Chapter 64

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Chapter 64

“You’ve never been hungry in your life, have you?”

“……”

“You’ve never experienced having to share one piece of hard bread among six people—you’ve never cried because you’re hungry, right?”

Never, of course not. There was no need to hear a response. It wasn’t even a question that needed to be asked towards the Duke of Efret.

“While cleaning at night, you’ve never experienced a sick pervert approaching you while he’s taking off his clothes, right?”

“Clothes…?”

His voice went up slightly as though he was shocked.

“One copper coin, ah, never mind a gold coin. If it’s silver coins, it would be like a fairy tale to have a lot. Just one more, one more coin, I tried so hard to earn just one more through my own means.”

Thinking of that time, the tip of my nose scrunched up.

“Because the amount of money I receive would decide what my younger siblings would eat. In the worst case, we had to starve again.”

Words continued to spill on and on.

“I’m fine with that, well, no it’s not actually fine, but when I saw how my younger siblings held it in and never complained even though they were hungry… That was the most difficult thing.”

It was really hard back then. Rather, it was only bearable when it was just me who was hungry.

But my younger siblings tried so hard to hide it when their stomachs were growling. And it was the same with the twins.

At some point, all the food we had was saved for the youngest.

She made warm soup for our cousins—her children—but we were never given the same share.

I would scrape the bottom of the pot, save only half a bowl, and I’d give that to the youngest.

“Even if I barely make some money and collect enough coins to fill a bowl… the debtors would come and take them all.”

Thinking about it made me sadder.

“We still needed to eat even though we had debts, so I begged them to leave a little. Some of them threw a few coins as if they were being generous enough. And I gave those few coins to my aunt.”

Huh, why was it wearing off.

I think the source of this trouble in the first place… was now losing its hold over me.

The self-realization of being drunk all by myself sunk in all at once. That’s why I was now lamenting over everything I had rambled.

As I talked, I suddenly noticed that he was too quiet.

“……”

When I lifted my gaze carefully, he calmly stared back at me.

‘What are you thinking about?’

“I’m sorry.”

“…If you’re sorry, then please drink.”

I managed to open the last bottle.

Then, I poured liquor into the glass and held it out to him.

Receiving a glare from above, I just continued to urge the glass towards him.

“Why are you just staring? This is punishment, your punishment. You said you were sorry.”

I pushed the drink closer to him, but the liquid inside splashed and created a red mark over his chest.

Oops.

While I was overcome with a strange feeling as I looked down at the red liquid spreading strangely over his chest, Amoide looked at the glass that I pushed towards him.

He took the glass without saying a word. And he drank its contents all at once.

…You can drink slowly. What if you collapse?

I watched him drink it in one shot, feeling anxious for some reason.

Even the common, trivial action of wiping off the moisture at the corner of his lips looked exquisite.

“What if I win?” Amoide asked.

“Tell me. I’ll listen to anything.”

“What do you think I’ll wish for?”

Sure, if this is how you want to start. With a smile on my lips, I hummed.

“You think I don’t know?”

“Try guessing.”

As he said this, he opened one button on his shirt.

“If you win, I’ll get lost just as you want.”

I saw one of his brows twitch.

“That’s right, I’ll disappear as if I’ve never been in your life in the first place.”

“……”

“Just look at how I am, even though I don’t like it. I’m the one who came here just to give birth to a son. Me, that’s me!”

I pounded my chest. Perhaps I hit too hard, but a groan leaked out without me realizing it.

As I rubbed my chest with my fist, he spoke.

“You sound happy admitting that.”

There was a surge of anger.

‘How heartless.’

Well indeed, I was a hopeless person to him.

For him, I was someone who couldn’t even raise a dog.

Since he was reluctant to drink, that meant he was weak to alcohol.

Of course, I’ll win.

At the back of my mind, I knew that I wasn’t thinking rationally, but that didn’t matter right now.

“Then, do you wanna bet?”

I asked loudly as I lifted the glass up high.

“…Sure.”

A smile curled up on his lips.

“Now then, drink up, drink up.”

I started pouring alcohol excitedly.

The trickling alcohol fell towards his seat and soaked the hem of his clothes.

