Chapter 37: Chapter Thirty-Seven

just wanted to dedicate this to @portkey for the lovely cover and all u patient lovely people x

Chapter Thirty-Six

“What time is it?”

I roll around, reaching for my phone or clock or something. My head is pounding and my feet feel like I’ve walked on hot lava for ten hours straight. Heels are so stupid but oh-so-glamorous. Not to mention every part of my body seems to be aching. It doesn’t seem right. I didn’t even dance that hard at prom.

My hand connects to a face. Lee’s face.

I snap my head up from the pillow.

Oh.

Now that my face isn’t squashed into the inner depths of a pillow, I can see more clearly now (the rain is gone, ha ha). The sunlight is gentle through my white blinds and it falls just in the right away on Lee’s face. His mouth is open, his eyes closed, his limbs tangled with mine. His bare arm is around my neck and his head in my mess of hair. And naked. Let’s not forget that.

The window is open and a soft breeze dances its way through my room, sending pieces of Lee’s hair flying and sending goosebumps up my bare thigh.

How in the world did I go from small-town-liar to in-bed-with-this-guy?

I tilt my head up over his arm to see my room and it’s a chaotic mess. His clothes are strewn along the floor, his coat hanging on the door handle. I don’t even see my clothes and they’re definitely not on my body. My desk is bare, all things that were on top of it now on the ground. Posters are ripped. All blankets but one are on the bed.

Jesus freaking Christ. I look over everything and retrace my steps with my memory. Only, my face reaches a trillion degrees as I remember. I chew the insides of my cheek to keep from screaming of what happened.

“We should talk first, oh my god, what are we doing?” I had said, pinning him to the back of the front door once we were inside. I kissed him aggressively on the lips.

He pulled away and grinned. “Doesn’t sound like you want to talk.”

“We,” I kissed him and took a breath before kissing again, “we should.”

And then somehow we were on the stairs. “If you want to talk before we do anything, we can.” He held my face between his hands like I was the last life source on earth. His eyes moved rapidly from my eyes to my lips, searching for an answer.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” I admitted. He licked his lips and started backing up away from me. I grabbed him by the collar. “Or we could talk after.” Lips on lips again.

“Ivory,” he mumbled, trying to pull away. He took a breath, his cheeks red from all this activity. “We don’t have to, really. If you want to talk, we can do it later. We have all the time in the world. I could take you somewhere nice and make it all special and we could—”

I kissed him softly, so soft that it barely felt like I was kissing him. “How did that feel? How does it feel when I kiss you?”

He tried taking a breath. “G-Great. Amazing. Alive. Like I’m on fire.”

“Good.” I tugged the hem of his coat and pulled him closer. “When you kiss me, it makes me feel special. And all I need is that feeling. I don’t need a special place. You are my special place.”

That did it because after that, Lee wasn’t holding back. Hands under my shirt, on my skin. His lips on the landscape of my body, lighting a trail of cold fire after. Ironically, when he kissed me it felt like fire but it was a chilling kind of burn. I got goosebumps every time he said, whispered, shouted my name. I don’t remember the specifics but I remember falling and tripping over things and kissing and his hands. And it was fucking spectacular.

Lee stirs next to me. His fingers skim down from my shoulder to my waist and he pulls me closer to him under the one too-thin blanket. “So bright,” he mumbles.

I peek at him. “Yep, it’s pretty bright. It’s called the sun.”

His left eye pops open. “You and that mouth of yours. Even at five in the morning.”

“What’re you going to do about it?”

Lee closes his eye and a grin infects his face, slow and lazy. He pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head. “That’s what I’m gonna do about it.”

I nuzzle my nose into his chest. “How boring.”

“Boring?”

“Yeah, no good morning passionate kiss, nothing. Next thing I know, you’ll be knitting me a sweater,” I say. I drag a finger and trace where his heart is. Being so physically close to someone is a new concept to me. It’s very…fascinating.

“Ivory,” he says and the tone scares me. It sounds like he’s going to get a bucket of ice cold water and splash it on me before running away and laughing. He shoots up and then he’s on all four on top of me. “How dare you say—even think—of the word ‘boring’ after last night?” His smirky grin makes me want to shoot myself.

I gulp but nonchalantly shrug. “Wasn’t that good really.”

“Forget good. I’ll show you great, baby.”

