Chapter 48 // "Don't say my name like that unless we're in the bedroom"
It has been a few weeks since the incident with Aaron had occurred and if I was being honest I was still shook up from the experience. Sometimes I woke up and night shaking in fear that someone was going to take me away but then Conner would be there to wrap his arms around me.
I feel like since the incident that occurred it changed me. I did a complete clearance of my room getting rid of most of the things I owned, if they had a specific memory attached to them.
I feel like my wardrobe has changed too, that I didn't dress as lazily as I used. I put in more effort now and finally I got my roots fixed so I was a full blonde again.
Sometimes I missed my brunette hair, but then it reminds me of a certain someone who used to run his hands through it and used to tell me how much he loved it.
He almost seemed like a distant memory now: 6 months was a long time. Sometimes it felt like he only existed in my head, was there really an Elliott Grayson?
The necklace the one with the crescent moon and the wolf, I still wore it, because it was a pensive of me that I couldn't let go of. Ever.
Of course there was because the reason, or maybe the only reason Aaron kidnapped me was to get to Elliott. If Elliott were here with me then it wouldn't have happened they wouldn't have tried to use me.
Things between Conner and me where great. We were exactly what I imagined a prefect couple to be like. We dated, we hung out and we were close. The bad boy was mine. I really like Conner, I really do, and it was the most amazing feeling having your crush like you back.
The school was also doing amazing in the football team; our school team hadn't lost a single match yet. I didn't go to the last few matches seeing as I was practically terrified of leaving the house at night.
Conner was an amazing Quarterback, but it wasn't his dream to be the Star quarterback, he was more focused on getting the team in perfect formation and being the team captain. If I was being completely honest, he still didn't match up to Elliott.
"I still can't believe you and Conner haven't banged yet" Winter says putting in her dangly earring. Of course it had to match her flowing long vintage white dress.
"Why does it matter to you Winter, you don't get any pleasure out of it" Emily laughs fixing the straps on her big maroon dress. It was long and was layered up to look like something almost Victorian.
I sit on my bed carefully trying not to ruin my hair, makeup or dress.
This was our final winter dance and it was actually a ball. Where girls dressed up in those vintage old big Victorian dress and boys wore there best shirts and blazers. I'd be lying if I said this was less exciting than prom. I loved the idea behind this dance.
My dress was a big dark blue dress, what was strapless and went in to a ombre down he bottom of light blue. It was heavy and had many sparkles all over it. I was in love with it and not only was it gorgeous but my mom who was a fashion designer, designed it
I had my hair pinned up in a curled bun and course Emily had done my make up perfectly to match my dress. Dark and mysterious, probably to match my boyfriend aswell.
The ball was masked which meant obviously you wore a mask on your face. Mine was a dark cobalt blue that was obviously filled with sparkles, that covered have my face and had a elastic strap on the back so it stayed in all place.
Everyone was so excited for our final Winter dance yet something was holding my happiness back. It was flashbacks of the dance last year. How happy and free I felt. It was so different? Was it really last year that Elliott and me were throwing cakes at each other and we got chased by those two random men.
I remember wondering why Elliott was acting so weird that I was going to the face with Elliott. Jealousy.
The way he harshly brushed past me and bit my head off whenever I spoke. Typical Elliott.
Just as every year Daniel's and my house was almost like a host for people. I could already hear people downstairs, excited for tonight.
"Come on Cress" Winter asks and I realize Emily and Winter were standing by my bedroom door ready to go. I must have been daydreaming. I take in both their appearances, if I needed to find them tonight.
My heart beats out my chest as I see Conner standing at the bottom of the stairs laughing with Alec.
I remember the night of the last Christmas dance:
"You look good"
Wait was he talking to me?
Me?
"Thanks and I like your suit, not that I would ever wear it. It brings out the grey part in your blue eyes" I mentally face palm myself.
"Your Daniel's sister right? Crystal?"
"No Crescent"
Conner turns to smile at me the Conner of his eyes creasing, the reflection of myself in his clear eyes.
