Chapter 56: Vulnerability

OLIVIA

Something felt off.

It was more than just off, it was ~terrifyingly~ wrong.

Sweat clung to Olivia’s skin, soaking her clothes.

Her hair was plastered to the back of her neck, sweat trickling down her spine.

She attempted to take a deep breath, but her lungs wouldn’t fully inflate.

Her head was pounding, her thoughts a jumbled mess. ~She couldn’t think straight~.

~She needed him~.

She needed him so damn much it was almost unbearable.

Olivia extended her hands, trying to pull the blanket off her body. But as she did, revealing her legs to the cool air, a wave of panic washed over her. ~Vulnerable~.

Danger could strike at any moment; she was too vulnerable. In a futile attempt to shield herself, she grabbed the blanket and draped it over her body.

~It wasn’t enough~. It was too thin.

She rolled her shoulders back, her heart pounding in her chest.

Where was Alex?

She needed ~Alex~.

Everything would be okay.

If she could just control her breathing, slow her racing heart, she’d be okay.

She had to be okay.

Inhale…

… And exhale.

~Yes.~

~Everything was okay.~

~She was okay.~

Except each heartbeat, each throb against her ribcage, it ~hurt~. She clenched her teeth, squeezing her eyes shut and plunging herself into darkness.

This felt like her heat.

But it couldn’t be because she ~just had it~. Very, very ~recently~. This had never happened before. Could it be a reaction to the mark on her neck? ~What was happening to her~?

Tears streamed down her face, falling from her chin, and she couldn’t stop the sobs shaking her body. Logic was slipping away, instincts taking over.

She had to find Alex—but she had to stay.

It was safer here. His scent was here.

The bed was soft—vulnerable—but soft.

Outside was cold.

Outside was dangerous.

She shook her head, forcing her eyes open. She could do this, she could find him. He couldn’t have gone far.

Everything was okay. She was okay. She moistened her dry lips, feeling the cracks beneath her tongue, and then she let out a deep sigh. ~You can do this, Liv~.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, fighting the urge to recoil as her feet touched the cold floor.

~You can do this.~

As a compromise—to herself—she kept the sheet wrapped around her body.

It would keep his scent close to her and it would prevent her from feeling so damn vulnerable. She took small steps, heading towards the door.

With each step, she glanced at the closet; it probably still smelled like them.

She could fix it. She could make it comfortable again.

~No~. Find Alex.

~This isn’t normal~.

It took all her strength to resist the urge to run into the closet and hide. She could wait for him there.

No, she would find him; it was quicker, ~simpler~. By the time she reached the bedroom door, her entire body was shaking. She still managed to open the door and step out, barely managing to close the door behind her.

~Focus, focus~.

She couldn’t stand leaving herself vulnerable, so she pressed herself against the wall, dragging her body along it as she moved down the hall.

His scent was everywhere, making it hard for her to pinpoint his location.

He was everywhere. Everything was his. ~Close your eyes and feel him~. Yes, there was a pull, a pain in her heart that could guide her.

Olivia closed her eyes, trying to find him without knowing where he was. It should be easy; like instinct. But it wasn’t. Still, her feet guided her down the hallway, and she let them.

“~Liv?~”

Her blood froze, her stomach twisted; that wasn’t Alex. No, no it was okay; she recognized the voice. It was safe. ~No, not safe. Mate. Where’s the alpha~? She shook her head, trying to let reason prevail.

Maya wasn’t a threat. She was a friend.~ A friend~.

“M-Maya,” she managed to say, her voice shaky.

“Holy ~fucking~ shit. Liv? What the ~hell~?”

She’d been asking herself the same damn question. ~What the hell~?

But she didn’t have the time or the energy to engage in a conversation. “W-where’s Alex?”

“I think he’s in the basement.”

“I have to find Alex.”

“Alright, I’m in,” Maya said, moving closer. “We’ll just—”

She stopped mid-stride, her eyes growing wide and her nostrils flaring. Her hands lifted, trembling slightly. “Liv—didn’t you… I thought…”

Tears spilled from her eyes. “I don’t understand ~why~,” she sobbed.

“~Damn~, I thought the smell was something outside…~shit~.”

“W-what?”