And all I could do was watch as his pants became drenched with spilled alcohol.

Amoide was the one who was spattered with the drink, but because there was so much dripped on the floor, even the edges of my dress got wet.

On his pants, over the area of his thighs and pelvis, there was a dark stain full of moisture.

“How did this—Sorry.”

I lifted my fluttering dress and began to wipe off the alcohol on his clothes.

“Stop.”

He dissuaded me, but my hands didn’t stop.

“I’ll wipe it off for you.”

The alcohol also went between his legs.

Even after being absorbed by the sofa he was sitting on, the remaining alcohol trickled, and the soaked pants were stuck to his legs, revealing the shape of his thighs.

I did my very best to wipe it all off with my dress. On top of his strong thighs, in that area between his legs…

“I said stop it.”

His tone grew sharp.

“Why? I need to wipe it off, then change it…”

My murmurs were drowned out by his roar.

“I told you to stop!”

He removed my hand from his body roughly.

Because of that momentum, I was pushed and I hit the back of a chair.

“Ack.”

Then, there was a moment of silence. Rather than feeling the pain I surely received from hitting my back, another shock was slowly crawling up on me.

‘Is it to this extent?’

He grabbed my hand so hard that a small groan came out, but he didn’t relax his grip.

“……”

I lifted my head and looked at him. The sight of his red face and him huffing was enough to tell me how mad he was.

“I was just going to wipe it off.”

My face turned equally red, but it was due to embarrassment.

“I don’t need it.”

His tone was harsh and his expression was stiff like a piece of wood.

No, this is… This is too much.

I was only going to wipe it off for you. I know I made a mistake, but why must you push me away with so much disgust in your eyes.

From the bottom of my heart, sadness rose.

“Why are you so angry?”

My words trembled. The moment he pushed me away, the sadness I had in me burst out.

“Do you hate me that much?”

“……”

“Even touching you for one second is that appalling?”

At that moment, the lid over my heart was removed.

“Just… Just…”

I trembled.

“Just how could you, huh? How could you be so cold for two entire years, huh?”

“…Huh?”

His brows furrowed.

“Did I say any lies?”

“Just return to your room now.”

I heard the sound of a chair being dragged. At that moment, I couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Because of you! I heard all kinds of harsh words from your mother! No matter how much you hate me, how could you stare at me so coldly every time. I was only going to make you healthy!”

“And how would you have done that?”

His response was dry.

“I was just going to make you better little by little, but…”

“But you can’t rid me of this illness because you don’t know the cause?”

I was already slurring my speech. My tongue was as twisted as my heart was constrained.

“It’s not just your body that’s ill, even your heart is. It’s twisted up real bad.”

“What?”

“Then do you think it isn’t? Twisted up like intestines! Listen to me while I’m talking! Do you think the person saying this isn’t worried about you?”

“You’re worried about me?”

“Of course!”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my husband!”

I raised my head and yelled.

“……”

“And I know you’re not on my side! But you’re my husband! No, to you I’m less than a stranger! But I’m! Going to save you! And I’ll also…”

I’ll also live. I held back my next words and shut my mouth.

“You’ll also what?”

“Ah, anyway, wouldn’t it be good if you become healthy?”

“Get lost.”

He said this with a scowl.

Snap.

And I heard something snapping in my head.

“You’re impotent aren’t you! You impotent scumbag!”

And at that moment, silence fell.

“What did you just say?”

As he got closer, he smelled like alcohol. He was also affected by it. Oh my god.

Even in my dazed mind, I knew that I was in big trouble.

Im. po. tent. Scum. bag.

All the influence and the haze that I had so far… disappeared. My rationality returned at once as though I was dumped with buckets of ice-cold water.

“Huh?”

He took a step closer to me. The way he looked down at me was terrifying.

In the dark, his shining blue eyes were like well-sharpened blades.

As always, the moment he stood close to me, I felt an undeniably frightening pressure.

‘I’m going to get hit at this rate.’

The air around him was so intense and terrifying that I thought I’d really get hit.

I instinctively raised my arms to cover myself.

Then, the moonlight permeating through the window was blocked by his large physique. After that, only darkness could be found.

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