~Achilles~
Family. Pack. Home. My four paws grappled the earth, and I tasted the salt in the air. The magic of the moon pulsed in my blood, making my fur stand on edge and my heart race.
I pawed the grass, shifting from side to side, letting my packmates frolick around me and nip at my paws. I darted back and forth with my brother Anders, jumping on his back and wrestling with him across the ground. My yelps added to the cacophony of the slips of grass sliding across my fur, the whufs of my heavy breathing and the low buzz of insects along with an owl whirring somewhere in a not too far tree.
I licked Anders face, slobbering over his nose and maw. He growled low in his throat, hackles raising as I butted him with my head, wanting to play. Anders was always so serious. I was, too. But today...Today I wanted to play.
I raced around him, before joining the rest of the pack on our run. The woods had several paths throughout them and this was a park owned by the Asheborne pack. It was the one place we could unapologetically be ourselves. Every full moon we had a run and a pack meet. The night was winding down and we were doing our last run.
The alpha took the lead with her betas behind her and gammas behind them. The run was hard as we loped across the grounds, kicking up dust and circling around trees.
We paused, scenting prey. It was easy like this, too. Soundless communication, breaking up into two groups, one moving downwind and the other flanking.
The elk was large, grazing in the moonlight, moving lazily. The alpha shot forehead, pouncing on the animal and tearing at his neck, ripping out his throat before the rest of us jumped in gnawing through firm muscle to get to the fat. I chewed happily, wagging my tail, as the blood dripped down my maw and into my fur. This was bliss.
#
"Achilles." Anders said later, nudging my shoulder companionably. "I have big news."
We were sitting arm to arm at the cafeteria style dining hall in the pack facility. The pack grounds acted as a human campground for the bulk of the year and some members worked here full time. The property was partitioned off so that where we stayed was separated by a lake. The eastern side was our personal property, and the western side was for profit.
Anyone who hadn't been on the run had been cooking sinful amounts of meats and sweets. Shifting was physically taxing and food was almost always necessary after a shift, especially an active one. This was the only time of the month I'd relax my diet but it was always worth it. Running with my pack was the closest I got to being at peace. I was almost myself with them.
The dining hall was full of hungry wolves, sitting on wooden chairs at wooden tables. The pups were running around, under the table and wrestling one another or stuffing their faces with pecan pie. The teens were eating as heartily, barely composed compared to the kids. Us adults were wrapped up in different conversations, couples getting a little handsy and everyone else was talking amicably.
My mother and my step-dad were seated across from me and Anders, with Anders' wife, Justine, beside him. Our little corner lapsed into silence while Anders grinned from ear to ear. "We're pregnant."
Justine elbowed him. "Well actually, I'm the pregnant one." But she laughed while she said it, flushing happily. My mother yelled, getting up out of her seat and crossing the table to hug Justine. "Oh my god!" She squealed. "Congrats, baby. You'll be a beautiful mom. And Anders!" She continued on, hugging Justine and stroking Anders hair before hugging him, too.
Mom's husband, Jim, congratulated the couple, coming around the table to hug each of them in turn, clasping Anders on the shoulder. "I'm going to be a proud grandpa. God, I sound old. Son, I'm so happy for you!"
I felt like I was somewhere else watching their glee. I was happy for Anders, absolutely, definitely. Of course. I patted his back, and gave Justine a kiss on the cheek. But deep down I was...Definitely jealous.
An ugly part of me wished I could be normal like Anders, get a wife, have 2.5 kids, get a fucking dog and be happy. But instead I'd been excited the past few days over going out with a man, as if that was anyone's definition of normal.
The next few minutes were taken up by talks of trimesters, and baby clothes and how expensive it was raising a child and if they'd send the kid to a wolf school or a human one and twins, could they be twins? But eventually the conversation reared it's ugly head back to me.
"So, Lee, dearie." My Mom started. "When are you going to bring a nice girl around and introduce her to the pack?" Her eyes locked onto my wrist, the lines around her eyes tightening for a moment when she saw the bracelet. Mom kept her sleek brown hair short , the dark strands teasing her jawline. She'd always had a lean and sharp face that softened when she smiled.
I frowned, taking a while to chew my pecan pie. trying to maintain a calm I didn't feel. Even so, the back of my neck prickled as a bead of sweat slipped between my shoulder blades.
"Who knows?" I drawled sarcastically. "Maybe, I'll just die alone."
My mom sighed. "Lee, sweetie. There are some nice girls at the pack who wouldn't mind going on a date. You're a smart young man, any girl would be likely to have you."
Jim cut in. "Lily, let the boy take his time. I'm sure he'll find the one and in no time he'll have a nice wolf girl on his arm."
"Maybe I won't end up with a wolf." I said quietly looking around the table. Hope was an ugly thing blooming in my chest. Hoping that they wouldn't care, hoping that they'd understand. But, of course they wouldn't.
Mom coughed, Jim started looking angry and Anders excused himself from the table, going off to tail Justine.
