Chapter 9: Chapter 8

~Xander~

He kissed me. Achilles was cradling my jaw in a light but possessive grip, giving me a long kiss that gradually deepened until we were chest to chest under the covers. His other hand pulled me closer to him as our mouths met in a clash of lips, tongue and teeth, his canines pushing and receding in what I believed was a loss of control.

That's what this was. Achilles and his loss of control as his mouth consumed mine, because I let him. The kiss turned more aggressive as Achilles began kissing down my jaw, the line of my throat and my chest, wrestling off my shirt. He inhaled against the hollow of my throat, teeth dragging across my collar bone. "You smell...Intoxicating." He said around his canines, sucking at the inside of my collarbone as pain flared there hot and bright and good, so good.

I tried to speak but I couldn't, Achilles manipulating sounds out of me I shouldn't have been making. He was lying on top of me now, one of his legs between mine as the comfortable weight of his body was pressed against mine. His hands mapped and roamed over my skin. But, we couldn't get any closer than we already were.

Achilles was still kissing me, complimenting me between exploring my mouth with his tongue, saying wonderful things. "You feel so good." He said against my mouth. "Your skin is so beautiful, you're so beautiful." His breaths were hot against my mouth and my skin but it was like everything he did, I wanted.

Unlike Cory. Slowly, my brain ground to a stop as guilt beat hot and insistently against my throat. Guilt I shouldn't feel. Cory and I were over. But, he was in my mind, throbbing behind my eyes. Fuck.

I turned away from Achilles suddenly, wriggling out from underneath him, not realizing I was so close to the edge of the bed. I fell onto the floor and my head whacked against the carpeted floor and my elbow cracked against the side table.

"Hell." I said, trying to push down the thoughts.

But Achilles came off of the bed to help me, laughing so nicely, with such a big smile. "Are you okay?" He said, running his fingers across my chest, fingering every dip and swell of muscle. I raised myself up onto my knees and Achilles did the same, leaning down to kiss the join between my neck and shoulder before pushing down with his teeth enough that I thought he was going to bite me, mark me, claim me as his.

"I—" I said, touching his chest and pushing. But he only groaned, still kissing me everywhere, still telling me how beautiful I was. I pushed him again, with a bit more force. "Can you st—" But my voice hitched and disappeared.

I kept thinking of Cory, bile raising in my throat, the blood coming back up. Cory wouldn't like this. Cory wouldn't like this. "Cory would—"

Achilles shrank away from me, all the lightness replaced with shock and then a slow but building rage. "What?"

I turned away, touching the building bruise that was my shoulder and pushing down on the spot. "This isn't a good idea."

"No." His voice raised and he struggled to lower it. "You don't get to just gloss the fuck over that. Who's Cory?"

I mumbled, feeling my eyes glass over.

Achilles was only getting angrier, squeezing and releasing his knee. "For someone who always has a response to everything you're being awful quiet there."

I chewed my lip, feeling the way Achilles had thoroughly used my mouth. "My ex."

Achilles' face turned absolutely white. He parted his lips, closed them and then stood so quickly he made himself dizzy. "Wow." He whispered.

I touched my throat, feeling all the little bruises Achilles had given me, liking the feel of them. "It's complicated."

He was nearly yelling. "What's so complicated? I'm here doing something that's hard for me to want and you go and say your ex's name in the middle of things. I can't believe we were about to have se—"

I scoffed. "I was not about to sleep with you, Mister I-can-only-make-moves-on-guys-with-some-liquid-courage."

Achilles' voice was sharp. "Well, you seemed plenty happy in there in the bed with me."

I stood up to point at his chest trying not to seethe too badly. "Of course I was happy in the bed with you. I'm attracted to you, you idiot."

"Don't call me that." He snapped.

"What should I call you then? Jealous? Selfish? Which word do you prefer?"

He frowned, raising his hands to hold my face, circling the swell of my cheekbones with his thumbs. The soft gesture was completely at odds with the harshness of his voice. "Are you sick, or something? Is that what this is? Do you have intimacy issues?"

I closed my eyes, wanting him to just kiss me again. To kiss me hard. "My ex was not a good person." I whispered, licking my lips. "Sometimes, I just feel like I shouldn't be around anyone after that."

"Why?" Achilles' voice was soft.

I shuddered, shaking my head.

"How are we supposed to do this if..." he didn't finish.

"I'm drunk." I said, leaning my forehead against his. "You're drunk. I don't want to talk about Corey. I'm sorry I said his name. I'm sorry it upset you. I'm sorry you kissed me."

"I'm not sorry I kissed you." He said quickly, the sweet scent of wine mingling between our mouths. "I want to keep kissing you."

I closed my eyes. "Tomorrow you're just going to toss me away. That's what going to happen. I'm high maintenance." I licked my lips. "I need someone who wants me as much as I want them. Someone who isn't embarrassed, who wants to show me off. Someone who I can introduce my mother to, who will come to my concerts, who grounds me. What are we even doing here, Achilles?"

