~Achilles~
"I'm sorry." Xander said when he woke up in my bed.
After Xander had shut down in the parking lot at the recreational centre. I'd done my best, even as a wolf to guide him back to his car, let him drive back to my place and when we got to my apartment he hugged me for a while, scratching that nice spot behind my ears.
Eventually he'd fallen asleep on me and I'd had to extricate myself, shift and then come back to bed. That's when he'd woken up again, saying he was sorry.
"It's okay." I said, crawling into the bed, watching the plains of Xander's face in the near darkness. He was frowning.
"I haven't seen him in years." Xander moved in closer to me, splaying his hand over my chest and dragging his fingers over my skin. It felt electric. "He's with another vampire. They have a kid. Did you know to adopt a vampire child, that you have to be approved through a council? It's an extensive process because there are so few vampire kids who are up for adoption. You basically have to be a saint. And they let himâThey let him have a child." Xander's voice broke. "I mean, I never really told anyone, except Elle. But, still."
"Is there someone you can tell now?"
Xander closed his eyes again, leaning away from me, pulling his hands against his chest and smoothing them down his shirt. He didn't say anything. Then, he sat up on the bed, and got up to go to the bathroom. I watched the little light under the door until he came back out.
It looked like he'd splashed water on his face. He sat on the bed. "Can we do over date night?"
I grasped him by the side of the neck, leaned in and gave him a kiss. "Of course we can re-do date night."
#
A few months later.
"I told you. They always kill off the black character first." Xander whispered loudly in the movie theatre. The arm rest separating us was up and he was snug against my side as I wrapped my arm across his shoulders.
I'd been getting better at the public signs of affection thing. And Xander seemed to glow whenever I did do things.
My blossoming relationship with Xander was... still blossoming. I now knew he had seven freckles across the bridge of his nose, and that his laugh was my favourite sound in the world, and of course, that he was beautiful, inside and out. I had even almost said I love you a few times. Once when I hung up after our nightly chats, another time after date night and even last night when Xander had finally shown me his hair routine, which was decidedly intricate.
Another jump scare popped up on the screen and I flinched, but Xander squeezed my thigh.
And fucking hell was I frustrated. I'd spent all this time with Xander and we still hadn't done the God damned deed. The longer I spent with him the more attracted to him I became. Suddenly, every look and every touch from Xander made my body buzz with an excitement that only built every time we saw each other.
I was shifting more often and going for runs just to get the energy out. But it wasn't really satisfying in the way I needed it to be.
After Xander had bumped into Corey our relationship had cooled a bit while he looked for a new support group. He wasn't willing to go back to the old place and I didn't push him. Every time I mentioned that maybe he should look into a therapist he just shook his head, curls bouncing and changed the subject Some days though, Xander got really quiet, and I still didn't push him. I hoped that was the right thing to do.
#
After the movie, Xander and I went to one of those frozen yogurt places that lets you put all those toppings with the scoops of frozen yogurt and then weighs them. Unsurprisingly, I chose a lot of sweet options and Xander got a bunch of fruits with his frozen yogurt.
We sat down at a table at the back of the store and Xander was talking but I could only stare at his mouth. He had nice, full lips, his lower lip more pink than his upper one. I kind of wanted them wrapped around myâ
"Achilles." Xander said, sucking on his plastic spoon. "Have you heard a word I've said?"
I blinked, pushing my thoughts to a PG rated direction. "Yes, Xander, of course."
He gave me an easy smile. "Liar."
I lowered my voice, sighing. "I can't help it. It's easy to stare at you."
He frowned. "You don't think I'm a tease, right?"
"What?"
"Well." He said slowly, popping a strawberry between his lips. "We haven't had sex and we've been together for three months."
I fidgeted, meeting Xander's even green gaze. "Can we discuss this somewhere more private?"
He looked as if he realized we were in a public space at that very moment. "Oh. Well, at my sessions they say it's good to discuss problems in a relationship as they come up. Especially, new ones. Andâ" he hesitated, brushing his thumb across his jaw. "I don't want to make you unhappy."
I brushed my fingers against his on the table. "You make me so happy, Xander."
He looked caught off guard and he gave me a shy smile. "Oh, okay."
"You make me feel all warm inside, and soft and good, so good." I was gesturing with my hands but I don't know if I was making any sense. "I look forward to Thursdays and any time I can spend with you. I like the way you smell, the way you feel, the way you sound, everything. I love everything about you."
Xander's eyes widened and he dropped his spoon before I realized what I'd said. He twirled a finger around a curl, looking at his nearly empty bowl. "Uhâ"
"Shit." I said, realizing. "Fuck, I didn't mean that."
"Oh." Xander said in a devastated breath.
"No. I mean, I did. Obviously, it's just..." my mind blanked. "I didn't mean to say it now. Or any time soon, really." I closed my eyes, covering my face. "God, can we just pretend that didn't happen?"
Xander let out a genuine laugh. "Your face is so red right now, Achilles. You're sweet, honestly. Let's go back to my place?"