"That's a terrible joke, Achilles." Jim gave me a hard look, not breaking eye contact until he eventually looked down, his expression souring further.
I smiled, letting my canines drop and feeling a courage I didn't normally. "When I find someone to share my life with, you'll be the first to know."
Jim looked angry, the tension between us igniting.. "As long as she fits in with the packâ"
"Right." I cut in quickly enough just to be rude.
He looked to my mom for support. She patted my hand. "Just don't wait too long, honey. Remember there's more to life than advancing your career."
I bit my tongue before I gave them a wan smile, saying I had an early morning and I had to head out. It took me nearly an hour to say my goodbyes. Some of the pups wanted to ride up on my shoulders, and have me run around. Suzanne gave me some left over desserts cause she knew I had a sweet tooth. Dan wanted some advice on his home renovations. Clara asked for a reference letter and the list went on. By the time I was finally leaving I felt like the mask I constantly wore was slipping.
My steps slowed as I got to my car in the parking lot as I realized something was wrong.
"I don't like being followed, Mom."
My mother came out of the darkness, steps quick and soundless as she came up to me. Her face was a mask of worry and worse, anger. She suddenly gripped my wrist around the bracelet, fingers digging into my skin.
"Where exactly did you get this, Lee?" Her voice came out strained and on edge.
"It was Dad's, right?" I said, whipping my hand out of her grasp.
Her face scrunched up. "This isn't Jim'sâ"
"Well, Jim's not my dad."
"Don't be ridiculous, Lee." She said in a voice dripping with disgust. "Jim's the only father you've ever known. Blood doesn't matter as much to him as it does to you."
"You think I can't tell he treats me differently than Anders? I've seen it my entire life, Mom. I'm just a reminder of when you and him divorced. Some dead guy's son."
She shook her head, her dark hair swishing around her face. "Focus on what I'm saying. This bracelet is serious, Achilles. It was Yaniss' family heirloom. It makes- It makes things happen. You should never have put this on."
I blanched, feeling my skin ripple as an image of Xander roared into my mind. "No." I said so quietly I could barely hear myself.
Mom's eyes looked far too intelligent suddenly. "You're not ready, Lee. The way your father and I met...The circumstances were terrible. Jim and I had just divorced, Anders was just a baby and I met your father so suddenly. It was such a dark time for me and he was like a lighthouse. Yannis only told me later that he thought we met because of the bracelet. It turns your life upside down, Lee. You're so structured. I wish you hadn't put it on."
"I just-" I swallowed. "I just felt like I had to."
My mom froze. "You've already met someone, haven't you?"
My wrist burned cold and I was painfully aware of how the freezing metal felt on my skin.
"That's why you're acting like this." She continued. "You're going to feel overwhelmed and overcome by emotion. And you're going to need her, Lee. You're going to need her in a way you've never needed anyone before. And it'll be the most-" her voice broke. "It'll be the most pure kind of love you'll ever experience. Because that's what a mate has the potential to be. And I want that for you, I do. But you have to understand, it's intense and it'll change you." Her eyes were wide and glassy, and I wondered if she was talking about me or remembering herself.
"You're wrong." I whispered harshly, trying to talk over my racing heart. "That can't be what this is, Mom. I don't want this. And I don't need anyone. Being with the pack is enough. My job is enough."
"It isn't about what you want anymore, Lee." Mom touched my shoulder, squeezing slightly.
I pushed my hands through my short strands, feeling like I was going to start hyperventilating. He couldn't be- No- Everyone would know, everyone would know just how fucked up I was. Mates were a man and a woman, nothing else made any sense. This didn't made any sense. I jerked my shoulder away and Mom's fingers left my body.
A knot formed in my throat as I pulled out my car keys, unlocking my Honda Civic. "I haven't met anyone." I said too loudly. "It's just a bracelet." I lied, ignoring the pleading look in my mother's eyes.
In that moment I realized I wasn't the only one who pretended. Mom looked at me like I could understand her, understand what it meant to have an unconscious link to another person. Your other half constantly calling to you. But I couldn't share that with her, not honestly anyways.
I left her standing there and got into my car, pulling out of the parking lot and heading home. It was late, well after midnight and the streets were dark and empty. The fact I barely saw another car only made me think more about Xander. About his stupid smile, his dumb mouth and that fucking hair. I tightened my hold on the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white.
I needed to call Xander and cancel. I couldn't encourage this thing. This whatever between us. I dialled on a red light, the phone ringing and ringing and ringing. Maybe, this was a bad time to call and he was busy sucking blood or whatever vampires did.
"Hello?" Xander said in his perfect voice and that perfect fucking rasp. He repeated himself before I could say something.
"Why does your voice have to sound like that?" I murmured, wishing this could be easy.
"Achilles." He breathed and for a moment I thought I heard his voice catch. But then the sound of almost wonder was gone and his usual light tone was back. "To what do I owe this honour?"
"I need to..." My mouth dried. "I need to call you back." And like the coward I was, I hung up. Feeling more than alone on the empty streets and with an ache in my heart.
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