CHAPTER FOUR !
ââ "this is me trying"
âââââ
OLIVIA HATED HERSELF FOR FALLING victim to James' stupid puppy eyes.
He claims that it's good for her to absorb sunlight every once in a while since she doesn't often leave the comfort of her dorm unless it's either for class or food. Not that there was much sun anyway. Autumn brought nothing but chilly winds and cloudy skies as Olivia sat bundled up on the bleachers with her cheeks pink from the cold and a prominent frown on her face.
She woke up that day with James Potter throwing her door open and launching himself on her bed. How anyone could be cheerful at six in the morning was beyond her.
"Wake up, Olivia," he called loudly, trying to pull the duvet away from her.
She groaned as she buried her face deeper into her pillows. "Leave me alone, Potter."
"It's time to get up," he insisted, successfully pulling her covers away. "It's morning."
She glares at him. "Goddamn it, Potter. So what if it's morning? What am I suppose to do? Photosynthesis?"
He smirked, grabbing both her wrist and pulling her up.
"Come on. We got to start the day and be productive. It's a new day with new possibilities."
Olivia glared at him, trying to make herself as heavy as possible, but James wasn't even struggling. "Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit."
Needless to say, he ended up convincing her to go out and she ended up grumpy which Sirius would argue is her usual state anyways. She hasn't even gotten her breakfast yet.
Unfortunately, Remus caught a flu and opted to stay in bed and rest it away. Peter had to go meet Lily Evans who agreed to help tutor him before his Charms exam later that day, and Sirius flew around with James so she sat there absolutely alone.
Funny how this wouldn't have bothered her less than a month ago, but now Olivia somehow felt odd without the obnoxious boys on either sides of her.
She watched as Sirius and some Gryffindor chaser she didn't know continuously throw the quaffle to the keeper who was trying his hardest to block it. James had released a snitch and was making their seeker, Mary McDonald, look for it. The two beaters ran laps as fast as their brooms could manage while James flew above them all and gave instructions.
Quidditch was not a sport Olivia found necessary. She simply didn't find joy in watching people fly around chasing a ball while trying to kill each other and avoid being killed. But then again, Olivia had always been the kind who'd rather stay in her room with a good book so maybe she shouldn't be the one judging something she's never tried before.
James threw a grin her way which Olivia returned with a glare. She wanted him to know how much she didn't want to be there looking a lot like most of the disgusting love sick girls and boys she shares the stands with who was no doubt just there either for their boyfriends or Sirius and James.
He flew over to her, holding on to his broom with one hand and running his other through his windswept hair. "You alright there, love?"
She glared as hard as she could, but it doesn't seem to bother James.
"I'm freezing. I don't know why I agreed to this."
"You weren't able to resist my charm."
Olivia rolled her eyes. "Charm my fucking arse. You dragged me out of bed."
"It's only forty five minutes more before practice ends and we can get breakfast," he told her.
Olivia said nothing and instead chose to keep glaring at him.
He smirked, amused with her annoyance. Truth be told, he woke her up because he knew that she liked to sleep late and stay in which, in his opinion, wasn't healthy either for her or for the baby. He's hoping she'd be tired enough by the end of the day to sleep at a more appropriate time.
"So the first game will be this Saturday. Will you come to support me?"
"Why on earth would I support you on a game against my own house?" She asked, eyebrow raised.
"Because I'm your baby daddy?"
Olivia scrunched up her nose in disgust, looking a lot like she's about to throw her shoe on him.
"For the love of god, Potter, will you stop saying that?"
"Will you go to my game if I do?" James grinned wildly at her, happy with how easy it is to annoy her.
"I don't like the sport. I don't understand why you need me there."
James didn't say anything and instead settled for bargaining. It didn't take Olivia long to realize that the boy was either blackmailing or bargaining to get what he wanted. Or sometimes forcibly taking it. So long as he got what he wanted in the end which, in her opinion, sounds a little manipulative but he seems to understand where to draw the line to stop. Or he doesn't considering his long lasting history with Lily Evans. It was a trait Olivia found both good and bad. James Potter simply didn't know when to give up, and sometimes that can be a bad thing.
"If you agree to watch then you can go back in the castle now and I won't wake you up this early ever again," James said with a smirk, knowing it was an offer she couldn't possibly resist.
Olivia spends as much time sleeping as Sirius does being the disappointment child which is truly saying something.
"What makes you think I can't just march out of here and hex you when you try waking me up at this ungodly hour again?"
"Six in the morning isn't an ungodly hour, Olivia," James mused. "And no matter how much you deny it, you actually like having the other lads and I around. That's why you listen to us. I can see it in your face."
Olivia scoffed at the implication of his words.
