I pause in front of Grayâs bedroom, wanting to knock, yet wanting to give him space at the same time. He took me out for lunch after church, but I could tell his mind was elsewhere. He looked so somber, and nothing I did or said cheered him up.
The thought of him doing this every single week kills me. Heâs been alone here for years, and I donât even think Noah knows what Gray is going through. Iâve been here for months, and all this time I didnât know.
Iâve just about convinced myself to knock when my phone buzzes. I grab it, partially relieved to have an excuse not to go into Grayâs room. I donât know what to say to him, and I hate seeing him hurting. Even worse, I know that even if I go in, thereâs nothing I can do.
I unlock my phone, frowning when I see a notification for the Nemesis App.
:
I tense, my thoughts whirling. Ash has always been flirty and lighthearted. When it comes to cases, heâs serious and hardworking, but heâs never once asked for a personal favor, nor has he ever taken credit for the incredible work heâs done.
:
:
I freeze, my eyes widening. My hands tremble as I type my reply, and I almost drop my phone.
:
:
I swallow hard, my heart beating out of my chest as I sink to the floor, my back against Grayâs bedroom door.
Ash.
Ash, the guy Iâve been talking to for years now, the one that continuously teases me and flirts with meâ¦
Could it be?
I donât dare follow my thoughts in the direction theyâre going. I canât. Ash has been flirting with me for months now. The things heâs said⦠telling me Iâve made him hard on numerous occasions? I must be misunderstanding something and drawing false conclusions.
I try my hardest to pull myself together. I need to reply. Ash has never asked anything of me, and I canât deny his request now. Especially not when itâs one thatâs so sincere. Besides, I might be wrong. I hope I am.
:
:
My eyes fill with tears and I try my best to blink them back. I drop my head to my knees and inhale shakily. My heart is breaking right alongside his, and I donât know what to do. I donât know what to say.
I donât have the patience to wait for the files. Instead, I force myself to get up and into my room, moving almost entirely on autopilot. I turn my laptop on and log onto my platform, feeling sick.
I shouldâve done this weeks ago. Months ago, even. I keep all data on my platform encrypted and I donât have access to usersâ private data myself, but it isnât hard for me to unravel Ashâs details.
My stomach twists violently as more and more information unveils itself, and I burst into tears when I confirm what I already know.
I canât even explain why it saddens me so much, but it does. It feels like Ash instantly became just as out of reach as Gray is.
I need to tell him, and I know that once I do, heâll stop treating me the way he does. He might even pull away altogether out of embarrassment and horror.
I sniff and try my hardest to pull myself together. Iâm being ridiculous and selfish. Gray asked for my help, yet here I am, thinking about myself.
I open up his files when they come in, reading through everything carefully, forcing myself to focus on nothing but the information in front of me. My hands are shaking as I reach out to the few connections that I know can help with this. All we need is a small lead, which we might be able to find if we search databases using the data Gray already has as filters. If nothing else, itâll give us a list we can further refine.
I close my laptop the second Iâve sent out all my requests, as though that makes anything even remotely better. It doesnât undo what I just found out, and it wonât prevent whatâs coming.
I need to tell Gray. I canât mislead him.
Iâm trembling as I walk back to his room, my heart beating in my throat. Iâm scared of his response. Iâm scared whatever is left of my heart will be torn to shreds.
I pause in front of his door. Just thirty minutes ago I was standing here because I wanted to make him feel better, because itâs what my heart begged me to do. Now Iâm standing here, knowing things will never be the same again.
I knock on his door, my heart heavy. When he calls for me to come in, dread overcomes me. I walk into his room, stopping in my tracks when I realize heâs in bed, his bedroom pitch dark.
âAri,â he says, his voice filled with an ache I didnât think him capable of. Grayson is the strongest person I know. Heâs without a doubt the most powerful man I know.
I walk up to his bed, pausing right next to him. He sits up, the sheets falling to his waist, exposing his bare chest. He reaches for me, and I stumble, falling into his arms. Before I even realize what heâs doing, heâs got me on my back in his bed, his body on top of mine.
He hides his face against my neck, his weight pressing onto me. âJust a couple of moments, Ari. Please,â he whispers, and a delicious thrill runs down my spine.
I wrap my arms around him and let my eyes fall closed. âIn the last couple of months youâve been my solace, Gray. Now let me be yours.â
He presses a lingering kiss against my neck, and I exhale shakily. âYou are, babe,â he whispers. âYou are.â