Chapter 41: Chapter 41

“Just let me regain control of myself,” he murmurs, closing his eyes and resting his head on the back of the chair. He swallows hard, and I watch his adam’s apple bob up and down and glance at Gnash who is now standing, his eyes watching Regan like he is about to attack him if he moves too quickly.

Awkwardly, I sit there while mentally questioning what I’m doing even agreeing to sit in his lap.

Especially after he just told me he is struggling to not harm me, yet I don’t want Gnash to attack him either.

When he opens his eyes and lifts his head, he watches me with a strange expression on his face. “You can hop off now if you want,” he mumbles the last part, looking over at Gnash who sits back down.

“What do you mean?” I ask him remaining where I am, his words only confusing me. He almost looks upset. He turns his head to look back at me.

“You don’t fear me like most women, and your scent is almost intoxicating to me, stronger than it was yesterday.” I almost scoff at his words. If only he knew how much he actually scares me. It’s not about not fearing them because I do, just not for the reasons they think I do. I don’t fear death, but I fear the pain and torture they can inflict before I’m granted it.

“You hate me. I don’t very much like you either, but you don’t fear me, and those that don’t fear me have another agenda, except you. It’s refreshing,” he shrugs.

And he thinks I’m weird because I grew up in a cave and didn’t know what a pancake is? I blink, trying to figure out if I should move off his lap or remain.

“Well, you’re hardly a joy to be around, but I’m curious now. Is it your intention to make women fear you? Or do people just fear you in general because of your lack of social skills and vile manners?”

He clenches his teeth and growls, the sound vibrating from his chest.

“They have reason to fear me. I am what they claim. Or I was? Now I’m a monster, but not by my own choosing,” he states.

“And what was that?” I ask.

“Cruel until I was cursed. Now the only women that come near me are either coerced, threatened, or looking for a way to—” he shakes his head, muttering under his breath.

“Looking for a way to what?”

“My brothers, they don’t want me. They never do. Being with me will earn them death, but my brothers?” he swallows and brushes his fingers through his hair, watching me.

“You just don’t want to be near me in general, but you don’t fear my curse, probably because you don’t know about it, but you will, and then you’ll pick one of them. Your objective will change.”

“My only desire is to be free of all of you; I never asked for this,” I tell him.

“As for your lady issues, go to one of those places… the um..” I pause, trying to remember what they’re called. I had heard men that come to the caves speak of them when they found human settlements.

“A brothel?” Regan laughs, and I nod my head.

“I guess that is one thing my father is correct about. He can’t give us away or bribe us a bride; the only way is to force their hand or your hand.” Regan exhales.

“Well, since I now have to worry about a curse that apparently will make me choose your very friendly, so much more desirable brother Zeke, I would like to hear the details of this curse so I can weigh up my options?” I chuckle, and he raises an eyebrow at me.

He watches me for a second, then purses his lips. His face hardens, eyes darken, and his aura slips out and turns sinister; my stomach drops, and I swallow, suddenly wishing I never asked.

“I’m cursed to kill every woman I sleep with, or any woman I want is cursed to die. In other words, I’m cursed to be alone.”

“Cursed to be alone?” I ask, and he nods.

“Yes, every woman I have been with, I’ve killed. So finding a woman that doesn’t fear me is refreshing.”

“But don’t all curses have loopholes?” I question knowing they do. He just needs to figure out what it is.

“Apparently. But I stand no chance of finding her. The witch made sure of that!”

“So you just have to find a woman who loves you to break it? Well, fuck. You’re definitely screwed, sorry, but I think you’re destined to be alone!” I mock him, and he chuckles.

“No, I have to find my mate, and seeing as there are no Lycan females left, it’s impossible. So I guess you’re right; I am destined to be alone or at least celibate.” He laughs.

“Wait, so you just can’t have sex with them?” Regan raises an eyebrow at me.

“You find that amusing?” he growls.

“I find it amusing that you would think I would choose Zeke, whereas if I picked you, I would never have to worry about being raped by you since one of your father’s rules is I can’t be killed.” I laugh.

“So, in my eyes, that just makes you my prime candidate.” I snicker.

Regan chuckles. “Just because I can’t fuck you without killing you doesn’t mean you’re completely useless to me in that area,” he states. My laugh cuts off, and I look at him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to run now?” he purrs, gripping my hips. His eyes move to my chest, and they flicker. His hand twitches on my hip when he grabs my breast again, making me gasp.

“Regan?” I snap at him but it seems almost like he can’t control himself and I notice Gnash jump off the bed and move closer.

“I don’t want to hurt you. But you forget, human. I can’t fuck you without permission or, in my case, without killing you, but you can’t refuse our touch as long as it is above the waist.” He purrs, brushing his thumb over my nipple.

I clench my teeth, looking out the window, intent on not being present if he’s going to grope me. “You said you wouldn’t touch me.” my voice shakes as I stare at the window.

“You should have hopped off my lap,” he growls then grinds his teeth together making me look at him to realize he is trying not to touch me, he’s just lost to his Lycan senses. His eyes flit to mine.

“But just because I don’t need your permission doesn’t mean I don’t want it.” Regan murmurs, moving his hand and gripping the armchair. His claws deeply into the fabric.

“Go, you can use my shower, just don’t run from the room or I will chase you,” he states looking at the fireplace while I stare at him.

“Hurry up before I change my mind or lose my control.”