He kissed my cheek before sitting back on the bed. He was whispering, now, eyes boring into mine. "Maybe I can try."

"Try?" I breathed.

"Maybe, for you, I can try." He said intently, taking my hand and tracing out the shape, slipping his fingers into mine. "There are things I want, and maybe I want them with you, Xander."

My voice shook. "No lying, Achilles. I won't have my heart broken like that."

He squeezed my hand. "I won't break your heart." He pulled onto my hand until I sat beside him on the bed.

"You can't promise that. And if we try this thing...You have to treat me right. You have to understand sometimes I need space and sometimes I can be clingy. I spend too much time composing music. I work a lot. I'm close to my mom, I don't talk to my dad. You have to understand these things. And—" my voice broke. "You can't hit me, ever."

"Oh, Xander." Achilles said wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tightly. "Let's take it one day at a time, okay?" His face looked so earnest, his brown eyes begging me to trust him.

"Okay."

#

I woke up later to the sound of Achilles' phone ringing. He was laying against my chest, breaths glossing over my skin, legs tangled together with mine. After a few seconds of ringing, he shot up in the bed, looking confused.

He turned over, falling off the bed and hitting the floor with a thump before groaning and picking up his phone. Achilles spoke in a voice addled by sleep. "'Lo?" He shot up on the floor, eyes glowing yellow in the dark. "Wait, slow down, Sunny." His eyes flicked to mine and then he shuffled into the bathroom, closing the door and speaking softly enough that I couldn't hear him.

I got up from the bed, walking to the desk to pack away my laptop and my folder of sheet music. I jogged the mousepad and noticed I'd received a few work emails. And one from the Galatrickiton production team asking where I was on the music for the character themes. The production team had been down my throat lately. I'd fleshed out the themes based on the character sketches they'd given me and pictures of the actors in their gear.

Reluctantly, I opened up my computer and put on my headphones, listening back on what I'd written. Softer and slow for the girl, something that built through arpeggios and a crescendo, representative of her building character arc and the fact the character grew but her core didn't change. My composition wasn't quite there yet.

I emailed them back, not really caring that it was nearly four am. My fingers tapped on the keys as I heard Achilles come out of the bathroom, sighing heavily. I finished my email, closed my laptop and crept into the bed.

Achilles kissed my chest before resting his head there again, surprisingly affectionate. That had been a lovely surprise. We had talked a bit after our conversation earlier, Achilles telling me he wasn't perfect but he would try. We'd fallen asleep cuddling on the bed, wrapped up in our own little bubble. "Sorry." He said, making himself comfortable against my chest.

—

This is how Xander and Achilles are cuddling. But as described Achilles is the one laying on Xander's chest. Achilles is physically larger than Xander, so take with that what you will.

—

I filed my fingers through his short strands and he closed his eyes. "Sorry?"

"Sunny called. She's this kid from my pack. A little weird, but, she was crying." Achilles' voice was quiet. "She's been weird lately, keeps asking me weird stuff."

"How old is she?" Why did he keep saying weird?

"Sixteen. And she's always wearing these thick sweaters no matter the weather. I don't know if it's a goth thing or what." Achilles' hand was low on my belly, warm and present. I felt his heart ricocheting in his chest, pulsating very loudly. Ah, so he was nervous.

"Are you close?" I asked.

"I've known her for the past ten years, so I would say so. The only thing is that she pops up at my place sometimes. She was just asking if she could come over. I had to explain I'm on the other side of the state. Whenever she does come over she just likes to drink hot chocolate with me on the couch. I don't understand her."

"Is she being abused?" I asked, without really thinking about it. I used to wear sweaters when I was with Cory.

Achilles heart stuttered to a stop as he breathed for a long moment. "What?"

"Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know."  I said, missing having my fingers in his hair.

"Well, how would I know? If something's like, I don't know, happening to her? She texts me a lot, about school and clubs and she's super interested in music. She's really into her trumpet and she's part of a city orchestra for talented high school students and—How can you say that? She gets down sometimes but that's doesn't mean something's wrong." The worry bled heavily into and through his voice.

"When we go back home you should talk to her. It seems like she thinks of your apartment as a safe space." Achilles' panicked tone suggested to me that he was reluctantly aware of something.

I made myself more comfortable on the bed and Achilles moved to lie behind me and on his side. His arm was cast across my waist, fingers rubbing circles into my skin. "We'll talk about this tomorrow."  He said quietly.

If he even acknowledged any of this tomorrow.

"Sure." I said, wondering if I had made the right choice in trusting him.

#

Writer's Note:

As y'all know this is an entry for the open novella contest and my story's made it into the third round. Which means I have to have up to 20k words by April 2nd. I'd like to finish the story by then.

Is it surprising that Achilles is suddenly all over Xander?

Should Xander have even let Achilles kiss him?