Sheena's POV
"Come on! Figure everything out, ano ba talaga gusto mo?" I asked myself while staring at the ceiling of my room for like an hour now. I still can't process what happened yesterday. All I know is that, hindi pa rin ako nirereplyan ni Gweneth ngayon.
I get that she's mad but I was so clueless. Hayup na Valfer! He is Gwen's brother all this time, kaya pala sobrang lakas ng loob niya to say and do things without worrying if Gwen might turn him down or something.
I reached for my phone and tried messaging Gwen again.
Sheena: Hi! I hope you're doing okay. I miss you so much, Gwen. Please reply?
Sheena: Nael's missing her mom. I'm missing you too.
Sheena: Seriously Gwen, I am searching on Google how to hug someone through internet.
But still no response from her. I heaved a sigh before typing my last message. Kapag hindi pa niya ito nireplyan, titigilan ko muna siya.
Sheena: I will wife you up one day. I immediately covered my eyes after sending the message. Ewan ko, nakakahiya eh. Pero nang tumunog ang phone ko, agad ko itong kinuha.
Gwen: What happened to hello?
Sheena: Hello, I will wife you up one day.
Gwen: Asshole!
I tried sending her messages again asking if we can talk but she didn't reply. Nawala na naman siya. Paano ba manuyo? Should I ask my best friends? Pero palagi naman kasi nila akong pinapagtripan kapag humihingi ako ng tulong when it comes to this.
Umayos ako ng upo at kinuha ang notebook ko. If text messages didn't work, I'll do it the hard way. When I was a kid, I always see my dad sending letters to my mom. I find it cringey before pero hindi ko naman inaasahan na gagawin ko rin siya ngayon.
Gweneth, the things you do to me.
Okay, Sheena, deep breaths. You can do this. Gwen... Gwen is amazing. Kind, funny, brilliant... and completely out of your league. A defeated sigh escaped my lips. I slammed my notebook, wala akong maisip. How will I start a letter kaya?
I shook my head. She's really out of my league. Nawawala yabang ko pagdating sa kanya. But I have to try, right? I can't just let this feeling fester. But what if I mess up? What if I say the wrong thing? Mababaliw na yata ako!
I opened my notebook again, flipping through pages filled with scribbles and crossed-out ideas. This whole plan is a mess. "Operation: Courting Gwen"? Really? The last time my best friends and I made that thing, wala akong napala eh. Plus, I sound like a twelve-year-old with a crush on a classmate.
Bahala na nga!
.... Your love is precious to me. You bring sunshine to my darkest days, laughter to my lips, and a strength I never knew I possessed. The very thought of losing you terrifies me. I understand if it takes time for you to forgive me. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild your trust and prove my love.
"Pangit ng sulat mo, Shee." I was startled when someone spoke from behind. When I turned around, I saw Maloi reading my letter. Colet and Mikha is now sitting on my couch. Nagtatalo pa sila kung anong game ang lalaruin sa PS5 ko. This idiots surely doesn't know how to knock.
"Bakit ba andito na naman kayo?" I frustratingly asked them.
Colet shrugged her shoulders and approached us. Kinuha siya ang letter na gawa ko without my permission. I protested pero tinulak niya lang ang noo ko at tahimik na binasa ang letter ko for Gwen. Mikha, being the gossiper that she is, joined Colet in reading it.
"Corny." Mikha commented. Kapag ito talaga na-inlove soon, tatawanan ko siya.
Colet shook her head in disapproval. "Mali mali grammar mo, Shee." she whispered kaya nagtawanan silang tatlo.
"Struggle. It's double 'g'. Bakit mo ginawang single lang 'yon?" Maloi asked.
I scratched my nape, "double pala 'yon all this time?" I asked them and they all nodded while still bursting into laughs. "Akin na nga 'yan! Bakit ba napaka strict niyo? Letter lang naman 'to eh."
"Shee, you are our bunso. We won't let you look stupid in front of Gwen no!" masungit na sabi ni Mikha and handed me another paper and pen.
"Just ... just guard your heart, okay? We're here to pick up the pieces ..." Maloi smiled sweetly. Siya talaga ang pinaka-ate ko sa kanilang tatlo. She's so caring and soft with me and my two other best friends. I feel like once she fell in love, she'll do everything for the girl. Sobrang swerte.
"We're here to pick up the pieces if Gwen rejected you kasi inuuna mo manlandi kesa mag-aral."Â Colet smirked.
"You guys are overprotective. Mahal na mahal niyo talaga ako eh." I said and was about to hug them pero iniwasan lang nila ako.
Wala talagang physical touch sa tropahang ito! Minsan lang siguro kapag nadadala ng emosyon.
"But Shee, have you heard about Meagan? Hindi ba nilandi ka non? I feel like she still likes you."Â Maloi suddenly said.
"Yeah, she's making pa-cute to you yesterday." Colet said, stress evident in her tone.
"No, you are just being overprotective. Lahat yata ng girls na lumalapit sa akin feeling niyo may gusto sa akin. Especially you." I replied, pointing my finger at Colet.
"What do you expect? We'll watch those girls play with your feelings?" Mikha asked, looking Colet and Maloi before settling her gaze at me.
"Hindi ka nga namin pinapaiyak, tapos they'll make you cry? Si Gwen lang allowed pa-iyakin ka." Maloi said, her voice full of emotions that I actually want to laugh.
"Bakit kapag ako ang higpit niyo? I don't meddle with your monkey business kaya when it comes to girls." I protested.
"Anong hindi? You turn into total asshole when you don't like the girls we date!" Mikha contradicted my statement.