I put my hands on my hips and look at him. " You not going to help me down the stairs then, this dress feels like I have a elephant on my back"
He quickly scurries up the stairs and give me his arm. Better.
"You look stunning Blondie" He whispers in to my ear.
"I think you look quite handsome" I reply to him.
"Well I did dress to impress you"
"Well I swear every girl in this room is jealous of me" I tell him honestly.
Instead of saying anything else he presses his soft lips against mine. I'd become accustomed to his touch now, it was soft and gentle, and things that you would expect from Conner.
As opposed to Elliott who always held me tightly by his side at all time. Almost like I as a prize to him, like the most important thing to him.
I'd learnt to hide my memories of Elliott but one thing that always haunted me was the last kiss that Elliott and me didn't have. I was only messing around when I told him not to kiss my lips because of my make up.
But it was one of my biggest regrets.
"Oh it burns, my eyes are burning" Daniel whines. Daniel catching us doesn't affect Conner in the slightest, but I still pull away, flushing a light red.
Winter goes and takes Aiden's hand and sweetly smiles at him. And Emily walks to my brother.
Last year Daniel had asked Aribella to the dance. This year he was going Emily because he was too much of a coward to ask Winter. They were doing this to annoy each other and somehow Emily and Aiden were caught up in it.
I sometimes ached to tell Daniel that he should take the opportunity while she was still here. That he will regret it everyday if she ever leaves or falls in love with another guy.
Winter leans forward to give Aiden a very erotic kiss. Daniel looked liked he was going to explode any second and Winter was loving it.
Daniel then leans forward towards Emily but she takes a step back leaving my brother hanging.
Conner and me go and sit on the couch on the living room my hand on the side of my head as I watch people chat in excitement. I see Winter keep catching glances at Daniel as she stand with her Aiden.
"We should probably get going or else we're going to be late" Conner tells me and I nod following him. And trying not to kill muskeg in this dress.
*
The hall was gorgeous, you entered through a big door and in front of you were a lot of stairs.
I look down at the stairs in shock, someone was going to carry me down those, no chance was I getting down them in my big blue heels.
In the end I was holding on to the railing as I went down one step at the time, Conner beside me ready to catch me if I were to fall to my death.
The dance was in full swing now, people dancing, others lagging and due to the masks I could barely recognise who anyone was and mine was especially stiff on my face.
I walk over to the table with Emily that was filled with food, last year Elliott had started the food fight, I look over and see the toffee syrup. I remember when I poured it in Elliott's hair.
Fr some reason I felt a sudden sadness run through me, like I wanted to cry but I couldn't because I would look like a panda bear.
"Emily tell Conner I'll be back I need some air" I say and before she can reply I'm trying to leave the hall unable to breathe I'm here.
I left through the emergency door, that was really close to the main door.
I just needed some air outside. I felt so emotional tonight seeing as things were so different last year compared to now.
I didn't know why it was affecting me so much tonight.
In front of me it was pouring with rain but I stood under the balcony where it was dry.
"Crescent long time no talk to" A playful voice calls my name. I instantly back in to the brick wall.
There was a sort of sickening grin on his face, one that I had seen far too many times.
"Your really a handful, no one escapes us. No one escapes Aaron"
My mask was still on my face yet somehow he still managed to recognise me.
I was usually never afraid when Ryan cornered me but for some reason today I was terrified.
"Nice dress. So what are you doing outside. Conner not good enough for you. I've heard that you two are like couple goals or something like that now. You move on fast" I didn't like the playful tone to his voice.
"I think I'm going to go back inside now" I tell him quietly; I turn to escape when he grabs my arm and pushes me in to the brick wall behind me. I hit it hard and let out a groan.
"You never listen Crescent," He whispers in my ear.
There was no one saving me today, everyone was inside having a good time and Conner I was who knows where.
Ryan pushes me harder in to the wall and I groan out in pain.
"Ryan, Ryan please don't do this" I plead with him. I hated him I really did. He always came in my way always trying to get me. Sometimes I just wondered if I should give in to whatever him and Aaron wanted.
