Chapter 37: chapter 37

Jeremy's POV-------------------It's been five minutes since I'm standing in front of the mirror, looking at my hair and deep in thought. I keep remembering what that dickhead Zeco said to me."Why are you keeping your hair so long? Shouldn't you cut it?" Last night, I considered cutting it, I even picked up the scissor but I just couldn't do it. "Fuck you Zeco." I curse under my breath before starting to braid my hair. I've to head out of the house for a few days to find out who Mason is meeting and Zeco has not once come to check on me. I'm not expecting much. I just want him to come to see me as a work partner. I don't understand why he even got mad in the first place. It's not like he doesn't know that he is not the only one I'm having sex with. And he can't expect me to be loyal to him when he doesn't even return my feelings. I put on my black jacket and then the boots. When I'm finished, I look at my make-up box and sigh. I wouldn't be able to use them for a while. All done. I grab my backpack and walk toward the door. When I reach the door, I nearly bump into Zeco. I gasp, surprised by his sudden appearance when I had been criticising him for not coming to see me. "Are you leaving?" He asks. I nod.He is wearing a casual floral printed half-sleeve shirt, leaving the three upper buttons open exposing his honey skin underneath. I gulp and avert my eyes away. "You'll come back home when you're done," he says.I shake my head."I'm not planning to come back," He stands a bit closer and leans over to meet my eyes."I'm not asking. I'm telling you," I frown. What the fuck is he blabbing about now?"What do you mean?" He smirks shamelessly. "You know what I mean. You'll come back here in this house when you're done with your job tonight," he says in a deep and serious voice. Eyes dangerously fixated on mine. A shudder runs through my spine and I feel a lump in my throat, making it hard to swallow. I feel embarrassed. His words would've made a different effect on me if we were together. Maybe I would have felt loved, secure and protected.Maybe I would've jumped right into his arms for a warm hug.But right now, it feels bitter. It hurts me."You have no right to tell me that," I say, holding back my tears. He laughs, running a hand through his hair. Then his eyes are back on me. "You go around getting fuck by every man that approaches you even though you say you love me. Do you think that will make me want you?" Would Zeco ever be able to understand how his words make me feel? Could he not hear my heart breaking when it is the loudest sound right now? "Do you know how fucked up you sound Zeco?" How selfish do you sound right now?" The hush words leave my mouth as I stare at him with eyes brimming with tears.Fuck, stupid tears won't leave me alone. "I-" "Nevermind. You said it right. I go around fucking every man who approaches me... I'm a Whore. You are welcome to stay away from me." I interrupt him. I've been thinking this for a while, I should completely stay away from him. It's better that way. I move away from Zeco and start walking."Jeremy!" He calls. "Jeremy!!" I do not listen and walked away until his voice couldn't reach my ear. I throw the backpack over my shoulder before starting my bike and speeding away from home.-----------Z's POV----------There I go again. Blurting out things that I don't mean. Like I said, when it comes to Jeremy I can't think straight. I came to his room to warn him to be careful when doing his work and that when he comes back home we will have dinner together.See where it went?After seeing him, my thoughts got lost and I stumbled into my words. He was looking as pretty as ever. He looked even prettier in black. My heart felt strange... in a good way. I didn't know how to make it go away. And when he said he wouldn't come back home, I couldn't help but think about the possible things he could do. He might stay at another man's place or he might go to a club and screw with random dudes. I absolutely despise those things. I don't know why but the thought of his body being touched by foreign hands makes my blood boil. My heart shrinks and it messes up my ability to think the right thing and I ended up blurting out things that were obvious to hurt him. I made him cry again.He is so right. I'm fucked up.I don't have the right to be angry at him. But what is this feeling? I never really gave myself a chance to think about my feelings. Especially when it comes to truly loving someone. I've always buried myself in work and serving loyalty to my organisation, setting aside everything that comes their way.I did the same with Jeremy when he confessed to me two years ago.And I've never been able to see him the same as before after knowing what he feels for me.I didn't love him in that way yet I also couldn't resist his body. I didn't want to have anybody so that I wouldn't get distracted from my work yet whenever I see Jeremy with another man, turmoil starts in my head. I don't want to fall in love. I hope it's just a phase that would go away after some time. But I can't stop worrying about him knowing he went out alone to do such a dangerous job. I take out my phone and call him.Of course, why would he pick up my call?I could only hope that he comes back home safely.