Rafe mulled over the information that he'd just found out, but Nora's body language shouted loud and clear that it was not something she wanted to discuss so he changed the topic. It was great to ask questions about Nora without the walls up so high and Joyce was more than happy to indulge him.
The small lunch had turned into a full-blown boozy brunch that lasted for the entire day. On his part, he didn't drink much more that day, but he and Simon went down to the local store to get more wine and cider. There was drinking, laughing and lots of eating and he found out more about Nora, her childhood and her family. Benny and Simon left to catch a movie at the cinema. Rafe volunteered to stay behind to help tidy up and even managed to watch a movie with her until he started falling asleep. It was 10.30, and the windows were pitch black.
"I should head home," Rafe said, ungluing himself from the soft armchair as the credits rolled on the screen. He didn't want to think about that long cold walk back to his dorm in the dark.
"You're welcome to stay in the guest bedroom if you like." Nora offered.
"Thank you, but I'll go."
Nora stretched and stifled a yawn. "I've packed you some food to take back to the dorm. Give me back the Tupperware tomorrow."
"Cheers."
Her grandmother had already gone to sleep, leaving them alone to watch the movie. It was his first time at Nora's house, but he felt like he'd lived there forever. It wasn't luxurious like the houses he was used to, but it was quaint and cosy, and most of all, it was a happy home. He really didn't want to leave.
Nora opened the front door and followed him out to open the front gate.
"Thanks again for today. It's been great," Rafe said, tucking his hands into the front pockets of Benny's hoodie. Having had such a wholesome afternoon, it was almost as if this morning had been a bad dream. He wondered if he'd dream of his mother again. She was always a blur of a beautiful woman that his brain conjured up from the handful of photos he had.
Maybe it was for the best that he didn't remember most of her; it would have been too painful.
"Sorry if I made a total idiot of myself earlier today."
"I'm used to you being an idiot," she murmured with a smile, leaning against the gate.
"Yeah. I am. I got into a huge fight with my dad, and now he's blocked all my cards."
She frowned. "Why? You're getting good grades. You haven't been in a fight. Your football team is winning all the games."
"I told him I'd be flying out to Italy to mum's grave, and I didn't care what he said. He got pissed off and cut off access to all of my allowance. He told me not to set foot in London, or Milan, or anywhere else."
"I'm sorry," Nora muttered.
"It's all her, I think. Bianca. I think she was winding my dad up about me. He's never been this pissed off about me before. Or maybe my dad hates me too now. I've brought him nothing but headaches."
"Well, once you get your offer from LBS, you'll redeem yourself."
"But that means I can't afford to pay for my lessons anymore," Rafe said the words quickly and looked away when he said it. It killed him to say these words. In front of Nora. To Nora. Rafe Ferreira couldn't afford to pay for his fifty quid an hour of tutoring. This was a new, humiliating, and frustrating feeling for him.
He'd been able to afford anything and everything his heart desired his whole life. Now, suddenly he has to admit that his ass is broke in front of the girl he's beginning to suspect he likes.
"Don't worry. I'll still help you. We have exams coming up next week. We came so close," she was so casual about it his heart soared. She would help him. Not for money, but just because she wanted to.
"Really?" he asked with a grin.
"Sure! Kind of grew on me to bully you."
"Gee, thanks," Rafe said.
Nora chuckled and shrugged. "You can always pay me back with interest once your dadgives you back your allowance."
He blew out a sigh. "You're brutal, Nora."
Nora stopped leaning on the gate and came closer, looking up at him with those dark eyes that reflected the warm lights of the cottage. "You know Rafe," she began, "you're not thefirst or the last teenager to be rebellious, get in trouble and get grounded. In your case, it's abit extreme, but you're not from an ordinary family right? This is not a case of your fatherrejecting you or hating you â just trying to get some control over you. You feel abandoned here, but you're really not, are you? You're grounded. Not abandoned. I don't think your family hates you, they love you, they care and that's why they're trying to get you to walk the right path."
He needed to hear these words. He'd never understand how Nora could see right through him when he couldn't even guess what mood she was in that morning, but it was just what he needed. And when put into that perspective, she had a point. His father did check up on him every other week though Mr Lindsey. His brother Emile called him every weekend, and even Bianca sent warmer winter clothes for him.