He takes both of my wrists in his hand, as I struggle, and pins them above my head.
"Ryan" I warn him through my gritted teeth, but he just smiles.
"What is it about you that everyone wants" He asks as if I had an answer. Well I didn't.
"Don't scream," He tells me as he forcefully hold me painfully tightly against the wall. I struggle in disgust, but his chest was pressed hard against mine. Tears threatening to spill from my eyes, but I wasn't going to cry, because I was strong and I wouldn't waste my tears on a douche like this guy.
He brings his hand towards the edge of my strapless dress; I open my mouth to scream until I see a dark figure in the shadows.
"Ill hurt you if you make a sound" he threatens me knowing I was ready to scream.
I swear to god the next time I see Ryan in a public place I will knee him so hard in the balls that there is no chance he can have future kids. Actually I think that is a better thing for the world.
All of a sudden I feel the weight pushed off me. I open my eyes wide to see the dark figure gripping on to the back of Ryan pulling him off me.
The dark mysterious figure was tall and had his head bent forward so I couldn't see his face.
Who was it?
The second Ryan sees whose face is under the hoodie he gasps and it makes my curiosity increase.
"Run" The voice was gruff and low. There was a tinge of anger in the mysterious voice that made me stop for a second to look at him. After the second I run away as fast as I possibly can in high heels.
As I reach the warmth of the inside of the hall I run straight to Conner. The second he sees me he smiles and wraps his arms around me when I'm close enough to him.
I let out a sigh of relief finally feeling safe. I try and stop myself form shaking in fear.
Whoever saved me I couldn't be more thankful. Almost so that I wanted to thank them face-to-face.
"Lets dance" I pull Conner towards the dancing couples.
I put my hand on his shoulder as he places his hand gently on my waist.
I'm always surprised at how gentle Conner can be when I'd seen him hurt multiple of people, especially when his anger took over him.
"Can I ask you something?" I ask him as I place my head on his chest as we sway to the music and I breathe in his musky scent.
"Anything" he replies.
"How many girlfriends have you had before me?" I ask him. This question has been nagging me for a long time. I instantly know that the question stresses him out, as his posture tenses.
Did he have many?
"None" His answer shocks me. Conner Ryder, no girlfriends. I lift my head form his chest to look at his face and see that he was ever so slightly embarrassed which was really cute.
"So you used to sleep around a lot" I ask.
He raises a blonde eyebrow at me" Crescent you know how I feel about what Daniel and Aiden do. I'd never sleep around" He tells me honestly. So what did that mean?
"Have you never had a thing with a girl" I ask genuinely shocked. Was I hearing this right, and did this mean...
"Never, Blondie you were my first everything"
"I stole your first kiss" I say hoping it somehow wasn't true.
He nods laughing at the memory.
"I stole your first kiss, just to get Ryan off my back, and I stole your second one, oh god I'm such a bad person. I didn't even ask your permission" I felt so bad. I can't believe I was Conner Ryder's first kiss.
"I wouldn't call you a bad person Cress" he laughs.
Suddenly the grand hall doors are pushed open, I thought everyone was here?
I tried to glance at who had come inside, but I was far too small to see anything.
The figure comes running down the stairs his had slightly bent his hark hair soaked with water. His black sweater looked damp.
That black sweater. My first date.
The guy reaches the ground and I can't see him any longer.
Everyone had stopped to look at him, like he was a uninvited guest.
That's when Conner tightens his grip around my waist pulling me close to him. His other hand holding on to mine, almost like he was scared.
I try and look up to see what the mysterious figure was doing. That's when I see Daniel fighting through the crowd towards the figure like his life depended on it.
What was going on?
"DAWSON!"
A voice called my last name through the crowd.
It was horse and filled with worry.
The voice rang through the hall, like every letter was vibrating off the walls.
I bring a hand towards me my mouth to stop the gasp.
The same musical voice that I dreamt would on day find me again. The same one that used to brighten my day. The same voice that shattered my heart.
