Chapter 21: chapter 21

Two years have passed since I shifted from my last post in Leh to the arid desolation of Jaisalmer cantonment. The cold winds of Leh have been replaced by relentless dust storms and sweltering heat. Life here feels like it's in the middle of nowhere, far from civilization as it appears. It's a place where existence itself seems without life. But looking back, it's surreal to think about the twists and turns my journey has taken.When I first joined the military, I never imagined I would be where I am today. But here I am, Lt. Col. Riya Singh, entrusted with significant responsibilities and a burning purpose deep within me.The events in Leh Cantonment had been a turning point in my career. I had faced a formidable adversary in Lt. Col. Kaushal, a man who had once been a thorn in my side. His arrogance and manipulation had pushed me to the edge, but little did he know that he had also pushed me to discover a strength and determination I didn't know I had.But there is another chapter in my life that unfolded after Leh’s terrorist attack, which we won finally. This new chapter has left its own mark on my journey—a chapter filled with sandstorms of a different kind.It all began when I arrived at Jaisalmer Cantonment, hoping for a fresh start away from the treacherous environment of Leh, I was still a Major then and Neha had already got promoted to Lieutenant colonel. I was happy for her but also saw how slowly she distanced from me after her promotion.I had to move on as my past failures of not able to save Co. Dinesh weighed heavy on my promotion cycles.In Jaisalmer, the desert landscape stretched out endlessly, the sands, the fort and our cantonment whispering secrets of centuries gone by. It was a harsh and unforgiving environment, but it was a welcome change from the icy terrain of my previous posting.However, my newfound tranquillity was short-lived. It didn't take long for me to cross paths with Major Vayu, a senior officer in the unit. At first, I had hoped that Jaisalmer's isolation would foster a sense of camaraderie among the officers, but Vayu's presence shattered that illusion within a week.Major Vayu was from the Punjab regiment, known for their toughness and tenacity. He had a booming, hoarse voice that could be heard echoing through the barracks. Slowly, I realized that not only was his voice hoarse, but his methods were also crude.Our first encounter was during a unit briefing, where Vayu made it clear that he considered himself the alpha male in the group. His condescending tone and domineering presence set the tone for our interactions. He seemed to relish the power dynamic and took pleasure in making junior officers feel small.An incident which made me insecure with him was when we were conducting a dummy-hostage-saving exercise in the desert, a challenging and high-stress test. As the leader of the operation, I had a specific plan in place, one that prioritized the safety and diligence of our troops.But Vayu had other ideas. He openly challenged my orders in front of the entire unit, questioning my competence and decision-making. His insubordination not only undermined my authority but also put the lives of our soldiers at risk.In that moment, as the scorching desert sun beat down on us, I had to make a difficult choice. I could have engaged in a power struggle with Vayu, escalating the situation further, or I could swallow my pride and find a way to defuse the tension.I chose the latter. With every ounce of patience and diplomacy I could muster, I addressed Vayu's concerns while reaffirming my authority as the leading officer. It wasn't easy, and it required me to navigate a delicate balance between assertiveness and respect.To my surprise, my approach worked. Vayu grumbled and complained, but he ultimately followed my orders. The mission was a success, and the soldiers returned safely. It was a lesson in leadership for me—one that taught me the importance of maintaining composure and professionalism in the face of adversity.But my encounters with Vayu were far from over. He continued to challenge my authority at every turn, creating a competitive atmosphere within the unit. It seemed as though he had a personal campaign against me, and I couldn't understand why.The second incident with Vayu occurred during a routine training exercise in the desert. As we were conducting tactical manoeuvres, Vayu intentionally disobeyed my orders, putting himself and the unit at risk. It was a blatant act of insubordination that left me seething with anger.I confronted Vayu privately after the exercise, demanding an explanation for his reckless behaviour. His response was a mixture of arrogance and defiance. He accused me of being a "paper-pushing bureaucrat" and claimed that he knew better than I did when it came to combat tactics quoting my failure missions of Leh.In that moment, I felt a surge of frustration. Vayu's comment was not only bringing a gender bias but also demeaning the respect I had earned after the success over the terrorist attacks. I don’t know why, I didn’t counter him but I knew I had to take decisive action to restore order and discipline.I decided to escalate the matter to our superiors, providing them with a detailed account of Vayu's rebelliousness and the potential consequences of his actions. It was a difficult step to take, as I had always believed in resolving conflicts within the unit. But Vayu's behaviour left me with no other choice.To my surprise, no action taken, stating this was all my attitude issues and Vayu was a diligent officer. Vayu smirked at me later that day, that's when I decided to create proofs of his actions.After a week it was a hot and dusty day, and I had just finished a gruelling training session with the junior officers. I was exhausted and looking forward to a meal in the relative peace of the mess hall.As I entered, I noticed Major Vayu sitting at a table with a group of officers. His booming voice could be heard from across the room as he regaled them with stories of his past exploits. I decided to grab a quick meal and find a quiet corner to recharge.However, as I approached the serving counter, Vayu's eyes locked onto mine. He greeted me with a loud, mocking laugh that echoed through the mess hall. "Ah, look who we have here, the rising star of Jaisalmer!" he exclaimed, his hoarse voice cutting through the air like a sandstorm.I tried to ignore him and continued towards the food counter, but Vayu wasn't finished. He began to recount the embarrassing incident when I had tried to report about him. He exaggerated the details to make me appear foolish in front of the entire mess hall. On top of that he started talking about how my leadership resulted in Colonel Dinesh’s death.The laughter of the officers around him only fuelled his taunts. My face flushed with embarrassment, and I clenched my fists in frustration. I wanted to stand up to him, to put him in his place, but I knew that it would only escalate the situation further.Instead, I took a deep breath, collected my meal, and walked away, ignoring the lingering laughter that followed me. It was a difficult moment, one that tested my patience and resolve but I was able to get a decent proof of his mis behaviour.These events just remind me that when I am confronted by adversaries, I feel so low but I have no one to share my stories with, the only way out, is to write them to you, my diary you are my best friend.~~~~~