Yibo's pov~
After walking aimlessly, hyperventilating and calling Bodhi and crying to him on the phone venting about everything that happened, I finally reached my home.
Bodhi was kind as always, he listened patiently, like always without any judgment, he calmed me down, said kind words, did some breathing exercise with me. He helped me calm down.
After calming down, I finally thought about everything, Jessie was a menace, and I knew why he did what he did, he was obsessed with Zhan.
The one I was most worried about was Zhan, I don't want his family to turn their backs on him, I don't want him to get away from them. I don't want him to be ashamed because of me.
I should have told him I was leaving, he must be panicking, and the fact that I didn't even answer his calls must have made things worse. I felt guilty.
I knew that Zhan still had abandonment issues, because of how I had left him, I had promised him that I would never do that again, which was true, I was not going to leave him, but I should have done better, I should have told him.
I stopped in front of my apartment when I saw someone sitting beside my door. My eyes were filled with tears when I saw Zhan, crouched down on the floor, with his knees hugging his chest and his head over his arms. He was quiet, he looked so small right now.
I gently walked towards him and kept my hand over his shoulder, and as soon as my hand touched his shoulder he moved and looked up, I saw his red eyes, his tear-stained face, and my heart shattered.
Zhan held my hand and gave me a gentle smile, "I was waiting for you, I was so worried, so scared that you might have left."
I sat in front of him, and stared into his eyes, Zhan held my hand tightly, so tightly that it was painful, his knuckles had become white and tears slipped from his eyes. I stared at his knuckles, which were red.
My eyes widened as I held his hand but he took both of my hands into his and squeezed them, bringing them to his forehead.
"Yibo... Yibo...fuck..." he voice shivered, "Fuck I was so scared. I am so sorry for what my family did, I shouldn't have left you alone. Yibo...I was so fucking scared, I felt like I was transported back to ten years ago when you had vanished, I know you promised me that you won't leave, and I trust you...but fuck my heart still gets scared, " He grabbed my right hand and kept my palm over his chest, "my heart won't calm down."
I could feel his heartbeat, it was not calm.
I looked at him, my own tears flew down my cheeks, "I am sorry Zhan, I should have told you before leaving, I was just worried about your family, what they might think and you-"
Zhan spoke, "I don't care, Yibo, I don't care what anyone says, all I care is what you say, what you think, what you want, all I want is you. I fucking love you Yibo, I love everything about you, I accept everything about you, your past, your future, your present, every bad habit every good habit, I love everything about you. Does my opinion, and my wants mean nothing to you?"
"It's not like that," I said, Zhan's opinions mattered the most to me. And I can see how much I affected him, how much my presence mattered to him, this man was crying like a child, while sitting on the floor in front of my house because he was scared that I was going to leave him. I realised that the power of my hold over him. Zhan loved me, with his heart and soul."
Zhan sighed, "I am a horrible person for making today about myself, it was you who was humiliated and I was the one failed to be there for you, and here I am crying like an idiot and getting comforted by you, I should be the one comforting you and reassuring you."
I smiled, "You did that. You comforted me and gave me reassurance."
"By crying like an idiot in front of your house?" Zhan spoke, while I wiped his tears.
"Yes." I said as I connected our foreheads, "I love you. I will always love you Zhan, you are my world, you are my treasure, my everything, I.will.never.abandon.you. Never. This time I am going to stick with you, I promise."
Zhan sighed, "I trust you."
"Let's go inside," I said before I got up and helped Zhna get up too.
~~~
"So where did you get blood on your knuckles?" I asked as we lay on our bed cuddling.
"I beat the living daylights out of Jessie," he said, "I was just so mad at him, I also yelled at my grandpa, lucy, grandma...they all must be so angry with me. I really thought that I might lose my family as well as you... it was a scary thought," he said as he tightened his arms around me.
He was worried about his family.
I kept my head over his chest and hugged him tightly.
Zhan spoke, "I love my uncle, aunt, grandma, Yanli, Cheng, A-xiang, Aunt Audrey, they all have been amazing to me, so welcoming, so kind, so loving, I don't want to lose them. I yelled in front of my uncle, what he must be thinking. Fuck."
I looked up at him and wiped his tears, "we'll talk to them, and we'll apologise."
He sighed as he stared at the ceiling, I didn't like seeing him like this, so I hugged him tightly. We stayed like that till we fell asleep.