Over the past 6 months, I'd learn to shield my heart and if I was being honest I hadn't even given Conner all my heart. I secured all the shattered pieces together but now it felt lie my heart just broke all over again. All the confidence I had build over her past 6 months to keep living was gone.
My heart had never beated so fast in my chest and it felt like my mind was clouded with so many memories.
Only one person called me Dawson.
I have to lean all my weight against Conner suddenly feeling light headed.
The figure comes out the crowd looking frantically around him, when I just stood a few inches in front of him.
Everything ached inside of me at the sight of him. His jaw line was the same sharp and perfect. His hair was styled slightly differently than I remember. It was sort of short form the back but slightly longer from the front. Of course it was in the most sexiest way, that he had to run his hand through his hair to get it out his face. And I could see the water droplets on his dark hair.
He was unnaturally beautiful, that's the first thing I realize after seeing him after all this time.
Was it possible for him to have gotten taller and more muscular?
His dark blue eyes flicker through the crowd of people, a pained expression on his face.
Everyone was shocked to see him. I saw our head teacher with her hand over her mouth in shock at the sight of him.
"Cress" He whispered. He was looking for me yet I was standing right in front of him.
I felt that burning pain in my eyes. I blind my eye furiously trying to get rid of the water in my eyes.
Yet I feel a tear drip down my cheek.
Everyone knew where I was standing yet he couldn't catch sight of me.
I look directly at him waiting for him to realize. As he turns his head in my direction his hair falls in to his face again.
Every cell in my body urged me to run to him. That's all I wanted was to hug him. I wanted it so badly.
He couldn't find me because he was looking for a girl with dark brown hair.
I gently remove my mask form my face pulling it over the bun of curls in my hair and hold it in me left hand.
He was back Elliott was back.
And then finally his eyes meet mine.
Oh Elliott.
And I can swear that there has never been a more intimate look in his eyes. The cobalt blue eyes were filled with desperation; pain.
The shock in his eyes was painful too look at.
Another warm tear falls out my eye. I violently wipe it away; everyone's eyes were one us.
"Dawson" He whispers. It sounded like he hoped he was wrong and I wasn't Crescent and I sort of attempt to nod in his direction.
I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from letting a flow of tears slip out my eyes.
It was Elliott, he saved me from Ryan. Oh god that was Elliott.
He let his gaze move from my eyes to my hair and he stares at it for a long moment.
He takes a step forward then another until he's nearly standing in front of me.
For a second I though he was going pull me in to a hug and I think he really was going to.
Until he looks down and sees Conner and mine's intertwined hands.
His eyebrows crease in confusion, like he didn't understand, and when the realization hits him its like what little hope he'd been holding on to all these months was gone.
Even after everything my heart goes out to him, id never seen Elliott look so lost. Like he didn't know what to do at that very moment.
His face was so vulnerable, filled with emotions.
He raises his gaze to look me back in the eyes. His eyes were asking me the question. Was it true had I moved on, was I with Conner?
It wasn't that I had moved on from Elliott because that could never happen. Time was moving and I was just flowing wth it.
I give a gentle nod because there was no other answer.
"Elliott, your back" Conner finally speaks up among the crowd.
I felt bad for Conner, his girlfriend's ex had returned.
Elliott ignored Conner though still focused on me; the tension between us was unbearable.
"I'm sorry Cress, they swore if I left they wouldn't touch you. He swore it Cress, I swear he did. I'd never leave you in danger. Dawson tell me you believe me" He gushes out. His blue eyes looked like they were brimming with tears, but Elliott never cried, ever.
There was some sort of deep desperation with in him for his apology to be accepted. But how could I let him off so easily when he left me in pain for 6 months.
He was back because he heard I was kidnapped.
It felt like I had a high fever, because of the heat and tension in the room.
I shake Conner's grip off myself and take my hand out his grasp, I already know how worried he is by the stiffness of his posture.
I take a step forward in my heals till I am directly in front of Elliott. I wasn't nearly as tall as him but my high heels helped a lot.
Did he still have feelings for me? Was the question that ran through my mind.
