Chapter 50: Chapter 50

Regan scoffs, then laughs, making me more embarrassed at my word vomit, but I rather touch him than Zeke first if I’m allowed a choice.

“Wait, you’re serious?” he asks. I chew my lip, this is so embarrassing, and I sounded so desperate.

“I can’t sleep with you,” Regan states.

“I didn’t ask to sleep with you!” My face heats even more at what he suggested. Yet it makes me wonder if he wants to because why did his mind instantly go there? I meant to touch him, not fuck him!

Regan sits up, leaning on one elbow.

“What are you asking for then?” he questions, looking at me rather confused. Oh, don’t make me say it!

“I…” Sighing, I stop feeling humiliated enough. Since when did I find myself so nervous about speaking?

“Zirah?” Regan snarls; I cover my face with my hands, too embarrassed to ask him with him staring at me like I’ve lost my mind.

“You said you can’t sleep with me, but you can do other stuff?” I ask him.

“You want me to touch you?” he laughs.

A gasp leaves my lips, and I shoot up, looking at him. “What? No! I wanted to touch you?” I blurt out.

He watches me for a second like I’m some alien he can’t figure out and falls back on the bed with a heavy sigh.

“Is that a no?” I ask him, and he averts his gaze back to glare at the roof.

“No!”

“So I can?” I ask him.

“No!” So which is it, yes or no? I huff out a breath and drop back down on my pillow, also staring at the ceiling. Well, this just got awkward!

“I don’t think it is a good idea, Zirah. I’m not human.” Regan speaks after a moment.

“Neither is Zeke and you and I both know he’ll do something horrid to me,” I tell him, feeling a little rejected, which is stupid because I can’t stand the man. He is just more tolerable than his jerk brothers.

“I’m not like Zeke!” he states.

“Exactly, you’re not a fucking monster, at least not the same kind of monster!” I tell him, and he rolls on his side quickly to face me, pulling my attention to him.

“No, I’m worse. Do you think this is some joke? I let you touch me? I might lose control and mark you.

Yesterday, I nearly did.” he snaps at me, looking away.

“What?” I squeak.

“That’s how they die. When I mark them, it poisons them. I can’t help it. I have no control over it! And the more I am around you, the stronger your scent is getting. It’s driving me nuts. Being this close to you, I don’t know if I want to kill you or fucking mate you! And you want to take that chance?” he growls angrily. He sneers at me and shakes his head.

“You are not worth losing my kingdom over.” his words sting as if he slapped me, and my face burns as all the blood rushes to it. I nod, and shame slivers through me, and I feel like throwing up. I should never have asked.

Never have I felt so humiliated before, and I now see why Granny kept everyone away from us, why we kept to ourselves. She is right. People will only upset you or get you killed. And I can’t believe that of all the people that upset me most since being here was Regan, someone I want to escape, yet his rejection burns into me fiercely.

“Crap! Zirah, I didn’t mean for it to come out–” I roll over.

“Just forget it, Regan.” I retort.

“You’re being a brat!” I scoff at his words, my humiliation turning to anger. Not only did he humiliate me, but he is also calling me names!

“How am I being a brat? I asked a question. You didn’t need to throw it back in my fucking face!” I snap at him.

“Who even asks that? You don’t just ask to touch someone!” he screams at me.

“Oh, that’s right, I forgot, no one around here asks for permission; they just fucking take what they want and rape them! At least I asked; I doubt Zeke will!” I retort, and he grips my shoulder, shoving me on my back and hovering over me.

“You keep saying how much we fucking hate you, and yet that feeling is mutual, is it not?” He growls. I glare at him. “I didn’t say it to insult you. It came out wrong, and I never expected you to ask something like that! I kill you; I lose my kingdom…. And you lose your life. There is too much at stake. Not just for me, but you.”

“No, you said I am not worth losing your kingdom over, don’t try to backtrack now! It’s fine; I get it loud and clear how fucking beneath you I am. Now get off me!” I snap at him. He growls but lets me go.

“My Kingdom is all I have, and you have no damn filter. You’re so rude and abrupt! You can’t ask someone like me that!” ah, here we go again, I wonder if I will get a peasant speech, or will he take it further and point out every reason for how inadequate I am.

“If I were someone else, I would’ve said yes, Zirah. Have you not heard a thing I have said tonight?”

“But you said you can still do—”

“Yes, I can touch and be touched, just not by you!” he growls.

“Why?”

“Because he wants you,” comes Lyon’s voice, making both of us jump. We both look at the balcony to find Lyon standing in the doorway.

“Lyon?” Regan retorts, but Lyon steps closer, ignoring his brother and looking at me.

“He needed an excuse. His Kingdom seemed like a good enough one! He has wanted you since you challenged him in the stables!” Regan growls at him, and Lyon smirks, raising an eyebrow at him.

“If only you knew how much you push his buttons—”

“Shut up, Lyon. You know nothing!” Regan snarls. Lyon raises an eyebrow. He is wearing a white shirt and blue jeans, looking the most casual I’ve seen him.

“Really? If that were true! Why didn’t you challenge our father for the throne? You’re the oldest, as you love to remind us. He is old. You’d take him, you know it, and so do I. Instead, you chose to play this little game? And why is that?” Lyon taunts, and Regan growls sitting up, looking like he is about to attack his brother.

“He threatened our Kingdoms!” Regan argues, and Lyon rolls his eyes.

“If that is what you want to keep telling yourself, Regan, go for it. But you and I both know the real reason, she challenged you, and now you’re hunting! It just angers you because no one ever catches your attention as she did. That confuses you, but let's not play pretend, Regan. You’re here because you want to be! I know for certain now after what I’ve learned.” I peer up at Regan, but he grits his teeth and ignores his brother's words.