Chapter 23: Faking It with the Forward: Chapter 23

“You good?” Axel asks when I walk back onto the porch of the teal house. The car ride back was tense, no one speaking other than a few whispered words between the girls in the backseat. Back at the house, Twyler’s been closed up in Nadia’s room. I can’t bring myself to leave without checking on her one more time.

“Yeah,” I nod, still trying to get my temper under control. “Thanks for coming with. That could’ve been a huge shit show.”

“Could’ve?” He laughs darkly. “Fuck, I don’t know what those guys are thinking.”

It’s hard to rattle Axel. Nerves of steel are required when a slapshot is hurtling at your face a hundred miles an hour. I’d told Twyler I picked him because he was the most sober. Truth is, there’s no one I’d rather have by my side in a dicey situation.

“McMichael is benched for the year,” I say. “He’s fucking desperate, that’s what he’s thinking.” His shot at the NFL is dwindling the longer he’s off the field. “But Reynolds? He’s just an idiot.”

“Well, you know I’ve always got your back. On or off the ice.” He looks over my shoulder through the open door to the house. “So, you and TG, huh? For real?”

“Yeah.” I’m not afraid to admit it. “It’s for real.”

“Nice. She’s a cool chick. Cute and funny. I like her for you.” He grins. “I fully approved of your puck bunny phase, but it never suited you.”

“Please don’t say anything.” I run my hand through my hair. “Green can’t find out or she’ll lose her internship. She already got a warning.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” he says, then lowers his voice, “but Nadia needs to report this shit, because I don’t think that clown is going to stop any time soon.”

“Me either.” I exhale. I’d offered to stop at the hospital or the police station, but all she wanted was to come home. “But that’s her decision to make.”

We agree to meet up in the morning before practice and Axel heads out. When I go back inside, Twyler is closing Nadia’s bedroom door.

“How is she?” I cross the room and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her to me.

“Tired. Scared. I don’t know the full story, but it seems like this is something CJ has been pressuring her to do for a while. Tonight, she went over to just hang out with Brent and he was there. They ordered pizza and talked her into staying.” She grimaces. “It wasn’t until she stood up to leave that she realized she felt dizzy. She thinks they put something in her drink.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“I know.”

“Is she going to report it? Because we can back her up.” I tilt my head. “Axel, too.”

“I don’t know. I’ll talk to her about it in the morning.”

“Good.” I kiss her forehead, then slowly travel down to her nose, cheeks, until I finally capture her lips. “I know you’re tired. I’ll head out.”

Her fingers wind in the front of my shirt. “Stay.”

“You sure?”

She nods. “I want you here.”

She pushes up on her toes and curls her hand around my neck, pulling me down. I kiss her, feeling a rush of intensity. “Whatever you want,” I tell her, meaning it. If tonight proved anything, it’s that I’m all in with this girl.

Leading me into her room, she closes the door behind us. Silently, we undress; me kicking off my shoes and pants. Twyler peels off her clothes until she’s down to just her bra and panties. My cock jerks at the sight of her. I wrap my fist around the base and stroke to the tip.

She’s nervous. I see it in the tremble in her hand, and the tightening of her throat as she swallows. Exposing herself like this isn’t easy. I know that. But fuck, Axel’s got it wrong. She’s not cute. She’s fucking gorgeous.

Tired of staying away from her, I yank my shirt over my head and close the distance. Pressed together, I lift her hair and kiss the smooth skin on her shoulder. My cock drills into her belly, hard and relentless, but I will it to behave. I’ve wanted my mouth and hands on this girl all fucking day. My dick can wait.

Gently, I kiss under her ear, trailing my lips to her jaw. I look down at her; so small and sexy. I could lift her up and toss her on the bed, but that’s not what I want to do, not yet.

I tilt her chin, forcing those blue eyes to meet mine. “Trust me?”

She nods.

“Can I kiss your neck?”

She tenses infinitesimally, but nods.

“Say the words, Sunshine.”

“Yes, I trust you.”

My heart pounds, threatening to crack through my ribs, because I know how monumental this moment is. Lifting her hair, I start with the softest kiss, barely grazing the skin. I know this is hard for her—that she trusted another asshole with her body, and he violated her—but I want her to know I’d never hurt her. Never exploit. And I take my time, pressing tiny kisses from her ear to her neck.

