Chapter 26: Ch 26 - Blood Soda Moonshine

Marke spent the night in another broken down ride. He was kept awake for a few hours because his name tag was slightly glowing. He felt like he was wearing a lighthouse on his chest, though it was more like an old tired Christmas tree light shining through a curtain. He eventually fell asleep. In the morning, he was awoken by a hard shaking him. Marke opened his eyes to see a kangaroo person, dressed in fair worker clothing, looming above him.

“Wake up, Bucko! I’ve been looking for you all night. I’m supposed to take you to one of the management tents!” The kangaroo person pointed a thumb over their shoulder and hopped down to the ground. Marke sat up a little blearily and saw that the morning was nearly halfway over. The kangaroo person clapped their hands to get his attention again. “Come on!”

Marke decided he didn’t want to run so soon after waking up, so he climbed down and followed the kangaroo person. “Why are you taking me to the management tents?” Marke asked.

“Don’t know! Have you been cooking up blood soda moonshine or stealing parts from rides?” They asked.

“No.” Marke said. “Blood soda moonshine?” He asked.

The kangaroo person laughed. “Don’t even think about it, bucko! The taste is way worse after you ferment it.” Marke felt like his face turned green at the thought of something worse than blood soda.

The kangaroo worker didn’t seem to be in any hurry, so Marke indulged his curiosity. “What’s it like working for the fair?” He asked.

The kangaroo worker shrugged. “Beats running from a glowing lioness every night. Those snatchers are creepy! You can apply to work for the fair at level 5 or by special invitation. You don’t make a lot, but you get room, board, and basic protections. I applied after a few close calls and now I’m a run-and-fetch worker.” The kangaroo glanced around, failing to be subtle about it. They leaned down and spoke in a low voice. “The pay is nearly as terrible as the managers, but some of us have figured out how to make a little extra on the side. If you join the fair and can keep a secret, start asking people about ‘the Elk’ to request an evaluation.” The kangaroo person straightened back up and began whistling while looking around nervously.

“Oh, uh, thanks for the tip.” Marke said. He decided to move on to his next question. “How big is the fair?” He asked.

Marke chatted with the kangaroo for half an hour before they arrived at a management tent. It turned out that the fair consisted of the whole surface of the realm. The kangaroo had heard rumors of large hunting reserves and maybe some secret underground management things, but nothing certain. No one was born here–they had all been brought from other realms with connections to the demons or the angels. As far as the kangaroo knew, there wasn’t a way to leave other than dying enough times to lose all your clothes. Marke felt rather exposed with his missing shirt and missing shoes after that discussion.

The management tent was horrible to look at. It was shaped like a small circus tent but the outside was covered in thousands of thin lines of all sorts of colors. The colors shifted as Marke walked towards it, which made him feel nauseous again. The kangaroo waved him inside but did not follow. The interior was dim and oddly smoky, like a dying fire. Marke could make out a desk a few steps in.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

“Step right up!” A froggy voice spoke out of the smoky darkness. Marke stepped up to see a frog person sitting on a very wide bench behind the desk. Marke felt the tingle of getting his level checked before the frog person spoke again. “Hmm! Your name is dumb, bucko! Level 3, almost no experience. No stat customization…” The frog person trailed off, muttering to themself. Marke glanced down at his name tag. Could the frog see his whole character sheet?

After a few moments of inaudible muttering, Marke spoke up. “Why am I here?” He asked.

The frog person croaked loudly. “Don’t interrupt! You’re on the ‘suspicious’ list, bucko, so you’re gonna get dragged in here on every level up for an audit.”

“What?” Marke exclaimed. “Until when?”

“FOREVER!” The frog person bellowed. The walls of the tent shook from the sheer volume of air the frog used in the word, and Marke took a step back. The frog person croaked again and blinked their froggy eyes. The muttering resumed. Marke decided to wait it out. The frog muttered for a whole minute before leaning forward and slamming a stamp into Marke’s name tag.

“Ow!” Marke said. “What was that.” He looked down at his name tag but didn’t see any difference.

“You passed the audit and you are free to leave.” The frog person said.

“What happens if I ever fail the audit?” Marke asked.

The frog person slowly shook their head. “I don’t want to find out, and neither do you. Go away.” The frog person croaked again and placed a smoking pipe in the side of their mouth. Marke left the tent.

“What? How? What?” Kente asked. “What? How could they even know if your level is legitimate? How did the kangaroo find us?” He continued.

Marke shrugged. “Do you think they can detect level ups for your name tag? If we switched name tags, would I pass the audit?” He asked.

Kente was silent for a minute before he spoke again. “Priority check!” He said. “Priority One: Get to level 5, get more tickets, continue to keep eyes open for magical body for Kente. Priority Two: I’m going to guess–do not fail audit. Priority Three: We still need to find places to do tai chi. Priority Four: we need to focus on winning balls or bean bags as prizes so we can juggle. Also, we could get rope to make baskets.”

“Priority Five: get to level 5 and keep our eyes open. It took a whole day going on rides to get one hundred experience, so it would take us three days to get the next level.” Marke said. “Apparently it’s not a good idea to have unused experience at night…” Marke sighed. “Ok, back up. This realm is too complicated, and most of it isn’t even relevant to the System that we’re supposed to be testing. Maybe we can try to focus on System things.”

“What System things do we know about?” Kente asked.

“Name tags are character sheets. Stealing name tags is similar to killing someone for experience. Taking rides grants experience. Experience can buy levels and… extra lives and perks.” Marke replied. “Anything else?”

“Hmmm, that seems right. The audit frog said something about ‘stat customization’ so that is potentially a thing. With all that classified as ‘System’, the rest of this realm is ‘non-System’. Tickets, food, drink, selling memories.” Kente said. The two of them considered this new mental model of the realm for a minute. “Is that everything?” Kente asked. “On paper, it seems so much simpler then it feels.” He said.

“Yeah, that’s everything we know about. There is a level restriction on buying food and drink, but that seems to not be a ‘System’ thing.” Marke said. “I think we need to take rides and just risk having experience laying around. Level 5 is an attainable goal that works towards Priority One. With that out of the way, we can focus more on the rest.”

“Agreed.” Kente said.