âStella! I know youâre in there. Open up!â
I buried my face in my silk pillowcase, hoping the voice would go away, but knowing its owner, they would camp out in my hall until I inevitably had to leave for fresh air and food.
My morning visitor was nothing if not persistent.
âStella Alonso! You canât hide from me.â A pause, followed by a more conciliatory, âI have matcha.â
A groan escaped into my pillow.
I shouldnât have put Jules on my list of approved visitors, but I also hadnât expected her to beat down my door atâ¦I raised my head and glanced at my digital clockâ¦seven fifty-four in the morning.
Since she was already here and the chances of her leaving without answers were slim, I forced myself out of bed and into the living room.
I wish Iâd had more time to prepare for human interaction. I hadnât even gotten the chance to wash my face yet, much less meditate or practice my morning yoga.
I stifled a yawn as I swung open the door and blinked at the fuzzy purple-clad figure in front of me.
âItâs about time.â Jules stood in the hall, one hand planted on her hip and the other carrying a drinks tray from a nearby coffee shop. âFive more minutes and I wouldâve broken down your door.â
âWith your arm strength? Doubtful.â
I cracked a smile at her offended gasp. âWho are you and what have you done to Stella? She would say something so hurtful.â
âThe Stella youâre talking about typically doesnât have people pounding down her door at eight in the morning.â
I rubbed a hand over my face. My head felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls, and I couldnât concentrate on anything other than how much Iâd rather crawl back into bed.
âFirst of all, itâs eight oh-five. Second of all, after the bombshell you dropped on Instagram yesterday? Youââ Jules exhaled sharply and smoothed a hand over her fuzzy purple coat. âNo, weâre not doing this in the hallway. Letâs talk inside. Can I come in?â
âWould you leave if I said no?â
Her laser stare burned through her giant sunglasses and into my skin.
I sighed and opened the door wider. âYou mentioned matcha?â
I gave up on coffee years ago because it worsened my anxiety. Matcha lattes were the closest I came to espresso these days.
âYes. Consider this my bribe for all the juicy details.â Jules handed me the drink as she waltzed inside and pushed her sunglasses on top of her head. âNowâ¦â She inhaled a long, deep breath.
I winced at the increasing volume of her questions while a construction crew invaded my head.
Every swing of a hammer reverberated through my skull with bone-rattling force.
How much did I drink last night? Not much, right? I usually limited my alcohol intake to three glasses per night, but I wouldnât be this hungover after three glasses.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to piece the fuzzy pieces from last night together.
.
The memory of my encounter with Christian slammed into me with such force it knocked the breath out of my lungs.
Everything came rushing backâour agreement, the photo I posted, the delicious roughness of his hand in mine when we were talking to Mike, and the headiness of his scent when he pinned me to the wall.
Part of me was annoyed by his overprotectiveness when Iâd just gone to the bathroom, for Godâs sake.
Another larger, more shameful part thrilled at the idea that he cared.
Pathetic? Probably.
True? Undeniably.
No one had cared that much about me since Maura, and Christian and I werenât even really dating.
ââ¦who is it?â
âHmm?â Was Christian at home, or had he already left for the day?
I tried to picture him eating and sleeping like a normal person and couldnât.
âWhoâs your boyfriend?â Jules repeated. âYou didnât tag him, but that â She wiggled her eyebrows. âI can tell just by his hand that heâs hot.â
Another piece from last night slotted into place.
My Instagram post. Iâd been so busy at the gala I hadnât checked my notifications.
I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat. âIââ
âGood morning!â A quick knock on the half-open door interrupted my response. Ava entered, looking far too bright-eyed and fresh-faced for this early in the morning. âAm I late? Did I miss anything good?â She set a white Crumble & Bake bag on a side table. âBreakfast pastries,â she explained, following my gaze.
She opened the bag and handed out muffins.
My mouth watered at the smell.
At least my friends brought food to my interrogation. I wasnât above accepting bribery.
I almost groaned as the taste of warm, freshly baked muffin exploded on my tongue.
âStella was just about to tell me who her mystery man is.â Jules ripped off a piece of blueberry muffin and popped it into her mouth.
Avaâs face lit up. âI bet heâs hot,â she said. âYou can tell by the watch.â
âThatâs what I said!â Jules beamed. âGreat minds think alike.â
The banana muffin turned sour in my mouth as they stared at me expectantly.
It was one thing to lie on social media; it was another to lie to my friendsâ faces. I didnât tell them everything about my lifeâthey thought I had a great relationship with my family, and they didnât know about Maura. Being the âperfectâ family was so important to my parents that sharing anything that didnât align with that felt more difficult than it should have.
Ava and Jules were my best friends, yet I still kept so much of my life to myself.
But could I stand here and tell them Christian and I were dating when we werenât? Not really, anyway.
Theyâd only asked for his name, not the details of our relationship. Iâd cross that bridge when I got to it.
