As Alex sat at the table with the weight of recent events pressed heavily upon him, worry overwhelmed him and he decided to let it.
Pretending nothing was wrong at HQ was one thing, but trying to push it all out his thoughts were too far. The kid, that awful little bastard, was one of them. He'd been for years. Slept and rose under the same roof. He ate with them and made them food, even if it wasn't the best. Bland food that seemed to lose its taste somewhere between the pot and the plate. Garbage cooking aside, Klaus was a part of their world.
It was good Eli wasn't around. She'd take one look at him, know he was thinking about Klaus, and then tell him he was too in his head. Like she didn't miss him too. She probably did, Alex was sure of it. She'd die before she'd admit it, but Alex had caught her gaze drift toward his room or his empty chair at the table enough to know.
Alex glanced at his watch and sighed.
Zayd was supposed to check in with him seven hours ago, but there was no sign of him. Another person to worry about.
Alex spied on Zayd when they were getting a feel for his physical abilities and it was clear he could hold a fight despite not being Enhanced himself. The guy lied easily too. Maybe it was trying to read his face was just about the same as trying to look through a brick wall. But the guy had a weak spot for his kid brother. That's where Zayd's iron mask cracked a little, letting some emotion slip through. Otherwise, trying to figure him out was like trying to nail jelly to a wall. No way the Republic caught onto him as a plant so early, even if Zayd was new to all of this. Even if everyone they'd sent to that facility ended up dead.
Still, missing the check-in didn't seem like Zayd's style.
And it would be a shame if the kid was dead. If he was the one who sent him to it.
The thought made him freeze. Right. That was enough thinking about that. He was just doing his job.
Alex wrote his report.
There was another report after. This one was shorter. It was an overview of his findings about why one of his recent recruits had run off. The findings were nonexistent. At least his hand wouldn't cramp.
Alex had mentioned the situation off-handedly to Eli and though she didn't mention it, it seemed like she was trying to look into it on his behalf. Lucky, considering he'd found nothing. The fact that the guy ran off though? Unlucky. It made it look like Alex wasn't recruiting people who fit their profile well enough. And he'd been told to up his recruiting numbers the other day.
Alex tapped his pen against the desk, his expression twisted with frustration. Each passing second only added to his growing unease. He rubbed his temples, the weight of the situation sinking deeper into his shoulders, a tangible heaviness that made his breaths shallower. The room felt stifling, suffocating him with a sense of failure that no words on paper could adequately convey.
Recruiting Elites used to be a matter of pride. Like he was shaping the future. Contributing to the cause. It kept him sane after the world went to shit for people like them and he found his sister dead. Now, recruiting was more a burden rather than something he took pride in. The naive fervor he once held for finding new members had dimmed, replaced by a nagging sense of doubt and weariness. He missed the days when each recruit brought hope instead of this lingering dread. He missed wondering how they'd bring to the cause instead of wondering how long they would live.
Alex was thinking too much. Another pitfall of not having Klaus around. The kid killed his brain cells just by being nearby.
When Alex went to submit his reports, he was told to give them to Director Knox directly. He headed for the office, knocked at the door, and slipped in when he was given permission.
Something about the director was intimidating even when Alex knew he wasn't trying to be. The man was in his fifties, always donning a sharp suit, and sporting spectacles if he was reading like now. His hair was streaked with grey, and slicked back. Crows feet etched the corners of his eyes. His lips were thin, forming a determined line that often mirrored his serious demeanor. Something about his appearance screamed This guy's important.
The man used to smile more often when Alex first started. Not often, but more than he did now. Maybe he'd be less intimidating if he still did.
Director Knox held out a hand for the reports and gestured for Alex to sit. He read them quickly and set them down right after, casting him a disappointed look.
"I want a different position."
If the man was surprised, he didn't show it. He had to be. Even Alex was. He hadn't known he was going to say that until the words were out of his mouth.
"Tell me why."
"I'm just tired," Alex began, a hint of hesitation in his voice. "I think I need a change of pace." He skirted around the full truth, opting for an explanation that wouldn't entirely reveal too much. He couldn't give away too much - even if the man did not seem angry, it was better not to risk it. "Recruiting effectively right now, it's... I'm burned out."
The man nodded understandingly. "Taking a step back from recruiting might be beneficial for now. We might need to reconsider the pool we're drawing from, castand  a wider net. We need someone to focus on the safehouses, but, I still need you to oversee those you already recruited."
As Alex left the room, the breath he was holding escaped him in a rush. The tight knot in his chest seemed to unravel, allowing a wave of relief to flood his senses. His steps carried a newfound spring as he moved along the corridor. A glint of genuine gratitude danced in his eyes, visible even as he navigated the bustling corridors of the headquarters. The weight that had sat on his shoulders seemed to dissolve. It was the lightest he'd felt in days.
I gotta tell Klaus, he thought before remembering.
Suddenly, the relief he felt wasn't as great.
As he mentally plotted his route back to the cabin, the hollow space that had been Klaus' presence pricked his conscience. The image of Klaus' face, etched with betrayal and a sense of abandonment, loomed in Alex's mind, slicing through the elation he had just felt. That look, as if Klaus no longer recognized the faces he once called friends, haunted Alex's thoughts, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. His victory now seemed insignificant in the shadow of Klaus' wounded trust.
When his sister died, Alex thought he'd keel over one day because of it. He didn't expect to survive the loss. He did not think he would recover. He also did not think there would be any pain that came close to that.
Losing a friend cut deeper than Alex anticipated. It wasn't just the absence; it was the void left behind, a hollow space that echoed the loss of connection, laughter, and shared moments. The pain of losing a friend was an unexpected depth of sorrow that engulfed him.
Instead of ending up at the cabin, Alex found himself at an empty booth at his favorite restaurant, a bowl of free miso soup steaming in front of him beside his usual order of dumplings.
Nice, he told himself. Normal.
Ian smiled, eyes bright. "On the house. You were gone so long, the old man thought you were dead."
Alex did his best to return the smile, but knew it fell short of his usual one.
Ian's smile fell. "What's wrong?"
The two of them weren't close by any means. Alex enjoyed Ian's company - he was friendly and easy on the eyes - but they never spoke about anything meaningful. Alex came here to feel normal, but there were boundaries. Making friends with civilians was one of them - this guy was probably one of the many who hated the Enhanced.
Ian clapped a hand over his shoulder. Alex could feel the concern coming off of him. It was a mild, distant thing, but it was there. The hand gave a squeeze before it was gone, Ian with it.
Alex looked down at his soup and drank it, letting it burn his tongue as he did. The bowl was pulled back before he could finish it and Ian settled into the seat across from him, apron gone, glasses in one hand and a bottle in another.
He set them down, poured two glasses, and slid one over. "If you don't feel like talking about it, we can just drink about it."
Alex tried to smile again. Maybe it would be nice to pretend he had another friend.
Author's Note
I want to say if you see typos, they are there because I am tired, but the truth is that I am simply illiterate.