The sun shines strongly, noon probably, after we finish. I still have no clue around what time it might be but being in a cocoon of Lee’s arms makes me want to forget everything I need to worry about. Another breeze shifts around my room and I bring my legs up and scoot closer to Lee even though I’m too close already.

“We should probably get up,” I say to his chest. The only bad part of snuggling with Lee is that he’s too tall and all I see is his chest. I mean, his chest is fine—really fine—but I wish I could see his face. But then he would barely get to talk because I’d be attacking it.

“Probably.” He rests his cheek on my forehead.

“We’re missing the best part of a Saturday!” Every time I talk, my lips brush his chest. It’s all very torturesome.

“And how is the best part not both of us lying here together with our bodies as one and our veins full of love and life and laughter with—”

“Okay, Shakespeare, we’ll stay here a minute longer.” I kiss his chest.

“Thank you, Juliet.” I can almost feel him grinning. “So what is it?”

“What is what?”

“Your favorite part of a Saturday.”

“Oh, that,” I say. I bring my arm around his torso and snuggle closer. I don’t know why I keep trying to get closer to him. We are already intimate as possible, both mentally and physically. “Waking up late, watching morning cartoons—they have re-runs on Saturdays—eating an unhealthy breakfast, and then doing nothing for the rest of the day.”

“We’re doing nothing right now.”

“I thought you said we were being one with the wind and our bodies were vines wrapped around each other and—”

“Okay, I get it, I get it. No more poetry.” He moves up and around so he’s sitting up, his bare back to the wall near our heads. Lee grabs my hand and pulls me between his knees. The blanket slips off of my body and it’s suddenly colder than I had expected. I mean it was summer now basically and yet I felt my spine tingle with a chill.

I bring the blanket back up to my shoulder but Lee stops me, sliding the blanket back down. “No, wait.” He slips the blanket slowly down my arm as I get more and more exposed. His eyes never leave my body. “Wow,” he breathes, his eyes lighting up like a kid on Christmas.

Taking it from his grip, I pull the blanket back up. “That’s enough, perv.”

He tries pulling it back down. “Nooo, wait.”

“You had your time.”

“But—but, you’re beautiful and you shouldn’t hide your inner beauty—”

“Save it, Shakespeare. I love my body but I am not going to let you just stare at me for fifteen minutes straight. I feel like something in an exhibit,” I say, throwing the blanket back around me. “Human rights!”

His eyes travel back up to my eyes and then my lips. Back to my eyes. He breaks out a big grin. “God, you are so—”

“Amazing? Sweet? Good in bed? A badass bitch? I know.” I pretend to fluff my hair.

Lee’s grin gets wider and then he jumps and lunges at me. Literally. I fall back and we land on the other end of the bed together. His arms cage around me and he’s on his knees between my legs. “You’re so cocky.” Lee starts kissing my lips and then my nose and then my cheeks and all over my face. “And perfect. So perfect.” His teeth graze my neck. “Confidence is so sexy.”

I try not to explode into a million pieces. Words, they’re just words. Calming myself down is harder than usual. Well, Lee Richardson is naked and kissing me. Anyone would be hyperventilating on the inside.

He brings his head up from my neck and grins big at me. “Can we go for another round, please?” Golden-retriever-slash-homeless-cat Lee Richardson is asking me for another round. I might as well jump out the window. This boy has the stamina of a damn horse!

“No!” I almost shout. “Too much in one morning—hell, too much for twenty four hours, too much for a whole damn week!”

His face deflates and his lower lip juts out. “Fine.” He gets on his back next to me and then we both rest flat on the bed and look at the ceiling. Both our breathing goes from erratic to calm until we both sound like we have enough oxygen to last. “Guess what?” he asks.

“What?” I was in the middle of counting the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. I remember being insanely obsessed with astronomy at one point in my life. I had even begged—well, more like threw a tantrum—to get my room all set up like a solar system, including bedsheets with astronauts on them.

“I love you.” I feel his hand slip into mine and squeeze. My stomach stills but then I remember to breathe and I let it resume its stomach activity.

We both keep our heads up, staring the ceiling but I squeeze his hand back and reply, “I love you, too.”

“This is nice.”

“It is.”

“Are you sure we can’t have another round?”

I roll my eyes. I get up and climb over so I’m sitting on him. His eyes widen and he tries to use his elbows to get up. I push his chest down. “Stay down, doggie,” I say. “I swear you’re too enthusiastic after all this.”

