want?”

His voice was a low rumble, sending shivers down her spine. Had his scent always been this intoxicating? “Can I—Can I sleep with you?”

She felt his smirk against her skin, a wave of pride radiating from him.

“Yes, Olivia. You can sleep with me.”

The way he said it made her cheeks flush. “I-I didn’t mean…”

Alexander pulled his hand away from her face, letting it fall to his side. “Trust me, Livy. When I taste you, I’m not just going to sleep with you, I’m going to ~fuck~ you.”

His words sent a jolt through her, and for a moment she thought she was panting. Heat spread across her skin, making her body hum.

Despite herself, her eyes followed him as he walked away, heading to the room next to his own.

“Are you going to stay in the hallway?”

“Do-do you need clothes?”

~What~. Seriously?

Foot, meet mouth.

He laughed. “If you want to sleep with me, Livy, this is how I sleep. It’s more than I usually wear.”

~Oh, so he was being modest now?~ She took a deep breath, her chest heaving as she nodded.

“O-okay.”

He opened the door and left it open for her to follow. And she did. Her steps were hesitant as she peeked inside. He was already by the bed, pulling back the covers. “Is this…”

“This is going to be your room.”

Right next to his. Should she have expected anything else? Still, she couldn’t deny the sense of safety it gave her.

Her thoughts were a mess, her heart was shattered, but some feelings, like safety, were crystal clear. She closed the door behind her and slowly made her way to the bed.

“I don’t bite…” He smirked. “Yet.”

She licked her lips, a fluttering sensation filling her stomach as her heart pounded in her chest. ~Calm down, Livy~. You need to rest.

And she did. Her muscles were sore, her breathing was heavy, her mind was foggy. And he felt ~warm~.

She closed the gap, sitting on the opposite side of the bed. They both slid under the covers and then lay down.

Was this it?

And what was that she was feeling? Disappointment? No.

He reached for the lamp and turned it off, plunging them into darkness.

The silence was deafening.

“Alexan—”

“Just Alex.” He sighed. “Stop using my full name.”

“Okay, ~Alex~.”

He’d asked her to do this before, but she’d ignored him. “Have you—was there—the other day you mentioned that…”

His deep laughter filled the room, and she heard him shifting in the bed.

She turned to look at him, her eyes taking a moment to adjust to the darkness, and saw that he was now lying on his side. “Are you talking about other women?”

She was grateful he couldn’t see the blush that colored her cheeks.

“I mean—”

“You’re my mate. I know that. I’m not touching anyone else.”

“Is it that you can’t, or that you don’t want to?”

“Both, I guess.”

That shed some light on her relationship with Will.

Even though ~knowing~ his mate hadn’t deterred him. Before he got together with Jess, he had no qualms about touching her. Afterward, there were playful, lingering touches, but nothing that crossed any boundaries.

That must have been why.

“You’ll probably miss your friends.”

She raised an eyebrow. “My friends?”

“You didn’t say much when I found out. I had to look around and grab what I could.”

~Oh, no~.

“You have an interesting nightstand. Didn’t take any of them though.”

Could spontaneous combustion happen? Could she just burst into flames right now? Or melt into a puddle? Anything, really, she wasn’t choosy. He’d discovered the drawer.

~Of course, he had~.

How was it her fault she had been celibate for so long? Who was she supposed to sleep with once Will found Jess? ~Ugh~. “Th-that’s…it was…”

“For the record, they have nothing on me. But then again—~you know that~.”

Damn it.

Yes, yes she did.

“That’s what every guy says,” she attempted in a voice that came out squeakier than she intended. He was going to see right through her.

“I can show you again if you want.”

By the time she processed his words, it was too late.

His larger body was over hers, a hand on each side of her head. She could feel him pressed against her, his arousal impossible to ignore.

Although she tensed up, as he applied more pressure, she found her legs opening to accommodate him. He shifted his weight to one hand, using the other to trace his fingertips along her arm.

Goosebumps followed in their wake, taking her breath away.

“That night, at the hospital,” he started, lowering his head so that his lips brushed her earlobe. “If it’d been any other omega, I’d have chased you down.”

His fingers slipped inside her shirt, stealing her breath. “But then I realized what you were, and I was too stunned to follow you.”

His hand moved higher and higher, robbing her of her voice.

She felt her back arch, and she didn’t know if she was trying to squirm away or close the distance between them. His touch felt like molten fire. Sweat trickled down the back of her neck, and she tilted her head to the side.

It gave him enough room to kiss her. He pressed a kiss near her temple, then on her jaw, and then he kissed the side of her throat, right over her pulse point.

Her heart pounded beneath his lips.

“I don’t think you’d run away twice,” he murmured against her collarbone.

His fingers moved higher, his thumb grazing her nipple, causing it to harden instantly.

The last person who touched her was…~him~. That night at the hospital. That kiss.

That moment in the hallway. All of her recent touches were ~him~. Regardless of what thought filled her mind, her body responded to him.

She’d almost let him take her that night during her heat. A fleeting moment of clarity was the only reason she’d run away.

“Would you, Livy? If I let you go right now, are you going to leave?”

Her lips parted, a moan caught in her throat as his mouth continued its journey. He kissed her through the shirt, leaving damp spots in its wake.

Her body hummed with anticipation as he moved lower and lower until he took her erect nipple into his mouth. She gasped, nearly sitting up.

“Would you?”

A suck. A nibble.

She felt a tightening in her stomach, and then a wetness spreading between her legs.

“I need an answer.”

The hand under her shirt massaged her breast, forcing her to close her eyes and throw her head back.

She bit down on her lower lip, vaguely aware of the pain she was causing herself. The taste of blood filled her mouth, but it didn’t deter her.

Words escaped her. So she shook her head.

Her legs tightened around him, as if she was afraid he might leave. That only made him chuckle. He pulled away from her breast, eliciting a whimper from her.

“When I take you, it won’t be because he just discarded you. When I take you, it’ll be because you’ll beg me to—because you’ll ~feel~ it. It’ll be there, driving you mad.”

A wave of cold air hit her as he pulled his body away from hers. Her jaw trembled, almost causing her teeth to chatter.

Each inhale was a battle, her back still curved, his touch a ghost on her skin.

Her eyes welled up with tears of frustration, distorting her sight, but she held them back.

She wouldn’t allow herself to break down.

Yet, the pain was there.

Something was gnawing at her from within. The sting of rejection. It was a sensation she’d never experienced before.

A plea echoed in her chest, urging her to make him change his mind. A deep-seated yearning to be wanted by him. It was senseless. He did desire her. She was certain of that. She was, wasn’t she? Then why wouldn’t her heart accept it?

Why couldn’t she silence the doubts in her mind?

Olivia clutched the blanket, draping it over herself as if it could replicate his warmth. It was the madness of the recent events.

Nothing more.

She could overcome it.

She ~would~.

But…

Ignoring her better sense, she turned and snuggled into his bare back. She pressed her face into him, his scent marking her skin.

A surge of comfort swept over her and she shut her eyes, letting his heat envelop her once more.

It was okay. Everything was ~okay~.

He was ~here~.