The mere suggestion of her feeling anything other than annoyance for the four boys who had squeezed themselves into her life made her want to vomit.
"The only benefit of being bothered by you lot is the fact that you're willing to run around and fetch me food," she countered, sounding snotty. "But actually enjoying your company? I believe you're mistaken, Potter."
They both know she's lying. The minuscule grin on the corner of her lips said as much. Of course, she's lying. She found that she doesn't mind their company at all, but Merlin forbid Olivia would ever let James Potter have the satisfaction of being right.
"Keep lying, maybe you'll start believing them," he teased. "So will you go this Saturday?"
Olivia thought it through. She truly has nothing to lose if she attended, except maybe her sanity. Being crowded with so much people often ended up with her struggling to breath, but she's almost sure that she's overcome that fear already. Nonetheless, that didn't mean that she doesn't actively avoid being surrounded by a large group of people. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why she doesn't like quidditch. The first time she ever attended a match when she was in first year ended up with Maxwell and Amara bringing her to the hospital wing.
However, she has a nagging feeling that James isn't really asking. He'd find a way to force her there one way or another. Crossing her arms, she finally nods. "I'll think about it, but don't think I'm doing it for you. The only reason I'm even considering it is because I'm currently dying from this temperature."
She's only partly telling the truth and they both know it.
The wide smile â not a mischievous grin or a smirk â that he gave her did things to the organ that was pumping blood, but Olivia blames it on hormones.
"Good enough for me," he grinned.
She stood up, ready to leave with her arms wrapped around her for warmth, when James called back to her.
Turning around, she watched him fly closer to her, raising an eyebrow in question, but James doesn't answer. He simply unwrapped the Gryffindor scarf hanging around his neck and placed it around hers, fixing it the proper way so it was securely protecting her exposed skin from the cold.
He smirked at her. "I'll see you before potions, beautiful."
For a while, she stood there trying to fight the smile threatening to break through her face as he flew back to his teammates. The smell of soap with hints of a very expensive cologne and his lemon scented shaving cream invading her nostrils.
Putting her wand on her lungs, she muttered a spell to amplify her voice. "Hey, Potter!"
Her voice echoes around the field, making each and every person turn to her. The players and everyone else stopping whatever they were doing to watch her.
James turned back in surprise.
Before she can talk herself out of it, Olivia decided to just blurt it out. "If I'm watching your game then you better not suck."
Even from where she stood on the bleachers, she could see the bright smile that covers his face.
_._._
OLIVIA MET WITH PETER BY the Great Hall. He stood beside Lily Evans and she couldn't help but bite the inside of her cheeks. She wasn't a confrontational person. In fact, she's always put effort into avoiding being put in any uncomfortable situation. She knew that if the whole school wondered why she was suddenly around the Marauders, then Lily Evans, whom James Potter chased for years, would be the most curious as why he suddenly stopped.
"Hey, Liv." Peter greets, getting a smile from Olivia in return. Truth be told, Olivia doesn't mind Peter's company. He isn't as obnoxious as James and Sirius and he's able to carry conversations. In fact, it almost feels peaceful to be around him.
"Is that James' scarf?" Peter asked, and Olivia doesn't miss how Lily's ears perked up as she began eyeing the Gryffindor scarf around her neck as if only now realizing it was there.
"Yeah. He said they'll meet us before potions."
Peter turned to the redhead beside him, flashing her a shy but friendly smile, a slight blush covering his cheeks. "Bye, Lily. Thank you for helping me."
"It's no problem really. Tell me when you need help again," the redhead replies kindly before giving Olivia a nod of acknowledgment, entering the Great Hall and heading to her friends.
Olivia couldn't help but watch her, trying to see exactly what James saw. It isn't too hard to see considering that she's a beautiful, smart, and a kind witch. It's no wonder why a man like James Potter would be completely besotted to a woman like Lily Evans.
Trying to swallow the sudden bitter taste in her mouth, Peter and her found a seat on the farther end of the Slytherin table, successfully making some Slytherins glare but none of them said or did anything. Slytherins are definitely territorial people but they respect one of their own.
Olivia eats her breakfast in silence. Peter and her really didn't have much to talk about at the moment. Thankfully, pregnancy was being kind to her as she hasn't thrown up or felt nauseous.
The silence was only broken when Lucas flopped down on the seat next to her looking like he's just rolled out of bed.
The boy groans loudly. "Whoever invented classes before ten am deserves to rot in hell."
To say that Lucas has opened up since Olivia met him two days ago would be an understatement. He's a cheeky bastard who often acts like Sirius and James. Thankfully, he's cute and Olivia finds his mischievousness adorable.