Another grin lights his glowing face. If he could be a dog, he’d basically be wagging his tail back and forth and slobbering all over the bed. “Hey, didn’t you say something about human rights? It’s my right!”

“Of course, it is,” I say. I lean down and kiss the spot over his heart. “Speaking of favorite things, this might be my favorite place. It’s very cliche but it is.”

I thought his grin couldn’t get any wider but it does. It’s like standing in front of the sun. On a Monday morning. Too bright and chirpy. “You have a favorite spot on my body?” He licks his lips. “I have a favorite spot on yours. Can I show you?” He starts moving to get up again.

“Woah there, horsy,” I say, pushing him back down. “Why don’t you just sit still for a while?”

He pouts, crossing his arms, but he rests on his back again. “Fine.”

I smile and then use my index finger to trail from his heart to his stomach. Lee shakes a little and it makes me want to flash a blinding-sun-grin too. “Still,” I command.

“Impossible at the moment,” he replies, his voice soft. His eyes stare intently at mine and it’s all very nerve wracking so I look away. You know, those stares that just seem to be looking at every piece and secret inside of you. I don’t think anyone can keep themselves normal under that stare.

“Actually,” I say, “I take back what I said earlier. I think my favorite stop on your highway of a body is here.” I tap the space above his hip bone before circling my finger.

He sucks in air through his teeth. “Oh.”

“It has your father’s name on it,” I explain. It’s true. Just above his right leg, on the lower part of his stomach in the most beautiful cursive is the name John, Lee’s father’s name. The fact that he has a tattoo of his father’s name where nobody can see it, hidden away under layers of what people see of him, makes me want to kiss him all over. So I do. I get up and adjust before softly pressing my lips to the tattoo.

“HOLY—” Lee is saying, shooting up and already stretching his fingers and hands to touch me. But I’m fast.

I jump off the bed and race out of the room. “Time to get up!”

He groans and I hear him rest his head back on the bed in defeat. “You cheater!” he yells and I hear him from the bathroom.

For breakfast, (unfortunately) I get plain old cornflake cereal and Lee and I sit together on the couch, watching The Carrie Diaries. Lee has one arm on the back of the couch and the other holding a spoon, frequently getting a spoonful of cereal from my bowl. He said he wasn’t hungry and yet here he is, taking my breakfast.

I wince as I pull my tangled hair in a bun. “Austin Butler is so gorgeous.”

He grabs another scoop of cereal and mumbles, “Who?”

I rip the spoon away from him and chomp on some cereal. I point the spoon to the screen where Austin Butler, who plays Sebastian, is talking. “Him.”

Lee makes a face. “I don’t know. I think I can beat him in the looks department.”

“Yeah, right,” I scoff. “Austin Butler is like…Jesus.”

He frowns. “I thought I was Jesus!”

“I thought you said you were Lee.”

“Well, I can be both!”

I grin, taking another bite of cereal. Is he really arguing he’s Jesus at the moment? I snuggle closer and we continue to watch television. Doing something so simple with him is nice since most of the time our lives are chaotic and all over the place. Just eating breakfast in silence is great.

But something is itching at me. It’s almost too quiet and peaceful. I sigh, knowing I’ll have to tell him about Penny soon. I just don’t know what to say or do anymore. Maybe it can wait until after graduation. Yeah, it’s not like she’s going to get un-pregnant by then. And maybe I’ll get more time with Lee before he has to leave me and go do what Lee Richardson has to do. He has to be responsible and live up to the expectations as the head of his company and he certainly can’t abandon his rumoured-to-be-fiance’s baby. It would ruin him and his name and I would never want that. Even if it means time apart. A life apart.

“Hey,” Lee says softly, kissing my shoulder. I had slipped on his shirt, because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you sleep with someone, but somehow it intensifies his innocent kiss. “What’re you thinking about?”

I look at my shoulder, where he has rested his chin. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been staring at that cereal bowl for a good five minutes now and you haven’t even tried fighting me off as I eat almost all of it,” he explains. He reaches for the bowl and sets it aside on the table before coming back and resting on my shoulder. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, why?” My voice is getting quiet.

“You’re crying.”

“Huh?”

Lee gently places his right hand on my face and wipes away apparently a tear and then takes my face in both his hands. “You okay?”

I nod, wiping away at my eyes. “It’s just…Austin Butler is so hot.”

A grin appears on his face and he laughs. He puts a hand to my back and pulls me closer to him. I curl up against him and rest my head on his shoulder now. He says, “I don’t know why you’re really crying but I’m sure even if I tried helping, I’d make it worse. Being sad sucks. I’ll just hold you, is that okay?”

