Author note:
AHHHHH! So I was clearing out my laptop before uni and found this chapter. Like I must have written this like 2 years ago but oh my god, I think it would be a crime if I didn't upload it. Reading through it made me cry because I realize how much I miss writing this book, even writing in general.
Anyway enjoy and I hope you find it as funny as I did.
Chapter 17.5 //"Your boobs aren't real but even the best of us sometimes forget"
You know that moment when you're prancing around your bedroom in a poor excuse for a t-shirt and a pair of short shorts. Your hairbrush is placed in the palm of your hand, and you're singing your whole heart and soul out like you are a contestant of some sort of show. Don't act like you've never done it.
That is me right now, belting out the lyrics at the top of my voice from the songs on my playlist. I'm hopping on and off my bed and bringing out all my weird and wonderful dance moves.
And what happens when your phone starts ringing at a deafening volume, well any sane person would scream in shock.
What do I do? I get my ankles twisted together and land face flat on the carpet. I have to drag myself along to my desk and grab my phone to answer the call, all while still lying on the floor.
"Hello?" I groan into the phone.
"Crescent I need your help" The voice is filled with worry, I removed the phone from my ear to catch a peak of the caller ID and take in a sharp breath.
"Tell me what's wrong Elliott"
I roll my eyes at my reply to him, he's probably playing some sort of prank on me.
"It won't shut up, I'm going to kill it but I can't hurt it"
I sigh into the phone "Elliott stop playing riddles with me and tell me what's wrong"
"Even Daniel can't shut it up"
That's when the phone line goes dead.
I jump into action, pulling on a pair of skinny jeans, change into a grey jumper, and tug on my trusty converse. There is a high chance Elliott is playing a prank on me but something makes me get up and leave my house.
I hurry down the street until I reach the Grayson residence and shove the gate open, immediately pressing the doorbell.
The door opens before I can ring it for a second time. Elliott is standing there, wearing a pair of tight jeans, his jumper is sticking to him and his hair is lying flatly on his forehead in a crumpled mess. The sleeves of his grey jumper are rolled up and his face is red as if he has just been shouting.
That's when I hear crying from inside the house, I give Elliott a weird look as I push past him.
I walk into the living room and I stop in the doorway looking at the sight in front of me.
In front of me, Daniel is holding a tiny child. The crying child's back is towards me and Daniel looks up in panic when he hears someone walk in the room.
"Why are you holding a baby?" I ask my brother, my mouth hanging open. Holy shit is this either Elliott or Daniel's child. Or is it their child.
"What are you doing here?" My brother asks rudely.
"Elliott told me to come over, what are you doing here?" I ask my brother eyeing him suspiciously.
Why is he holding this tiny little baby, the baby seems to be crying but unmoving
"You might not know but me and Elliott are best friends and this baby is actually..." Daniel begins sarcastically.
"What are you doing here?" Elliott's deep attractive voice shouts through the hall. Loud footsteps, almost like heals, clink down the hall. My eyebrows furrow, who else would be entering Elliott's house so unexpectedly.
She enters the living room, her hair pin straight flowing down her back, her heels give her an average height and her outfit is so skimpy that I feel like covering the baby's eyes. Aribella.
"What are you doing here?" We both point at each other simultaneously. Aribella's finger is directed at me as mine is directed at her.
Her eyes are in slits and filled with fire. Nice to see you too Aribella.
I turn to Elliott, "Really do you want round 2 of me kicking her butt?"
"Actually for once this has nothing to do with me, I'm on a 'no slut diet' " Elliot throws his hands up and backs away from me slightly like he knows I'm ready to hit him.
"Daniel called me" She announces proudly.
"Why would you call her, I called Crescent?" Elliott asks confused. He turns to look at my brother waiting for a reply.
"Yeh Daniel why call Aribella. Oh and by the way Aribella if you have a thing for my brother just remember that me and him share 100% DNA" She gives me a horrified look.
"We don't have a 'thing'" Daniel snaps. "I just called her cause I thought she would be good with babies"
I think that is the dumbest sentence that has ever come out of my brother's mouth.
"Because she's gotten pregnant with plenty of her own?" I ask and Elliott sniggers.
Aribella hasn't said anything yet. Probably because of the logic that if she fancies Daniel she kinda fancies me.
Before anyone can add another comment, the light crying coming from the baby suddenly turns in to a full-blown shriek.
Daniel jumps back in fright, still clutching on to the tiny infant. He puts his arms out at a full-length away from him. He is almost dangling it and I realize that the cry isn't lifelike and that actually, Daniel is holding a bundle of plastic.
A sudden shriek comes out so alarmingly loud that Daniel lets go of the bundle of plastic as it falls to its plastic death.
Out of nowhere Elliott jumps in the air and dives down to catch the fake child in his arms. He pushes himself up from the ground with one hand and clutches the child to his chest.