The whole car ride home I was mentally kicking myself as everything lapsed into an awkward silence. Xander's head was thrown back against his seat and his eyes were closed, but he wasn't sleeping. His next words were quiet. "You make me happy, too, Achilles. I'm glad we bumped into each other at that bar."
I laughed."That was the first time my wolf and the human side of me both needed something. I'm glad that that something was you."
I'm not sure why I expected him to tell me he loved me back, and why the sound of silence in the car was heart breaking in its own way.
#
"Happy three months." I told Xander later when we'd unwound and were lying in bed together. He had been typing out his lesson plan for his lectures in the upcoming weeks and when I said that he froze and then turned to me wide eyed.
I reached into drawer of the end table where I'd left my gift. I took out the wrapped box and handed it over to Xander.
"Gosh, Achilles." Xander said, voice low and soft. "You didn't have to." His fingers wrapped around the box slowly as he moved closer to me on the bed.
I leaned over and tipped Xander's chin up to give him a kiss. "I wanted to."
He frowned. "I didn't get you anything. I normally wait until six months before gifts."
I rolled my eyes, laughing at how flustered Xander seemed. "Will you just open it?"
The box was silver, wrapped with a black bow that Xander pulled on until the string unravelled. He took off the wrapping paper, and then opened the box. Xander gasped, gently picking up the silver engraved necklace I'd gotten for him. The chain was silver with a treble clef charm, and a rectangular prism charm that had a date on one side and X&A written in cursive on the other.
#
pendant kind of looks like
Plus the clef charm.
#
Xander's eyes were wide and wet. "Oh my God, is this the day we met?"
I nodded, stroking the side of Xander's cheek with my thumb. "Yeah."
"Wow. This is so romantic, and thoughtful and wow, Achilles." He touched the charms like they were made of glass. "This is the nicest thing anyone's ever gotten for me. And wow, the treble clef, my favourite one." His voice warbled and he took a heavy breath, "Wow."
Xander threw his arms around me, hugging me across the shoulders. "Thank you." He said heavily, holding me for several seconds.
When he pulled away I cupped Xander's cheeks and kissed his tears away. "No tears tonight."
"Okay." He whispered.
I took the necklace from Xander's hands and unclasped it before clipping it around his neck. It was a nice fit, not too tight, and it didn't hang too low either. I'd chosen silver instead of gold because I figured it would compliment Xander's brown skin nicely and I was right.
"It looks nice on you." I said, fingering the charms and feeling shy suddenly. Maybe,I was getting attached too soon.
Xander surprised me by crawling on top of me, straddling my waist and leaning down to initiate a deep kiss while he stroked the side of my neck. He knew me too well by now, grinding his hips against mine, circling my neck with his warm fingers and kissing me until I saw stars.
It was easier when I let Xander set the pace, even if I did want things, faster, and harder, and rougher. We normally were able to get this far before Xander said any variance of 'stop' and things would grind to an unsatisfying halt. I hadn't expected Xander to have problems having sex with me but every time things got heated he cooled them right back down.
But this was different. Xander was kissing me like this was just an introduction to a lot more. When he let me up for air, I flipped us over until I was on top as I pushed off his shirt. Then, I leaned down to kiss and bite across all his beautiful, smooth brown skin. Xander's moans were low and soft and hot enough that I was just about losing my mind. He would only make those sounds for me. Only I could make him feel this good, this loved. Only I could really take care of my mate.
My canines pushed out as I worked on the join between Xander's neck and shoulder. Instinct told me to mark him, and give him a nice, noticeable bruise so everyone would know he was mine. The moment my canines grazed across his skin, Xander moaned even louder.
But then, he pushed against my chest lightly. "Help me take off my pants." His voice trembled slightly as I moved off of him and he slowly took off his pants, and then his briefs.
I wrestled off my clothing until I was naked as well and Xander's eyes swallowed my body whole as he set his hands on my shoulders, slid them down and around my pecs, across my stomach and then settled them on my thighs. Now, I was trembling.
"Your body is art, Achilles." Xander said, still touching and still stroking. Gooseflesh rose on my skin and I sighed. "I want to...With you. Tonight."
My throat dried, but I swallowed, letting Xander's fingers explore my body. His touch left me as he reached over to the end table on his side of the bed and opened a drawer, taking out a strip of condoms and lube.
It was slow for both of us, and quiet for a bit. It had been a while for Xander and my own forays with the male body were nothing like this. Everything felt like the first time with him.
I stayed lying down, and Xander straddled me again, sitting up and seating himself. When he fit us together I let out a low groan and Xander elicited a harsh breath.
The whole time all I could think about how much I cared about Xander. Everything was just heightened sensation for me. I felt like we were one person, meshed together, sweating and panting and not perfect but perfect together. I kept my hands on Xander's waist, squeezing hard enough to leave marks, not even caring anymore about the bracelet I couldn't take off. It was a part of me, just like Xander was.
He leaned over with us still connected and kissed me, reminding me that like this we could be one and it could be perfect.
#
Overall thoughts?
Isn't the necklace cute?
So they finally bonked, the scene could've been written a bit better but this isn't a mature story, so I left it.
A few chapters left. X has to confront his past and A has to confront his future. Hopefully, they can get it together.