“Yes.”

When graduation rolls around, it's loud and amazing. Our gowns are blue so the entire football field looks like a sea of people—literally. Parents snap pictures and cheer from the stands when their child is called up. Whenever I hear or see them, it feels like someone is wrapping a hand around my heart and giving it a squeeze. Mom still hasn’t woken up. She’s missed prom and now graduation. I grip the edge of my chair to keep from crying or looking like this isn’t one of the most memorable days of my life. But it’s okay. This is my graduation and Brent and Lee are here in the stands. At least I have them.

“Miss Ivory Flores!”

I get up and climb up the stairs to the platform they’ve built on the field. Principal Appleton and a bunch of teachers are on the stage. She’s holding a diploma for me already.

“Congratulations,” she says to me and gives me a firm shake of the hand. Her voice drops to a whisper, “Your mother will be fine, Ivory. Do not worry.”

I nod and smile. It’s all I can do. And then I’m off the stage and someone else is on it.

Afterwards, Candy and I meet up and she hugs me tightly. She’s jumping up and down and I join her because Candy’s very influential like that. “We’re done!” she exclaims.

“Yes!” I say, jumping and hugging along with her and our diplomas in our hands.

“Now we’re officially college students!” She pulls away. “Oh my god, there’s Brent!”

I turn around and see my brother. He’s in the most formal outfit he can probably pull off—dark jeans and a button up shirt. It’s not that great but I guess Candy doesn’t care because she runs into his arms. He picks her up and twirls her around as he laughs. Now it’s starting to get gross. My brother being affectionate is weird.

I look away before they start making out. That’s when I see Peter running up to me. It’s hilarious because his gown is flying all over the place and his cap is slipping from his head. “Ivory!” he says.

“Hi,” I say once he’s close.

“Congratulations!”

I grin, shaking my diploma. “Thanks! You too.”

Peter stands and plays with his fingers. His eyes travel to my face before looking away and he starts blinking rapidly. He seems still nervous around me but I've already forgiven him. He needs to start accepting that and moving on. “Uh, me and some friends are going to go get some lunch in a few, you wanna come?”

“Oh, really? I think I—”

A hand slips onto the curve of my waist and cologne and peppermint fill my senses. Lee stands next to me in a gray suit and blue tie. Always in a suit.

“Lee, hey,” I say, looking up at him. He has shaved and his hair is gelled up. I can see the outline of a peppermint candy in his cheek and he’s moving it back and forth from cheek to cheek. He looks pissed. I should tell him Peter and I are cool now.

He looks down at me and his face breaks into a grin unlike his previous expression. “Hi, love. Congratulations!” Lee kisses me on the top of the head and pulls me closer.

“Thank you.”

“And this is…Patrick?” He even throws in a fake confused look.

“Peter,” I correct. Well played, Lee, well played.

Lee flashes a smile at Peter and stretches out his right hand. To any other person, it’ll look like a genuine smile but I know that’s the smile he gives to reporters and people he doesn’t like. His eyes are definitely not smiling, if that makes any sense.

“Oh, um, hey,” Peter says, taken back a little but still shakes Lee’s hand. He looks between us and then turns to me. “Tell me if you want to go, okay? Or just meet me there.”

“Yeah, okay,” I reply, nodding. I extend my hand as well. “It’s been a good run with ya, Peter.”

He’s hesitant at first, looking at Lee and then at my hand but Peter places his hand into mine and surprises me last minute by pulling me into a hug. In a lowered voice so only I can hear, he whispers, “I’m really glad we’re at a good place now, Ivory. I think you and your boyfriend deserve true happiness. Would’ve regretted saying bye on such bad terms.”

I pat his back but feel Lee’s glare through my skin. “Yeah, where you headed for college?”

“Boston College. Visit me sometime, yeah?” He lets me go and smiles at me.

“Of course.”

Peter grins at me one last time and then he walks away. As I watch his gown fly behind him as he walks, I realize that Peter is—was my first love. I mean, it didn’t work out but I don’t regret it. I watch his back and the little hop in his step. At one point, I wanted to be his everything and he wanted to be mine. Life got in the way but I can’t say I won’t miss him and the whole concept of high school crushes. Goodbye, Peter.

Lee slips his hand into mine and we walk in the opposite direction. He looks at me and I can tell he’s trying not to pry but he has questions. “I thought we hated him?”

