Chapter Seventeen
I jut out my lower lip in attempt to blow a fly away piece of hair out of my face as I stare down at the notebook in my lap, but when it doesn't move I reach up and tuck it behind my ear. Sighing, I reluctantly look back down at the work in front of me. Procrastination has really gotten the best of me with this one because I really don't feel like doing this assignment. I relentlessly tap my pen against the page as I try to read the words in front of me, but my brain just won't absorb them. Then my phone dings beside me and even though I shouldn't, I pick it up, accepting the distraction.
Come cuddle with me.
A goofy smile spreads across my lips before I can stop it and I unlock my phone to text back.
No.
I wait a few seconds turning back to the notebook in my lap and busy myself with rearranging some scattered papers across my bed before my phone dings again.
*Hang outâstupid autocorrect.
I shake my head.
How about in a few hours? I just have to finish this assignment.
I turn back to my notebook and scribble something down before my phone lights up again.
Okay, cool. See you in a bit.
I stretch my arm out and put my phone back on my nightstand before looking back down at the endless amount of words in front of me. Okay, willpower, don't fail me now.
****
I glance up at the grey sky one more time before wrenching open the door to the boy's dorm building. I make my way up the stairs playing with my sweatshirt zipper, relentlessly pulling it up and down the chain. Sliding against the wall, I dodge a group of running guys before making it to Trent's door. I hear some mumbling voices as I bring my hand up and lightly knock two times. I hear heavy footsteps before the door opens and Zack pokes his head out making me pull back a little.
"Trent's at the frat house."
"Oh." I look down. "Okay." I look back up at Zack only to see he's tapping his finger against the door impatiently. Then I notice his bare shoulders and my eyebrows furrow. "Zack are youâ?"
"Zack," a high pitched voice purrs, "are you coming back to bed?" My mouth drops open and Zack nods, his lips curling into a straight line, answering my question.
"Oh my god," I slap a hand over my eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I turn around and quickly walk away while hearing Zack laugh behind me before the door slams shut.
Making it out of the building I stop and take in a few deep breaths still registering what just happened before bursting into laughter. Well, that definitely makes the top ten list of most awkward encounters I've ever had in my entire life.
Sighing, I start trudging my way in the direction of the frat houses. I could call Trent, but I'm already outside. Plus, the houses are only a few blocks away, so it's a pretty quick walk.
Making it to the front door, I bring my hand up and debate whether, or not I should knock. Then going with my gut I bang my fist against the door three times before quickly retracting my hand and taking a step back, unsure who will answer.
I wait a minute, picking at my finger nails.
Another minute rolls by as a brisk, still not exactly spring, wind blows past me, whipping a few strands of my hair around.
Screw it.
I twist open the door and peek my head inside. I glance to my left, then to my right, and not seeing anyone I take a slow step inside. I lightly close the door behind me before jumping back at the sound of a crash. Warily, I turn around while also hearing the squeaking of chip bags and mumbling.
"No, seriously dude you've been hung up on this chick for months. What's up with that?"
"Yeah, what is up with that?"
Following the voices and vaguely remembering the directions, I find myself in the hallway by the kitchen.
"Nothing."
I discreetly poke my head inside seeing a group of guys.
"Huh, what's her name again? Lacie?" I quickly pull back, flattening my back against the wall, and slowly inhale a deep breath. There are other girls in the world named Lacie, not just me.
"Oh, yup, that's it."
"No, seriously, what is going on between you two?"
"None of your business," someone huffs and I immediately recognize it as Trent's voice. Okay, so maybe they are talking about me.
"Oh come' on, you've got to give us something."
"Yeah, I mean have you at least â you know?"
"Yeah man! You've got to have at least tapped that shit by now."
"Oh yeah!" They all start cheering and laughing, the sound of high fives being made, and I scrunch my face up in disgust. This is a perfect example as to why there is so much prejudice against college guys.
"Enough!" Trent shouts and I jump a little startled by his tone. "Look nothing's going on between Lacie and I." I stiffen and push myself further up against the wall silently wishing it'd swallow me whole, as they all go silent for a second.
"Oh come' on, man. You couldn't have known this girl for months and not have gotten a little something-something." I hear some murmurs and snickers in agreement.
"No," Trent says firmly. "It's not like that."
"Well, what is it then?" Someone asks, amusement lacing their tone and despite my brain yelling at me to run, I find my knees locking in place.
"Look," Trent sighs, "It's not what you guys think. It's really nothing, okay? We aren't even together. She's just some girl I met. She doesn't mean anything to me."
My breath gets caught in my throat as my stomach plummets down to my feet. My heart starts pounding in my chest and I feel it in the tips of my fingers as I squeeze them into a fist.
She's just some girl. She doesn't mean anything to me.
His words echo in my brain as I'm still trying to process them. Process the fact that he said them. Process the fact that he actually said them out loud. And that only means one thing.
That they're true.
My hands clench tighter at my sides and I find myself stepping off the wall. Turning, I step right into the light of the doorway to the kitchen and clear my throat. Trent's head whips around as do all his friends, the look of 'holy shit' written all over their faces.
Trent digs his hands into the sides of his hair. "Shit, Lacâ"
"Oh no," I say, folding my arms across my chest. "I didn't mean to interrupt. Please," I gesture with my hand, "keep going."
"Lacie Iâ "
"Don't stop now. You're on a roll." I gesture to the still very shocked group of boys now standing behind him and watch as a few of their Adam's apples bob as they swallow.
"Lacie, listen it didn'tâI didn'tâ" He stutters shaking his head at the floor, but then his bright green eyes flicker to mine and in that exact second I feel my heart crack.
"Save it." I put my hand up and turn around, taking quick strides towards the door.
"Lacie, wait!" I hear his footsteps coming after me, so I run.
Run out of the house, across the street, and don't stop until I'm back at my dorm building on the other side of campus. I bend over and heave in a few deep breaths as my heart continues to pound rapidly in my chest. I straighten back up and my hands begin to shake at my sides. A crack of thunder breaks through the storm of thoughts swirling around my head and before I know it I'm being pelted by cool fat raindrops. But they don't stop the red hot fury that is boiling inside me, nor do they stop the hot tears from flooding into my eyes and making my vision go blurry. I clench my fists and bite my lip willing them not to fall, but they do. They slowly trickle down my cheeks, the warmth of them contrasting with the cold drops that are falling all around me.
The bursting energy I had a minute ago seems to seep right out of me and I find myself slowly sliding down the wall of the building and curling up into a ball.
So I guess this is what it feels like to have your heart broken... into a million pieces.
(WARNING: Next chapter is going to contain A BIT of foul language... just so you know)