Zhan's pov
"I am going to be an orphan," I said as I was lying in Yibo's lap, I had stopped crying but my tears wouldn't stop flowing. Yibo was wiping my tears and also caressing my hair.
"It sucks," I said again, "Like why me."
"I feel like dying. I don't want to live anymore." he paused caressing my hair and holding my hand.
"Don't say that." he pleaded, "please Zhan don't talk like that."
"My whole world has collapsed Yibo...I don't know what to do anymore, I will be an orphan, who should I live for? My parents won't be here to see me become successful.
They won't be here when I achieve something, I'll come back to an empty cold house, they won't be here to be proud of me, they won't be here to congratulate me, to celebrate my success with me. I will never see the joy on their faces when I become successful.
No one would be there for me."
"I will be." Yibo said, his own eyes becoming teary, "I will always be there for you Zhan, I'll be proud of you, I'll be happy for you, I'll celebrate your success with you, I'll congratulate you, I'll always be there when you achieve something big, you are not alone, I will never give up on you."
Hearing that made me cry.
Yibo hugged me.
~~
My mental state didn't get any better, seeing my father slowly die made it worse.
I couldn't sleep at night, I cried for hours, I didn't feel like eating, I felt exhausted all the time.
But I learned to hide my tears, I learned to smile in front of my father pretending to be strong while dying from within. I pretended to be normal.
And I discovered that I was good at acting.
Yibo was practically living at my house now, I would lay on the bed while hugging him, I was becoming more and more dependent on him which wasn't good but I couldn't help it, he was my rock, I felt like I would lose myself in this ocean of grief if I didn't hold on to him.
"It's going to be your graduation ceremony soon right?" my dad asked.
"Yes. But I am not planning to attend."
"You should."
"I don't want to."
"Come on, it happens once in life just go."
I sighed as I looked at my dad, he just gave me a smile and said, "Please, for me."
He is getting really comfortable playing that card. Nowadays I can't say no to him.
"Dad I...."
"Come on Zhan please." He said, "Just go."
"Fine."
He smiled and I smiled back.
~~
Today was my graduation ceremony, and honestly, I didn't want to go, I wanted to spend as much time as I could with my dad, I didn't want to leave him alone, not even once.
But he really wanted me to go, he wanted me to experience it since it happens only once in life, but I wouldn't feel happy over there I would be miserable.
The doorbell rang and when I answered the door I saw Yibo over there, he gave me a smile and asked, "Are you ready?"
"Yeah," I replied half-heartedly.
Yibo grabbed my hand and said, "Let's go then."
~~
As I had predicted I was indeed miserable over there, the entire time I was thinking about my father. All the time that I was wasting here could be used to be with my dad.
I got my documents and walked out, however as soon as I came out I stopped in my tracks when I saw my dad in front of me, he was sitting in a wheelchair, my aunt and uncle were beside him and Yibo was with them too, his mother was over there too.
"Congratulations!!!"
They yelled and congratulated me.
I felt overwhelmed, my lips quivered and my eyes became wet with tears I kept my hand over my mouth and turned around trying not to cry.
But my uncle and aunt hugged me tightly.
My father came beside me and I hugged him too.
"Come on let's click a photo." My aunt said.
I posed with my dad trying to hold back my tears, forcing myself to laugh, my aunt made sure to take hundreds of photos.
I took photos with Yibo and hugged him too.
It was an emotional day, a day that I would always remember
~~
My father's health deteriorated, it was hard to see him like that.
I practically stayed in the hospital with him, and didn't leave his side.
His body was slowly giving up, the light in his eyes was slowly dimming, he was in immense pain, and honestly, I couldn't see him like that anymore.
I wanted him to be free from this pain. He had suffered enough.
"Zhan."
My father called out my name, making me get up from the couch, I sat beside him and held his hand.
"Yes, Dad."
I knew it was hard for him to even speak but he was still trying, "I am proud of you, I love you, son, you are my treasure, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, you are my sweet little child, my boy, never let anyone make you feel less because you are not. I am sure you are going to be a great person."
"Dad."
"Your mother and I will always be with you, we will always watch over you, don't let grief take over you, it will be hard at first but you are a strong person, I know that you will come out of this tragedy as a better person, I am sorry dear for making you go through so much. But Zhan promise me, you will never ever lose yourself, don't drink alcohol, or drugs, and don't make any impulsive decisions. Promise me son that you will not let these circumstances defeat you or define you. Hard situations make or break a person and you will not break, promise me."
"I promise Dad, I will not let you down, I will never do anything which will hurt you, I promise you I will be successful."
My dad smiled he kissed my hand, "After I am gone, let your uncle and aunt help you okay? Give them a chance, I trust them, so please trust them too. I am sure they will be good mentors to you, I love you, son."
"I love you, dad." My dad closed his eyes and sighed.
And after that, he never woke up again.