Chapter 4: chapter 4

I'm trying to fit in."So... How did we meet for the first time?" I ask Rei, sitting on the kitchen counter while he prepares pasta for me. He grins."That's an interesting question" he winks at me. "My friend forced me to go to a Piano show with him... I saw you there for the first time, all lights on you...eyes closed, playing the piano, lost in the moment. You were wearing a pink dress, your hair loose over your shoulder" I laugh, flustered. The way Rei explains things always amazes me. The way he explains even the smallest details."And then?" "Then we met backstage... My friend was an artist himself. So, he had access there. We met again at a function..." Rei says but then his words trails off. His smile drops as if he remembered something bad. I tap on his shoulder. He shrugs and smiles back, turning off the gas. "After that, we met frequently... Like every day and we became friends and then started seeing each other.""Not bad..." I comment, half trying to imagine the scenes and half trying to deny the fact nothing comes in my head. I cannot imagine it."C'mon... Let's eat" he says, plating the pasta and taking it to the dining table. I get the opportunity to distract myself from those distracting thoughts.It's the fifth day with Rei and I've been throwing some questions at him. Two to three questions at a time. He gladly answers them. I've also got to know that I don't have parents or any relatives. Thought so. It's still awkward between us but I think I've become enough comfortable with Rei to sit and eat together with him. He is patient and doesn't rush things and does everything to make me happy, I guess. He is such a charming gentleman.He leaves for work at around ten in the morning and comes back at seven in the evening. He told me he is a real estate agent. So, I'm mostly by myself in the house and I spend those time exploring the place, reading books and playing the piano and of course, sitting in one place for hours trying to remember things to the point that my head hurts.We stay in separate rooms though there's a master bedroom full of our stuff and I'm very glad Rei is giving me time and not forcing me to do anything. Being Rei must be very hard, it's such a scary thing to not be remembered by the one you hold dear."I'll be late today," Rei tells me, swallowing his food.I nod."Ok! Take care,"He smiles and completes the rest of the food in silence. He seems to be bothered by something but I'm not sure if he wants to talk about it. So, I do not ask.Rei leaves earlier than his usual time. I wash the dishes and head to the master bedroom, dusty smell welcomes me as soon as I enter the there.There's another big portrait of Rei and me hanging above the bed headboard. It's a picture of us hugging. I run my fingers over it, a thick dust covers my fingertips. I wish, these pictures to trigger something in me and cause my memories to come back but they never do. No matter how many pictures I look at.I open a closet. There are dresses and outfits neatly lined up on hangers. I take out one white flowery dress and stand before the mirror. Nope. Not my taste. Did my taste change after losing my memories? Because I don't seem to like anything in this closet.I put the dress back and close the closet before walking to the bathroom and I instantly regret it because my head automatically thinks of him.Rodas and his bloody clothes scattered over the bathroom floor. His green gaze and his deep voice.I grab my chest. It feels itchy whenever he pops up in my mind. I feel sad and I don't even know why.I run out of the bedroom and close the door behind my back. I don't want to think about him.-----I'm running with someone holding hands, we are laughing, our feet digging into the soft sand. The horizon is crimson red. It's a beach. I feel so happy and so alive. Then a pair of strong arms wrap around me. It's so warm and welcoming. Suddenly I'm in a dark alleyway. The protective arms are gone. Then a pair of burning red eyes are glaring at me as if to kill me. The rest of its body is cast into darkness. "Why don't you just die?" It whispers. I feel chill running down my spine. I'm terrified and it's dark everywhere. Nothing comes out of my mouth even though I try to scream. It takes steps toward me. I scream inside.Help!Someone help me!Help-CLACK! My eyes shot open and darted to the door. Why does it feel like someone just walked out of my room?I sigh heavily, covering my face. Just my thoughts. My whole body is sweaty and there are tears in my eyes. What kind of nightmare was that? My hands are still shaking and my heart is pounding so hard.I need a cold shower.I slide off the bed. It's already eleven. I wonder if Rei is back. I walk out of my bedroom and go to check out. To my surprise, he only walks in from the front door when I'm about to open his room's door. "Oh! I was about to check, whether you had come back or not because I fell asleep early" I say.Rei gives me a tired smile. He kicks off his shoes and drops his head on my shoulder. He smells of alcohol.I'm a little surprised but I pat his back."Have you had your dinner?" He nods. "Take a shower and go to sleep!" "Let me stay like this for a while" he mumbles.I let him."What if you gain your memories back and you don't want to stay with me anymore?" He asks with a soft voice.That didn't cross my mind but I decide to answer."Isn't that a good thing? I would remember everything about us again" I say.He chuckles."Why would that be a good thing?" I frown and make him look at me."What do you mean?" I ask.He smiles sleepily."I have had too much drink. I'm blabbing things. Goodnight!" He walks into his room leaving me in utter confusion.