Chapter 11: ── 𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁

┏━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┓

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

┗━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┛

IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS AND Olivia still couldn't bear to open Maxwell's journal and read the first entry, but considering it took Amara a year, she figured she was doing good time.

Her baby bump was progressively getting bigger and Olivia was getting more and more emotional and hormonal by the second and unfortunately, that came with cravings that was sometimes hard to meet.

"I asked for strawberries, Potter, strawberries. Why the fuck are you giving me grapes?" She asked, showing the piece of grape to James as if asking what the heck the thing was.

James couldn't help but let out a sigh. "They aren't serving strawberries, darling."

Olivia glared. "Don't you darling me. It's halloween, how can they possibly not be serving strawberries?"

"It's not strawberry season yet, love," James calmly explained.

Olivia narrowed her eyes. She grabbed the napkin on the table and pointed her wand at it, instantly turning the mundane thing to a colorful get better soon card which she handed to James.

James stared at the card before turning back to her. "I'm not sick, darling, what is this for?"

"Oh I know," she said, taking a bite of her buttered toast. "I just think you could do better, cause this ain't it."

Her words made Remus, Peter, and Sirius burst out laughing, but James simply shook his head in amusement and put down the card. He loved the fact that Olivia was slowly but surely opening up to him. Admittedly, she still hasn't mentioned anything from her past or her parents, but she was a bit more comfortable towards the four boys each day she spent with them. James smirked at her, the same awestruck look in his eyes. "You think you're so funny, don't you, darling?"

"It wasn't a joke, but okay."

James smiled at her, reaching out to pinch her cheeks. He adored hormonal Olivia just as much as he adored normal Olivia. "You're lucky you're beautiful."

She quickly slapped his hand away, glaring at him. "You're lucky I haven't tried murdering you in your sleep."

In front of them, Sirius stood up from his sit, waving a bread knife between the two of them, which made the two turn to him in confusion.

"What exactly are you doing, Black?" Olivia asked.

"Cutting the sexual tension between the two of you," was his answer before he sat back down. "It's not working. I therefore conclude that sex is the only thing that's going to solve it."

Remus wheezed as he drank his chocolate milk. "They obviously have, considering they're expecting a kid."

"Do it again," Sirius said without losing a beat.

Olivia rolled her eyes, already used with their antics. "You're all incorrigible."

"I happen to think it isn't a very bad idea," James smirked. "If you're up for it."

Olivia threw a tissue at him. "Dream on, Potter."

James' mischievous grin widened. "I don't have to dream. All I have to do is think back to that night when—"

Olivia grabbed a piece of bread and shoved it in his mouth to stop him from talking, her cheeks tinged pink. The three other marauders laughed some more.

From a few feet to their right, a certain redhead watched the scene, unable to help the flutter of jealousy that took over her body as she watched James and Olivia's interactions, and saw the adoring eyes the Gryffindor boy seem to sport everywhere nowadays.

Olivia's eyes darted to the other side of the Great Hall where a certain russet skinned Hufflepuff girl arrived, the red fruit she held in her hands almost made her drool. "Kat!"

Katherine Summers turned to call, seeing a grin that should be measured in meters rather than inches on the Slytherin's face. Kat swept her eyes over the people sitting around her and she almost wanted to turn around and run. Three of them grinned, happy to have even met her eyes at all while one stared at his food like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Heaving a sigh, she approached them.

"Well, hello there, KitKat," James greeted joviality. "I did't know you knew my little darling Olivia."

Kat raised an eyebrow at the boy she used to know so well. "Hello to you too, James. I never thought I'd find you with a kid."

James grinned. "Well, technically, the kid isn't here yet."

Kat shrugged. "A little late, but congrats, James."

The boy's grin widened, his eyes darting to Olivia's currently flat stomach. "Thank you, KitKat, really."

Olivia watched Remus stand up to wrap the girl in a fierce hug, suddenly feeling like she was overstepping a moment. It was unusual enough of her to have called on someone as if they have been friends for years when in reality, she's only ever talked to the Hufflepuff once. "You guys know each other?"