I try not to look too closely at Elliott holding on to the child, it's too adorable, the way he's clinging on to it lovingly. Even if the baby is fake.
"Daniel Dawson what kind of a parent are you?" Elliott spits mockingly.
Daniel is now lying face flat in the sofa, completely ignoring the world around him.
"Have you fed her?" I ask taking the child out of Elliott's grasp. It is quite heavy and something about its painted face is quite alarming.
I don't want to say I'm a professional when it comes to children but I have quite a few young relatives so I'm pretty good with them. And I just love babies, they're so delicate and soft.
"Slight problem, neither of us have breasts, that's why I called you" Elliott says proudly. I walk up to him and hit him on the back of his head.
"Ow what was that for?" He groans.
"Sorry I can't deal with your dumbness"
Elliott pouts and I roll my eyes and walk into the kitchen while listening to the baby screeching in my ear.
How do you feed a plastic baby?
I grab some milk from the fridge and click my tongue, thinking about what to do. Finally, I take some tin foil and roll it into a cone then place the tip of it into the plastic painted mouth and pour a glass of milk slowly through it.
Miraculously the crying begins to subside. Either I'm choking it to death or winning Elliott and Daniel an A.
Elliott is standing in the doorway, looking at me. "You know we're matching right?" He signals between us, looking me up and down. We're both wearing grey jumpers that look alike and matching jeans.
"So if you don't mind can I ask why you and Daniel are looking after a plastic doll?"
"We're failing 2 classes and this is for extra credit. Look after this dummy over the weekend, if it's unharmed and somewhat healthy we get to catch up with the rest of the class." He explains simply playing around with a tiny bottle. I'm not looking down at what I'm doing and next thing I know I am covered in milk. I groan out loud and roughly pass Elliott the stupid piece of plastic.
"I wonder what you do with this?" Elliott asks chucking a tiny bottle in the air and gracefully catching it in his palm.
"Elliott!" I shout. I slap the back of his head again "You're supposed to feed the baby with this, now look I'm all wet"
"Abuse this is abuse" Elliott shouts rubbing the back of his head.
"Grayson instead of rubbing your head, rub the babies back till it burps" I brush my hands down my jeans attempting to dry them.
A loud sound echoes through the walls and it doesn't sound very pleasant, and then the only sound in the air is Elliott's shrieking.
"What the fucking HELL!" He shouts.
Daniel and Aribella run into the kitchen as I stare at Elliott, who's covered in some orange liquid with lumps.
Elliott throws the baby to Aribella who squeals and then throws it to Daniel, who lets it drop on the table.
Elliott whips off his jumper and stands there shirtless, breathing heavily.
Guess human milk doesn't agree with plastic babies.
Daniel is laughing, while Aribella doesn't look impressed. "Trust you Elliott to make a mess"
"Would you like baby puke all over you"
Aribella snaps her fingers in front of Elliott's face "Get with it Elliott it's not real"
"Your boobs aren't real but even the best of us sometimes forget"
Slay Elliott!
Daniel walks out the room, I think it's because he' trying so hard not to laugh at Elliott's comment and well, Aribella looks like a boiling kettle and eventually leaves the room after spending a solid 5 minutes glaring at Elliott.
"What now?" Elliott looks at me with his mesmerizing blue eyes. I gaze in to them but have to force myself to look away and not blush. Especially because he's not wearing a shirt.
I bite on my lip. I know Elliott and I hate each other. Most of the time anyway. And I know I'm supposed to be angry with him because we're Elliott and Crescent, that's the way it's supposed to be. But something makes me want to spend a little bit more time with him.
*
"We look so stupid" I grumble as I push the pram down the road.
"You always look stupid, but why do we specifically look stupid right now" Elliott asks as he walks beside me, thank god he's finally wearing a shirt.
"We look like this is our..."
I can't even imagine it. Though there is a blanket nearly completely covering the piece of plastics face and the pram also keeps most of its body hidden from sight. It still looks like, well you know.
"Our child, really Crescent anyone would be dumb to think that you had a chance with me"
"Excuse me Elliott Grayson the reason it would be weird is because we aren't compatible. You and I. Actually there is no you and I" I huff
"Oh honey look at that, how wonderful" An old women comes towards me, I raise an eyebrow at Elliott, who doesn't look very happy.
"How adorable, nowadays all you hear about are divorces" The women comments.
"What's the name?" She asks her dark grey eyes looking at me specifically. Elliott looks ready to come out with the most ridiculous name possible.
"Natasha" I tell her quickly as it's the first name that comes to my mind. Elliott sniggers slightly beside me but the old woman fails to see it.
"How adorable. I can see that the two of you will be very happy together. Always" And she's gone.
Elliott bursts into laughter the second the women leaves and I glare at him. Now what's so funny.
"Natasha, really Dawson. Have you ever thought of that name backwards?"