We. I like hearing that. “Uh, yeah, but Peter and I made up at prom.”

“Oh, on the night that we—”

I jump and clamp a hand on his mouth. My brother is in the same hundred mile radius and I don’t even want to risk it. “Yes, that night.” Lee bites my hand and I let go, my mouth wide. “Vicious.”

He grins, taking my hand again and walking. “He still likes you, huh?”

“No, no, no, he’s very happy for me—for us,” I reply. Lee gives me a look. “Okay, so maybe he might have small, small, teeny-tiny feelings for me but I was just looking for an apology and I got it, so I’m happy with just that.”

“He better have apologized.” Lee squeezes my hand tighter.

I stop and look at him and his little wrinkles between his eyebrows. “Hey,” I say and he turns to me. I get on my tip-toes and kiss where his eyebrows have creased. “It’s fine now. He regrets everything he said and did on my birthday. Don’t get all angry bear on me.”

His face loosens and he takes a breath before opening his eyes and smiling at me. “Okay, if you’re happy and okay with him now, so am I.” He places both hands on my waist and pulls me to him. His eyes shine bright down at me and he leans in until our foreheads touch.  “So what did that little bast—bashful, young man Peter have to whisper in your pretty little ear?”

I narrow my eyes. “I thought we were okay with him.”

“I’m trying.”

“And just that we’re going to hang out later.”

“Later? Just you two?”

“Yes,” I say just to see his reaction and when his face falls, it gives me the satisfaction I’m searching for. Laughing, I explain, “Kidding. It’s a get together with a bunch of friends and I think I should go since I’m not going to go to the post graduation party.” I wrap my hands around his neck. “You wanna come?”

The crease between his eyebrows reappears and he’s obviously conflicted. “Not really my scene—”

“Is Lee Richardson too scared to go to a party? Is he too cool for one? Or maybe too uptight and awkward to even know how to party?” I tilt my head and smirk at him.

He raises an eyebrow. “Do you know how many parties I’ve thrown and gone to?”

“Well,” I lean in closer, “then you must certainly be capable of socialization with some high school graduates. Isn’t that right?”

“Right,” he replies, leaning in closer. “Do I get a reward for going?”

I purse my lips. “Of course.” I quickly peck him on the lips. “There.”

Lee pouts, his lips lining into a frown. “I was hoping for—”

“Shh,” I say, putting a finger to his lips. He kisses my finger. I give him a hard expression. “Don’t even think about it while my brother is in town. If he finds out, he’ll skin me alive.”

“Who’ll skin you alive?”

We both turn and there my brother stands, hands on hips, with a suspicious look on his face. I jump away from Lee and he straightens up. Candy shows up with smudged lipstick and puts her arm through Brent’s. “Hey,” she says cheerfully and a little breathless, looking between all of us, “what’s going on?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Brent replies. He scans Lee’s face and then mine. “What are you two idiots up to?” He steps closer to Lee and narrows his eyes at him. “What’re you planning, Lucas?”

“It’s actually Lee,” he responds to Brent, not even flinching.

“Lucas, Lee, whatever,” Brent says. His lips set in a firm line. “I can tell you two have been up to something…but I’ll let it go for now because my sister’s just graduated.” Brent turns his face to me and stares at me for a long time before grinning. “Congrats, baby sis!” He pulls me in a headlock and messes up my hair. “Growing up so fast.”

“Brent! You’re ruining my hair! I spent a whole hour on it!” I yell, my arms flying to try to catch him but he’s too slick. I had spent an hour achingly curling every strand.

“Yeah, babe, a girl’s hair is a work of art!” Candy agrees. Brent turns to her and his entire face changes and he lets go of me to hold her. Whatever happened to blood is thicker than anything? “So are you going to the hangout thing with Peter?” she asks me as Brent hugs her from behind.

“Yes, you?” I ask.

She nods. “Let’s go together, all four of us. Like a double date, hm?”

“Sounds cool! Let me just head back to mine to change,” I say. I look at Brent all blissfully holding Candy in his arms. “Uh, you can take him with you. I don’t want to catch your gross lovebug germs.”

Lee puts an arm around my waist and kisses my cheek. “Too late.” I turn and raise my eyebrows at the cheesiness and he winks back at me.