"Old friends," Kat answered, her eyes going over to the Black boy who still hasn't lifted his gaze from his food. "Why did you call me here, Liv?"

"Oh," Olivia suddenly felt very sheepish as she sat back down and gave the girl a shy smile. "No reason, I just wanted to see how you were."

Olivia didn't know what was happening to her, why she suddenly felt so open around these people as if she could tell them all her secrets, but she knew she never would, because there are some secrets even she didn't know about.

"She was gonna ask for your strawberries," James answered for her. "Cravings."

The kind smile that broke into the girl's face as she offered Olivia the container of fresh strawberries made her hesitance vanish away. "You should have said so."

Gratefully, she accepted the fruit she's been looking for since the night before. "Thank you."

"Where did you get it?" James asked. "I've been looking."

Kat smirked at them. "The house elves favor me."

"You've probably been giving them candies again," Remus said adoringly.

James turned to Olivia who was happily munching on the fruit. "Do you want more?"

Almost child-like, Olivia shook her head. "I think I'm fine."

"Well, in that case, I better go ahead," Kat said. "Class is about to start. I'll see you around, Liv."

"Thank you for these."

Just as she was about to leave, Remus caught her hand, slightly pulling her back. "Talk to you soon, okay?"

Kat's eyes seem to dart back to the boy who still haven't acknowledged her presence before moving back to Remus' soft forest green ones. "Sure."

As they settled again, a blanket of silence fell over them and Olivia knew Katherine Summers wasn't just an old friend. She held a soft spot in the marauder's heart, much like she did even though she still isn't aware.

Like Kat had predicted, a ringing of the bell signaled the end of their breakfast and the start of their first lesson, which happened to DADA; a subject being taught by Olivia's older sister.

"Amara said we'd have an interesting lesson," Sirius said, talking again for the first time since Kat reappeared in their lives. "What do you think she'd discuss?"

"Professor Kinsley, Sirius, professor Kinsley," Remus corrected as the five of them sat on their usual seats.

Right then, Amara entered the class, beaming at them all. Everyone fell silent, watching as the young woman walked to the front of the classroom in her usual muggle clothes. "Alright, please move all the chairs and tables to the back and move forward. We will start shortly."

Once the chair were all pushed to back, they all stood in front of the young teacher. Next to her is a shaking cabinet. Olivia felt her throat tighten, knowing exactly what's inside.

"Can anyone tell me what this is?" Amara asked, pointing at the cabinet.

Lily's hand, as always, was the first one up. Amara nodded at her. "It's a boggart, professor. They are creatures who sense our darkest fears and duplicates them. No one truly knows what a boggart looks like. It shows something different to each person."

"Correct. 5 points to gryffindor. Now, thankfully, there is a very simple spell that is used to propel a boggart. Can anyone tell me what it is?"

"Ridikillus." Olivia mumbled loud enough for the teacher to hear, remembering her days at the Kinsley minor as a child, filled with dark creatures and even darker secrets.

"That's right. Now repeat after me, Ridikillus!"

"Ridikillus!" The class chanted together.

"Very good. Now form a line.

The boggart took many forms as the line thinned. Snakes, spiders, failure, dementors, death of loved ones. Lily's had been all her friends and family dying. Peter's was the fear of being alone. James fear took in form of Olivia, surprisingly enough specially to Amara who watched as her little sister's doppelgänger cried out in pain, a trail of blood dripping to her legs. To those who knew, it was easy enough to understand what James' feared; losing his child. He took a shaky breath before chanting the spell that made the horrific picture disappear.

And finally, it was Sirius' turn.

Now, if one were to ask Sirius Black what he feared most, he would probably give you some ridiculous answers like house elves (damn you, Kreacher!), or probably a spider, which James had to get rid off for him far too many times that Sirius will ever care to admit. Or probably one of those mental image of a giant green guy with serious anger management that Remus had planted in his brain after he made him read those stupid muggle comic books in third year. He will answer you with a lot of petty fears that will simply shake your head and roll your eyes. It was simply impossible to imagine Sirius Black running at the sight of a house elf.

