.
The second healing session was pain-free. Wuxian didn't feel anything other than fatigue. This time however, his body showed more weakness than he would've appreciated. It was downright humiliating when your soul-bond has to feed you because your hands are too shaky to hold your own chopsticks. Wangji showed nothing but support and made sure Wuxian had everything he needed before he asked.
After Wuxian had a good night's sleep, his body felt better. Not normal.. but better. He was allowed light duties for the next few days. He was sitting with Lan Ran who was giving him an update of what he's missed the last two days: "Zewu Jun informed me that Clan Leader Nie replied to our message. According to him there is only one blessed well in his sect."
She took out a map and showed him the location: "Here. In Luxia City. It's a trading city that's well known for its food and wine. Clan Leader Nie agreed to meet us there in 9 days to help investigate your vision and hopefully stop it from happening."
Wuxian nods so she continues: "Zewu Jun has been planning your trip with the help of Healer Shi. You're set to leave after the next healing session. The trip will take a week by horse."
Wuxian: "My kids?"
Lan Ran smiles at him: "Grandmaster Qiren will arrive with your disciples tomorrow. They've completed their task successfully."
Lan Ran looks at Wuxian who's showing clear signs of depression. Since they met this morning, he hasn't said much and hasn't finished the extra meal she brought him a few hours ago. It's part of her job to make sure he's well enough to perform his duties. Lan Ran steps closer to Wuxian and says in a low voice: "Treasure Wei, would you like to take a walk with me?"
Wuxian looks surprised by her request: "Are we expected somewhere else?"
Ran smile warmly at him: "No. I just thought a change of scenery wouldn't hurt."
Wuxian nods and follows her out of the Treasure Room. They walked in silence for a few minutes then Ran asked: "Do you consider me as a friend?"
Wuxian nods: "You basically run my life for me. I wouldn't let anyone do that."
Ran: "So.. I may speak freely?"
Wuxian chuckles: "Lan Ran, you are older than me. You may call me by my name and speak your mind."
Ran: "Alright then. As your senior, I have more life experience than you, especially in dealing with problems. That is after all my specialty."
Wuxian: ".. and?"
Ran: "Tell me, what is bothering you?"
Wuxian sighs deeply: "I'm just tired."
Ran: "Tired people don't refuse food."
Wuxian looks into her eyes and asks: "Lan Ran, what are your plans for the next week? What do you look forward to?"
Ran smiles: "Well.. we have many people planned to come meet you and get healed. I always enjoy seeing their healthy happy faces afterwards. What else? My sister and her family are returning home before the winter festival from a long assignment. I promised my niece that I would take her to the festival to make a wish."
Wuxian looks sadly at her then forces a smile: "You have a niece?"
Lan Ran frowned at his obvious sorrow and said: "Yes, she's three years old. Why does this make you sad?"
Wuxian shakes his head: "Not sad. Nostalgic."
Ran stops walking and pulls Wuxian to take a seat on the side: "What do you miss?"
Wuxian looks at the sky and says with a wistful voice: "I miss people."
Ran: "People?"
Wuxian closes his eyes in shame: "I don't want to sound ungrateful but I miss walking around cities, surrounded by people.. normal people. I miss watching them haggle for better prices. I miss eating street food. I miss watching kids play freely in the streets. I just.." He lets out a long sigh then continues: "I just miss being unnoticed."
Lan Ran places a gentle hand on his arm: "Treasure Wei, it's ok to miss things from the past. Your life changed in such a drastic way, it would be unnatural for you to just sit back and accept it without a little bit of struggle."
Wuxian looks heartbroken: "I don't have the right to complain. I've been blessed."
Ran: "You've been blessed with a burden. Nothing in this world has no price. The price you're paying is hefty and if you feel like it's sometimes too much then it's perfectly fine to complain."
Wuxian swallows hard and looks at her: "Lan Zhan has been locked in here with me. I feel so guilty.." a soft sob leaves him with a few tears as he takes a deep breath and continues: "I feel so guilty because he's paying the price of my blessings with me. I know that he's my soul-bond but that's supposed to be an equal relationship. So far, all I do is take and take.. with nothing to give."
Wuxian closes his eyes to try and compose himself: "He drew the short stick when we bonded and I know it's affecting him more than he lets on. I cannot even comfort him because he's busy comforting me."
Lan Ran feels his frustration: "He can leave if he wishes."
Wuxian shakes his head: "He abandoned me twice and I died both times because of it. He's scared of leaving me again to a point where it's starting to affect his judgment. Zewu Jun thinks it's something that only time will heal but I've lost faith in time. He's not getting better and I feel that my inadequacy as a partner is making it worse."
He pulls his knees to his chest, curling up: "Tell me what I can do to make this rotten feeling go away?"
Lan Ran looks seriously at him: "Don't fight it or try to fix it. Just accept it. Sometimes in life, things can get out of balance. We naturally fight this in search of equilibrium but end up tipping the scales furthermore. A relationship is not just give and take. Sometimes what is given is not clear or quantifiable. No one has seen Hanguang Jun smile before you joined our clan. I have no doubt in my mind that he takes care of you with such devotion because you give meaning to his life."
Wuxian turns to look at her with tear filled eyes. She places a comforting hand on his shoulder: "It is what it is. The only choices you have is to either fight it or let it run its course. This rotten feeling you're talking about is your way of fighting the change. It's a choice that's clearly not working in your favor. Why not just let it be? It's a new reality that you must accept, why not adapt and enjoy it?"
Wuxian sighs and looks back at the sky: "I'll give it a try. Maybe if I stop fighting then Lan Zhan will have less to deal with."
Lan Ran: "You are not a burden to those who care for you willingly. If I fall right now and break my leg, would you find it burdensome to carry me back?"
Wuxian looks seriously at her: "I'd carry you then we'd both die when Lan Zhan finds out. Happy ending."
It took a few seconds for his comment to sink in then Lan Ran bursts out laughing: "I would die for sure. The most you'll get is a glare!"
Wuxian smiles at her: "His glares can kill too you know!"
They shared a warm smile then she said: "I do agree with Zewu Jun, your only solution is time and patience. You have many people around you who care about you. So if you're feeling down or would like to talk some more about your problems, I will always be here for you."
Wuxian: "You remind me of my older sister."
Lan Ran moves a hair strand from his face and smiles: "I will be your older sister as long as you need me."
Wuxian smiles genuinely at her for the first time that day and pulls out a gold rock: "Would you do me a favor?"
Lan Ran: "Sure."
Wuxian hands her the rock and asks: "Do you mind buying me a few lanterns from the winter festival? I want to give it to all the people who're trapped here because of me."
Lan Ran felt sadness wash over her. This man has been stuck here for a while and all he wanted was to lessen the burden of those who choose to stay by his side.
He puts another gold rock in her hand and says: "This is for your niece. Buy her all the delicious street food and toys she wants."
Lan Ran bit her lips trying to suppress her emotions and bows in appreciation. Wuxian stood up and rolled his shoulders: "Let's go. Since time is my only way out then let's spend it fixing people and making a difference." Lan Ran watched him square his shoulders and take a deep breath before walking towards the Treasure Room. She knew deep in her soul that this conversation served nothing but put his grievances on hold rather than solve anything.
She was not appointed as his assistant to listen and do nothing. She is Lan Ran; the best negotiator and problem solver in Gusu Lan Clan. She will find a way to free this man and no one will stand in her way.
.