The words from Dhruv that day was something I could not get out of my head. Dr Arshan was Rani's ex boyfriend. Not only that, but they were together at the bar. Why had Rani lied to me? Is that why she wanted to stay in my body? Because she still had feelings for him and not her husband?
I tried not to think about it, I truly did. Every time I thought about Dhruv and seeing him smile around me, however, made me wonder if what I was doing was the right thing. When everything changed back to how it was supposed to, Rani would only be mean and indifferent again, right? She had told me to stop because she didn't like him. That was the only way she would treat him. That would hurt Dhruv. It wasn't right.
What else was I supposed to do? Give him the silent treatment which is something that Rani would do? After I'd already established some sort of connection with him?
I was flicking through the notes for the meeting that Rani had mentioned and hadn't realised that my distracted thoughts had taken over well over the night until the door bell rang. I opened it, only to reveal Dhruv holding a medium-sized black dog, one eye gray and cloudy, the other a big, light brown. It was the dog that Dhruv mentioned bringing home for us to look after and I squealed. I reached out, scratching it behind its ear and it stuck its tongue out, breathing heavily.
"Her name's Kippie," he said before I could ask, putting her down. She licked my hand and nuzzled it before heading back over to Dhruv, using him as a shield.
"She seems to like you," I said, ushering the both of them inside.
"I think she just likes that I give her my full attention. She'll be all over you in a sec."
Dhruv placed a blue bag on the floor as I quickly gathered my files and notes so that Kippie wouldn't think they were toys. "I brought her bedding and some toys for you two to get acquainted with each other while I take a shower."
I sat down criss-cross and grabbed the rope toy as Kippie sniffed around, the back of my neck tingling. I turned to catch Dhruv staring at meâhe had been standing by the end of the staircase. His hair was completely mussed, from the wind or from the exertion of the job, I couldn't tell. That, paired with the knitted brows made him look like a confused little boy.
"I'd always thought you were afraid of dogs," he said to me before I was able to ask him what was wrong. "I was shocked when you'd said yes to taking her in."
A noise of surprise caught in my throat. I thought back to when Rani had asked me if there were any pets in the building. Of course she was afraid! Why was I so silly to not see that? "Oh, um, yes but I have had a lot of free time lately and watching dog movies on Netflix has made me want to experience it for myself."
The explanation seemed slightly believable because the crease in his face was gone. Kippie bumped into the table and I gently guided her to walk toward me so I could massage the area she had hit. That explained the one grey eyeâshe was blind. I thought she'd want to play but it seemed as if she was as exhausted as Dhruv because she nestled her head in my lap. I leaned over and kissed her atop her head.
"You might not want to do that. I haven't given her her bath yet. She was rolling around in God knows what today."
"Bleugh!"!I stuck out my tongue, turning my head to the side to spit. "Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Maybe because I wanted to see you kiss some poo off her head?"
"Chi! Dhruv!" I grabbed a pillow from the couch and aimed it at him.
"Wait, I was just kidding!" He rushed up the stairs when I flung it. I missed horribly but his laugh rang out and I couldn't help but snigger myself.
That was enough to help me make my decision.
It was too late to stop like Rani had said. She refused to help me find a way to change back so I could refuse her, too.
***
"What do you think, Kippie?" I brought out two outfits, one in each hand and turned toward our dog. She sat near the end bed post obediently, turning her head to the side as if she didn't understand what I was talking about.
Which she didn't.
I surveyed the black leather skirt and the nice, plain red t-shirt in one hand and the ruffled-hem kurti and jeans in the other. It was my first time meeting Dhruv's friends after all. It wasn't Rani's first time but it was my first time and I had to make a good impression. The skirt and top would be very pretty but something told me that going plain and simple would be the best.
So I opted for the kurti top with purple, pink and gold in one gradient mix and cute bell sleeves. When the bell rang, I waved for Kippie to follow me. "Let's go, girl," I said, high-pitched as we headed down the stairs. Despite being blind, it was as if she had memorised the parts of the house already because she bounded down at supernatural speed, ready to greet the guests at the door.
Anish was a short man but he was very fit, his t-shirt looking like it was about to explode if he took another step. His hair was shaved down to a buzz cut that he ran his palm over, warily glancing at Kippie.
The woman, Sandra, was tall and chubby but absolutely beautiful with thin, angled eyebrows and big pouty red lips. Her thick lashes cast shadows on her golden cheeks as she bent down to pet Kippie. "Oh my god, you got a dog!" She squealed.
Anish walked around her, pressing his back against the wall. "You're scared of dogs?" I asked, trying to keep the smile off my face.
"N-No, I'm just not fond of them as much."
"That's code for very afraid," whispered Dhruv to me. He headed toward the kitchen as Anish glared at him. He handed everyone a cup of homemade mango juice, except for me.
