Ollie vB: Does anyone know someone high up at the New York Times?
Zach Sun: If this is about the anal beads jewelry store you wanted to open, I doubt theyâd review it.
Ollie vB: Someoneâs jealous.
Romeo Costa: You spelled disgusted wrong.
Ollie vB: No, itâs not about my anal beads startup. Itâs something else.
Zach Sun: Is it hush money or intimidation, so they donât run an article about you? Because that wonât work.
Ollie vB: Why must you always think the worst about me?
Romeo Costa: Uh, because weâve known you more than five minutes?
Zach Sun: Farrow says you and Briar made out in the kitchen.
Ollie vB: I donât kiss and tell.
Romeo Costa: According to Dallas, you did a lot of telling without doing any of the kissing. Is it true that you are not a lothario?
Ollie vB: JESUS CHRIST.
Ollie vB: Do women share EVERYTHING?
Zach Sun: Save for menstrual pads, I think so.
Romeo Costa: I wouldnât put it past my wife to be that kind of an oversharer, too.
Zach Sun: So, whatâs the purpose of hooking up with your squatter?
Ollie vB: She is not a squatter. She is my fake fiancée.
Romeo Costa: Nah. You donât get to use that trope when the girl in question doesnât consent to being your fake fiancée.
Ollie vB: If I were you, I would not weigh in on the topic of consent.
Romeo Costa: That was entirely different.
Ollie vB: HOW?
Ollie vB: You dragged Dallas kicking and screaming and all but locked her away. Your whole relationship is one big Stockholm syndrome, my guy.
Romeo Costa: Weâre a different genre.
Ollie vB: DIFFERENT GENRE?
Romeo Costa: Yes. Iâm not a fuckboy, like you. Iâm an emotionally damaged, dark alpha hero, who just needed a little guidance to fall in love.
Zach Sun: Someone dipped into his wifeâs smut collection after hearing her rave about Briarâs smut-reading ex. Exactly how jealous were you?
Romeo Costa: Enough to crack open a spine ⦠of a custom-bound Wattpad novel. Do you know what the kids are reading these days?
Romeo Costa: Never mind. Back to the fuckboy.
Ollie vB: First of all, Iâm a fuckMAN, thank you very much.
Ollie vB: Second of all, the only guidance you need is a map to the nearest prison. You kidnapped that girl.
Romeo Costa: Well, she seems content enough to stay, and weâre even working on a second kid, so â¦
Ollie vB: Gross.
Zach Sun: @OllievB, what are you planning with the New York Times?
Ollie vB: Oh, youâll just have to wait and see.