Chapter 25: chapter 25

The first time I saw Rodas killing someone was when I went to his home without telling him. I wanted to give him a surprise but it didn't end well.  The sight of the back garden was traumatizing and the look in his eyes was merciless, it seemed like they were burning. He didn't blink even once when he fired that deadly weapon at the person kneeling before him, begging for life.I screamed seeing the pool of blood. So this is what you meant by dirty work Rodas? I found myself questioning as I watch him shoot again and again.The thought of Rodas killing people was something I had avoided since the start. I didn't let the slightest idea of it cross my mind but maybe little did I know I would've to face the reality one day. Maybe I needed a little bit more time to get myself ready to face it."Elora!!!" I heard Rodas calling my name and heading towards me in a hurry but I dare not see his face. I wanted to move backwards but my feet weren't moving as if I was trapped on the ground.Within a few seconds, Rodas's hand reached the back of my head and pressed me against his chest. "What are you doing here Sunshine?" His words were barely a whisper but they came out so soft, a complete contrast to the person I just saw killing someone. He made me burst into tears. At that time I really wished that whatever I saw was not true and that I was only seeing things but the smell of blood reminded me of the impossible thing I was wishing for. ----I sat on the bed. Rodas standing just a few feet away from me, leaning against the wall. The room was dripping with silence and neither of us knew what to say. He was tensed and worried. I wondered where these emotions went when he was killing that person. Instead, he looked like he was enjoying it. I peeled my eyes away from him and stared at the lines of my palms, messy as my head right now. I might sound crazy but I didn't feel even the slightest of resentment towards him. After what seemed like fifteen minutes of constant silence, Rodas came to stand before me. I looked up at him and my cheeks were cradled between his palms."I'm sorry!" He mumbled. "You had to see that," I didn't say anything."But... This is who I am Elora. I beat people up, kill them... Torture them. This is how my world is. I can't say what will happen tomorrow. There are hundreds of people out there waiting for my death." Rodas said. Tears welled up in my eyes and he slowly rubbed his thumbs over my cheeks. "That's why I didn't want to approach you... Whenever you're out of sight, I feel anxious. I get mad at myself for not being able to watch out for you all the time." I quickly wiped away the drop of tears that trickled down my cheek and try to put on a smile. "It's ok, Rodas... Y-You can leave this behind. You don't have to keep doing-"Rodas's hands left my cheek, causing me to stop mid-sentence. My heart shrank when he shook his head."I can't Elora... I've been living this life since I was a Kid. I can't live an honest life when my hands are covered in layers and layers of blood..." His jaw clenched as he stared at his hands. "Rodas..." I got up from the bed and tiptoed to kiss him on the lips. He gulped. "You're too precious for me... I can't risk you, Elora. Stay away from me please, I'm not-" I silenced him with another kiss. I was not familiar with his world, how it works and how dangerous it was, it's true that I was scared. I felt like I was doing a huge mistake but I knew the moment I decided to approach him without knowing anything about him, I was ready to take the risk."I want to hear everything... " I told him. "About your world," "Elora, don't be stupid. I saw your whole body shaking, you were so scared. You don't have to do this. You can walk away!" Rodas didn't have any idea that I couldn't leave him. I loved him and I didn't how to explain it to him. "Listen to me will you?" I pouted. "I'm not going anywhere... When I'm in danger, I know you will save me" I grinned, kissing him again. Rodas's frown faded and he chuckled. "You're more stubborn than I thought," he said.I raised my eyebrows. "You think I'm stubborn?" He held my waist and smooched my cheeks."My stubborn Angel..."Rodas opened up about himself to me that day and I also got to know about Z, that big man who was always by his side and Jeremy. How they struggled to exist and found themselves in the hands of Gangsters. The inside and outside wars, and the chaos in his everyday life. How he has to always be on alert and can not sleep carefree even a single night and the betrayal he faced from his own people."Even the most trusted person can betray you... There's no saying. Here, people only look for their own convenience. Wherever they look fit, they crawl towards it." Rodas said. "At least, I think of myself as a lucky one to have Z and Jeremy by my side" His moist green gazes gave me thorns. He was holding back tears, constantly staring at the ceiling in a struggle to keep his emotions hidden. I moved closer to him from the other side of the couch and held his chin causing him to look at me. A drop of tears trickled down his cheek.I couldn't imagine how tired Rodas must have been. How he must have longed for someone to hold him close and tell him that it was going to be alright. "You're allowed to be weak alright?" I told him. "At least in front of me!" His eyes slowly met mine. I gently nodded at him and the tears freely fell down his cheeks. His defence crumbled and with trembling hands, he reached for me and buried his face into my neck. His cries echoed through the room.I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into my embrace. I wanted to know him that no matter what, I would always be there for him and that I was the person whom he can trust without worry.I loved him unconditionally.