He would be lying. For Sirius Black knew exactly what he feared most in this world. And it was not something as silly as a spider or a comic character. It's far more complex and complicated than that. His fear did not came from nowhere like most people in this room. No, his fear came from somewhere. Somewhere much deeper. It came from the fancy house that he had been stuck in for more than 15 years. It came from the blood that runs through his veins. There was no escaping it.

Sirius faced the boggart who had now formed into a shape of a man that was far too familiar for anyone's liking. This man wore the fanciest robes that Sirius had ever seen. He matched it with black smart trousers that has silver lining in them. His raven hair is pulled back in the most regal way. His grey eyes were like glass, cold and unmoving. There is not a single flaw on his skin. He leans on the wardrobe behind him, a silver crown dangling from his long, slick fingers. His eyes were bored as he watched the crown move from side to side.

For Sirius Black feared himself.

The two stared at each other; one, a collected prince of a man, the other, a bundle of static nerves and electric charge, and the two were different monsters hiding under the same mask.

Eventually, the doppelganger drawled, "Look what's become of you."

Sirius didn't answer, ashen and stunned.

"You're a waste of a man, you know. Your parents didn't want you, hell- they would have shipped you off if you hadn't left. Good riddance, they said, finally free of a fucking. worthless. inconvenience." The boggart spat out the words with a more refined version of Sirius' accent.

"Your brother, well, he was just glad you left him alone with ma and pa. They're lovely people, you know. Your brother found that out all by himself when you left."

The Black undercurrent to that last sentence remained unsaid, but he knew what it meant anyway. Sirius' neck throbbed with veins, his eyes grew stony with tears. When it came to Sirius, seeing this much anguish on a boy who you have only ever seen laugh, made it a weakness. It was like they were all escaping into his subconscious; a place dark and twisted beyond rational belief.

"Sirius," James said quietly. Olivia looked at him. The set of his shoulders was tight, and his whole body was rigid with the anticipation of intervening. His hazel eyes were glassy, his knuckles clenched. "Sirius, come on. This isn't real!"

He moved forward, standing close enough so that Olivia couldn't hear anything he was murmuring.

"There's no reason to be scared. That isn't you! This isn't real," James urged again, an insistency to his words and a desperation to his body language.

"You're wrong," Sirius whispered. His eyes were burning.

"What do you mean?" James asked. "This is all in your head."

"I know. That's what scares me."

The boggart, it seemed, got tired of this conversation, for he leapt forward with a gracefulness only aristocrats could possess. "Enough of the lovely, heartfelt chat."

Its grey eyes pierced James, who flinched, for this was a beast wearing his best friend's face, and how could anyone ever be okay with that? It focused back on Sirius, who looked broken. His face verging on crumbling.

"What about James? Hm? When have you ever benefited James? When have you ever been worthy of him? He doesn't even like you, never mind love you. You're not his brother. You're just some posh boy who ran away from home. You're such a charity case."

It got closer and closer, until its nose was almost touching Sirius', who refused to look away. It smiled, although the action resembled a snarl and inhaled deeply, thriving on the fear it tasted there. "Did you really think he ever cared for you at all?"

James stumbled backwards, overthrown by the weight of the words. It was a low blow, everyone knew.

To Sirius, James was the thing that made the world turn, and the oxygen in the air. To Sirius, James was his lifeline.

"And Remus? We all know that he only wanted you because he needed you. You're so desperate to have friends that you would accept someone like him." Olivia had never seen Remus Lupin look so hurt.

"What about the girl?" Sirius' eyes sparked. Olivia watched in shocked, realizing that maybe Sirius hid worse demons than she did. "Oh, you like her don't you? You don't know why but you like her. You fall too easily. You're just so desperate for love. It's pitiful. She's too good for you, though. You know that, right. It doesn't matter anyway. She's never going to choose you. But you expected it, didn't you? You've always been second choice. Second choice after Reg, second choice after James, and now second choice after Remus."

