Sheena's POV
It's been 9 weeks. Nasanay na ako sa mga ganap dito. If there are no visitors, I read my journal or sing for Gwen. Usually 9 AM hanggang 9 PM ang visiting hours kaya sa rooftop ako tumatambay pagkatapos. If I feel like I'm tired to sleep, umuuwi ako.
"Hey, love," bati ko kay Gwen at hinalikan ang noo niya. "Nael got stuck in my jeans a while ago. Akala ko madadala ko pa rito." I chuckled while arranging the fruits on the basket.
"Anyway, what if I sing for you today? Hmmm?" I said while fixing her blanket. "Alright, as if you can say no." tumawa ako nang mahina at umupo sa tabi niya.
I cleared my throat and started singing Gwen's favorite song.
I saw the ECG monitor change its pace. It wasn't like this before. The beeping was steady but now it was different. "Tita?" I called out from the room. Agad namang lumapit si Tita habang nasa likod niya sina Valfer at Tito. "Tita, what's happpening?" I managed to speak out desoite the harsh breathing.
"Bebe, hey. Gwen? I'm here. Sheena's here." I blinked rapidly while holding her hand. "Sheena's here, my love." My tears started streaming down my face as the doctors came barging in.
The nurses had to pull me from her bed and restrain me from coming inside the room. "No! Gwen needs me, fucking let go of me! Tangina niyo isusumbong ko kayo sa may-ari ng hospital na 'to!" sigaw ko habang inaawat ako ng mga doctor.
I stood frozen from where I stood, eyes widened. No. No, I can't. You can't do this to me. I shook my head while I leaned on the wall to region my balance. What's happening? What just happened?
Magsasampung minuto na ako sa labas ng ICU, hinihintay na lumabas sila Tita para sabihing buhay si Gwen. Napaupo ako sa gilid habang nagdadasal. "I know I don't ask for much ... I don't ask at all but," I pursed my quivering lips. "please. Please not now. Not right now." My hands were over my head as I sobbed quietly. "Huwag muna, parang awa mo na."
I heard heavy footsteps and when I looked up, I saw my best friends rushing over me. Pare-parehas na mugto ang mga mata namin. Si Aiah at Jhoanna, humahagulgol na ngayon habang rinig na rinig ko naman ang sunod sunod na mura ni Mikha at Colet sa tabi ko.
"Shee ... What if..." Maloi sniffed.
"Wag mong ituloy. Makakatikim ka sa akin." I warned her.
"Kasi, hindi pa lumalabas ang mga doctor. Nakita namin kanina nahihirapan silang irevive. Paano kung ayaw na niyang lumaban, Shee? Paano kung pagod ka siya?" she told me.
I stood up and went to her spot. I grabbed her collar and started punching her. "Tangina wala ka bang narinig ha!? Sa tingin mo hindi ko iniisip yan? Gago 'yong fiancé ko nasa ICU tapos ngayon mo pa sasabihin yan?" sunod sunod kong tanong habang paulit ulit siyang sinusuntok.
Alam kong magagalit si Gwen dito pero kasi, hindi ko na kayang pigilan. Sumabog nalang din ako.
I heard our best friends shouting pero hindi ko sila pinansin. I stopped when I saw the doctors went out of the room. Agad akong tumayo at pinunasan ang pisngi ko. Gwen's doctor gave me a sad smile before I hurriedly came inside, I stopped mid-way as I saw her family crying beside her. Naka-off na ang mga monitor at nakatanggal ang oxygen mask niya. Dahan dahan akong lumapit at tumayo sa tabi.
"Gwen, bakit nakatanggal na 'yung mask mo?" I asked while holding her oxygen mask. "Tita, Tito, Valfer, she needs this. Why did they take it off?"
Tita looked up at me and shook her head while sobbing. "I'm sorry, Shee. I'm sorry, anak." Dahan dahan kong nilapag ang oxygen mask at tinabihan si Gwen sa kama. I folded my legs while I felt her cold arms. Lumakas ang iyakan habang pinagmamasdan kami. Pati ang mga kaibigan ko ay andito na rin.
I shakily placed my arms over her head and placed my chin on top of it while I held her nape. "Sheena's here, love. Don't be scared ..." I muttered with quivering lips as I massaged her hair. "It's okay. It's okay, bebe. It's okay to leave your Sheena. I'll be okay, I promise. Kakayanin ko." I sobbed against her head. "I love you. I love you, my Gwenny. Matulog ka na. Your Sheena's here." I kissed the side of her head and pulled her closer to me.
When it's time to get her out of the ICU and transfer her to embalming room, I excused myself and went to the rooftop. Naramdaman ko ang malamig na hangin. I could barely open my eyes because it was swollen from all the crying.
Binuksan ko ang cellphone ni Gwen because I needed to hear her voice. I saw a recording named 'just in case'. Hindi ko pa napapakinggan 'to kasi binabalik balikan ko 'yung iba.
"Okay, before you get mad saying that I shouldn't record a goodbye speech because I'm not really leaving, gusto ko lang sabihin na this is just in case I really had to leave you. So ... hi, love."
"Medyo mahaba 'to ah!" She chuckled. "So, remember nung tinanong kita bakit gusto mo ng sunset? Siguro it's time for me to give my answer too. I think sunset was the realization that anothery morning is coming, like a reminder of a new tomorrow, that the darkness doesn't stay for good. Lagi mong sinasabi sa akin na gago ka, na trouble maker ka. You're not bad, Shee. You just had a bad past at tanggap ko 'yon ng buong buo. When I met you, everything changed. Siguro kasi ngayon lang ako nakakilala ng taong sobrang delikado sa paningin ng iba pero hindi ako kayang saktan. I meant it when I said I want to protect you ... nakakatawa siguro coming from a sick lady like me."Â narinig ko ang mahinang tawa niya.
"Wala eh. Mahal kita. With you, I don't think I'm weak or sick. When you kissed me, I felt every bruise disappear. You gave me life. Tinuring mo akong normal so I felt like a regular girl who's in love with a girl who has a weird last name." she teased. A small smile crept upon my lips.
"Bumitaw na siguro ako, no?"Â I nodded my head while wiping my lips. Tumahimik siya nang sandali bago nagsalita ulit. "I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful that you stayed when the world turned its back on me. Pinaramdam mo sa akin na kahit may sakit ako, kahit mahina ako, kamahal mahal pa rin ako."
Who would not fall in love with you? It was so easy. "I'm sorry for letting go, for leaving you kahit na sinabi kong hindi 'yon mangyayari. I'm sorry I couldn't live longer than I wanted to." Gwen sniffed and I already knew she was crying. "Damn. I really wanted to spend my life with you. Gusto kitang makasama hanggang mamatay ako."
You did, love. Kasama mo ako hanggang sa nawala ka. "Basta tandaan mo, whether I was asleep or not, ikaw ang nasa isip ko. So ... I probably died thinking of you, my Sheena."
I frowned while trying to stop the tears from rolling smoothly from my eyes. "I'm sorry for stopping our story here ... But I promise you, love. I will find you in my next life. I will find you in every hospital, in every school, in every beach, in every rooftop, in every sunset. Tingin ka lang sa taas, bebe. Andoon ako...."
Wala na akong nagawa kundi iiyak nang iiyak hanggang sa huling mga salita niya. Tumaas ang mga balahibo ko nang makitang malapit nang matapos ang araw. Palubog na ito.
"Sheena, mahal na mahal na mahal kita. In another life, let's continue CHASING SUNSETS."
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Epilogue next!!! Sorry na agad blooms :((