"Make sure you revise. We have a test tomorrow."
"We just did!" he said, pointing at her house.
"Watching Great Gatbsy is hardly revision. More like a fun recap."
"I do admit that movie was great. It's going to my top favourites."
"I'm glad."
"So are you going to dodge the elephant in the room?" Rafe asked, unable to hold off this conversation for another day.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Um that you went to St. Claires? Why didn't you tell me that you knew me before?"
Nora flustered at his question and fidgeted with the sleeves of her hoodie. "Well, technically, I didn't know you."
She was trying to weasel out of the question. "You definitely knew of me."
"Does it matter?" Nora asked, her earlier good mood and ease seemed to seep out of her. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked away.
"But do you remember we were supposed to meet? Our friends were going to set us up. I had you on Facebook. You were Nora Brandwell from St. Claires. You didn't wear glasses at the time. And you certainly weren't so...nerdy."
"I didn't think it was that big of a deal..."
"Are you crazy? This is not a coincidence! It's like we were meant to meet, eventually. You never came to that party at Craig's. You just disappeared from school, from Facebook, and then much later on, I heard you'd moved to another country."
"No one told you why?"
Rafe shrugged. Maybe they did. He just probably didn't care at that point. Or forgot.
"Rafe. I didn't want to talk about it because, unlike you I have terrible associations with that school, with that crowdâ"
"Why? You were popular!"
"Yeah but at what cost?" Nora snapped. "What was the point? While trying to stay popular, I got an eating disorder. I constantly worried about how I looked and what I was saying. I couldn't be myself. I hated myself. When I tried to do well in school, instead of partying with the 'crowd,' I got bullied. And when my parents divorced, and my father was broke and could no longer pay my tuition, it was a nightmare," her voice cracked.
"Oh shit..."
She took a deep breath to keep her composure.
Rafe saw how hard she was trying not to cry. He took her hand and pulled her into a hug.
"Hey hey...okay we don't have to talk about it. I'm sorry. It's just...it makes so much sense now..." he comforted. Her tiny body snugly fit into his. He breathed in her scent. She smelled of soap and strawberries. In his arms, she trembled a little before sliding her hands around his waist and hugging him back.
"I came here to be invisible," she murmured "Enjoy the peace and small things like the smell of wisteria and conversations with my grandma over a cup of tea. Not survive in that school of obnoxious, shallow, stupid rich kids."
Rafe sighed and tightened his hold on her. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that, had she come to that party where he was waiting for her, they could've been dating. Or, maybe they would've hated each other. Who knows?
He recalled just how brutal the St. Claires girls could be. Hazel was a pussycat compared to them. No wonder Nora walked around school like she didn't care about its social hierarchy.
She'd been at the top in a place like St. Claires. This school must've looked like a playground to her.
He hadn't understood her when she'd said she knew exactly what he was going through. He thought she was just being polite. How could a small-town girl from Berk know what he was going through? But now he realised she'd had it much harder. She had been forced out of London, humiliated by her father's financial ruin and had to adapt to a completely different environment to the one she'd always known.
Then something dawned on him. He replayed the words she had said earlier to him about his father. Nora was a model student and the perfect daughter. Neat, beautiful, caring, keeping out of trouble, getting good grades. Everything his parents want him to be. She lost a big part of her world and was brought here, but she wasn't grounded. She was abandoned. Where were her mom and dad? She had no siblings to talk to and didn't want to let anyone else in her life. The thought alone brought back the melancholy he felt this morning.
"You're awesome; you know that? Thanks for today," he said into her ear. She sniffed and nodded into his chest.
"You needed a friend today," she said with a smile, wiping away the moisture around her eyes. He decided not to ask her any more questions about London.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, justâ I hate talking about it. Why bring up such unpleasant memories, you know?"
"Yep. Got it...But damn, St. Clares girl. No wonder you're such a fucking badass."
She laughed out loud, much to his relief. "Yeah, well, if that school taught me to be good at anything, it's to be a bitch."
"Sexy," he said with a wink.
"Go away Rafaello and never speak of this again," she said, pushing him through the gate, shaking her head.
"A'ight I'll see you tomorrow, boss," he said, giving Nora's pink, tear-stained cheek a light squeeze.