"Cress I l..." I place my hands on the centre of his chest and push him back as I wobble in my heels. He's so startled by my outburst.
The palms of my hands burnt with electricity at the touch of him.
He's real.
Why did you leave me I wanted to cry out? Explain to him how lost I was without him. How much I hated him for leaving me.
Tell him I loved him?
"NO Elliott" His name burned in my throat, seeing as I hadn't said it out loud in such a long time.
From where I was standing his scent was the same and everything about his was so familiar.
"You don't get to say sorry ever. I will never forgive you for anything. You left me broken Elliott. I hate you Elliott Grayson, with every cell in my body" I shout at him. I shove him back again but this time he was sturdier and he grabs my wrists stopping me from hitting him again.
His soft hands on my wrists, his face was so close to mine. His perfect nose and his blue shining eyes.
I wanted to fall in to his chest and let him hold me while I cried.
I didn't hate him; I felt something else that I couldn't work out. But it wasn't hate, I can't hate Elliott. I just had to take out all my anger for him leaving me.
"Dawson you're going to hurt yourself"
I hated the way he was being so caring, so careful. I saw my words were cutting him because of the pained expression on his face. And when he was in pain I felt it too.
'Let go of me" I tell him venomously and he instantly let's go of my wrists.
"I hate you Elliott" And I walk back to Conner. It hurt saying that to him, but how could I accept him after he made me suffer so badly.
"Elliott" Someone calls. I look up and see whom it was. Daniel, and he were looking directly at Elliott.
Elliott looks at him unmoving, he was surprised to see Daniel. Two best friends torn apart because of me.
I swear at that moment I had never seen my brother Daniel look happier.
He runs up to Elliott who was directly next to me and pulls him in to a hug.
"Elliott you bloody bastard, your back" I heard the croakiness in Daniel's voice.
Elliott looked startled by Daniel's gesture as if he expected Daniel to hit him. Elliott hugs Daniel back and I swear it was one of the cutest things I have ever seen.
"Don't you dare ever leave me again" Daniel tells Elliott.
I realize that Conner was now standing beside me.
I look up at him and I could see he was very anxious.
"He's back" Conner says stiffly.
"And how do you feel about that" I ask him.
He lets out a sigh "It's Elliott of course I'm happy he's back, life without Elliott is just plain boring. He's one of my favorite people. But he's also the same guy that broke your heart. The same guy you might still have feelings for" He runs his hand though his blonde hair looking at Daniel and Elliott.
"If it makes you feel any better you don't have to worry' I tell Conner. Lies Cress.
"And why is that Cress?"
"Because I will never fall for Elliott again. I will never let him have the opportunity to break my heart like that again"
I stand up to look him in the eyes now.
"I like you Conner, I have for years and I'm not going to throw that all away for some boy that broke my heart" And I lean forward to wrap my arms around Conner's neck and press my lips against him.
Or at least that's what I kept telling myself?
"Well that was...unpredictable. Anyway I have the final results for the ice King and ice Queen of this year. And as we all know this is a special year seeing as it is the final year of high school for this year group. As per usual the winners need to dance together" Our teacher explains through the hall. Conner pulls away first, just as curious as me to see who had the most votes.
I actually had no idea who would win this year, seeing as Aribella's popularity had severely decreased and the guy changs from year to year.
I look to my left only to see Elliott already looking at me.
His expression was indescribable, he just saw me kiss Conner and he practically looked green.
He snatches his gaze away from me when he sees me looking at him.
Our deputy head opens the silver envelope and take as glance at the names, that's when her eyebrows furrow in confusion.
"I think...I think there's been a mistake" she breathes. That's when another teacher runs across the stage and whispers in to her ear.
Finally the other teacher goes away.
"Well it seems like this wasn't a mistake. So the Ice Queen of this year is Crescent Bay Dawson"
My jaw drops at the sound of my name being called. Well that was uncalled for.
I didn't expect that, I stand up in surprise looking down at the floor as everyone stares at me as I walk towards the teacher.