âHeâsââ
I was interrupted yet again, this time by the insistent ring of my phone.
I didnât have to check caller ID to know who was calling, and a quick glance at the incoming FaceTime proved me right.
âHi, Bridget.â I rubbed my face again. I would kill for some yoga right now. I never felt right when I started the day without it. âI assume youâre calling to join the inquisition?â
âFunny.â Bridget raised an elegant blonde brow. âBut since you mention it, yes. This is the time Iâve been kept out of the loop regarding your love lives. I donât appreciate it.â
Last summer, Jules shocked us all when she announced she was dating Avaâs brother Josh. Josh and Jules had hated each other since the day they met, and a romantic relationship between them had seemed as likely as snowfall in Miami.
However, they were still going strong after they made things official seven months ago, so I guess the old adage was true. There really was a thin line between love and hate.
Despite the nerves coiled in my stomach, I had to fight a laugh at Bridgetâs uncharacteristic grumbling.
âIâm sure you have more things to worry about than our love lives, ,â I teased.
Sheâd been a princess during our college days, but she became queen after her older brother abdicated and her grandfather stepped down due to health reasons.
It still boggled my mind that I was best friends with a literal queen, but Bridget was so down to earth I forgot she was royalty half the time.
She wrinkled her nose. âMore things? Yes. More things? Debatable.â
âGuys, please. Letâs get things back on track,â Jules said. âWho have you been hiding from us, Stel? Give us a name. Picture. Anything.
I need to know before I die from curiosity.â
She flopped onto the couch in a dramatic heap.
I shook my head.
If I looked up in the dictionary, Iâd find Jules Ambroseâs face next to it, but I loved her anyway. At least she was into fun drama and not the nasty, backstabbing kind.
âFine. Iâll tell you, but donât freak out.â I drew my bottom lip between my teeth. âItâs Christian Harper.â
Three blank stares greeted my confession.
I couldnât remember the last time my friends had been this speechless. They usually talked more than a daytime talk show host.
The taste of copper filled my mouth from how hard I was biting my lip.
âRhysâs old boss?â Bridgetâs brow creased with confusion.
Her husband Rhys used to work for Harper Security. That was actually how they met. Heâd been assigned to her after her previous bodyguard returned home to Eldorra for paternity leave.
âYes.â
âWhat does he have to do with this?â Jules looked equally confused.
âHeâs my boyfriend.â
Still nothing. I might as well be talking to the Madame Tussaudâs wax versions of my friends for all the reaction they showed.
âWhoâs your boyfriend?â Ava asked.
Oh, for goodnessâ sake.
I threw my hands up. âHeâs the guy in the photo I posted last night! Weâre dating. Well, fake dating, but thatâs another story.â
Silence stretched for a long, stunned second before chaos erupted.
â
?â
âWhat do you mean, âHeâs dangerousââ
âHow long has this been going onââ
âIs he forcing you into this, because I saw the way he looked at youââ
â
.â I pinched the bridge of my nose.
This was why I didnât share things about my life often. Not because I didnât want accountability, but because of other peopleâs reactions and expectations, whatever they may be.
I forced a calming breath through my nose before I addressed my friendsâ points one by one.
âYes, Christian is my fake boyfriend. Like I said, itâs a long story. He is dangerousâI mean, heâs a little intense, but he runs a security company. His job is literally to protect peopleâs lives. Plus, heâs friends with Rhys, so he canât be that bad. Last night was our first fake date, and no, he is not forcing me into this.â
The last part was definitely true. The rest was debatable, but I kept that to myself.
âI wouldnât say heâs friends with Rhys. They haveâ¦â Bridget paused, âan interesting relationship.â
âForget Rhys,â Jules said. âNo offense, Bridge. Heâs great and all, but I want to know about the boyfriend part. Stel, you donât even want a real relationship. Why on earth are you in a fake one? Are you in trouble?â Concern dimmed some of the sparkle in her eyes.
Guilt flared to life in my chest.
I hated burdening people with my problems, but I shouldâve anticipated their worry. Any romantic relationship was out of the norm for me. I wasnât opposed to dating, I justâ¦wasnât interested.
I liked the of it. When I read a romance book, watched a romantic scene, or saw cute couples at dinner, a yearning for something similar tugged at my gut. But once the book or movie was over and I re-entered the bright light of reality, the yearning disappeared.
Romanticizing love was easy. Falling in love was harder, especially when my previous relationships had all lackedâ¦
. Some sort of emotional connection that would make the risk of falling worth it.
Plus, Iâd gotten used to being single, and I doubted the reality of love could live up to my fantasies of it, so I didnât even try.
âIâm not in trouble. I promise,â I said when I noticed Julesâs skeptical expression. âI justâ¦â
My skin heated at how shallow that sounded.
The truth was more complicated, but I couldnât dig into it without telling my friends about Maura, and was a conversation I wasnât prepared to have at eight-thirty in the morning.