"Anong we? You lang, I've never liked any other girl kaya, si Stacey lang. And Keith is the only girl Colet ever dated." Maloi said.
Mikha hit the back of Maloi's head and scowled at her. I laughed at what she said, and I received a pinch from Colet.
"Basta, Shee. Stay away from temptations. Kung si Gwen, si Gwen lang." Colet said.
"Of course. Siya lang, kahit sino pa dumaan dyan. I'll do everything for her. You know, Gwen, spending time with her is the complete opposite of that library incident. She make me laugh, she make me think, she make me want to, uh ..." I looked down, this is so embarrassing.
Maloi raised an eyebrow. "Want to?"
"I mean... she makes me want to... well, the truth is, Gwen, she makes me feel like a complete goofball. Ever since we met, there's been this... this feeling inside me. Like a herd of happy penguins doing the Macarena in my stomach. Okay, maybe that's a bit much. But the point is, Gwen is amazing. Kind, brilliant... she even make me want to learn the Dewey Decimal System." I looked up and saw my best friends smiling proudly at me.
But Mikha ruined the mood again. "Dewey decimal system pero di marunong magcompose ng grammatically correct letter."
"Leave our best friend alone, Mikhs. Oh, ano, tara na. Ito naman balak natin kaya tayo nagpunta rito." Maloi said.
"Saan?" I curiously asked.
"To the Apuli's. Make things right, Shee. We got your back." Colet smiled at nauna na lumabas.
Parang dumilim ang living room ng mga Apuli. To our surprised, sinalubong kami ng taong pinaka-ayaw akong makita. Valfer, Gwen's older brother, sits hunched over a beer, my face etched with worry.
My friends are now hiding behind my back. Nakakainis! Parang kanina lang ang tapang tapang nilang magsabi ng kung ano-ano.
"Susuntukin ko talaga si Valfer kapag nakita ko siya mamaya." Colet
"Ano ba height non? Kaya ko 'yon!" Maloi
"Yeah, I'll punch him to death." Mikha
Yung mga lion kanina, naging kuting ngayon.
I cleared my throat. "Valfer? Can I sit?"
Valfer sighed and gestured to the empty seat opposite him. I sat, my hands twisting in my lap.
"You know you shouldn't be here, Sheena." he started.
"I had to see you. I had to see Gweneth." I said, almost a whisper.
"See what? The disappointment in my eyes?"
I flinched but I still met his gaze. "I understand why you're upset but I'm willing to earn your trust and prove my love for Gweneth. I love her, Valfer. I love her and I can change myself to be deserving of her love."
When he didn't utter a word, I spoke again. "Believe me, that's not my intention to mess up and scare her. I care about Gwen deeply. More than words can say."
"Care? You barely know her, Sheena. She's weak and sick, she seem strong but there are things or nightmares that keep her awake at night. She ... she have scars, Sheena." Valfer looked away after saying his last words.
My breath hitches. This is the first I heard of Gwen's struggles. "Scars? What... what happened?"
"It doesn't matter. The point is, Gwen is fragile right now. She doesn't need someone who might break her heart again." Valfer replied, his voice thick with emotion.
"I wouldn't break her heart, Valfer. I would never do anything to hurt her."
"If you truly care about Gwen, Sheena, then you'll walk away. Give her the space. I know my sister, she isn't ready to talk yet. Give her enough time."
With that, my voice started to tremble. "But what if... what if that space doesn't include me?"
Valfer wasn't able to answer because Gwen suddenly appeared. "What are you doing here?"
I stood up and went to her. "Let's talk, please?" I held both her hands.
"Sheena, stop being so problematic and leave my sister alone!" Valfer yelled.
I looked at Gwen, letting her see through me. Hinayaan ko siyang makitang sincere ako at seryoso sa gusto kong mangyari sa amin - kung saan man papunta ito.
"I'll hear her out, kuya." Gwen finally said after a few minutes. Valfer heaved a sigh and left the living room. Nagpaalam din ang mga kaibigan ko na lalabas muna.
"I came... to apologize." I said. Tangina, hindi ko ito ginagawa dati.
"Apologize? For what?"
We sat down on the couch and i made sure to keep a respectful distance. "For confessing my feelings the way I did. For being so goofy, jealous, and... insensitive. I... I just feel awful."
I saw Gwen's eyes softened lightly.
"I don't know about your nightmare and scars but that doesn't excuse it. I should have been more understanding, more patient. The last thing you need right now is someone adding to your burden." I looked down.
Gwen reaches out and takes my hand gently. " Listen to me. Your confession... it wasn't a burden. It was... surprising, yes, but..."
"But?"
"But the truth is, Sheena, your goofiness, your kindness... it makes me smile. You see the world in such a bright, vibrant way, and sometimes... that's exactly what I need."
"Really?" I looked up, hoping blooming into my full smile.
"Really. What Valfer maybe didn't tell you is that you... you make me laugh. You make me forget, for a little while." she assured me.
A comfortable silence settles between us, charged with unspoken emotions.
I took a deep breath. "Gwen... There's something else I need to say. Even if things can't progress right now, even if you need time... I just wanted you to know... how much you mean to me."
My voice started trembling. "You are... you are sunshine after a storm, Gwen. You are the laughter that breaks through the silence. You are... well, you're the most amazing person I know, and I can't help but fall a little more in love with you every day."
Binigay ko sa kanya 'yong letter na pinaghirapan kong isulat. We sit here for a moment longer, hands clasped, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air.
The future remains uncertain, but for now, there's a fragile understanding, a connection that promises a chance for love to bloom in its own time. I will wait for Gweneth.