Brent narrows his eyes at Lee. “There it is again,” he says, stepping away from Candy. He walks back up to Lee and I and Lee takes his hands off of me and stands at a fair amount of distance. Brent takes a whiff of the air, as if he’s some police dog that can smell murder, and then squints his eyes right in front of Lee. “You.”

“Me,” Lee says, gulping.

“You…,” Brent repeats. His chest suddenly puffs up and his eyes widen, “You got Ivory pregnant, didn’t you!”

My eyes mimic the size of Jupiter and Lee stumbles a few steps back. Not because I’m pregnant—I’m not—but the fact that Brent has a hunch we did the hoo-ha. What the hell? Is it my face? Do I look different? Is there something plastered on my face that says that I slept with Lee Richardson? If that’s true, Brent will boil me alive. Scratch that. He’d boil both Lee and I alive.

“What! Of course not!” I scream at the same time Lee replies, “No! We used protection!”

Our heads snap to each other and I take his arm and squeeze it. “What the hell are you saying?” I whisper-shout. “He will fucking kill us.”

“Honesty is the best policy?” he whispers back before Brent explodes.

“WHAT!”

“Brent, listen, I can explain!”

“Don’t worry, Brent. You know I would never hurt her.”

“Brent, baby, calm down. You look like the hulk right now,” Candy chimes in, gently grabbing Brent’s upper arm.

Meanwhile, Brent is breathing very roughly, his chest moving up and down, up and down. His eyes are shut and his cheeks are getting red. Both his eyes snap open in a scary way and he screams, “I’m going to fucking end you, Luigi!”

And then he’s running and Lee and I are running with our hands connected and Candy behind us all. “My name is Lee, Mario!” Lee yells back just to add fuel to the flame before we both run as far as our legs can carry us until the dragon eats us alive with his bare teeth.

“Which top should I wear?” I ask. I hold up the shirt on my left. It’s red, tight, and a V-neck. Flirty and fun. Then I hold up the one in my right hand. Black, U-neck, but still tight. Careful but scandalous.

Lee is rested on his side on my bed, holding up his head with his right hand. If I had a camera, I would take pictures and submit them to Vogue. He purses his lips as he stares between my attire. “Neither.” He turns his gaze away and continues going through papers from school from when I was in kindergarten.

“Lee!” I say. He looks back up and does the head tilt thing. “Help me pick one.”

He sighs and sits up, gently moving away the mess of notebooks and coloring book from when I was six. He stands and I think, yes, he’s going to finally do something, but then he walks out of the room. I’m confused before he returns with a turtleneck, dark brown dress. “I think this would look lovely with your complexion.” He hangs it in front of me and nods.

I groan and roll my eyes. “Did you get that from my mother’s closet, you dork?” I push down his arm and the dress away from me. “It’s hideous and even my mother refuses to wear it.”

He pouts. “I think you’d look beautiful in it.”

“You’d also think I look nice dressed up as a potato or something,” I say. I walk back to my closet and put the clothes back in.

“I think you’d be more of a french fry because you’re hot,” he replies. When I look back, he’s grinning and laughing at his lame joke. “Get it? Because you’re hot, therefore, you’d get cooked and turned from a potato to french fries.”

I bite my lip to keep from smiling and also punching him in the stomach. “That was horrible.” I turn back around and rummage through my closet. “And potatoes get fried, idiot.”

His arms suddenly snake around my waist and his mouth presses against my ear. My breathing stops and I lick my dry lips. “I think we can work on that,” he whispers in this deep, lazy voice. Zero to hundred real quick, I think.

I gulp. My hands shake, trying to touch him, but then I remember that this can’t happen. I put my hands back down to my side because if I touch him, I won’t stop. “Don’t even try, Lee,” I warn. “You know my brother can just tell if something happens between us.”

His cold nose accidentally touches my neck as he kisses my collarbone but it sends a thrill through me. “Something did happen though, love. Would you like for me to show you again?”

“Yes. I mean—no, no!” I yank his hands off of me. “Quit messing with my head.”

He slips his arms around me again, this time so it’s over my chest and it cages my arms in. A gentle feather kiss is placed on the back of my neck. “I’m not,” he says sweetly.

“Bye,” I say and then I crouch down, escaping his arms. “Goodbye, I cannot handle you anymore. And unlike someone here, I need to get ready for brunch with friends because unlike someone again, I don’t look good all the dang time even if I’m wearing hobo clothes.” I run my hands through my clothes, searching for anything.

Lee crouches down next to me, grinning at my surrender. He picks something up and hands it to me, a winning grin still on his face. “How about this?”

