Chapter 27: 26. SUGAR

When Lust & Envy MeetWords: 12332

Simonetta Vespucci, Di Cosimo, 1490

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『 nsfw 』

Josiah was in front of him.

The subject of every one of his dreams, desires, fantasies, was right here before his eyes. He could reach out and actually touch him if he wanted, feel physicality beneath his fingers.

"W-what are you doing here?" Isaac let out. He could still barely believe he was awake as he continued to stare at the boy in front of him. "How did you find me?"

"What do you think?" he said.

"You're a stalker."

He laughed weakly. "Close. Asher told me where you were."

Damn kid.

Isaac scoffed. "What'd you do, offer him your body? I'm sure he'd enjoy that. Money? Since your father provides you with everything you could possibly—"

"I told him that I'm a loser who made a mistake." Isaac's smirk dropped at how blunt he was. "I told him how much I missed you. And how I'm a loser who couldn't stop missing you."

Both of their voices were getting louder. Scared of waking the neighbors, Isaac took deep breaths to calm himself.

"You used me," he stated. He bit his lip, scared of whatever words would come out of his mouth next. "You made me doubt everything that ever happened between us."

"I know." Josiah had this really sad look in his eyes. As if on the verge of tears, his ocean eyes became a flood. "If it's any consolation, all of it was real to me. I guess it took too long to realize."

"I-I don't know how I'm supposed to feel right now." He wasn't angry, but he wasn't necessarily ecstatic either. Scared, maybe? "For fuck's sake, I don't even know if this is actually happening or if I'm daydreaming. I can't tell anymore."

"You don't have to feel anything," he said quietly. "But I want to come clean once and for all. Just...not here, though."

"Then where?"

Josiah had this habit of running his hands through his hair whenever he was anxious. "I-I had somewhere else in mind." He also tugged on the ends of his shirt sleeves. "Come with me? Please? I have food...and blankets in my car."

So he planned all of this. Isaac couldn't stop focusing on his fidgeting hands and the fact that he planned this.

"Alright."

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✦ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

The interior of Josiah's car smelled of vanilla and felt like a summer night. He really did bring blankets, and offered a plush wool one to Isaac as soon as they entered the vehicle. It was then he spotted a small box of sugar cookies in the back and nearly gasped with joy. "I love these," he murmured.

"I know. You said the same thing at Autumn's wedding."

"I...I can't believe you remembered." Isaac leaned back into his leather seat, pulling his knees to his chest under the wool cover. He let Josiah pull out of the parking lot and enter the main road before he spoke again.

"Why are you doing all of this?" he asked.

Josiah smiled faintly to himself. "No reason."

The rest of their ride was silent, but it was the first time Isaac ever felt genuinely comfortable in such an atmosphere. The hum of the car against the pavement, the sound of their steady breaths and the dim yellow street lights made Isaac fall in love with the night.

Part of him never wanted it to end. He wanted to freeze time and continue this car ride with Josiah forever, eating sugar cookies and snuggling against soft blankets. Another part of him wanted to reach their destination already. He wanted to hear what Josiah had to say.

It didn't take long for him to realize where they were going. When he had a hunch, he barely cracked open his window. Salty air.

They were going to the beach.

In the middle of the night.

During winter.

It's a cute gesture, he thought, but we're going to get pneumonia.

When they reached the parking lot, Josiah grabbed a winter coat, and Isaac made sure to grab an extra blanket.

"Do you remember when we sat together on the bus ride home from retreat?" Josiah asked.

"I do." He vividly remembered dozing off to the smell of a salty breeze just like this.

"I like memories. Whenever my life goes astray I like to look to the past for help. I try to pinpoint where I went wrong, so I never make that mistake again."

Isaac watched intently as Josiah examined the cloud filled sky. They were looming, the clouds, and polluting the stars.

"For some reason, whenever I looked back I was always drawn back to that same memory of us driving past the sea." He took a step into the sand, crunching grains beneath his feet. "I thought that letting myself fall asleep on your shoulder was what ruined me for good."

Isaac followed after, wrapped in a bundle like a burrito of blankets.

"I knew I could never bring you to my father after that." He hesitated. "I was so fucking stupid. When he first told me about you, I thought it would be easy. I thought that you'd be like the rest of them: a task—" He bent forward to pick up a rock "—a stepping stone. I was wired to think that way. I never thought I'd be so attracted to you from the get go." He chucked his rock into the ocean. With a small plop, it sank into the depths.

"It wasn't the bus ride that ruined me. No, it was the moment you stepped into that damn classroom."

Isaac felt a chill and pulled his blankets tight. All this time he'd thought Josiah hated him when they first met. "That's why you were so cruel."

He smiled weakly. "I thought it would be easier if you hated me."

"Why did you do it then? If you wanted me to hate you, why did you sleep with me that night?"

"Why?" He was shocked. "I'd just come out to my mother that day and she hit me. I got wasted. I was frustrated in more ways than one. You were also drunk. I was crazy about you. Then you kissed me first. How could I not?"

"After all this time I thought..."

"I'm so sorry, Isaac. I'm sorry that I was such a jerk to you in the past. I'm sorry for being a coward. I'm sorry for hiding the truth. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry. About everything."

Isaac could hear his voice cracks. He could hear his sniffs, and see him dry his eyes with his sleeve. He soon felt water on his own face, but he realized they were not from his own sobs. Mother nature had started to cry with him.