"Is there none for me?" I asked. "Mango juice is my favourite."
He blinked. "I thought pomâ" He glanced between Anish and Sandra before nodding. "My bad."
As I took a big swallow of my juice that he handed over to me, Anish said, "Aren't you scared of them, too?" Of dogs? At first I thought he was asking Dhruv that but then saw his light brown eyes were trained on me. They all knew Rani and would know that she was scared of them.
I told them the same thing I told Dhruv, "I was but I've been watching a lot of dog movies. They are so adorable and I thought this was a perfect opportunity to get over my fear."
"At least you're not a coward," Sandra said with a snicker. "Some of us will take our fears to our grave."
Anish rolled his eyes, mumbling, "Being afraid of dogs is a very legitimate fear, thank you very much."
Dhruv came back, his 'Kiss the Chef' apron back on. "Are you going to sit down or bicker like an old married couple?"
"I'm pretty sure that was you and Rani just a few weeks ago. That all changed?"
Dhruv and I exchanged a glance. Sandra caught this. "You've made up?" She clapped her hands when we didn't say anything. "That's amazing!" Dhruv and Anish moved over to the dining table whilst she hooked her arm through mine and dragged me toward the couch, Kippie trailing behind us. "So? Tell me the secret. What did you do?"
"What did I do?" I repeated.
"I mean, I don't know what happened exactly but how are you guys on good terms again?"
"We...talked."
"Oh, come on, Rani," whined Sandra. She pouted her already pouty lips at me, shaking my arm that was still looped in hers. "What's the secret behind it? There has to be a reason for you to change your mind so quickly! Last I saw you two were either always arguing or not even talking. So I need to know." The desperation in her tone made me think she really did need to know. "Was it angry, open-minded sex?"
I choked on my own saliva at this abrupt question and shot up from the couch, announcing to the world, "I need to pee."
Dhruv and Anish stopped their conversation to stare at me as I rushed up the stairs. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I hoped it would break apart into two any second so I didn't have to go back down again. I hadn't even headed into the direction of the bathroom, and from where they stood, they probably saw that.
I hit my forehead with my palm repeatedly as I paced back and forth, feeling it turn a little warm from the contact. Why are you such an idiot? Why why why? That's normal talk for married couples. Normal, Mouna. N.O.R.M.A.L. You are not a child.
The advice I gave myself worked a little even though it did nothing to ease the tightness in my throat or the swirling in my stomach that reminded me of the time I vomited on Dhruv. I didn't want a repeat of that. Not on Dhruv, not on anyone.
Once the heat in my body settled, I came out of the bedroom door and slowly made my way down. Sandra was taking a sip of her mango juice and upon seeing me, snickered. She grabbed my hand and yanked me down next to her. I was starting to understand she was a little aggressive.
"I didn't take you for the shy type," she whispered, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"I'm not shy!"
"You are, oh my god. Since when is Rani Kapoor shy?" She threw her head back against the couch and laughed. "It's like your honeymoon phase all over again."
"What do you mean?"
She held out her hand to absentmindedly pet Kippie who sat between our legs on the floor. "You two were inseparable after you got married. I don't think I've seen you two look so happy since then." Oh. I watched Sandra stare straight ahead, eyes glazed over as if she was thinking about something. I wanted to ask her if she was okay when she blinked, the cloudiness replaced by a glimmer of amusement. "Anish was so scared of you but whatever you two did to get rid of this animosity has done wonders."
"He was scared of me?" I repeated.
"Who's scared of who?" Anish came by, standing as far away from Kippie and us as possible.
"You," Sandra mumbled, taking another swallow of her juice.
"What? I'm not scared of anything."
"Kippie and Rani are two things you're afraid of." Dhruv came by to give both Sandra and I a plate of food.
"I could have helped you," I whispered and he only shook his head.
"It's fine. It was nothing," he whispered back.
"Bullshit," Anish exclaimed.
"I'd say Rani more," Sandra was saying in the background. "Why do you think we barely came over to see you guys?" Was Rani that intimidating? "But I still love you. I just don't do texting or calling 'cause it's overrated."
I laughed. As pushy and aggressive as Sandra was, she meant well. I snuggled into her despite myself and she placed her head on mine. "Come over again," I told her. "I want to show you the recipes I've learnt to cook."
"You've been cooking, too?"
"She cooks better than me, now," Dhruv said, chewing on the mini sandwich he'd given out.
Sandra gaped at me. "Girl, you've been keeping yourself busy."
"If you want to learn any recipes to impress Anish, don't hesitate to ask me."
Her smile dimmed for a brief second, gaze flitting toward Anish who was on his phone briefly. "Oh hell yes."
I knew that as Rani it would be easy to get along with their friends, but I didn't realise how much fun they were until I had the chance to speak to them myself.