Ollie vB: I think she is fucking with me.
Zach Sun: Can you be more specific? Every woman on Planet Earth screwed you at some point.
Ollie vB: Very funny, Mr. 30-something-year-old virgin.
Ever since weâd found out that Zach was a virgin when he met his wife, Iâd been meticulous about reminding him of that every single minute of the day.
Ollie vB: Briar. She canât be this insufferable.
Romeo Costa: How do you mean?
Ollie vB: She just planned the worst wedding in the history of matrimony.
Romeo Costa: What do you care? The wedding isnât real.
Zach Sun: OR IS IT.
Romeo Costa: Weâre time-sharing the yacht, Zach.
Zach Sun: Screw that. You said two weeks. I said one. Whoever is closest to the timeline wins. And yes, Iâm sitting here with a stop watch.
Ollie vB: I donât think you understand. She isnât Dallas. Her mission in life is not to make people around her lose their sanity. She is usually mild and funny and awesome.
Romeo Costa: Looks like you have the tendency to bring the worst out of people.
Zach Sun: This is true. Remember that married one who tried to set your house on fire?
Romeo Costa: Or the ditzy socialite who tried to kidnap your dogs?
Zach Sun: Or the fangirl who attempted to steal your sperm?
Ollie vB: Iâm going to cry.
Zach Sun: Please livestream. You know I love a good meltdown.
Ollie vB: She is as infuriating as she is hot.
Romeo Costa: What does that mean?
Ollie vB: That Iâm about to get a heart attack, mostly.