âIâm in the running for a huge brand deal, but I donât have as many followers as some of the other girls. I figured I could improve my chances if I hit the million mark.â
Bridgetâs frown deepened. âHow does that tie in with getting a boyfriend?â
I reluctantly explained the rest of my plan. It sounded even more ridiculous when I said it out loud to people who werenât familiar with the influencer world, but there was no point in holding back.
When I finished, the silence was a thousand times heavier than the one before.
âWow,â Ava finally said. âThatâsâ¦wow.â
âIs sex part of the deal? If itâs not, it should be. Christian looks like he would be a in bed.â As expected, Jules was the first to get over her shock and jump straight to the dirty part. âNo offense, but you could use a little lovinâ in your life. As much as we adore you, there are some things we canât provide.â
âNo, it isnât, and it never will be,â I said firmly.
Iâd made it clear to Christian that our arrangement wouldnât encompass any physical displays of affection unless they were necessary to sell our public image as a couple.
Sex didnât factor into the equation.
No matter how gorgeous he was or how good he be in bed.
My skin heated at a mental image of a nakedâ
This was what happened when I missed my morning routine. My brain freaked out and started picturing things it had no business picturing.
I couldnât even remember the last time Iâd fantasized about sex, let alone had it.
âAre you everythingâs okay?â Avaâs concern was palpable. âYouâve never cared that much about your follower count before.â
I hadnât obsessed over it the way other bloggers did, but saying I didnât care was giving me too much credit.
Everyone trying to grow a platform on social media cared, and those that said they didnât were lying.
Those little numbers could wreak havoc on anyoneâs mental health.
âIâm not trying to be combative,â Ava added softly. âIf this is what you want to do, weâll support you. It just seems a littleâ¦â
âOut of character,â Bridget finished.
I stared at the half-empty takeout cup in my hand. âMaybe. But maybe itâs also time to try something new.â
I was twenty-six. Iâd had one ârealâ job since I graduated and no significant developments in my personal or professional lifes. I considered blogging my second job, but a lot of people didnât and I hated how I let their opinions affect the many hours of real work I poured into writing, styling, photography, and social media.
I was basically doing the same thing Iâd been doing since college, only I was older and a little more jaded.
Meanwhile, Ava had moved to London (even if itâd only been temporary), got engaged, and landed her dream job traveling the world as a photographer; Bridget got married and became a freaking and Jules passed the bar, became a high-powered attorney, and moved in with her boyfriend.
Everyone was starting new chapters of their lives while I was stuck in the prologue, waiting for my story to be told.
I swallowed the bitterness coating my tongue. If I didnât shake things up, Iâd be an unfinished manuscript forever. A thousand potential words that never made it onto the page. Someone who been something instead of someone who something.
âUnderstandable. Change is the spice of life,â Jules agreed. Her face softened before she added, âLike Ava said, weâre not trying to challenge you on this. We just want to make sure itâs what you really want. If youâre happy, weâre happy.â
âI know.â I cracked a tiny smile. âAt the risk of sounding completely cheesyâ¦I love you guys.â
âDid you hear that?â Jules placed a hand over her chest and looked at Ava. âShe loves us. She really loves us!â
âYou know what that means,â Ava said solemnly.
âYou guysââ I barely had a chance to put my drink down before they tackled me in a hug. âStop!â I laughed, my earlier melancholy melting beneath their affection.
âDonât mind me. Iâm just over here in Eldorra, not jealous at all,â Bridget said.
I raised my phone so we could see her again. She wore a half-amused, half-envious expression.
âYou need to visit us soon. We miss you.â
We hadnât seen her in person since Avaâs birthday last year, when sheâd surprised us at the party.
âI will, I promise.â Bridget grew serious. âIn the meantime, be careful with Christian. Heâs not the type of man who does anything out of the goodness of his heart.â
No, he wasnât. But I didnât need Bridget to tell me that.
After my friends left an hour later with promises not to tell anyone, including their significant others, about my deal with Christian, I showered and brewed myself a fresh pot of tea before I finally picked up my phone. I stared at the Instagram icon on my screen and held my breath as I tapped into my profile.
I stared at my numbers, sure I was hallucinating.
Over one hundred thousand likes, four thousand comments, and ten thousand new followers overnight.
I pinched myself and flinched at the sharp burst of pain.
Iâd expected good engagement on the photo with Christian, but I hadnât expected .
Giddiness ballooned in my chest while my mind raced with possibilities.
Would another photo with Christian go viral in a similar manner, or was this a one-off because it was the first one?
There was only one way to find out.
Visions of a million followers, six-figure brand deals, and paying an entire yearâs worth of Mauraâs care in one go with savings left over danced in my head.
Maybe Iâd signed a deal with the devil when I agreed to my arrangement with Christianâ¦
But that didnât mean it wasnât worth it.