"My first class isn't until nine," she told him, trying to comb through his hair with her fingers in an attempt to untangle the curls. The little boy quickly found a place in her heart and Olivia can't help but treat him like a little brother.
"Mine's eight," he pouts, grabbing a bagel and shoving it in his mouth.
Glancing at her wristwatch, she frowns at him. "Which is fifteen minutes from now and yet you haven't had breakfast."
The little bastard grinned cheekily as he stood up, swiftly planting a kiss on her cheek before biting onto the bagel and grabbing another one. He only smiled at her as he ran out of the hall.
Olivia shook her head in amusement. She wonders if her baby will be a boy. She doesn't mind it, but she's slightly worried with having a tiny James Potter running around. She can't imagine what kind of trouble that child will bring being raised by James and having Sirius around.
And yet, the thought of it doesn't bother her as much as she thought it would.
Her breakfast was interrupted the second time by an unfamiliar tawny owl dropping a letter straight on her food. Muttering a curse under her breath, she waved her wand to swiftly clean up the mess.
She grabs the letter, instantly freezing when she saw the handwriting. She'd recognized those curved letters anywhere.
She tore the letter, hungrily scanning the words. She hadn't heard from her sister in so long and she was so desperate to know how she is. She was desperate to feel that familiar unconditional love that only family could give you, that only her siblings had ever been able to give her.
The parchment holds only one sentence, one line, but it's enough to give her hope.
I'm choosing a side like Maxwell wanted. See you soon, Tiny.
Olivia can't help but smile. Amara is coming home.
_._._
JAMES AND SIRIUS didn't appear till five minutes into potions, their hair still wet and their ties loosely hanging on their necks.
Peter, unfortunately, doesn't qualify to attend the class and Remus is still resting back in his dorm so she's stuck dealing with James and Sirius alone.
The two muttered cocky apologies, one that Slughorn dismissed with a wave of his hand seeing as both are part of his Slug Club. They quickly made a beeline towards her, James sitting next to her and Sirius on his other side.
"Hello again, darling." James greets cheekily.
"Potter," she greets quietly, not looking from her parchment as she continued writing the notes written on the board.
"Please open your book to page two hundred forty five," Slughorn instructs. "Where you will find the instructions to brew the Death-Cap Draught. You may group yourself into three."
Olivia looked at James and Sirius who had matching smug looks on their faces. She can't help but sigh.
"I advise you to take great care brewing this potion," Slughorn berates again, meeting each of their eyes. "The Death-Cap draught is extremely poisonous and might cause death upon drinking huge amounts."
"Lovely," Olivia mutters, flipping her book to the instructed page. She turned to her two companions. "Black, go get the ingredients. Potter, you prepare the couldron."
"The stress is bad for the baby, Liv." Sirius whines.
Olivia rolls her eyes at the childish display. "I'm actually not feeling any stress at all. Of course, other than from the fact that I'd have to deal with you two for the next couple of hours."
"I was talking about me," Sirius sassed. "I'm the baby."
"Just go get the ingredients, Pad." James told his best friend, forcibly pushing him out of his chair.
Sirius, as mature as ever, stuck his tongue out. "I see your allegiance have changed, Prongsie."
"Such a drama queen," Olivia mutters once Sirius walked away.
Surprisingly, working with Sirius and James wasn't as bad as Olivia anticipated. They actually worked well together and was able to properly do all she assigned them to do. She realized that they truly were smarter than she thought and maybe she's been underestimating them the entire time.
But of course, something always has to go wrong.
James had been in charged with cutting the beetroots, Sirius with reading the instructions to her and Olivia with stirring the potion.
"It's suppose to turn a dark grey," Sirius told her, flipping the page as he unbuttons his shirt. It was a sight for most women to see Sirius Black with three open buttons, teasing them with the lines from his collar bone leading to his torso, but it barely fazed Olivia.
"It's still a light grey," Olivia announces, frowning a little as she keeps stirring.
"Continue stirring it counter clockwise till the right colour appears," Sirius instructed. "And once it becomes dark, add the beetroot."
Nodding, Olivia did as she was told. It didn't take long for the potion to turn a dark grey, making her turn around to ask James for the next ingredient.
Just at that moment, a clumsy Ravenclaw accidentally bumped on their table, causing their potion to tip over.
"Olivia!" Sirius shouts in warning, reaching out to pull her out of the but he was a few feet too far.
Olivia turned around in alarm to see the grey liquid tipping over. She prepared herself for the burn, but instead she felt someone grab her arm, pulling her out of the way.
James' scream in agony filled the dungeons, his arms protectively wrapped around her shoulders. His robes was completely burned due to the poison, and his back looked like it had been burned with fire.