“We good?” I ask, gently rubbing my thumb down the column of her throat.

“Yes.” She exhales and her head tilts, exposing a wide swath of skin.

I lick and suck, methodically, exploring every inch as her body melts into mine.

Meeting her mouth again, I say, “Thank you,” before licking her lips and kissing her hard.

Her hips grind against me, and I run my hands down the soft expanse of skin on her back. My thumb brushes over the clasp of her bra. The strip of lace and satin falls to the floor.

“I hate not being able to touch you all day,” I tell her, flattening my hands over her tits. Her nipples pebble and she looks up at me with that wide-eyed gaze that makes me feel lucky that she’s let me past the gates. “I see you during practice and want to push you up against the lockers and fuck you right there.” Taking a nipple in my mouth I suck until her nails claw into my shoulders and her breath catches in her throat. “I want to pull you into my lap on the bus and let you ride me all the way home.”

My hand drops to the edge of her panties, and I push my fingers beneath the fabric. I brush against her clit, rubbing her until her hips buck forward.

“But most of all…” I kiss down the flat expanse of her stomach, all the way to her thighs. I press my lips against the tattoo on her left thigh and then the right, skimming my thumb over the design. I feel the ridge of scarred flesh underneath, the reminders of her self-harm. “I want the whole goddamn world to know you’re mine.”

I bite her hip, dragging my teeth down to the edge of her panties. Hooking my fingers in the waistband, I yank them off, eyes trained on her pussy.

I want her to know that she belongs to me. That no man will ever touch her or hurt her again. I want to say these things, but that’s not who we are outside of this house. But inside? Now? I’m going to claim her as my own.

“You’re mine, Sunshine.” I lick her clit. “Tell me you understand that.”

“I do,” she says, voice caught in a shudder. My mouth is on her clit, sucking the hot nerves between my lips. Her knees tremble and her fingers twist in my hair, pulling my mouth against her pussy. She’s close, but I’m feeling selfish.

“Hold on, baby.” I give her pussy one last kiss and stand. “Please don’t come until I’m inside of you.”

Wrapping my arms around her, I lift her up and carry her to the bed. Laying her flat on her back, I stand over her for a long time, taking in every last inch of her. She’s perfect. Perfect hair. Perfect eyes. Perfect mouth. Don’t get me started on her tits and pussy because I could survive on nothing else for days.

“You’re teasing me,” she says, squirming under my gaze. “Come here.”

I don’t resist, climbing over her, sliding my arm under her back to lift her toward the headboard. Her hands flatten on my chest, exploring the hard muscle. I don’t feel solid, like I could melt under her touch. Like this girl liquifies me, turning me into something hot and volatile. Combustible.

The only thing that’ll make me feel whole again is being inside. Fumbling with the drawer in her bedside table, I grab a condom, and quickly roll it on.

Her thighs fall to the side, inviting me in, and I settle between her legs. With one hand by her head and the other stroking a long path from her chest to her belly, I push in with a groan.

Her pussy is still crazy, deliciously, tight.

“Fuck,” I breathe, jaw clenching to maintain control.

Who the fuck am I kidding? I lost control the first time I kissed this girl.

Her hips rise and her legs coil around my waist, allowing me to sink in deeper. I chase that feeling, wanting to be caught in a stranglehold. She meets me thrust for thrust, breath for breath, until my balls are full, aching with the need for release. I press my forehead to hers, crushing her to the mattress when she cries out against my mouth, the orgasm rushing over.

The quiver of her pussy around me is all it takes to send me falling after her.

Falling for her.

There is no fucking doubt in my mind, it’s as clear as the lamp light signaling a goal, or the post-coital bliss glowing off the girl beneath me.

I’m in love.

It’s not unusual to wake up in the Manor to the sound of two of my roommates fighting over the Xbox or the last frozen waffle. Once Reid and Jeff got in an actual physical altercation over who left wet clothes in the washing machine for three days, making the house reek of mildew. I jumped out of bed and scrambled downstairs, almost taking a hit from Reid’s fist as he went after Jefferson.