I furrow my eyebrows as I try and think about it.
"It is Ah Satan" He laughs again. I nudge him harshly with my elbow and he wraps an arm around my shoulder, which I'm sadly unable to shrug off.
"Did you hear what the old lady said Dawson? We're going to be happy together forever!" He mocks.
I finally aggressively shrug his arm off me. "Elliott piss off. We're not a thing and we will never be a thing. I'm just helping you out cause you're my brothers best friend"
"Now Dawson don't you remember what you said earlier, you share 100% of DNA with Daniel. If I'm his best friend I'm practically you're best friend. Oh man, and if I kiss Daniel it'll be like kissing you" He winks.
I can't even be bothered to explain to him that, that is not how it works.
"And why is it that we're looking after the baby and not Daniel?"
"Because I'm going out tonight, so Daniel's on night duty for the baby"
"Going out where?" I ask nonchalantly, pretending like I don't care.
"Nowhere you need to know Dawson" He replies with the most mysterious answer.
"So Elliott what were you going to name the baby before I interrupted you?" I ask trying to get rid of the awkward air.
He grinds his teeth together as he puts on his thinking face.
"I don't know Dawson something's got me leaning towards River" He shrugs.
That name oh, there's something about it. Why would he pick that specific name?
I shrug the thought away.
"Elliott I changed its diapers it's a girl"
"Amelia then, it can be our baby Lea"
"And here's me thinking you are so narcissistic that you would name it River Jr." I joke but my heart is racing.
He points an accusing finger at me "Don't go putting ideas in my head Dawson"
Am I the only one who heard him call it our baby?
*
We somehow end up in a Walmart. I walk in cautiously seeing as we're sort of banned from all Walmarts across the globe but I mean the incident didn't happen in this specific one so I think we are safe. Though I still look around for any wanted posters with Elliott, Alec, Daniel and I's face on it. I push the buggy while I pile necessary foods in Elliott's arms.
Currently he is holding...
Condoms?
"Elliott put them down" I hiss. I'm not going to pay for condoms that will fuel his sex addiction. With other girls may I add.
"Honey we really need these condoms, this is how we ended up with the first one" He points at the buggy, saying it loud enough for everyone to hear.
I gasp, "Elliott how dare you? This child was not a mistake I planned this"
I shake my head. What the fuck am I saying? Elliott looks at me with a nasty grin on his face.
"Ah Dawson, so you like unprotected sex. I'll remember that for future reference"
"Elliott I'm not paying for them put them down"
"Do you want me to get an STD" He pouts.
"Elliott just please stop being annoying and be careful you're going to drop the milk"
"Ok Dawson I'll put them down if you tell me the place in you're bedroom where Daniel has hidden hundreds of condoms"
I sigh heavily. Yes Daniel has more than enough condoms in my bedroom just in case I ever want to have sex and the guy is not prepared. The quantity of condoms in my bedroom is ridiculous, I don't think anyone has that much sex.
Except for Elliott.
I give up on him "Ugh fight me for them Elliott"
"Babe, I'm starting to think you like me pinning you up against things"
The blood flows to my cheeks.
"Elliott stop it you act like everything has to be sexual. I bet you're not even as good as they say you are, I bet that you're not a good kisser"
"You think you're a better kisser than me, Dawson, come here and kiss me then. I'm desperate for you to prove me wrong" He warns me.
In haste, I take a step forward.
He's playing you Crescent.
He stands there ready, his eyes burning into mine. It's as though the words have settled between us and it's my move.
As a coward, I walk away from him dragging the buggy with me.
*
Where is that stupid boy? I have looked through every aisle and called his phone at least 20 times.
I don't even know why I'm so desperately looking for him. I mean I know the way home but...
He told me to kiss him.
It's this sinking feeling that I'm getting in the pit of my stomach that perhaps he's left and maybe I was too harsh.
God Elliott, I hate you for making me feel things. I don't know what things but definitely something.
"Crescent Bay Dawson please come to aisle 7 where you're child awaits" Some sort of intercom announces through the whole store.
I look down at Elliott and Daniel's pretend plastic child; no I'm pretty sure I have 'my child'
I somehow manage to find my legs and make my way to the aisle.
3, 4, 5, 6... 7
I stop dead.
Elliott is sitting on a bench across from aisle 7, where an old guy in a uniform stands next to him, looking like he's reassuring him while Elliott's pouting.
Next to him is a bag, probably of food that he bought.
He stands up in shock when he sees me.
"I thought you'd left" Something is wrong with Elliott's tone like he's upset.
I thought you'd left me too.
He watches me cautiously as I walk up to him, reaching as high as I can go on my toes and I place a soft kiss on Elliott's cheek.
"I'd never leave you, Elliott"
He smiles at me, not a grin or a smirk, not even a hint of mischief but a genuine smile.
Uploaded on 15/08/18
Edited X