"And the Ice king is...Elliott Grayson"
I hear a gasp through the crowd and see Elliott's shocked expression. It was obvious he was not expecting that. His eyes instantly find mine.
Why us? There were over 300 people in our school year yet Elliott and me were the ones put together.
Oh god that meant Elliott and me have to dance together.
Once we both reach the stag, the teacher gives us a pitying look.
I budge through the crowd as they make space for this dance. And there he was right in front of me.
"Miss Crescent Bay Dawson, can a have this dance" He asks me putting his hand out like a gentleman.
I freeze though everyone was watching and listening to the both of us, no on understood those words.
That was what he asked me at the summer dace when we were both still together. It hurt that he was bringing things up from back then.
I open my mouth not knowing what to say. No one will understand it if I tell him.
"I can barely dancing in flats let alone killer heels. I might send you and me to the hospital"
I see the corner of his mouth tug upwards slightly remembering that was what I replied to him 6 months ago.
The way his blue eye shone whenever he smiles and the sides of them had tiny little creases.
I wanted to say that placing my hand in Elliott's was awkward and having his hand on my waist felt wrong. But damn it felt so right.
It's funny that of all people it had to be Elliott and I, it was like fate was already brining us together again. But I wouldn't let it happen this time. I was going to be strong; I would never give Elliott another chance to break my heart.
"Tell me please Dawson is there any chance, will there ever be a chance"
'Elliott" I warn him. I wasn't going to give I'm another chance. No I was going to be strong.
"God I miss the way you say my name"
"Elliott!" I warn him again.
"There's that beautiful sound again"
"Elliott stop it" I tell him off, because he was about to make me laugh.
"God Cress your getting me all hot and flustered, don't say my name like that unless we're in the bedroom"
Right Elliott and his sexual jokes.
"You and Ryder" He was trying to act casual but I could see the amount of hurt he felt just by asking that question.
"I like. And he likes me back, doesn't care for people" I didn't expect my words to hurt him so much but I could see that they were and for some reason I wanted to hurt him more.
"Conner is better than you in every way Elliott. So if that doesn't answer your question here it is. There is never a chance for you Elliott"
"There's always a chance Dawson"
"And just so you know he's better in bed that you"
He gives me a confused look for a second and then my words sink in.
"You and Conner had sex"
Oh my god Elliott sounded genuinely heartbroken. Of course we hadn't, it was just Elliott that always s though about sex.
He brings his hand forward and for the slight fraction of a second I thought that he was going to cup my face.
Instead he brushed his cold fingertips on the chain around my neck.
"You wear it?"
He was making reference the necklace with a crescent moon and a wolf.
"I came back here specifically to pick up this necklace, I knew you would regret throwing it away" he tells me honestly.
"You cut your hair" he says
"No I dyed the tips invisible"
There it was, that half smirk, that sexy half smirk in the left side of his face. I think someone need to call a ambulance because there is a hotness overload in this room.
"Why did you dye it blonde?" He asks
I turn to look at him one last time "Because I wanted to get rid of everything you loved about me"
"That's It going to work Cress. I loved your brown hair and I'll learn to love your blonde hair"
Damn him and his good way with words.
"Dawson every girl in this room would die to be with me yet I choose you, why do you have to be so complicated" he shakes his head. I was finding it hard to breathe, the way his hand was clasping mine and his arm around my waist, not loosely, but so I was tightly up against him.
"Stop trying Elliott"
"Cress don't you worry, I'll be damned before I stop trying to win you back"
That's when the song end and he lets go, smirking as if he knew he was right, while I'm left standing there confused.
Author note:
HOLY MOTHERFUCKING CHEESEBALLS ELLIOTT GRAYSON IS BACK!!!!!!!
I have had this chapter written out for 6 months and I'm actually crying this chapter makes me so happy. I really hope you all liked it. Like updating this chapter has been my dream!!
This book is going to get so much better now, well seeing as the best character is back !!!!!! Also this chapter is nearly FREAKING 6,000 WORDS LIKE WHAT THE HELL