More droplets fell, bigger ones, and the soft crashing of the waves had intensified. He could feel the blankets around him become heavy with dampness. It wasn't a mere drizzle, it was a storm.

"Kiss me." he said.

"What?" Josiah shouted, barely audible over the sound of water from the sky colliding with water on the earth.

You fool, he thought. "I said kiss me!"

Josiah heard him the second time. He could tell by the way his face lit up and he started heading in his direction.

Then Josiah kissed him.

And Isaac kissed him back.

Honestly, there were no correct words to describe the kiss. All Isaac knew was that he felt dizzy and could taste the sky's tears on Josiah's lips. It tasted like salt.

After pulling apart, they quickly found themselves interlocked again, soaked to the bone, yet somehow warm.

"We should get going," Isaac said after they'd finished. "I really don't want pneumonia."

Josiah laughed. "Does this mean you forgive me?"

"Only if you can get us somewhere safe and dry."

"I'll find a hotel then," he said.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✦ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Surprisingly, Josiah had found them a really nice place to stay the night. Isaac joked about it being much nicer than the motel they'd shared their first night together. Josiah said he loved that motel for bringing them together.

"Do you want to shower first?" he asked when they'd reached their room. "I'm going to order room service. I haven't eaten since noon."

Isaac didn't want to admit that he was disappointed when he didn't offer to join him. He reminded himself that it would probably be wiser to take things slow for now. "Sure."

He used his time in the shower to process everything that just happened, still dizzy from half an hour ago. We kissed. He couldn't stop smiling and feeling hot everywhere. We actually kissed. His face started to hurt.

Meanwhile, Josiah was outside panicking about everything. I didn't even ask him if he wanted anything to eat. I'm the worst! What if he's starving right now?

He ended up ordering a variety of dishes just in case.

What if he was expecting me to join him in the shower? He flung himself onto the bed and stared aimlessly at the blank ceiling, filled with regret. Damn, I should've joined him in the shower.

He heard the water stop. Isaac stepped out with an exposed chest, towel loosely wrapped around his waist and hair dripping wet. Oh no. He made a mental note to keep the shower water extra cold.

"I'm done," he said.

"I just ordered us some food. It's probably going to be here soon."

"Thanks," he said, "I totally forgot to ask for some earlier."

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✦ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

"I will never understand these types of shows," said Josiah. He'd switched on the small television box and left it on a sitcom that played a laugh track every twenty seconds. They could play the irritating noise all they wanted, but he wasn't going to laugh with them.

"As in understand the humor? Or character dynamics?"

"Both."

Isaac had finished placing their tray outside their room when he saw Josiah lounging lazily on his bed in a bathrobe. It was a casual scene, yet wildly seductive nonetheless.

"What are you doing all the way over there?" The boy placed a hand on the empty space beside him. "Come here," he said.

Barely containing a grin, Isaac made his way over to where Josiah laid. He crawled into bed, head nestled against his favorite pillow: Josiah's chest.

"This show genuinely sucks," the brunet complained. Though Isaac wasn't listening, too focused on the smooth, bare skin of his neck. He reached out to touch it gently with fingertips. "That tickles."

It wasn't long before Isaac replaced the touch of his fingers with his lips. It started with a small peck, just enough so that Josiah giggled at the touch. Then Isaac planted more, deepening each kiss. Before he knew it, his soft laughs turned into moans of pleasure.

"Don't stop," he gasped. "That feels really good."

Isaac pushed himself up and straddled the prefect, examining the sight in front of him. He enjoyed how flimsy the robe was and how easily it had slipped from his shoulders to reveal his olive skin. This beautiful boy was his. His hands moved down to pull the tie around his waist carefully, almost like he were unwrapping a gift. It fell open.

Josiah flushed. They'd seen each other naked a handful of times, but now it was different. A good different, but it made him more shy than usual.

"Do you want to do this?" Isaac asked.

He nodded quickly. "Of course." He hadn't wanted anything else this much for a long while. "I want you."

Isaac's mouth met his and it was intoxicating. It was a complete foil to their first ever kiss, from setting to intensity. Whereas their first kiss in the motel was rough and nearly animalistic, this one was slow and passionate. No drug had ever given either of them such a high.

Somewhere in the midst of their exchange, they'd rolled around and Josiah ended up on top. When Isaac wrapped his legs around him and pulled him close, he nearly lost it.

"God, I missed you so much," he groaned.

"I can tell," Isaac teased, reaching to where Josiah was slick and swollen.

"Ah." His entire body shuddered at the touch. "Oh, fuck."

"Did you miss this too?" Isaac guided him onto his back and brought his mouth lower. His lips hovered above his erection. "I bet you did."

"I did." For the next few minutes, Josiah didn't speak much. He only moaned and begged for more.

Isaac knew he was finished when Josiah's intense breathing slowed and the grip on his hair relaxed.

"W-wait," Josiah pleaded. Isaac was just about to let him enter him when he interrupted. "I...I want you to take me."

Startled, Isaac raised his brows. "Have you ever...?"

"No." He bit his lip anxiously. "But I want you to be my first."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded slowly. "Just...be gentle, okay? I don't want it to hurt."

"Of course." The uncontainable smile had returned to Isaac's face. He'd always desired a submissive Josiah underneath him, but left the idea to his fantasies. He couldn't stop feeling happy. "I would never hurt you."

Josiah wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling Isaac back down so that he was on top again. He kissed him. "I know."

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