Chapter 15: Until You: Chapter 15

I should be excited, but instead I’m exhausted. I couldn’t sleep last night, and before I knew it, my alarm clock went off. I spent all night twisting and turning, my thoughts drifting from Brad to my new job, and everything in between. I’m so anxious that I’m struggling to breathe.

I’m worried that I won’t be good at my job here, and that Gray will regret offering me this job. I keep imagining everyone knowing I’m a pity hire. I imagine my new colleagues gossiping about how I came in through connections and never would’ve made it in by myself, and they’d be right.

I’m scared I’ll let Grayson down. He probably wouldn’t even say anything. He’d try to hide his disappointment, but I’d know.

On the other hand, I probably won’t be working with Gray directly. He’s the CEO, and I’m about to become yet another of his countless employees. I’ve been dreaming about working for Aequitas for years now. I know how many floors his building has, how many departments there are, and who their biggest clients are. The chances of us working together are slim to none, and I’m not sure if that puts me at ease or worries me even further.

“You’re up early.”

I jump, spilling coffee over the white blouse I spent hours selecting. It stains the front of my top, making it stick to my chest, and I stare at it in dismay.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, Ari,” Gray says, his tone panicked. He grabs a kitchen towel and dabs it on my shirt, the back of his fingers grazing over my breast. I can feel my cheeks heat and my embarrassment only increases when Gray suddenly pauses, his eyes widening.

He pulls his hand away abruptly and clears his throat, looking away. “I… um, I don’t think that’s going to come out,” he tells me, running a hand through his hair, his eyes on the wall behind me.

“I… I’ll go change. Give me a minute,” I manage to stammer, before rushing off, flustered.

I lean back against my bedroom door the second I close it behind me, my heart racing.

Gray… he treats me like a child. I understand he sees me as family, but I’m still a woman. The way he touched me just now, his fingers against my breasts…

My eyes drop to the mirror in my bedroom, and I stare at myself. The coffee stain looks ridiculous, and I don’t know what I was thinking picking this outfit. I shouldn’t be wearing a skirt this tight. It only highlights how thick my thighs are, but I don’t look much better in suit trousers.

My eyes roam over my reflection, and I hate what I’m seeing. My only redeeming asset is my long dark hair. Other than that, I’m too small and too fat. I understand why Gray doesn’t see me as a woman, and I shouldn’t even want him to.

I drag my eyes away and unbutton my blouse, letting it fall to the floor. I grab a plain loose-fitting black shirt and put it on, not bothering to look in the mirror again. This’ll do. I don’t know why I even bothered spending all that time selecting an outfit. It’s stupid.

My mood is ruined by the time I walk back into the kitchen. Gray smiles at me, and I try my hardest to smile back at him. I don’t want him to worry about me more than he already does. He tries to hide it, but his concern is obvious.

“Let’s go,” he tells me. “Or we’ll be late on your very first day. How are you feeling? Excited?”

I nod, lying to him. I should be excited… this job is all I’ve been thinking about for years. Yet now that I finally get to make that dream come true, all I want to do is crawl back into bed. I want to be covered in blankets and grab a good book, so I can lose myself in some fictional story, a story that’ll allow me to experience moments of happiness that elude me in my own life.

I follow Gray down to his garage, feeling more out of place by the second. He glances at me and smiles sheepishly as he leads me to a car I’ll probably never be able to afford in this lifetime.

“Be honored,” he tells me. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever allowed into this baby,” he says, holding the door to his bright red sports car open for me.

“Why is that?” I ask as I step into his car. “Did you only just buy it?”

He chuckles, a guilty expression on his face. “Last month.”

I shake my head as he closes the door. Gray walks around the car and my eyes follow him through the window. He’s wearing a suit today, and it makes him look… powerful. Powerful and incredibly sexy.

Gray sits down and turns toward me. He leans over to grab my seatbelt, and his scent washes over me. He smells like peppermint, just like he always has. To this day, I can’t have peppermint tea without thinking of Gray’s obsession with it.

“I can do it, Gray,” I tell him, as he clicks my seatbelt in. His eyes meet mine, and when he smiles at me, those dimples of his making an appearance, my heart flutters. I look away, startled by my own reaction. He’s so attentive, and part of me can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to be with him, to be loved by him. I bite down on my lip and look away, flustered.

“I’ll show you around when we get to the office. I’ll give you a whole tour.”

I look at him, panic gripping me, and shake my head as I turn in my seat. “No, Gray. You can’t. I know I didn’t really get this job because I earned it, but I was hoping no one would know. I really want a chance to prove myself.”

Gray glances at me briefly and nods. “I see. All right. I’ll drop you at the HR department instead, okay? They’ll get your employee pass made and show you around. You probably won’t do much on your first day. It’s mostly just paperwork, meeting your colleagues and getting up to date on our current project. Your manager will fill you in.”

I nod, the nerves truly kicking in now. He parks the car in what appears to be his designated spot and turns to look at me. “Aria,” he says, his expression tense. “I need you to promise me you’ll tell me if you’re struggling. Tell me if you need help. Hell, tell me if someone is being a dick to you. I promised Noah I’d look out for you, and I have every intention of keeping that promise.”

His sincerity startles me. I know Gray’s loyalty to Noah knows no bounds, but I’ve never had his intensity directed at .

“I promise,” I whisper, my heart racing.

Gray looks into my eyes, his gaze unwavering. He seems to have found what he’s looking for because he nods resolutely. “Very well,” he says. “Let’s go, shall we?”