It’s a teal dress and perfect for this situation. “Thanks,” I say, narrowing my eyes and grabbing the dress with force.

He pretends to bare his teeth and leans in, reaching to kiss my neck again. “Feisty.”

I press a finger to his lips and push him away. “No, not again. We have to get ready to go see people, not to mention, my brother included.”

Lee sighs against my finger. “Fine!” he says, pouting. He runs both hands through his copper hair and groans and stands. “All I wanted was a simple kiss but I can’t even ask for that anymore! I am held prisoner in my own pants!” He crosses his arms and marches away like an angry five year old.

I roll my eyes. “So dramatic,” I say before changing into the dress. It’s a nice color and it has no sleeves, perfect for this weather and event. I pull on some white flats to go along with the white waist belt on the dress. I only re-apply some mascara since I had already done my makeup for graduation before Lee and I leave.

I slip into the car and see that he’s changed into a button up, shortsleeve white shirt and dark jeans. There’s a pair of sunglasses hanging from his shirt and his hair is purposely tousled. A simple but classy watch is wrapped around his left wrist and he leans his arm outside the window.

He smirks as my eyes wander. “What? Surprised I can actually clean up for a casual outing?”

“Actually, I am,” I admit. I lean in and kiss him lightly. “Let’s go.”

Where the lunch seems to be is a nice little burger place a town away. It’s spacious on the inside with nice music and a bar to the side. When we get there, it’s packed with kids from school, all chattering and bumping cans of sodas and cheering. Drinks slosh around and sauces spill to the floor. It’s chaotic and I love it.

Lee turns to me as we walk further into the mess. He gives me a look. “This is what you enjoy doing in your spare time as a brand new college student?”

I grin and look up at him, twisting my hand into his. “Yes.”

He squeezes my hand and sighs. “Fine, then do this we shall.”

“Ivory!” Peter shouts from afar.

“Or we can just leave and go make out in your car,” Lee says, groaning at the sight of Peter. He pulls my hand and begins to turn us around as if Peter won’t notice us just leaving.

I grab Lee’s hand and pull him back around. “Stop acting like a loser! I thought you said you were going to party and prove me wrong.” He pouts and it seems to be his new favorite look. Peter appears, ginger ale in hand and the smell of summer and chlorine radiating off his body. I smile and say, “Hey Peter. You look like you’re having fun.”

He grins and crinkles appear by his eyes. “Yeah! Oh my god, you missed it. We had this truth or dare game and a bunch of us got dared to go jump in the public pool down the street. It wasn’t that bad actually, fun really. Did you bring your bikini?”

Lee’s hand gets tense in mine and he narrows his eyes down at Peter, who is of course oblivious to him. “Bikini?” he mouths to me like he wants to punch Peter.

I laugh nervously and look away from Lee. “No, that’s too bad. But I’m sure I’d love to join the game.” I glance around at the loud groups of people. “Has Candy gotten here yet? Or my brother?”

Peter’s eyes widen. “My man Brent is back in town?” He whoops, taking a swig of his ginger ale. He has kept his promise. No alcohol. I smile.

“Yeah, he is,” I tell him. “He should be here soon.”

“That’s awesome!” Peter exclaims. “Haven’t seen him in forever. It’s been a while since we played ball or something. He’s taught me everything I know.”

I recall the orange summer evenings where the sun would dip low and I’d have to trudge all the way to the local park to pick up Brent, who probably would’ve continued religiously playing basketball with his group of hoodrats if I didn’t call him in for dinner. Often times, Peter would be there. It was kind of how my feelings developed for him.

“Sure did,” I say, laughing. Lee frowns and I remember that accidentally leaving him out is something I do not want to do. “Lee, do you want a drink?”

He shakes his head, his mouth a thin line. “Do you?”

“Kinda,” I say, scratching the back of my head. “But it’s okay—”

“I’ll go get one for you,” he interrupts. He steps back. “Please, continue your conversation with Peter. I don’t want to intrude.” And then he walks away. He’s hurt. I’m stupid. Who the heck encourages someone to come mingle but then completely ignores them when it happens? Oh, wait, me.

“Sorry about that,” I apologize to Peter. “I just…we haven’t been an official couple very long and we’re still kind of stabilizing everything. Ex-crushes are uncommon ground for both of us.”

“Ex-crushes, huh?” Peter laughs, feigning recovering from a stab to the heart.