The creature got angry, clenching his fists and swinging them, gritting his teeth as though Sirius' refusal to understand actually pained him. "You're just one big, colossal fuck-up! That is all you have ever been! Don't you understand?! How do you not understand that?! You are Sirius Black. You belong to the darkness."

"Riddikilus." His voice was feeble but strong, yet it worked. The boggart Sirius screamed on its descent; skin being replaced by felt, control by string. It had turned into a human-sized puppet that danced and sang and tripped over all the grooves in the floor. Only half the class laughed; the rest, too shaken up about the slither of a tormented soul that resided inside Sirius Black, whose boggart was himself.

James had been quick to catch Sirius once he collapsed and without the need to say anything, he led him out of the class, only locking eyes with Olivia for a few moments before finally turning around.

Olivia, who was too shocked to move, didn't realized that the boggart now stood in front of her, it's next form taking place. She let out a choked sob as a dead body lay in front of her, it's skin pale and the chocolate brown hair matted with blood. She knew who it was, she's seen in her nightmares enough times.

In front of the room, Amara stood frozen in her place, seeing for the first time, the dead body of her little brother.

But unlike Olivia's nightmares, the body moved, it's bones cracking and bending in different directions and when it opened it's eyes, Olivia didn't see the usual grey she shared with her brother, instead she saw bright hazel eyes filled with fear, and suddenly it was no longer Maxwell in front of her, but a young boy battered and bruise staring back at her with hazel eyes framed by round glasses, his skin pale and littered with freckles and his messy hair a beautiful shade of chocolate brown.

"Help!" The boy screamed in high pitched tone that completely tore Olivia's heart in two. "Please, help! They're going to kill me!"

Everyone watched, especially Amara, wondering what was so significant about the little boy that affected the Slytherin girl so much, not at all knowing that they were getting a glimpse of the future.

Just as soon as he appeared, the little boy was gone. Now stood in his place was a man Olivia had always cower away from as a child. Martin Kinsley stood in front of his daughter, looking taller and bigger than she remembered. A sneer on his face as pure disgust filled his whole feature. He raised his large hand, a popping sound echoing around the classroom as his hand collided with Olivia's cheek, leaving a red hand mark. "You absolute waste of space! I should have killed you when I had the chance. You bring nothing but shame to this family! You don't deserve to carry the noble name of Kinsley—"

"Caligo!"

The creature didn't turn into anything amusing, simply melted, eyes popping, human bones disintegrating, into a puddle of dark mist on her shoes. Olivia turned numbly to register who cast the spell, and saw the Amara holding her wand out. The woman leapt into action, hurrying to close the lid of the chest once the mist had seeped back into the confines of its existence, looking as shaken and terrified as Olivia felt.

Olivia felt unstable. Her head was light and her body was too heavy, and she collapsed before she could properly contemplate her predicament. The floor was cool and a relief on her feverish skin.

Someone's touch, tender and tangible, grazed her arm, and their fingers were cold and coarse. Remus kneel in front of her, his presence soft yet demanding, and his hand was a reassuring pressure on her arm. The other hand cupped the back of her head, pulling her to him, and she let her head rest on his shoulder, gripping his shirt. Olivia's eyes never closed. They were wide, still seeing Maxwell's dead body, her son's face of pure terror and her father's heavy hands stinging her cheeks.

Remus's grip tightened. He pulled her even closer. "Olivia, I'm sorry. I'm-"

He couldn't even finish. His voice caught on the words, and he tugged her into him. Olivia held him like he was her only connection to the world, and, in that moment, he was.

Dimly, she was aware of Peter being told to fetch Madam Pomfrey. Dimly, she was aware of the eyes that bore into her, of the bewilderment that fueled the other students in the class. Dimly, she could feel her heart erratically shattering her ribcage. And with Remus words registering her mind, she allowed herself to be swallowed by the darkness.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞:

If you guys haven't noticed,

Kat has history with the

marauders. Before it was Olivia

and the marauders, it was Kat

and the marauders so watch

out for the book I'm planning

to write for that.

Anyway, enjoy this messy ass

of a chapter I wrote in between

doing my thesis and please tell

me what you think.