Chapter 52: Incomplete

OLIVIA

“~I might be pregnant~.”

That was not the sentence she had planned to start with. After her conversation with Maya had veered off course, she’d been mulling over all the potential outcomes, unable to stop herself.

Once she was sufficiently frazzled, Maya had sent her to talk to Alex.

Unfortunately, he was still not back. So she waited in his room—alone. And she paced. And paced.

After about an hour, she had managed to regain some composure.

~Just a little~.

But then the scents and the memories flooded back.

They were trying to establish a rhythm and this was ~not~ the rhythm she had envisioned for them.

She hadn’t even considered her life in that context. She had resigned herself to a life of solitude.

She hadn’t allowed herself to entertain thoughts of children, marriage, a white picket fence. Those things weren’t meant for her. Not as a werewolf in a human world. But she wasn’t a werewolf in the human world anymore.

She was ~here~. With her ~mate~.

And the prospect of everything she could have—even if she didn’t want it—was overwhelming. All the choices that were once off-limits were now within reach.

How was she supposed to know what she wanted?

“What?”

His deep, puzzled voice snapped her back to reality, and she licked her lips, her fingers tapping nervously against her thighs as she pondered how to break the news to him.

“Maya—she—the shot might not work. I—~I might—possibly~.”

He took a step towards her and panic surged within her. ~Nope~. She clutched her chest with her hand, springing to her feet.

“I mean—~It’s my fault~. I didn’t think about it. I thought—you ~thought~ about it. I’m the one—and then. You know.” She forced a smile onto her face.

“A kid. We could. Maybe. I mean, there’s a chance, you know…” was she babbling, was she babbling?

“But we could, right? Maybe. That’s insane. It’s insane, isn’t it? Because it’s just—insane. We’re still—we’re ~mates~, but we’re also—~strangers~. And that’s a ~baby~.”

She wondered if her words were coming out as fast as her thoughts.

“I mean, I don’t know anything about you! Like—like hmm.” She tangled her hair with her fingers.

“What’s your favorite color? Where are your parents? Do you have siblings? What’s your favorite fruit? What do you do for fun? Did you go to school?”

Her words were a rapid-fire, one after the other, barely comprehensible.

“Livy.”

“Did you want kids? Did I want kids? Did we want kids ~together? I’m twenty-two~!… You’re older. Right. You’re older. But—and then, what do we—I mean—what are we—what—”

“LIVY.”

His voice echoed through her as he placed his hands on her shoulders, holding her still. His grip was firm, grounding her. She looked up, locking eyes with him.

“Blue. My parents are dead. I don’t have any siblings. I guess mango? Before you, I didn’t do much for fun. I didn’t go to a human school, but I was educated.”

He let go of her, his hands sliding down to her wrists. “Anything else?”

She leaned into him, her face buried in his chest, his scent calming her. “Maya said I marked you.”

Alex sighed, resting his chin on her head. “I was going to tell you this morning.”

She believed him, considering they hadn’t had much time to talk. Even if Maya thought he should have told her immediately.

There hadn’t been a right moment. “So what does it mean? It’s—official?”

“No, I didn’t bite you back.”

Olivia pushed against his chest, creating some space between them.

She looked up at him, seeking answers in his eyes. That didn’t make sense. “Why not?” He had been the patient one, waiting for her.

She had thrown herself at him and done it—the final act.

The logical part of her brain argued that there must be a reasonable explanation. He wouldn’t…reject her. ~God~.

Just the thought made her heart skip a beat. He wouldn’t have done everything he had done if he didn’t plan to stay with her.

His hand cupped her cheek and instinctively, she held his wrist. It was as if she was afraid he’d pull away.

“Because I wanted you to be sure.”

His thumb brushed her skin beneath her eye. “I wasn’t sure how ~aware~ you were.”

He—~what~. She had bitten him without asking.

She might not remember everything about that night, but she knew she didn’t ask him before doing it. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t stop her. But he had waited. Waited to talk to her about it.

Waited to ask her if it was what she wanted.

“What happens if—if you don’t bite me back?”

“It’s incomplete.”

She saw it, if only for a moment; a flicker of pain in his eyes. “Does it hurt you?”

“Livy…”

“Does it?”

“It’s not the most pleasant feeling.”

She felt a wave of guilt wash over her, her shoulders dropping. She started this. He didn’t do this to them, she did. And yet he would be the one suffering because of her actions? It wasn’t fair.