Maya licked her lips. “We don’t have other omegas here. I’ve never—I’ve never encountered one in heat.”

She ran her fingers through her fiery hair, smoothing it down. “I’ll tell you this, Alex has the self-control of a ~damn~ saint.” She chuckled, but it sounded forced. “I would have pursued you that night—at the hospital.”

She swallowed hard.

Maya could ~sense~ it?

“Don’t worry. I won’t touch you. But you shouldn’t be out here. It’s one thing for me to resist you. I can’t say the same for these fools.

“Let’s get you back inside and I’ll fetch Alex for you, okay?”

She wanted to be the one to find Alex. She wanted to be the one to touch him. But Maya’s words made her feel vulnerable.

Her body had resisted leaving the safety of the room. Maya’s words confirmed that it was the right decision. She needed to return. To a safe place.

A small, secure place where she could protect herself and wait for Alex.

Olivia nodded. “O-okay.”

“Good girl, let’s go.”

Maya placed a hand on her shoulder, guiding her away from the wall.

She flinched at the touch, but Maya didn’t seem to take offense. Instead, she continued to lead her back to the room. Thank God she hadn’t wandered too far.

A wave of sickness washed over her as she considered what could have happened if someone else had discovered her.

Back in the bedroom, she found it easier to breathe; it was as if a weight had been lifted from her chest. She took deep breaths, filling her lungs with air. “Thank you.”

“No problem. I think you should wait for Alex in there,” she suggested, pointing to the closet. “It’ll make you feel safer.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be back—~no, wait~. I won’t come back in here. ~I’ll send Alex~. Don’t move, don’t let ~anyone~ in except him, okay?”

Closet. Alex. No one else. ~Closet. Alex~. No one.

She nodded, dragging her feet toward the closet, the sheet trailing behind her.

As she slipped into the closet, leaving the light off, she heard the bedroom door close. Alex would be here soon. Everything would be okay. He’d help her. Her skin felt like it was burning and she wanted to escape it.

She could recall his touch but not ~feel~ it? It was agonizing. She needed him to touch her. She needed him inside her.

Olivia squeezed her legs together at the thought of him, swallowing hard.

She looked around, trying to distract herself, but then she noticed.

The nest was completely gone.

He’d cleaned it up.

Of course, he’d cleaned it up. She knew he would. She thought maybe he’d leave a blanket behind. Something.

But he hadn’t. It was all gone. Their scent lingered, too potent to be easily washed away, but all her hard work was gone, erased, reduced to a mere memory.

~Oh no~. That didn’t help.

She felt a surge of panic as her heart pounded in her ears. She had to fix it.

He would come and there would be nothing for him.

Would he be angry?

She didn’t want him to be angry.

Olivia shrugged off the sheet she’d been using to wrap herself in his scent and then dropped to her knees to spread it across the floor. It wasn’t enough padding. It was too thin.

They might as well be directly on the floor. No, this wouldn’t do. She couldn’t get the pillows or the blankets; she would have to leave.

Maya had told her to stay here.

She was concerned.

She was right.

She had to remain here. The place was teeming with people. It hadn’t been this crowded the last time. Why were they all here? Their scents and sounds were overwhelming; she didn’t appreciate it. She yearned for silence.

She longed for solitude with Alex.

~Nest~. She had to arrange the nest. But she couldn’t leave.

She glanced left and right, surveying his clothes.

She reached for the clothes hanging to her left and pressed her face into them. They smelled of Alex. Some were soft. Not the jeans, she wouldn’t use the jeans.

She clung to the softer materials, yanking them off their hangers and tossing them onto the floor. A single touch was enough to determine if she liked it or not.

She moved around the compact space, throwing everything she could onto the floor. Then, she sank to her knees, trying to spread them out and smooth out any bumps.

Bumps were bad.

It had to be soft and smooth. Cozy.

If it wasn’t cozy, he might reject her.

She needed him to accept her.

The mark on her neck started to pulse, and all she could do was lie on her back and shut her eyes.

She savored the softness of the clothes, the darkness of the small, enclosed space. Her entire body was yearning for him, for his touch.

Alex was on his way.

Everything would be okay.

He would sort this out.

He would assist her.