I laugh along with him. “How’ve you been?”

His face simmers down to a soft smile. “Good. Good. I’ve stopped doing a lot of things since prom. I’m talking to Karen again.”

“Yeah?” I’m smiling.

“Yeah. Well, it’s more like me apologizing every second for being such an idiot and treating her like crap but yeah, she’s not completely ignoring me—so, progress, I guess,” he explains. But a grin lights up his face. “But I feel like we’re getting somewhere.”

“That’s wonderful!” I exclaim. “I’m so glad you’re giving it a go. You deserve happiness too, you old chump.”

A chuckle escapes him. “Thanks, Ivory.”

“And speaking of Karen, where is the lovely maiden?” I ask.

Peter opens his mouth but his eyes land on something behind me. “Speak of the devil,” he says. I turn around and see Karen walking into the store, the bell ringing as it welcomes her. Her hair’s gotten longer, touching her shoulders now and she’s wearing shorts and a plain green shirt. Peter looks back at me. “I should probably go pop by and say hello.”

I smirk. “I think you’re gonna do more than just hello, Peter.”

“Shut up,” he mumbles but a light pink dusts his cheeks. “See you, Flores.”

“See you, Jones,” I say as he scurries off. I accidentally make eye contact with Karen and she waves at me. I smile and wave back at her before hurrying along my way to find Lee, who’s been “getting my drink” for ten minutes now.

I finally find him outside on the patio of the burger place. There are tables with yellow umbrellas fanned out over them and people eating and talking as they enjoy the great weather. He’s standing in an empty corner and I’m about to go make fun of him but I realize he’s on the phone. And judging by his rigid posture, I’m guessing it’s not good.

“Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, do not worry, I’m coming.” His back is to me but I see him sighing as he slides his phone off. He turns around and jumps a little. “Ivory, hey.” There’s a crease between his eyebrows.

“Hey,” I say, grabbing his hand in mine. “Is everything okay?” I kiss his knuckles.

He frowns. “Actually, no,” he replies honestly. His face perks up suddenly and he turns back around, retrieving something from the ledge of the balcony. He turns around with a coke in his hand and he offers it to me. “Your drink.”

“Thank you,” I say, taking it but not opening it. “But what’s wrong?”

Lee looks down. “Would you be mad if I had to leave?”

“Well, if you had to, not really,” I answer, my own eyebrows creasing. What had happened? Was it work? His mother again?

“Really? Because I have to go.”

I open the can and it lets out a gentle hiss before I take a sip. “Is everything okay though?”

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, everything’s fine probably. I just got this frantic call from Penelope and she seemed really distraught saying there was something I needed to know. It’s probably something stupid but I don’t want to risk anything.” Lee leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll try to make it back to come pick you up.”

Eventually, he leaves but I can’t respond or move or do anything. I am frozen in place even after he drives away in his car. The can of coke is getting warmer and the ice that had been on its surface melts away in my hand. The water slips through and drips down to the ground, touching parts of my feet. But I do not move or breathe. Because this is it. It’s all over.

Penny is going to tell Lee everything.

I am still as a rock, letting the melted ice and Lee and my life slip away through my own fingers.

ok i hope u like my long arse update! i worked for a trillion hours and i can't even believe it's been three weeks since i last updated, i thought i was doing better keeping track of time but i guess not

time flies

and happy thanksgiving to everyone! i hope u all had the best day ever and spent it with people u cherish and even if u didn't, well, i'm here, and you're here, and we're all here and our fam of the #swalteam can hug and eat virtual turkey unless ur a vegetarian... then we can eat mashed potatoes yah yah ok sorry its like 2 and i am fat and full of food

update on my life: uh got lost at a college and ended up in the back of a cop car and i went to a school dance and got scandously $lutty and uh been reading the retribution of mara dyer I LOVE IT THIS MY FAV SERIES and reading a lot of harry fanfic omg sorry jesus for sinning and uh yeah that's it

and i'm relaxing from the hell called school so yay more updates

but i love u all and hope u have the best :-) spread the love xx

oh! and omg my aunt has this friend who majored in writing and she used to work for this local big news company and now she teaches at the university of CT and she's bff's with a new york times bestseller and she's rlly impressed by this story and my work and she gave me a business card and told me it's never too young to publish and WHAT DO U GUYS THINK???? would anyone even buy this story or use it to wipe ass when they run out of toilet paper BOTH ID BE HONORED