She didn’t fully understand being his mate or the biting. She wasn’t sure what it would change or not change but Olivia wouldn’t let Alex suffer because of something ~she~ started.

“So bite me.”

His wide eyes, parted lips, and silence told her that he hadn’t expected her to say that. But what else could she do?

“Livy, are—”

“Yeah,” she interrupted him. “I did it. It’s okay.”

“Do you understand ~what~ you’re asking for?”

“No.”

He laughed softly. “Yet you want me to do it regardless?”

She gave a nonchalant shrug. “Seems like I have a knack for asking you to do things without fully understanding the repercussions.”

Could his bite really be worse than the possibility of her being pregnant? She’d been playing a dangerous game of push and pull.

She’d rejected him, pushed him away, slowed their pace, and then she’d gone and made a fool of herself by initiating their mating bond. It had felt so right in the moment. How could she have done that?

How had she even known to do that? Was it the intimacy? The fear of him leaving?

Mating was ~forever~.

“Livy, if you’re—”

“I know. I don’t…,” she faltered, pressing her lips together. It was done.

She’d made the decision—likely a poor one—and now, it was a waiting game. That was the conclusion she’d reached while waiting for him. “I’m sorry…you wanted to and I didn’t—I’m sorry.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“You think I’d be angry if you’re pregnant?”

She didn’t know what he’d be. She didn’t know what his plans were—and maybe that was her fault too. She’d been wanting to make it right. To work on their relationship.

She needed more time. Less pressure. “Well, you didn’t answer. I—you don’t…”

She was silenced by the warmth of his lips on hers. It was a brief kiss, but it was enough to quiet her. “Olivia, I wouldn’t be angry. I’d be concerned for you.”

Olivia wished her mind was clear; there were too many residual hormones and desires left from her heat. She barely thought before she sought his comfort, burying her face in his chest.

He was saying all the right things. No one ever always said the right things. What did ~he~ want? What was he ~searching for~?

“Alex, be honest.”

“I am honest.”

“What do you want?”

“Olivia—”

“Be selfish.”

Just like she had been when she took without considering the consequences. “What do you want?”

His answer was immediate. “~You~.”

Strong arms encircled her waist and before she could breathe out, she was pushed onto the bed. He positioned himself between her legs, his hands on either side of her head.

“Every moment of every day, you’re in my thoughts. I think about you. I think about what I want to do to you. I think about the warmth of your hands. I think about your pouty lips, and their taste.

“I used to wonder what it would feel like to be inside you. Now that I know, it’s even worse. I want to touch every part of you. I want everyone to know you’re mine and only mine.”

He leaned in, his nose brushing against hers. “It’s worse now. I’m distracted. I can’t focus on my job. I just want you. You bit me, and all I want is you. More than food. More than air.

“I need you constantly. I fucking hate being away from you. Your mark, it draws me to you. It makes me reckless, it makes me unfocused. It’s driving me crazy.”

Each time her chest rose, it brushed against his, and she could swear she felt his heartbeat. All the words he spoke—they mirrored her feelings for the past two days. A need like she’d never experienced before. He was stuck feeling like this?

Had she done this to him?

Her hands trembled as she lifted them, but she didn’t stop. She cupped his face with them, her blood pounding in her ears, drowning out everything else. “Do it.”

“I won’t let you go.”

He exhaled shakily, closing his eyes. “I won’t.”

Her throat moved as she swallowed, his words sinking in. “I know.”

They had time, didn’t they? They would figure this out. It wouldn’t change anything.

They’d already come this far.

He moved his head forward, against her grip, forcing her to let go of his face. His face was nestled in the crook of her neck, and all she could do was tremble in anticipation.

Beneath him, she felt tiny, and he felt ~safe, powerful~. It was the residual warmth of her body. That was it, right? Or was it the mark she'd left on his neck?

Her skin felt the scrape of his teeth, and an unthinking moan escaped her lips.

~This~.

This was the sensation she'd been seeking after she'd bitten him. She hadn't understood it at the time. She'd mistaken it for a simple physical desire. But now she understood. It was the give-and-take of the act. And there it was.

Her inner wolf was singing with joy, ecstatic. She felt tears welling up, but they weren't born of sadness.

Then he reciprocated.

She felt the bite of his teeth, and tears spilled from her eyes.

Warm blood seeped down her shoulder, staining the bed beneath them. She was gasping for breath, a wave of heat radiating from her chest, constricting her lungs.

In his arms, Olivia felt as light as air, a tingling sensation spreading from her toes to her fingertips.

~Whole~.

She felt ~whole~.