Chapter 5: chapter 5

I don't like it here anymore.It's been a month. The days are so long like they had never been before. Each minute feels like a decade. The first two weeks were fun and I was busy exploring things but nowadays I wake up with a sigh thinking when the day will end. It's such a tiring feeling to have.It's not Rei's fault or anyone's. He is great. He is everything someone could ask for. He takes care of me very well and answers my every curious question but he is so perfect that he makes me anxious. The feeling of not belonging to this place crawls into my skin like insects and somehow my mind keeps wondering about that guy when I should be loyal to Rei. Right?The more Rei is nice to me, the more I'm feeling guilty thinking about all the things that might happen if I don't get my memories back. Will this current me ever feel anything special for Rei?  There's no spark when I'm near him. My heart doesn't thumb loudly against my chest. My cheeks don't go all red.I feel like a cheater."I'm going for a bicycle ride," I tell Rei who is lying on the couch in his shorts watching a wrestling match on the tv. It's Sunday, so he is at home."I'll go with you!" He says and immediately turns the tv off but I shake my head. "I'll go alone..." He pauses for a moment, running his fingers through his hair like he is thinking about whether to let me go or not. "It's already getting dark!" "No, it's not getting dark... Look at the time Rei, it's only 3 pm" Rei opens his mouth to say something but then closes it again, biting the inside of his cheeks. He is still unsure but I'm already turning around and getting out of the house. He follows me out and watches me taking out the bicycle from the garage. "Call me immediately if something happens,"I wave my hands and start cycling away from him. I don't understand why he is acting like someone's gonna kill me. I've come pretty far away from home. Maybe like three kilometres and so is that black car behind me. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or something but I feel like that car has been following me. It's so strange and I don't know what to do if it's true.I see a public park a few distances away from the road, people are there. So, I start pedalling fast toward it without looking back. When I reach the place and look back, the car is not in sight. I let out a sigh of relief. I'm thinking unnecessary things. How stupid of me. Why would anyone follow me? I'm just a normal citizen living with my boyfriend.I push my bicycle slowly over the stony path. The place is terrific to the eyes with blue, and pink hydrangeas on either side of the road. I see mostly couples. So, I avoid the centre and park my cycle near a single bench and sit. The April sky is dull.The sun was bright this morning but It may rain soon with lightning and booming thunders. I love listening to it while lying on the bed. The sound is somehow relaxing which is I know an absolute nightmare for some people.Not long after, a drop of rain falls on my hand.Guess I'll stay here for a while.-----When I near home, I'm soaked from head to toe but it was so thrilling to experience the rain hitting me directly as I pedal forward.I notice another black car in the driveway. I stop, scared for a moment but then I realise that the car is smaller than the one I saw there on the road. A man is standing in the rain wearing all black with his elbow propped on the car's roof while he smokes. He doesn't seem to be bothered by the rain even a bit. He must enjoy it as I do. My presence alerts him and he turns around in a defensive move, only to be surprised by my harmless sight.How stupid of me to not notice his golden hair.Z immediately throws the cigarette on the ground and steps over it as if he is scared I would scold him. He greets me with a nod.My heart starts pounding on my chest. My first thought is Is Rodas here? I go near Z, pushing my cycle.He is about to say something when his eyes catch something behind me and he instantly keeps his head low. I turn around to see Rodas, my breath hitched as our eyes met. I think my heart skipped a beat.As he made his way toward me, I couldn't help but notice how good he looks with his rugged features and cold green eyes. It's like they pull me toward himself. Something like an invisible power?Have I been hoping to see him?My inside is in turmoil. Why do I feel like this with him?My grip on the bicycle's handles tightened as I put on a smile."Oh!" I mumble. "Were you here to see Rei?" I don't know why I even asked that. It's not natural for him to come here and see Rei. They are not friends, right?He stops in front of me with a frown. At this point, I think I'm sure that my presence irritates him. He tucks his hands into his pockets but doesn't answer my question. "How is your hand?" I ask again but my question only darkens his face.I pull in my upper lips and bite hard. I should stop speaking. He takes a step closer to me and lowers his head to meet my eye level. Then he pulls out his right hand and put it over my hair. "Get inside quickly" he says almost like an order and then walk past me in large step without any further words. He gets inside the car. Z gives me an apologetic smile before getting inside and driving away. How considerate of him.I stand on my spot for a while wondering if my questions have offended Rodas. Then I proceed to think about the thing he just did. I put my hand over my hair, it's wet. "Get inside quickly" Was he concerned?Oh, fuck your thoughts, Elora. Why would he?My eyes catch Rei who is standing at the door. He motions his hands asking me to come over.