Chapter 30: Until You: Chapter 30

My mind keeps replaying this morning’s scene. I woke up in Grayson’s arms, our legs tangled together, his erection pressing against my thigh. I swallow hard, unable to forget the feel of him. I should’ve known that he’d be big, considering how tall and wide he is… but I wasn’t expecting .

I was so startled that I didn’t dwell on my recurring nightmare the way I usually would’ve done. Normally it would’ve ruined my entire day, but today I’m distracted. Today the nightmare is in competition with thoughts of Gray. I’ve been trying to stay away from him, reminding myself who he is… but these little things he does make it impossible. It’s impossible to resist him.

The way he held me, never once questioning me. The way he whispered my name, telling me I’m safe in his arms. No one has ever been able to pull me out of that nightmare. Not until Gray.

It always goes the same way, a perfect replica of the day I lost my parents. I’m on my way home, excited to tell Mom that I aced my English test. When I get there, the front door is open. I walk in, and the house is eerily silent. My heart starts to race, a small part of me aware that something must be wrong. Just when I’ve gathered the courage to call for my parents, I see them. Both of them on the ground, a metallic smell filling the air. Dad’s arm is wrapped around Mom, but his eyes are on the ceiling. It takes me a while to register that he isn’t blinking.

I kneel beside Mom and her eyes find mine, her hands covering her stomach as redness pools onto the floor beside her.

“Aria,” Mom whispers.

“No,” I murmur, repeating it over and over again, panic and disbelief rendering me immobile. Even though I can’t make sense of what’s happening, I know I’m losing my mother. I start to cry, and Mom shakes her head.

“I love you,” she whispers, her eyes falling closed. I grab her hand and hold it tightly, my eyes roaming over the room. I spot the house phone and jump up, rushing to grab it. I press the buttons with shaking fingers, and just as I lift it to my ear, I see him.

Black clothes, bright blue eyes, and hands stained with blood. He freezes and I drop the phone, my every instinct telling me to run.

He takes a step toward me, and my cries turn into sobs. I take a step back, my back hitting the wall, and that’s where both my dreams and memories end. The last thing I remember before everything went black was him turning his back to me as he walked away, leaving my life in pieces.

“Aria?”

I look up to find Riley standing by my desk. His expression tells me he must’ve been standing here for a while now, and I immediately feel guilty.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, but he shakes his head.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, of course,” I say, my tone defensive. Riley smiles at me, but I see the worry in his eyes, and I hate that. I’ve worked so hard to leave my past behind me, yet every time I have one of these nightmares it feels like I’m still that little girl, helpless and alone.

“Would you like to join me for lunch?” he asks, glancing around uncomfortably. I pause, my eyes roaming over the empty office. I didn’t even realize everyone had left. How long has Riley been standing here?

“I… um.” I don’t know what to say. I feel like Riley has disliked me from the second we met, and it’s making me uncomfortable that he’s trying so hard to hide it just because he’s my manager. “Sure.”

He tips his head toward the door, and I grab my purse to follow him. The silence between us is awkward, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I’m surprised when he leads me out of the building and not to the company cafeteria.

“Where are we going?”

Riley smiles at me. “You’ll see.”

I hate surprises, but I have a feeling that telling him that would just result in more tension between us.

He leads me into what appears to be a huge garden, with a dozen picnic tables spread around. “Wow,” I whisper, following him to one of the tables. “This place is incredible.”

Riley grins in satisfaction as we sit down. “I’m sorry,” he says. “The way I acted on your first day of work was unacceptable. We’ve not really gotten along ever since, and it’s all my fault. Honestly, I’m surprised Gray let me get away with it at all. I guess he knew you’d be able to meet any challenge I could set, and you’ve really proven yourself over the last couple of months.”

He looks away, glancing at the menu instead. “You were right. You’re untraceable. I’ve been trying to track every single digital footprint of yours for weeks now, and I can only find the most mundane things. There’s not even any porn, and we all watch porn.”

I chuckle, caught by surprise. Riley grins, but there’s something more than humor in his eyes.

“Your record is too clean, Aria. The information about you is too carefully controlled, and that’s what gives you away.”

I grin. “Does it? You still know absolutely nothing about me.”

Riley smiles as he places his order and waits for me to place mine. He rests his elbows on the table the second the waitress walks away.

“No, but I’ll find out. I have a feeling you’re hiding more than tentacle porn, and I’ll find out what it is.”

I burst out laughing. “Tentacle porn?”

Riley nods, dead serious. “You seem the type. Quiet, beautiful, smart. You’re definitely watching some fucked up porn.”

My smile drops, and I look away. Not because of his porn comment, but because he called me beautiful. Is he trying to flatter me or is this one of those things you say when you feel bad? I don’t get it, but it reminds me of Brad. This is how it all started with him. He’d take me out for lunch, and he’d say stuff that made me think he was flirting with me, when all along he just wanted to use me.

I look into Riley’s eyes, distrust making me sit up straight. “Tell me honestly, Riley… what is it you want from me?” I ask, unable to help myself. I can’t go down this road again. I can’t let myself believe someone is being friendly when they have ulterior motives. I can’t figure out what he wants, but it’s something.

Riley looks startled and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Aria. It was just a joke, the porn thing.”

I look into his eyes, trying to assess his sincerity, knowing that I’m not capable of doing that. Brad lied straight to my face for months, and I never realized it.

“So why did you ask me out for lunch? It just… it seems strange to me.”

Riley frowns. “Why is it strange? I genuinely wanted to get to know you better. You’re intriguing, Aria. I’ve never met anyone that continues to show me up the way you do. You’re brilliant, and I’m just a little curious about you, I guess?”

I hate that I distrust him without good reason. He’s done nothing to warrant it, yet I can’t shake the feeling that he wants something from me. I don’t want to be this person. I don’t want to second guess everyone and everything around me, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but think that in part, I was to blame for the way I was deceived. This time, I have to ensure I keep my eyes wide open.