Spoiler alert: they were Axel’s clothes. He left them in there and then went to spend the long weekend at the Kappa sorority house.

And although I’m not particularly pleased my girl isn’t in the bed next to me, the sound of soft female voices in the living room is a hell of a better way to wake up in the morning.

I’d laid awake long after Twyler fell asleep, thinking about our relationship. It wasn’t just sex brain talking when I told her that I wanted her to be mine. This girl is everything I want. I can’t get enough of her. I want her in bed and out. I want to see her wearing my name and number on her back—in public. I want to hold her hand and kiss her whenever I want to.

Because I can’t keep going on pretending like this isn’t a thing.

I love her and it’s time we figure out how we’re going to move forward.

It’s not going to be easy, but I’m willing to talk to Coach Green about it–even Bryant. He made me captain for a reason–I’m levelheaded and show good leadership. I can juggle a girlfriend working with the team just as much as I can keep a bench full of knuckleheaded hockey players in line.

Sitting up, I search the room for my discarded clothing. I’ve just found my shirt in the corner, behind the desk, when I hear Twyler say my name in the other room.

“Reese said that if you want to file a report, he and Axel will both make a statement.”

“I’m not filing a report,” Nadia says.

“What? Why?”

I move closer, standing next to the bedroom door where I can hear better.

“Because I don’t want to.” There’s a pause. “Brent didn’t invite me over. He hasn’t asked me to come over in weeks, but every time CJ texted me, I hoped that Brent would be there and, you know, some kind of spark would happen.”

“Hoping to see one guy doesn’t mean you were agreeing to be filmed having sex with another.” Twyler’s voice is firm.

“I knew what CJ wanted,” Nadia says so quietly I have to strain to hear her. “He’d been begging me to make a video for LonelyCams for weeks. I told him no, but he was just really persistent. He wouldn’t let it go.”

“Last night you said you didn’t agree to it.”

“I didn’t.” She sniffs. “But I also didn’t walk out of there when I should have. It’s my fault. I went to the house. I ate the food and drinks. I didn’t fight back or try to leave.”

“Because he drugged you!” Twyler’s voice rises.

“Twy,” Nadia says. “You know what it’s like to have shitty stuff done to you by a guy. There are shades of gray and I don’t want this out there. Everyone already thinks I’m a stupid, slutty jersey chaser. I don’t want to be a victim on top of that.”

Twyler sighs, and I step away from the door, realizing that my eavesdropping just makes me another asshole invading Nadia’s personal life. I also don’t miss out on the fact that although I’ve always gotten consent from the women I was with, I can’t say for certain we were always on the same page.

I’m pulling on my jeans when the bedroom door opens, and Twyler steps in wearing the hoodie she stole from me weeks ago. A feral possessiveness licks up my spine.

“Hey,” I say, drawing my eyes away from the sweatshirt to the defeated expression on her face. “Everything okay?”

She shrugs. “Nadia doesn’t want to file a report. Which is her choice.”

I wrap my arms around her and pull her to my chest. “You’re a good friend.”

“I just hate that all of this is happening to her.”

“I know, Sunshine.” I press a kiss to her forehead. “Nadia’s tough and she’s got your support. Maybe she’ll come around.”

She leans into me, and I know now is the time to talk to her. To lay my cards on the table, but I’ve also got practice in an hour and I’ve got to get home for my gear. Something tells me it’s going to take more than a few minutes to convince her to give me a shot.

“So listen,” I say, tilting her head up where I can look her in the eye. “I was hoping maybe we could meet up later today.” My phone buzzes on the bed. Probably one of the guys reminding me about practice. I pick up and scan the message. “What the fuck?”

Her eyebrows lift and she peers around me to see the phone. “What?”

“It’s Brent.” I frown at the text. “He wants us to meet him.”

“Why the hell would we do that?”

The phone buzzes again—another message but this time it’s a photo. I open the screen and peer at the grainy image. Despite the quality, I recognize that it was taken last night—the camera angle coming from the direction of Brent’s house, capturing me and Twyler next to my car, caught in an embrace.

The message that follows is to the point: We need to talk.