"Mr. Potter!" Slughorn cried out, quickly approaching the two students. "Are you okay, Mr. Potter?"
James didn't answer, only biting his lip to prevent himself from screaming out in pain again. Olivia glared at the professor. Of course he wasn't okay as if that isn't obvious. He just had skin contact with a deadly poison. She wrapped his arm around her neck to help support his weight.
"Potter, you bloody idiot," she mutters at him.
"Are you okay?" He asked by her ear, voice weak. "The baby?"
"It didn't touch me," she assured him, helping him sit on the stool before muttering a spell to numb his back. James shivered at the cold air, but smiled at her in gratitude.
"He should go to the hospital wing," Lily announces loudly, looking like she's about to faint with worry.
Olivia too felt like she's about to faint. The traitorous part of her rejoiced that he saved her from the pain, but her logical side told her that he only did it for the baby. His child.
Sirius put both of James' arms around his shoulder before hosing the boy on his back, Slughorn using a spell to make James lighter as the three of them headed as fast as they could to the hospital wing. James is starting to get delirious and his eyes were fluttering as if he was forcing them to stay open.
"Madame Pomprey!" Olivia called when they arrived as Sirius placed James on one of the beds.
The messy haired boy cried in pain again when the cloth of the bed sheet touched his burnt back.
"Mr. Potter!" Madame Pomfrey breath out in surprise upon seeing the blood drip from his skin. The mediwitch quickly rushing to the bed James sat at, shooing Sirius, Slughorn and Olivia. "What in Merlin's name happened to him?"
"Death-Cap Draught, Poppy," Slughorn explains.
"It wasn't completely brewed," Olivia said, hoping that simple fact could make a difference. She had read all about the poison and knew that it was extremely deadly. "But the Death-Cap mushroom had been added."
"How did it happen?" Madame Pomprey asked as she inspected his burn.
"Someone bumped the table and it was suppose to fall on me," Olivia explained. "But this bloody git and his stupid hero complex grabbed me out of the way."
James grimaced painfully. "I did it for the baby."
"He's right, Ms. Kinsley," Madame Pomprey said. "Had you been the one poisoned, it can potentially kill the baby."
Olivia frowned, knowing they were right, but that didn't mean that she had to like the fact that James was quite literally writhing in pain because he chose to save her like the idiot that he is.
"I suggest you leave him with me now," the mediwitch said. "Healing his skin won't be a very nice experience."
"I'm not going anywhere," Olivia said firmly.
"Liv, I think we shouldâ" Sirius tried to reason, but Olivia shook her head.
"I'm staying," she insist.
"Ms. Kinsleyâ"
"You're not going to change my mind so don't even bother."
James forced himself to turn to her, grabbing onto her hand. "You don't have t-to stay, Olivia."
"Shut up, Potter. I'm staying whether you like it or not."
Madame Pomfrey shook her head as if she didn't have the energy to argue with her. "Fine. You can stay, but I need to move over to that bed over there and keep quiet."
Olivia nods before letting go of James' hand and moving over to the bed next to his.
Madame Pomfrey then pointed at Sirius and Slughorn. "I need you two out of here now."
"I'll bring you guys food later," Sirius told his friends before gently squeezing James' shoulder. "See you later, Prongs."
"I'll inform your professors, Mr. Potter, Ms. Kinsley." Slughorn told the two.
"Thank you, professor."
"I suggest you prepare yourself, Mr. Potter, because you're in for a rough night," the mediwitch informed him, shaking her head in what seems to be pity, before leaving to get what she needs.
Olivia hopped out of the bed she was sitting on and went to James side. "Are you okay? Never mind, stupid question. You're obviously not okay."
James forced a smile. "I'm actually quite alright, darling."
But she knew he's lying for her sake because there's absolutely no way he's okay with the burn on his back. She heard his scream in pain and can see him fighting himself to grimace every few seconds. He isn't okay and she can see that, but James is a Gryffindor through and through. He's still annoyingly putting on a brave face.
"I'm sorry," she told him sincerely, her cold facade disappearing. "I should have been paying more attention."
James blinked multiple times, trying to keep himself awake. "Don't be stupid, darling. Even if you were facing the potion, it still would have fell. Don't blame yourself."
"You shouldn't have grabbed me out of the way." Olivia doesn't like having debt on people. "I could have taken it."
James smirked at her weakly. "I know, love, but I'm not sure our baby could. I did it for our family."
Madame Pomfrey arrived before Olivia can say anything else, shooing her out of the way as the older witch brought out her wand to perform healing spells.
Olivia sat there as she watched them, cringing every time she heard James' grunts of pain, but his words occupied her mind.
Family. He called them a family.
What an odd thing that word is.